hiranospiercing

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Pros of re-reading your own fic

a good time;

Has exactly the tropes you like and the characterization you want to read;

Gratification: yes you did finish a thing and yes you did do good;

just a very fun time all around.

Cons of re-reading your own fic:

Is that another TYpO

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i’m in such disbelief right now and beyond disgusted.

i really hope y’all are choosing your morals over kpop; because we do not know these men at all. i will never side with or defend a predator and a criminal, even with little to no proof. even if there is the smallest chance he may be innocent, i will always believe the victim first.

some of you, as fans of the boys for years and him in general, i know you must be feeling disappointed and betrayed. you’re not dumb for previously supporting him, as we couldn’t have possibly known. but now is the time for a reality check and it’s time to wake up and take a step back. this just goes to show that we know absolutely nothing about them.

for sm to just outright put out a statement on their own before any rumors even surfaced and immediately kick him out? this has to be insanely serious and i’m terrified of what he could’ve done. the crazy thing is with everything currently happening in korea with the telegram situation, and korean women constantly being in danger in general because of the men there, i’m not at all surprised that celebrities are being exposed. sm has protected criminals before, and held onto lucas when his scandal came out as well as other artists who have been exposed for similar crimes. i can’t even imagine the severity of the current situation. we’ve seen what happened with the burning sun, and these men are not immune to being misogynistic, vile human beings.

members have already unfollowed him and deleted posts with him in them; his best friend of 17yrs has unfollowed him. the company taking the initiative and him getting kicked out of the group in less than a second before anything even came out, no denying the claims or even trying to defend him. that should be enough to tell you and understand how serious this actually is. i am beyond disgusted with him and this whole situation.

i sincerely hope the victim is doing okay and praying for them to heal and get the justice they deserve. and remember that your love for these celebrities should always be conditional, because we do not know them. it’s their job to put on a show and show you their public persona, but behind closed doors? we don’t know what they’re actually like. we put them on a pedestal and yet we don’t know what they’re really capable of. they are still men after all. i hope the police are taking this seriously. there needs to be consequences and these women need to be protected.

let this be a lesson to all of us. they don’t know us, and we don’t know them, not really, not at all.

ALWAYS choose morals over these strangers you idolize. and as women, we should be standing with the victims.

maybe not all men, but enough of them. and maybe not all men, but somehow always a man. and going forward, i will continue to support nct as a whole with the remaining members. however, keeping the situation in mind, i will be supporting from afar for a little while. if the situation escalates and other members are investigated and new information comes to light about the rest of them either knowing or possibly being involved, it would be best to step away for good. i will do my best to stay updated. but i do hope the rest of the members are doing okay, and hopefully no other members were involved; but this, just shows that they can always surprise us. you never think it’ll be your fave, until it is.

let’s hope this causes a domino effect and more of these people are exposed and charged for the crimes they’re committing.

sending love to anyone who has ever experienced sexual violence or has been targeted and been in a similar situation. it is not your fault and it never was!

love you all and my dms are always open if you need to vent. <3

❗️EDIT: also i wanna add that we need to not praise the rest of the members or any other celebrity for simply unfollowing him on social media. that is the least of anyone’s worries.

we don’t know if they were aware, we don’t know if they knew and were protecting him or turning a blind eye. it could be them trying to save themselves and clear their guilty conscience. maybe they didn’t know and are just as shocked as we are, we don’t know that either.

we blindly trust these people and believe they have good intentions but look at where that can lead to. fans being upset is valid, yes; but remember people with money and power will do whatever it takes to sweep things under the rug and make it go away in order to save face and keep their image and reputation.

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i'd watched weak hero class 1 recently,

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it's them .........................

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back in 2022 i made a post recommending my favourite bl mangas and it's probably one of my most popular posts on this blog like people still reblog it and whenever i see a notification reminding me of the existence of that post i'am instantly filled with such embarrassment because how could i have been so media illiterate back then, i made that post to encourage people to read more non-smut focused bl mangas as i believed that it was fetishising and disrespectful towards gay men not realising that i was not in a place to decide what is fetishising or not, smut or not, yaoi or shounen ai, at the end of the day they are stories marketed towards straight women and you are not a saint just because you don't read the porn side of the things, honestly i have realised that there shouldn't be a sense of moral superiority just because you read something specific, i did not save gay men by making that post honestly i don't even think actual gay men care about yaoi they have actual lives to deal with, another thing is how i was actually not well read back then, i mentioned how i shifted towards bl as a genre because I found shoujo repetitive which IS SO INFURIATING TO ME NOW BECAUSE IT'S NOT. IT WAS ME WHO DID NOT READ ENOUGH. okay i was like 16 when i made that post but it's totally on me. please bully me for that post. back then i only read highschool adjacent romance shoujo mangas and never explored outside of that, did not do my research and reached the conclusion that shoujo is boring, i have read such great shoujo/josei stories in the last 2 years that it makes me feel so bad that there might be some people who will read that post and agree with that sentence. honestly i've reflected and learned two things: a) read whatever you want and be chill about it, you are not morally superior for liking or disliking something

b) if you think something is repetitive, it's probably because that's all you read and you haven't expanded your horizons towards multiple sub genres and authors in general

bonus: c) good shoujo will change your life. please read more shoujo.

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loving hirano.

i. loving someone like him was rather tricky, it wasn’t a confession but perhaps a weapon, a weapon kagiura used every morning to slit open his own chest and hand hirano his heart, hirano would hesitate, saying how his hands were bloody, how he could not really articulate how the organ worked, how he possibly could not do anything with it, how he is worried that kagiura would probably die if he keeps doing this every day, kagiura knows that he would keep doing this every day, till the day hirano is willing to spare him that hesitation, till the day he is worried about him dying.

ii. kagiura could barely write, he could barely speak, perhaps it was fear, holding so much of hirano within him had made him too delicate, he feared opening his mouth and losing the only thing he owned of him, hirano’s name rested on the tip of his tongue, on the corner of his mouth, kagiura is a coward, he would rather shove his hand down his throat where hirano’s name vibrated than holding someone else’s.

iii. whenever kagiura dreams about hirano he always finds him in the kitchen, pouring him tea while the both of them do not speak, the only thing he could hear is his despair and his hands crying in agony because all they want is to perhaps rest on hirano’s waist, though they just weep, sometimes he wonders that he could possibly touch him, it is a dream after all, but a shameful part of his heart reminds him that the pain served by hirano is all he could ever devour, even in his dreams.

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and i often picture hirano and kagiura as exes who ended up on bad terms simply because i have the liberty to do so hehe but also because they embody chaos, the comforting yet silently wrenching your gut kind of chaos, because kagiura is not as patient as sasaki, because they do not handle each other gently, i have always compared the dynamics shared by sasaki and miyano and hirano and kagiura parallely and the biggest difference is not the post i made months ago but the way they devour love, hirano is reckless unlike miyano, he doesn't have the ability to realize how his presence, his touch, his voice, all of him is a weapon, a knife to kagiura's complacency, that he simply cannot touch kagiura and expect him to act all sane when it is the most horrible thing his mind and his skin has to deal with, because kagiura is already devoted to him when they are perhaps people who do not understand how devotion works, i often picture hirano and kagiura as exes who ended up on bad terms simply because they both are working really hard to achieve a goal and if compared their goals are almost like diverging roads.

but i also think about the way hirano has a smile reserved for kagiura and the way kagiura has a language he only speaks to hirano and that is one of love, how hirano wouldn't mind doing something as unnecessary as returning a chocolate just because it made his "roommate" jealous and the way kagiura probably doesn't care about academics but would stay up solving a math equation just to share a space with someone he loves who doesn't love him back, yet, i often think about hirano and kagiura as exes who ended up on bad terms finding each other again with perhaps more patience and the same love to stay together till their presence in each others lives becomes as normal as breathing.

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Date created: September 10th 2022

The screenshot redrawwww! My Kagi art peaked here honestly

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all this uni all this moving with roommates all this work is making me lose myself I DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ MANGA ANYMORE

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My Chapter 22 Commentary

“We aren’t going on a date!” “Yes, we are!” The beautiful boys that you are. I love the start to this chapter, their combined prettiness hit me like a truck ngl. It was also such an odd feeling seeing Kagiura’s hair still left in the same position as we last saw it months ago. Feelin like we’re on earth while Kagihira are on the Miller planet in Interstellar, time speeding by for us but inching ever so slowly for them. Anyway, they’re adorable here. And Kagiura is getting prettier by every chapter.

I love how much bolder Kagiura is now too; probably emboldened by Hirano’s initiative in choosing the location of the 10 seconds last chapter. And Hirano. Hirano, once again, saying no to something with Kagiura, then realizing he’s actually at least somewhat okay with it (if not more).

Chapter 22: Slowly but Surely. The Gap Between Givers and Takers Like everyone else, I’m soooo encouraged by the name of this chapter. Like. This is really happening huh. Things are really changing for Hirano in real-time, and he’s becoming very incrementally more aware of it. And the tagline is so ooogh… is it referring to the palpable difference felt when you are the giver of touch (by extension, affection, and by extension, love), is it referring to the gap slowly and ultimately diminishing to the point that there is no longer a difference felt whether one is the giver or taker and the effect felt is the same no matter what? Is it referring to the widening discrepancy between our boundless acquisition of our planet’s resources and what our poor earth is physically capable of supplying us with hence sending us further past the point of no-return for ecological sustainability? Only sensei has the true answers.

“We’re just going shopping! No one calls that a ‘date’!” “People go on shopping dates all the time!” Kagiura continuing to fight the good fight. He’s right, Hirano. I mean if even uniform dates exist, surely anything can be a date…

“How long?” “It’s a secret. But I’ll tell you… Once you fall in love with me.” Honestly, I don’t really know specifically, but I feel like the fact that sensei did a throwback to Hirano wondering how long Kagiura’d been in love with him, is more significant/relevant to the future storyline than we think right now…  

Other than, you know, Kagiura cranking up his rizz to MAXIMUM DRIVE Niibashi putting distance between him and Kagiura in front of Hirano is so funny. Even funnier is Kagiura’s adorable little “Niibashi’s mad at me because I’m missing a button :D” happy-go-lucky air here while he grins ear to ear. I also love the different ways both Niibashi and Hirano get angry around Kagiura hahah. Kagiura really is the perfect easygoing friend for that kind of personality. Still thinking about somebody pointing out the fact that Kagiura’s button was shown missing since the chapter cover for #20…

“Shall we skip practice today? I feel bad monopolizing you every day.” Please monopolize him until the end of time. Niibashi just quietly simmering in the background like my dinner. Hirano looking up at Kagiura in such a cute little way while holding the ends of his sweater, why the frick does this give me such domestic vibes.. Ha ha it reminds me of Kagiura holding Hirano’s ring folder when he was fixing it up in the nurs e ‘ s  o f  f  i     c     e         .            .                    .

I’m sorry I am now looking at the symbolism for paper cranes (the ones in the background on the table behind Niibashi calling Kagiura a slob, and well, it’s not much, it’s just stuff like honor, good luck/fortune (hmm), loyalty and longevity (hmmmmm)… Slowly but surely…

Sewing privileges transferred. Niibashi’s organs eroding from the inside-out from seeing (and probably simultaneously remembering everything Kagiura’s told him Hirano has done/said) every speck of affection dripping out from every crevice on Hirano’s gay little face and body.

“There’s nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it.” Including realizing your growing romantic feelings for Kagiura, right? Man the way Hirano keeps poking/hurting himself in the process of trying to fix Kagiura’s button/make up for wrecking it himself… makes me emo how he doesn’t mind getting hurt if it’s all for Kagiura’s sake aghhhh byeeeee… Love all the fond smiles Kagiura gives when Hirano says something cool, gahhhh… they love each other so much… I cant handle them…. “Ugh, why do you have to be so stubborn even with something like this?!” “I’m just messing with you.” Aaaand there’s his first smile of the chapter, followed by the next one 6 pages later (and one of my favourite panels of Kagihira together ;___; laughing together and relishing purely just being with the other….

Can’t remember if someone said this already, but I don’t know if it’s significant here, them both being on one side of the window frame’s shadow (the ‘centre line’ (Romance: don’t cross the line)). I mean it’d make sense I guess, since what Kagiura initiated wasn’t super romantic relatively speaking, albeit still a very affectionate gesture. Either way though- no lines were crossed, for sure.

Bony shoulder… hard thigh from the lap pillow… the physical awareness of each others’ bodies…. the way Kagiura rubs his head on it like he’s a cat on a scratching post… I digress. Love how sensei does lighting in her manga. The shadow that separates part of Hirano from Kagiura on the page after Kagiura told him it makes his heart race. Oooh…

...It doesn’t make mine race, though. But… It’s still not bad at all. What if I died. No but for real, this hurtssss because Hirano’s thinking to himself how he doesn’t physiologically feel the same as Kagiura, but he still enjoys the contact. He still likes touching it. Even if I’m not in love with you the way you are with me, I still want to be with you Kagi-kun.

I also want to mention something. I’ve kind of picked up this little.. thing.. of counting the panels of their ten second touching as if each panel is a second. Now, I’m too lazy to look through right now but there was at least one time when it equated to about 10 panels, 10 seconds, right? Well here, I’m counting 14 panels of his head being on Hirano’s shoulder. I was talking with friends about this and we were so unanimous about the fact that this was *not* 10 seconds long. Okay, it could’ve been, but c’mon, between all their talking, do you reallyyyy think Kagiura was fully counting the whole time. Be for real

Oh… Was that 10 seconds already? Back to the lighting. MAN. So good. The shadow on both the boys as Kagiura removes the weight of his head from Hirano’s shoulder. I hope his shoulder felt lighter. I hope it felt wrong to feel so light. Just like when Kagiura removed his arms from around Hirano after the hug and Hirano shivered a little. I hope each and every continued loss of weight and warmth is an accumulated strip torn off of Hirano’s psyche, and I hope he reaches the point where he is just a building torn to shreds whose only hope for reconstruction is the handyman responsible for the teardown in the first place.

God I just noticed Kagiura’s made that smiling while looking down face before, in chp 17, and Hirano just watches him so closely… but that wasn’t after touching. However in chp15 it was after their first 10 sec touching, but he wasn’t smiling, he looked blushily anguished, and Hirano was observing him in the panel right before it, top left, just as he is here…

Oh Hirano…bold of you to think Kagiura’s only been teaching you basketball…

It’s so crazy how Miyano dispels all this manga-obtained BL wisdom and yet does not have the intuition to put 2 and 2 together from what is coming out of Hirano’s mouth. It’s okay, not everyone can be Tashiro/Hanzawa…

Also, I feel like everyone’s processed it long enough that it’s just normal now, but Hirano admitting his heart raced during the hug and it not being mentioned at all (not even in motherfreaking SFX) up until this point is insane. It’s insanity. What other finer details are being kept under wraps til much later? Anyway, so I guess Hirano’s parents aren’t the hugging type ;_;  

Love the Hiramiya banter. And Hirano’s chibi face in the, “Yeah, right???” panel. Aaaand cue Exhibit #2(?) of Hirano’s selective hearing in full display. So frustrating yet funny. Miyano literally giving out the secrets to the universe FOR FREE and Hirano’s out here like “man I really need the secrets of the universe, whatever shall I do”

I mean, personally, I don’t think we can know for sure yet if his heart was beating hard during the hug from surprise or from ~something else~, until they, like, schedule in a hug or something. Pencil it into their busy schedules in advance and know it’s coming and be fully prepared for it only for his heart to start racing again despite the precognition and become totally ruined inside and out, only then will I sleep soundly at night-

And then the infamous: When he’s around…it’s so much easier to focus. God I wish I could see him 顔が見てえ…Kao ga mitē…I want to see his face…. instant ruination. thrown asunder further into uncertainty. I’ve definitely had crushes where my infatuation developed while at a distance, pondering how much I think of them, and then leading to further physical reactions within their proximity. I feel… good things will come of this date. Though it’d be nice if Kagiura hugged Hirano during the date, to further nail down Miyano’s quote of how much they wanted to see the person, and then getting embraced after.

Ahhh… Hirano pissed off, then receiving Kagi’s text and instantly relaxing and smiling…and regaining the focus to study. Not to mention Hirano adding a date-like activity to their very non-date date. And calling it “not a date, but...”

I’m going to throw them into the sun. /lovingly

[hiranospiercing]

you’re at a crossroads: stay on the train and watch his back retreat from you until he vanishes into the crowd; look at the ring on his finger and think about someone else.

Or.

the doors nearly scruff sasaki as he slips out at the last second. hirano wouldn’t have noticed him, obviously, busy going his own way, but still sasaki trails a little uncertainly after him. he’s not eager to call out his name in a train station packed with people, not eager to call attention to… whatever he’s doing. so he doggedly follows in his path, going as fast as the crowd allows, and—sasaki, more than a little gracelessly, takes hold of hirano’s elbow, pulling him off-course. pulling him around a corner, down a strange corridor, around another corner. pulls him firmly into the shadows.

he finds himself at a crossroads.

[hiranospiercing]

People should make more doomed by narratives siblings relationship.

Like with lovers you can just sever it and not have it related to you ever again but with siblings how could you?

You grow up with them you raise them or they raised you you both know how unforgiving the world is to both of you? You would die for them but will hate them for doing the same and yet none of you would regret it and both of you know it. They could be the person you loath the most and miss the most cause you still remember how they sneaked a candy into your hands. You can sever the tie but you can never look away at what you've lost, at whom you've lost because fate doesn't allow you to be together, eating dinners in quiet peace, if only there's another life, another time, where i can make you another plate of pancakes i would im sorry im sorry im sorry —

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truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

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i think the biggest difference between shima and hanazawa is how shima actually is pretty isolated from love not only practically but theoretically, hanazawa on the other hand gets so weirded out by the existence of romance that. IT'S HIS JOB NOW TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. he wouldn't leave love alone and will scrutinize it like a lab rat. also hanazawa's ass is too nosy. girl can never stay out of everyones love life. like he would go batshit embarrassed after hearing about it. but he has to know. shima is just too aro to even be a little nosy. yes.

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I don’t know. I feel like maybe I can get so much mileage out of Weird in ssmyverse because I know that harusono’s got the chops for that sort of thing. just look at butai ni sake

you know

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Artist's Criteria For "Successful Art" Depends on Whether or Not These 5 Mutuals Write Something in the Tags