holdmesammthatwasbeautiful-blog - Tumblr blog

[holdmesammthatwasbeautiful-blog]

hello my beauties, just a reminder-

this is a backup blog in case tumblr deletes my real one again. for the moment i’m back at @holdmesamthatwasbeautiful and i’m not checking this daily or replying to things from here. xxninni

[holdmesammthatwasbeautiful-blog]

(1/5) He doesn't do it often. John feels guilty enough leaving his boys alone so much; he hates leaving them when it's not critical for a hunt. But a man has needs, and every now and then he takes himself down to the sketchy parts of towns they visit, picks out something slim and pretty. Girls, always, and so what if half of them have sunkissed hair and big green eyes and the other half have brown hair (never the right eyes) and a sullen set to their mouths.

(2/5) He’ll spend a couple hours playing out his fantasies, and he tries to tell himself that it has nothing to do with the boys waiting for him to come home when he sweet talks the blondes into letting him fuck them raw, pays the brunettes extra to let him slap their faces and spank their asses glowing red. He’s gotten good at ignoring how he chooses brunettes after a blow-out fight with Sammy, blondes after seeing Dean walk through the motel with his shirt off and chest covered in bitemarks.

(3/5) John’s not sure who’s more surprised when the girl he pulls into an alley turns out to be a boy. Turns out to be Dean. Dean, looking terrified and angry, and John’s not used to that look when it’s not on Sam’s face. Dean stutters out an explanation, money gone too fast and the motel manager needs rent and Sam needs new shoes because his feet just don’t stop growing, and John almost makes himself hand over his hooker cash but his dick’s been aching for his boy and now…

(4/5) “You want to whore yourself out?” He throws folded bills at Dean, knows he’ll regret this later. “Get on your knees.” He half expects Dean to balk, punch him, take the money and walk away, anything but kneel down in the filth and unzip John’s pants, pull out his cock. Dean’s throat convulses around him, and his tear-filled eyes are prettier than any girl he’s ever bought, and John fucks into his mouth roughly.

(5/5) “You need more money, earn it from me,“ he says after he comes, when Dean has swallowed everything down and they’ve both straightened their clothes. John tells himself that he’s just keeping Dean safe, protecting him from the creeps he’s been selling himself to. And honestly, Dean doesn’t seem to object to this new arrangement, just says softly "don’t tell Sam.” (Ninni, I’m so glad you’re back! I missed you. This is a welcome back gift if you want it.)

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well, h e l l o. god damn, this is so painful&delicious. john’s guilt and want and fury. dean, ever so beautifully submissive for his father. sammy’s feet won’t stop growing&earning that money on his knees from john himself. just- nngh. this is where i’ll let my soul decay. 

thank you, you wonderful human. this is perfect.  

[holdmesammthatwasbeautiful-blog]

some of you already noticed that my old blog @holdmesamthatwasbeautiful has been activated again ♡ i’ll probably keep this little thing around in case something would happen, but i’ll be hanging out over there from now on. i’ll be moving over some stuff from here to there, like asks&hc’s that you’ve sent. ily all 💋-ninni

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Self care tip: destroying capitalism will improve a lot of people’s lives ☺

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Jared Padalecki

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i hope you're going to keep posting about the french revolution. your old blog (im so sorry you lost it) actually made me want to watch la revolution francaise, and i was so taken by it. thank you for introducing me to camille and saint-just

citoyen, le roi doit régner ou mourir ♡

of course, of course i will. the french revolution and my beloved jacobins will always, always be present. the fact that you picked up on it??and even watched lrf, my absolute favourite movie, makes me so unbelievably happy. i thought my obscure history posts just bored you all.

saint just&camille. anon. i could fill books with my feelings about them, and robespierre. whoever you are, i love you.

[holdmesammthatwasbeautiful-blog]

“May my silences become more accurate.”

— Theodore Roethke.

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“Sweet stars, I’ll ask a softer question: Moon Attend me to the end. I’m here alone.”

— Theodore Roethke, Straw for the Fire

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THIS IS NOT OKAY

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Oh Ninni my girl I didn't know where you went 💔 I thought you were taking a break, I went to find your blog and find out this has happened to u. I have so many screenshots of your little fics in my phone I love u I love u I love u 💕💕 sending you such sweet vibes and silk ribbons with a sharpened blade attached 💕💕 always gonna be here for u

this is so sweet, oh my god. it means a lot that you enjoy my stuff so much. i’ll try to fill this blog up with new filthy little scribbles for you to screenshot. thank you for this lovely little note, dearest ♡

also, silk ribbons&sharp blades? how well you know me🎀

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WE STAN A COMEBACK QUEEN HONESTLY OH GOODNESS THIS IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK

roma my love thank you♡ ♡ ♡

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“Stay with me and help me to clothe my bitter thoughts in lovelier colours.”

— Mary Shelley, from “Mathilda,” originally published c. October 1819