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[holiday--a--day]

Jan 19

Today is Find a Ninja Day - They’re out there, it’s not easy, but those dedicated to the cause will find them. The prize for doing so - the satisfaction that you actually found a ninja hiding in everyday life. If you don’t find one, you must commit hara kari. Rules are rules

Caution - do not try to cheat by dressing up as a ninja to help your friends. There is a massive ninja war currently going on, the last thing you ever want to do is get in the middle of a ninja war.

[holiday--a--day]

Jan 15

Today is Invent a New Religion Day - This may be the most important new holiday of the year. It has worked marvelously for countless others, not so much for their opposition, but for those who have invented religions, you’ll have it all!

Make up any religion you want. The more ridiculous the rules, the better. Tell your followers that they can’t eat strawberries, or no talking on Friday. It’s your religion, your turn to play God. Build great temples in your name. Be the cause of everything bad or good in your followers lives. Try not to start any more wars, that’s actually not a tenant of religion. But you can call anyone who doesn’t agree with you a blasphemer! And of course, fight science.

Important - Don’t forget to claim Jesus, every religion must claim Jesus as their own. That’s the one rule.

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Jan 13

Today is Snake Guy Day - be that guy that used to walk around with a snake on their shoulders. The animal or object you choose to put on your shoulders is irrelevant, what is important is that you walk around with something on your shoulders that screams ‘hey, look at me, I have something on my shoulders, doesn’t that make me interesting.’ The more you look like you believe you’re the most unique person in the world, the better.

Bonus points if you shave your head and wear a goatee.

[holiday--a--day]

Jan 12

Today is Drive Backwards Day - pretty self explanatory, everywhere you go, drive in reverse. This one works best if everyone does it. Flip off anyone who does not observe this important holiday.

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July 23

Today is Karate Demonstration Day - throughout the day, if anyone asks you a question, break into a full on karate demonstration. The questioner must assist by holding boards for breaking and high kicking. Upon completion, the questioner provides a score (1-10) .

[holiday--a--day]

July 20

Today is Flag Day - this is the important flag day, fuck the other one. Create your own flag, put it on anything you want to claim as your own and it is yours. Simple proven tactic.

[holiday--a--day]

June 1

Today is memorialize historical monsters day - find the worst person from history that you can, canonize them with a holiday. Invent ridiculous traditions. Anything goes today.

Some examples to get you started:

Pope Benedict IX

Joseph Stalin

Vlad the Impaler

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May 27

Today is be someone else day - Fully take on the life of someone you know. Assume their personality, wear their clothes, make out with their significant other, go to their job or classes. This one takes full commitment.

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May 23

Today is arm wrestling appreciation day - where would we be without arm wrestling.. Go out and challenge every person you encounter today to an arm wrestling match. Be sure to carry a regulation arm wrestling table around with you all day.

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Mar 13

Today is Taken day - if anyone or anything has been taken from you, karate your way back to it. Most importantly, make a threatening phone call, even if it's too your mom

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Mar 12

Today is quit while you're ahead day - go ahead and call it, sit back and enjoy the rest of it

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Mar 11

Today is break dance battle day - if anyone gets in your face or disagrees with you in general, you must break dance battle them then and there to determine who is right

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Mar 10

Today is punch your boss day - go out and give em a good one