hollowskies - Tumblr blog

[hollowskies]

stopping by for another update! im doing incredible. just finished my first year of uni, tabled at a convention, and im surrounded by people who i love and who love me. everyone was right. it really does get better.

hey

if youre here, you can probably see that i was not in a great place for a while. i mean, mainly this blog is just a log for me - somewhere to vent and scream and catalogue my thoughts

but if you somehow stumbled on this mess, or youre important enough to me that i told you this url (and honestly, if i told you it, you must be VERY important), or if youre just another version of me, coming to look back on this,,,,

im getting better. im so much better already. my k10 score has come down from 47 to 23. im doing good, really. maybe im not getting the best grades in school, and maybe i still struggle to get up every morning, but i have a will to live. a WANT to live. a big future laid out in front of me that i am so excited about.

so like,, its may, 2017. and im okay.

[hollowskies]

henlo its november now and i’m still doing great :D my final history exam is tomorrow, and my psychology one is next tuesday, and then i’ll be done. then i’ll graduate. can y’all heckin believe it? i came so close to dropping out last year. i came so close to dying. but here i am, a year later, all healed scars and smiles and happiness. life is good and im so so so glad i’m alive :D

hey

if youre here, you can probably see that i was not in a great place for a while. i mean, mainly this blog is just a log for me - somewhere to vent and scream and catalogue my thoughts

but if you somehow stumbled on this mess, or youre important enough to me that i told you this url (and honestly, if i told you it, you must be VERY important), or if youre just another version of me, coming to look back on this,,,,

im getting better. im so much better already. my k10 score has come down from 47 to 23. im doing good, really. maybe im not getting the best grades in school, and maybe i still struggle to get up every morning, but i have a will to live. a WANT to live. a big future laid out in front of me that i am so excited about.

so like,, its may, 2017. and im okay.

[hollowskies]

asdfghjkl im scared im falling in love w you and like? thats such a bad idea?? what if i make you uncomfortable. what if i RUIN EVERYTHING like how bout i dont :') and r my feelings genuine or like?? im just lonely and single and attention starved and youre my favourite person so im like "well time to love u romantically" like??? WHAT AM I DOING :') and i dont want to make things awkward by telling you but tbh if this develops properly i probably should tell you?? fairly sure its kinda creepy if im doin platonic things with romantic motives its like, taking advantage of ur friendship asdfghhll also have i mentioned how much i miss ali lately bc wow i sure do miss ali

[hollowskies]

i'm sick of sleeping alone

i want someone to cuddle with. to keep me warm. to make me not only smile on the outside but smile on the inside too.

[hollowskies]

and also? she wasnt worth all this fuss. no one will ever be worth all this fuss. if someone isnt going to give you back the effort youre putting in, god damn leave. youll be happier in the long run.

hey

if youre here, you can probably see that i was not in a great place for a while. i mean, mainly this blog is just a log for me - somewhere to vent and scream and catalogue my thoughts

but if you somehow stumbled on this mess, or youre important enough to me that i told you this url (and honestly, if i told you it, you must be VERY important), or if youre just another version of me, coming to look back on this,,,,

im getting better. im so much better already. my k10 score has come down from 47 to 23. im doing good, really. maybe im not getting the best grades in school, and maybe i still struggle to get up every morning, but i have a will to live. a WANT to live. a big future laid out in front of me that i am so excited about.

so like,, its may, 2017. and im okay.

[hollowskies]

hey

if youre here, you can probably see that i was not in a great place for a while. i mean, mainly this blog is just a log for me - somewhere to vent and scream and catalogue my thoughts but if you somehow stumbled on this mess, or youre important enough to me that i told you this url (and honestly, if i told you it, you must be VERY important), or if youre just another version of me, coming to look back on this,,,, im getting better. im so much better already. my k10 score has come down from 47 to 23. im doing good, really. maybe im not getting the best grades in school, and maybe i still struggle to get up every morning, but i have a will to live. a WANT to live. a big future laid out in front of me that i am so excited about. so like,, its may, 2017. and im okay.

[hollowskies]

A Suggestion:

Make tangible memories. Take photos and screenshots and selfies. Save plane tickets and concert stubs and pretty leaves you find on the side of the road. 

Write down how it felt like sunshine on your skin when they hugged you, or how you managed the perfect ratio of tea to milk on that rainy sunday you spent inside.

Highlight the paragraphs that mean something to you, or scrawl them on paper torn from a notebook and blue-tac them to your wall. Jot down that accidentally-inspirational piece of advice from your professor, or the joke that had you and your friends doubled over in tears.

Don’t be afraid of giving the past material form. Time is fake, and good moments make great memories.

[hollowskies]

A Quiet Reminder:

Have you taken your meds today? You should go do that ♡

[hollowskies]

A Quiet Reminder:

Consider stopping what you’re doing, and having a glass of water. Your body will thank you. It’s important to hydrate yourself.

[hollowskies]

breathe. lay back and rest. you’ve earned it. you’ve come a long way, and all the stars are proud of you. 

[hollowskies]

A Soft Suggestion:

Take a moment to straighten your back. Maybe roll your shoulders back, or tilt your head from side to side. Flex your wrists, or your toes. Scroll on ☆

[hollowskies]

i’ll kiss you enough to equate to the freckles that cover your face.

[hollowskies]

honestly bernie deserves a spot on the favourite people post (scheduled) im just too tired to put it in

[hollowskies]

omg i just realised that i think tatum is the only one who knows this is my blog??? which means this is competely anon so when those posts post there will be much confusion tis i the greatest loser :') honestly anyone who sees this should know me well enough to know im me

[hollowskies]

People I Love

this is not really a list but is just general groups who have had big impact on my life everyone in bhs bands that whole group who used to play cards in big picture like everyone who ever joined in i appreciate you all so much everyone from the old line chat and all the skype memebers and my entire extended family on mums side :')

[hollowskies]

and im sorry for not saying anything!! its harder than youd think to say "i smell like simon"

[hollowskies]

bernie thank you so v much for talking to me til now (12:30) you made things so much better and i appreciate your existance so much thank you thank you thank you for everything xx