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hollyjjangu · 7 years

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Okay, holy shit wow. I’m so sorry. This is not only late but depressing. I didn’t mean it to be either. I sorta wanna do two more parts for this (like a three shot) since I had lots of ideas writing it! Idk, ma deud, tell me what you think.

On another note... it’s admin artemis’ bday tomorrow and i wanna gift her with 100 followers so please follow if you already aren’t!

- admin bellona *:･ﾟ✧ ♡

Living forever is a long lived human dream. Who would wish to die in a world where there are riches like these? Time; aren’t humans always wanting more of it? Isn’t that a good thing? Despite not knowing what death or dying feels like, everyone in this world fears it. Isn’t it a perfect solution if nobody can die?

But when you’ve lived a long, painful existence like Park Jimin has, you simply wish for what everyone fears. Nothing makes Jimin want to die more than the curse of not dying.

321 years in a place, no matter how large, is hell itself. This is especially painful since Jimin has wanted to die since he was 18. Death seems so much more pleasant than living.

That’s not to say his past 321 years has been all horrible things. There were short, satisfying bursts of beautiful clarity.

When Jimin was nearly 100 years old, he met a boy named Min Yoongi.

He was a gruesome, tired looking boy and he was Jimin’s first love. Yoongi was 353 years old when they met but looked like he was 25 or so. No wonder he was so tired. His hair was a darkening and pleasant gray tone, a little dry and fading but it still felt impossibly soft in between Jimin’s fingers. His body was littered with scars he obtained from his reckless and hot tempered tendencies, but Jimin still was attracted to Yoongi the way the earth is to the sun. Still gorgeous and beautiful and everything Jimin had been waiting for in his long, miserable life, no matter how terribly broken Yoongi was.

Yoongi loved Jimin like nobody ever did. Yoongi didn’t mind Jimin’s chubby cheeks, he thought they were cute and enduring; he eased Jimin into being comfortable with his body. Yoongi didn’t mind Jimin’s scars, he wanted to help the younger love himself than be disgusted that Jimin wore the evidence that he didn’t on his skin. Yoongi didn’t even mind Jimin himself, as a whole. He loved all of Jimin, Yoongi did. And Jimin has never been able to say that about anyone else before.

And of course, Jimin loved Yoongi; how could he not? Yoongi made the most alluring and beautiful of music, he had nearly 400 years of time to travel the world, to study all sorts of noises and melodies– of course Min Yoongi’s was completely unique. He knew everything that had already been done.

Even better, Yoongi gifted Jimin with a song every year on his birthday for the 37 years they were together. Those were the best 37 years of Jimin’s life. He suddenly didn’t hate living so much, he suddenly loved himself as well as Yoongi. He found himself discovering more and more about himself as he melted and drowned under Yoongi’s pretty piano fingers and low, raspy voice. Jimin told Yoongi he’d do anything for him and he meant it.

Those 37 years were also the last of Yoongi’s life.

When you’ve lived as long as Yoongi, you’re bound to make some enemies, deadly and dangerous ones if one lived like Yoongi did. He burned brightly but that just meant he was quicker to go out.

It was people Yoongi had known in Japan, decades ago. They kidnapped the both of them.

Yoongi had been the subject of affection of a young girl, who had fallen in love with him. But Yoongi only stayed in Japan for several months and studied piano music with the girl. Little did he know, the girl’s brother was a leader of a powerful gang.

How could he have known?

It’s ridiculously rare, but sometimes, nearly never, when one falls in love with another and they disappear, not die but disappear, one falls to insanity. It’s a harsh loss, rejection. In a world of living forever, the only thing worse than life was being crazy and alive.

And that’s what happened to the girl and her brother was out for revenge.

“Leave us alone.” Yoongi had said, holding a gun (that Jimin didn’t know they had) in his hand. “Get out of our fucking apartment.”

The man grinned. “No.”

Jimin lost track of the conversation when Yoongi and the boy began rapid firing Japanese. He could pick up small words he learned from watching animes like “baka”.

And then everything went black.

When Jimin woke up, there was a gun placed nicely in his hands.

Everything was fuzzy, like static screens and dark, like night. Jimin’s hair felt wet and he realized it was from his own blood. Jimin’s immediate thought wasn’t the fact that he couldn’t seem to move his legs or that the gun was bitterly cold against his skin, it was Yoongi.

“Jiminie.” A familiar voice said.

No, it wasn’t just a familiar voice, for Jimin didn’t need to hear it to recognize it. Jimin would know that noise anywhere. Underneath the sounds of screaming waves, over the highest mountain on earth; it didn’t matter. Jimin would swim to the bottom of the ocean, would climb every mountain on earth to find it. He had all the time in the world, after all. It was the love of his life. It was Yoongi. It was always Yoongi.

“Jiminie.” Yoongi said again. “You’re awake.”

“Yes.” Jimin whimpered. He did not hurt from his head or his legs, he hurt from the shakiness and choking in Yoongi’s words. “Are you alright?”

“Fine.” Yoongi said. Lies. “Shoot me.”

“W–what?” Jimin stuttered. “What? No!”

The thing with soulmates and immortality is this: the person you love holds more than just your heart, they hold your life in their hands. If one wishes for the nothingness known as dying, only their true love can gift them with it.

“Jimin, please.” Yoongi’s voice was shaking. “Please do it. For me.”

“For you?” Jimin stuttered. He felt his heart slow down, nearly to nothing. There was nothing before Min Yoongi and there certainly would be nothing after. “How could that possibly be for you? I’m not hurting you, Yoongi-hyung! I love you– I owe you everything! I can’t just–”

“Turn the lights on, you bastards. Let me see him.” Yoongi was–

The lights turned on.

Yoongi was crying.

The room was filled with men, beady eyes and cruel grins. All Jimin wanted was Yoongi.

“Yoongi, please, whatever they want–”

“They want one of us to die, Jiminie.” Yoongi whispered.

Tears were streaming down his face shamelessly. That was the most beautiful thing about Yoongi: his shamelessness. He loved things shamelessly, even if he loved few things. He loved photography shamelessly, he took a picture everywhere they went. He loved their dog, Holly, shamelessly and would cuddle with him often. He loved music shamelessly, not afraid to admit it’s one of the few things he’ll always have.

And Jimin. He loves Jimin shamelessly, pridefully, like it was an honor to have Jimin with him. Jimin was suppose to be like music, Yoongi was suppose to have Jimin forever.

“We have guns! We can–”

“There’s only one bullet in there kid.” Someone said. “You’re outnumbered.”

“Please.” Yoongi whimpered. “I–if you don’t, they–they’ll force you anyways. A–and if I’m gonna die, I want you to kill me.”

“I’m the only one who can kill you, idiot!” Jimin found his voice raising as tears began to roll down his face. “They can’t make me do anything!”

“Jiminie, they’ll force your hand. Please.”

“Why can’t I die then?”

Yoongi shook his head. “Because I can’t.”

“What? Kill me? And you think I can do that to you?”

“I can’t.” Yoongi repeated.

“I fucking can’t either!”

“Look kid–” A man started moving toward Jimin, a gun in hand.

“Step the fuck away from him!” Yoongi screeched, the first time he’s raised his voice. “Get the fuck away! I said let me do it!”

The man backed away.

“I said I can’t okay?” Yoongi repeated, glaring but Jimin saw through it. Underneath his cold, malicious eyes, Jimin knew Yoongi loved Jimin.

“What do you even–”

“I can’t!” Yoongi screamed again. “I can’t live without you, alright?”

“Yoongi–” Jimin choked his screaming back. He was still dizzy from the blood loss and fuck he still couldn’t feel his legs.

“No! I can’t okay? You say I’m the stronger one, but I’m not. You are! I won’t last without you! I can’t spend another four hundred years fucking miserable out of my mind! I can’t spend the rest of eternity without you! Get that through your idiotic, thick, brain!”

“I–” Jimin gasped for air, unable to breathe. “I can’t live without you either, Yoongi. Don’t do this to me, I can’t–”

“You’re beautiful.” Yoongi whispered. “And you’ll fall for someone else soon. There’s going to be someone without me.”

“There’s nothing without you, Yoongi!”

“As much as I hate it.” Yoongi shivered, stepping closer to Jimin. There seemed to be an unknown electricity surrounding them and the closer Yoongi came, the more Jimin seemed to die himself. “I want you to find someone after me. Make sure he’ll hold you like I did, make sure he’ll sing you songs and have a dog as nice as Holly with you and let you cook him shitty eggs. Make sure he’ll love you as good as I did. Please.”

“Yoongi–”

“I don’t care. You aren’t dying. You once told me you’d do anything for me. Do this. Kill me and keep living. And then move on.”

“I– please Yoonie…” Jimin whimpered helplessly, calling him a name that Yoongi despised. “D–don’t make me.”

“Kill me.” Yoongi says. “If I die in your arms I’ll die happy.”

Yoongi was all of a sudden in front of Jimin without the younger noticing. He was smiling a gentle smile, the one he reserved just for Jimin, the one that made Jimin feel like the most beautiful boy in the world, the one that made Jimin want to live.

Shameless. Yoongi was so shamelessly in love with Jimin.

Jimin crumpled to the floor, sobbing and sobbing and sobbing. He was so fucking angry. Angry at the Japanese girl and her brother. Angry at Yoongi. Angry at the world. Angry at himself.

Jimin loves Yoongi so much, so much that he’d do anything for the boy.

Even this.

He would bare the burden of loneliness for all of eternity, because it’s what Yoongi wanted.

“Shh.” Yoongi said, petting Jimin’s hair back the way he liked and Jimin savored his touches because hell, when will anyone ever touch him again like this? With Yoongi’s piano fingers? “Baby, please don’t cry.”

“I love you.” Jimin said into Yoongi’s chest. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“I know.”

“Let me see you one more time, Yoonie.” Jimin requested.

Yoongi tugged Jimin away.

And he was so beautiful it hurt to look at him.

His hair was no longer a fading gray but a deep black, slightly curly just the way Jimin liked it. His skin was still pale but softer. He was still as glorious and gorgeous and perfect as the first day Jimin saw him. He was still everything Jimin ever wanted, everything Jimin could ever want.

“I love you.” Yoongi smiled, pressing his forehead against Jimin’s. “I love you and these past 37 years has been the best of my life and I’m so incredibly happy. Thank you, you’ve made me so happy. The fact that– that you’ll do this for me. The fact that you’re willing to suffer for an unknown amount of time for me makes me so incredibly happy. Thank you so much for loving me Park Jimin. I’m so sorry.”

“I love you.” Jimin whispered. “I love you. Anything for you.”

“W–will you sing for me? As you do... it?”

“Yes.”

“Here.” Yoongi moved the gun over his chest, right at his heart. “It’s perfect. This beating box in my chest isn’t mine anyways. It’s your’s. My heart– it’s always been your’s Park Jimin. Take it. Please sing to me. Sing the first song I gave to you.”

“Ojik neo hanaman boyeo/na ojik neo bakken anboyeo.”

“Your voice has always been so beautiful.” Yoongi smiled against Jimin’s lips and breathed their song in.

“Bwa gongjeonghaji gongpyeonghaji neohante bbaegon da/ijen dan harudo neo eobsineun please.”

“Please sing more, when I’m gone.”

“Kkwak jabajwo nal anajwo/can you trust me, can you trust me, can you trust me/kkwak kkeureoanajwo”

“Take care of Holly, he always loved you more than me.”

“Kkwak jabajwo, nal anajwo/can you trust me, can you trust me/jebal jebal jebal kkeureoanajwo.”

“And don’t forget to eat every meal, Park Jimin. You don’t need to lose any weight. You’re perfect.”

“Yeojeonhi neoegeseon bichina/yeojeonhi hyanggi naneun kkot gata.”

“Or I’ll come back as a ghost to haunt you.”

“Ije nareul midojwo dasi nareul jabajwo/neoreul neuggil su ittge nareul kkeureoanajwo.”

“Don’t forget what I said.”

“Neo eobsin sumeul swil su eobseo nan/neo eobsin amugeotdo anya nan.”

“That there will be someone after me. Make sure they love you like I love you.”

“Dachil mameul yeoreojwo nae simjangeul jeoksyeojwo/neoreul neuggil su ittge nareul kkeureoanajwo.”

“I love you. Please do it.”

Jimin pressed his lips against Yoongi’s once more.

“I love you too.”

And with his hands in his first love’s, in his arms, Park Jimin pulled the trigger.

ha. haha. i cried writing this. i want to write a part 2 and 3 so badly, but only if you guys want me to! inbox us if you want a part 2!

please follow us! we’re trying to get to 100 by tomorrow, for admin artemis’ birthday!

- admin bellona *:･ﾟ✧ ♡

#yoonmin #min yoongi #major character death #soulmate au #bts #admin bellona #jimin centric #bts fic #yoonmin fic #bts fanfics

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