honestmegsvsg-blog

[honestmegsvsg-blog]

First Up!

After YEARS of struggling with my weight and trying EVERY tool in the box (including a weight loss reality TV show) I made the hard decision to go through with bariatric surgery; gastric sleeve to be specific.

On my 33rd Birthday, I told myself I’d give it one super hard, last go and if I didn’t see the results I wanted, then I’d make the commitment for surgery. Well, I did give it a true go and lost about 15lbs in one year. So, I met with my doctors and went through insurance and surgery was 7/17/2018.

Day of surgery I cried the entire time, all the way into the surgery room. I was terrified of this life change, anxious for my future and mourning the “loss” of foods I so loved. I am a lover of food, good food. I don’t like processed crap, at all. I love fresh, delicious food. My problem was I just ate way too much of it and couldn’t control myself with portions. Instead of 2 small street tacos, I’d have 6. Instead of 1 decent sized summer salad, I’d eat enough for 3 people. My husband was diagnosed with cancer and going through chemo, and I have a 3 year old daughter that I’m determined to stay healthy for. I thought of all these things as they wheeled me back to the surgery room.

I started this blog because everything I read about this surgery makes it sound like a true miracle/no regrets/life is amazing stuff. But, it’s not. It’s hard, I struggle daily. The first 30 days was miserable. Everything that hit my stomach caused instant pain. Horrendous digestion issues (like, not doing your business for EIGHT days straight—that’s real) and just the mental game your mind plays on you. I lost 20lbs in the first two weeks. Then didn’t lose ONE pound in 3 weeks. Apparently stalling is normal. Something I wish I would have known so I could have better prepared. Now, it’s slow and steady; roughly 2-3 lbs a week. Which is way more than what I was losing without surgery.

The hardest part for me now, at 1.5 months out and past the soft food stage and all that, is finding my food routine. Trying to navigate cooking meals at the right sizes for myself and family, not over ordering at dinner and just generally being ok with taking a few bites and being done while I watch my husband and kiddo continue to eat. Eating was such a huge part of my social life, so the adjustment has been depressing.

I’m also starting to beat myself up because I am already cheating. What does cheating look like? For me, having wine and drinks when I was told to not even think about it until 6 months out. I also feel like I’m not eating as clean as I was pre-surgery. So, this blog is to get my thoughts out of my mind and bring some accountability back. I’ve got goals, and I don’t want regrets.

My stats:

Highest Weight (HW): 302

Weight day of Surgery (SW): 272

Current Weight (CW): 245

Goal Weight (GW): 175

Two month weight loss picture is due 9/17.