honeyhoneysdiary

[honeyhoneysdiary]

Compass event - School Flooding

23-2-24

The last two weeks have been...eventful! to say the least haha.

To start out with what is arguably the most important thing; the school flooded, and I was there to witness it.

Around two weeks ago, the day after the last entry, actually, this massive storm went over my area, and combining the heavy rain with the strong winds at the time, it created this mini cyclone that kind of destroyed a chunk of my hometown; Including teh school.

Honestly, something like this happened two years ago, when the roof caved in after a storm, but it was literally nowhere near this level of destruction; The storm destroyed half of the roof, carpets and overhead lights on the top floor, and put about twenty classrooms out of commission for the foreseeable future.

It all happened while I was in a period six psychology class after school on Tuesday, and everyone was freaking out about the rain they could see out the window; I kind of thought we were going to die too, but that wasn't the point. The rain got so bad, that the school had to declare it an actual emergency, and all of the students still on the premises had to report to the downstairs foyer to make sure we were all safe.

While that was happening, the upstairs floor was getting fucking demolished, and much to everyone's delight, my politics teacher was taking videos of it! It kind of looked like a swimming pool.

The worst part was that since they had to classify it as an emergency, we couldn't leave without a parent coming to pick us up, and we couldn't go upstairs to grab any of the stuff in our lockers.

My locker was upstairs, and in it were my housekeys (which i needed to get into my house.) and my phone, which I needed to call my parents about the emergency. Neither of my parents were in town anyway, so I had to plead to my year level coordinator about getting to walk home, which they finally let me do after they realized the rain wouldn't start up again for at least an hour. I swear, my politics teacher was like ten seconds away from giving me a lift home himself lmao.

My house was pretty much fine, but a tree landed on the part of the house where the powerlines meet the building, so once we got power back two days later, it kept cutting in and out until we propped the branch up a bit with a ladder.

Honestly, I was stressed out of my mind, but it was kind of fun.

My first SAC this year is either next Friday or next Tuesday; I'm not sure which, because my psych teacher hasn't organized it yet.

ALSO, the final dnd session of this campaign we've been running since I was twelve is tomorrow, and I'm so exited fgdhsj. I get to read out my characters last will and testament, because they died last session, and they get to come back as a demon or something in this session!

I'm a little worried, though, because dnd has been one of the only constants in my life since before I was a teenager, and it's been the thing I've latched onto for stability and warmth for years - I'm worried that I'm going to fall apart when it's over.

Some of the days realisations;

I need to study.

I should probably go for a walk or something; I haven't gone outside in a while.

I need to eat a vegetable.

That's all for the day! the week's been... fine! That's really all I can ask for!

-honey, <3

[honeyhoneysdiary]

Dead poets society

12-2-2024

Every now and again I go through this phase of feeling barely anything aside from boredom and uninterest; it sounds cliche and I can acknowledge it very much is, but sometimes i wonder if this 'phase' every few months is really a phase at all, but instead a constant that I forget about every no and then due to distractions like school work and my friends.

I've been going through this kind of 'everything is dull' phase recently, or at least for the last week, and there are a couple of things I've done to try and remedy it so far;

I've developed a crush on somebody at school; they're taller than me and their smile is so pretty.

I re-watched Daisy Jones and the Six, because the ending of it made me cry the first time I watched it.

And I finally got around to watching the Dead Poets Society.

The Dead Poets Society worked; I was genuinely bawling my eyes out, because what do you mean Neil Perry actually died??? He was so full of life, he had so much passion for everything around him and he killed himself because he was just completely unable to do anything with it.

It's left me with this haunted feeling, I think, the feeling that a tiny part of me is going to be forever thinking about this movie, just like when I read the Secret History and My Family and Other Animals for the first time.

But I suppose it did the job; for a while I felt so utterly devastated that I forgot how bored I was.

The crush kind of worked too, but I'm afraid that I accidentally messed that up by telling my friends about it... You see, the two friends I told about it were very varying in their responses, but one of them in particular was super enthusiastic about it, and it just kind of... I'm not entirely sure how to put this, because 'ruined it' sounds harsh, but ever since I told them, the nervous butterfly feeling in my stomach when I talked to the person I have/had a crush on before doesn't come back. I genuinely can't think of a reason this would change anything, because I like talking about this kind of thing with my friends, but I think crushes might just be the kind of think I should keep to myself in the future.

School today was alright! I had a free period in the morning so I didn't have to show up until 10am which was fun, and my politics teacher's made a collaborative spotify playlist for the class! (The catch is that all of the songs have to have a link to politics in some way, which is very fun omg.)

The vague downside of school today was that my team lost the 'socratic seminar' thing we were doing in english today, which, in my opinion, was actual bullshit because the bell went just before I could say my point. I'm not going to elaborate on this because it lowkey ruined my whole day, and I did not recover until I get home.

Some of the day's realisations:

I need to get better at public speaking.

I haven't quite managed to become un-suicidal yet, which is unfortunate.

I need to update my suicide note.

By writing this, I missed the 11pm news recap (damn).

I love the oh hellos omg.

While I can admit that today wasn't the best, I have faith that tomorrow will be better!

-honey, <3

[honeyhoneysdiary]

last first day of school (omg)

Today i started year twelve, which means that this was my last first day of school ever.

I thought I would be a lot sadder about this than i actually am; whenever this type of thing happens i turn into a nervous wreck and get really upset after its finished, (when my history teacher left the school a year ago I bawled my eyes out on his last day, for example.), because the fact that it's literally never going to happen again is an idea i hate trying to comprehend. I get consumed by this weird sense of loss when something ends, kind of like grief, but more like a physical sensation, a vague nauseating feeling that doesn't go away for at least three days.

I think the reason i'm not super sad about it is because I haven't quite sat down to think about it yet... actually, as i'm writing about this I can feel reality sinking in. I hope the reality doesn't set in when I need to study for a SAC, or during a SAC, god forbid.

But otherwise, school was fun! I love my friends and I love to learn, so I'm optimistic for the year ahead! That being said, it was the first day, and our year-level coordinator messed up the locker assignments (She doubled up a bunch of lockers.) but the first day back is always busy for teachers so i hold no ill will, despite the fact that my locker was one that was doubled up; I was, unfortunately, exiled to the lockers on the other side of the room, but it's okay, because so was one of my friends, and the boy i tried to convince myself i had a crush on last year to cope with my own internalized homophobia.

Since we're in year twelve now, we get to 'live' in the year twelve room at school, and it has a microwave, kettle, and sink, which is cool. It also means we get to leave early if we have a free period in the afternoon, and since I had one, i got to!

I went for a walk after school to preemptively stop myself from being sad, and because dndads updated and I wanted to listen to last week's teen talk and the new episode at the same time. It was one of the long walks where I walk past half of my friends houses and then follow the train line for five kilometers, so I had plenty of time to both fight off the overwhelming sense of melancholy that comes with getting older, and listen to the new dndads episode :).

Actually, i'm very happy that i'm getting older because i'm starting to love being alive.

Some of the day's realisations:

I love the Saturday night live soundtrack, i should watch the movie.

I need to get better at talking to people I don't know very well.

I need to study for politics more than I did last year.

I'm very excited to see my best friend tomorrow, because she starts a day after I did and i missed her :)

Overall, it was a pretty good day! I hope the next one is even better :).

-honey, <3