hoonieyun - Tumblr blog

hoonieyun · 20 hours ago

Text

just drooled on my keyboard

From muscle memory?

Synopsis: a teasing confession turns into a filthy, full-body surrender... starting with his arms.

Word count: 1.7k

warnings: smut (MDNI), established relationship, Soft!Dom Sunghoon, mutual Desperation tbh, Bicep Worship (literally), Breeding Kink (Light), size kink (light), praise & possession, overstimulation, bodily fluids (grinding, tasting), "use me" energy (respectfully), she's just a girl standing in front of his bicep…

a/n: this is a request from me while I'm on my period. i can not focus on anything if i don't write this silly shit down, not a single cell in my body was serious while writing this. Enjoy this nonsense while I finish some other stuff I'm cooking up. Anyways, hoonceps <3

⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯⌯

Ever since you two have been together, everything has felt instinctual: quiet morning and evening routines, shared bed and pillows, in-sync bodies without a second thought. He knows exactly how you take your coffee; you can spot the lie ‘I'm not tired’ in his exhausted eyes before he even tries to hide it. You know his body like second nature — how it moves when he walks, when he smiles without realizing it…. when his cock twitches when he’s about to come in or on you — it's all burned into your muscle memory.

Lately, though, things have felt charged. Maybe it’s the way he’s been training more — his body leaner, stronger, denser. His biceps practically mocking you every time he wears those sleeveless tanks. Maybe it’s the tension from all those nights you’ve spent curled up next to him, craving more but not asking.

Literally one blink, and suddenly every shirt in his closet looked way too tight on him. Every top was stretched and bursting to its limit, struggling to contain him.

Tonight you found him fresh out of the shower, sitting on the edge of the couch like he owns the world. His gray sweatpants hang low on his hips, a little loose from the day’s training, and a towel drapes casually around his neck, damp strands of hair still clinging to his forehead. His bicep flexes absentmindedly as he scrolls through his phone, the subtle movement making your breath hitch more than it should.

You watch him from across the room, heart thudding a little too fast. It’s getting unbearable, now — this ache you can’t quite name, this pull toward him that’s been growing all evening. No, all fucking week.

He looks up, catching your gaze with those warm, dark eyes that seem to soften your insides instantly. A genuine smile tugs at the corner of his lips before he pats the bed beside him like it’s the safest place in the world. “Come here, baby,” he says quietly. “I’ve missed you.”

You cross the room, making your way towards him, your nerves still tangle around each other in the way only a long-term love can stir — it's proof that years together haven’t dulled anything. When you sink on the couch next to him, his stupidly solid arm snakes around your waist — firm but soothes either way. You lean in, your cheek resting against his full chest, breathing in the clean scent of soap mingled with the subtle musk of his skin.

But even as you savor the closeness, the flutter in your chest refuses to quiet, and you can’t stop the restless shifting beneath his arm. It's mostly your thighs impulsively rubbing, erratically. He notices instantly, brows knitting together in concern. “Hey… what’s wrong? You’re fidgety.” His voice is laced with gentle worry.

You hesitate, heart pounding as you search for the words, then finally blurt out, “Hoon… I’ve been thinking....”

His hold tightens around you, fingers pressing into your side, encouraging you to keep going. Like a silent promise that he’ll listen and understand. “Yeah? What are you thinking about up in that pretty head of yours?”

You take a shaky breath, eyes flickering to his face. “Y’know, like…” you start, voice small and unsure.

He quirks a brow and nudges your side with a finger. “Mh? What ‘like’?” His tone is soft, but there’s that spark of mischief in his eyes that makes your cheeks heat up.

You squirm a little in his arms, fingers tracing lazy circles on his chest, trying to buy time and think about how to bring it up. “I don’t know how to say it. It’s just… you.”

He raises a brow as his lips twitch into that slow, knowing smile. “What about me, baby?” He asks, playful. His hands settle on the plush curve of your hips, fingers curling like he already knows the answer but wants to hear it from your mouth.

“Hoon, come on…”

He chuckles softly, warm breath tickling your hair. “I’m serious. I don’t have a crystal ball with me here, baby. You gotta tell me.”

“It’s stupid.” You mumbles into his skin.

“Try me.” He murmurs, a little closer to your ear now — tender, patient.

Your fingers trail up his arm before you even realize you're doing it, seeking comfort in familiar terrain. Your palms glide over smooth, heated skin, still warm from his shower, and your nails lightly scrape along the thick veins that stand out along his bicep.

You take a deep breath, your hands now trailing up his whole arm. Your nails slowly drag on the veins that popped from his hot shower. “Been thinking… maybe you should stop wearing those tanks around me.”

He raises a brow, cocking his head with that familiar shit-eating grin. “Why?” Oh, this little fucker knows.

“Because your arms are making it really hard to not jump you, Hoon.”

“Oh? So what’s stopping you?” he has the audacity to tut, like you’re being ridiculous. He opens his arms wide, shoulders broad, chest rising with a quiet dare. Like he’s inviting you to crawl into him and never come back out.

Before you can overthink it, you grabbed his arm and secured it the place you wanted it in. You slide one leg over his arm — the dense, familiar muscle flexing beneath your smaller hands — and then the other leg, settling yourself carefully. The feeling is electric: warm, firm, impossibly strong beneath you, and utterly yours to ride.

The pressure is intoxicating.

Your thighs are trembling where they straddle his arm — his bicep flexed slightly, thick and already glistening under your poor puffy cunt. He knows exactly what he's doing to you, of course he does. He built this physique just for you to break like this.

"You’re this desperate for my arm?" He teased, his free arm kneading the lush of thigh, guiding your hips as you grind down harder on the thick swell of his muscle. "You could’ve just asked, baby."

But you can’t even answer, not right now. You're too far gone — every roll of your hips sending sparks through you from your clit. The tension in your lower belly coils tighter with every pass and drag you rock over the hard curve of his bicep, skin on skin sliding wet and sticky. “That’s it, baby… take what you need.” He cooed into the palm of your hand before kissing it.

He bends his arm deliberately, forcing your hips to sink lower, your soaked folds dragging over the thick curve of his bicep again. You gasp — a raw, needy sound — as the pressure hits just right, deep and unrelenting. “Such a needy little thing,” his own voice was rough, breath curling hot against you. “Fucking yourself on my arm like it’s the only cock you’ve ever known.”

You whine hopelessly, nails scraping down his shoulders. His skin, once clean, is now sweat-slicked while his muscle continues to flex hard and then relax beneath your weight — and it’s too much. Too much sensation, too much tension, too much of him.

He watches you jolt as his bicep flexes again, a slow pulse of muscle that forces a moan out of you — one of those high, broken ones he lives for. Your eyes roll back, your hips stutter with your mouth. Everything in your brain goes fuzzy from the sheer, overwhelming co-stimulation of his flexing and the bent arm.

“Fuck — Hoon, I-I can’t —” You whimper, the words tumbling out, more plea than protest. “Oh, you can,” he breathes, so soft, so sure. One of his hands is on your back now, big and steady, coaxing you to keep going. “You’re not even trying to stop, baby. Look at you.”

He tightens his grip on your hips, forcing you down harder. “Go on,” he murmurs, possessive now, “use it. Make a mess."

You’re past words. Your fingers claw into his back now. You're close — too close — and he knows it. “You want my arm? My cock? my fucking soul?” You nod, frantic, desperate eyes land on his dark ones.

You look adorable to him in this state, he can't help but smile, “take it, ma. It’s all yours.”

You don’t even realize you’ve cum until the shaking stops and your vision clears. Your thighs are trembling, dripping with your pussy clenching around nothing. Sunghoon just watches you — chest rising slow while his arm is slick and absolutely drenched in your release.

You try to move, to climb off him on shaky legs but he doesn’t let you go far. His hands curl around you once again and lift you, settling you across his lap to keep you close. “You’ve got me coated in you, babe,” he mutters, voice rough, hungry.

He lifts his arm — the one you’d just been riding into oblivion. Your slick shines on his skin, catching the light in thick, glistening streaks. He stares at it like it’s art before he slowly drags his tongue across it — from the bend of his elbow all the way to the peak of his flexed bicep. “Fuck,” he groans, licking his lips like it’s honey, “sweet… and so fucking sloppy.”

You throb at his praise, hips twitching where they rest on his lap. You’re already spent, body sensitive and overstimmed — but the way he tastes you like that, the way he talks to you… it ignites something in you all over again.

He leans forwards, pressing you gently back into the couch cushions. You sink beneath him, your breath catching as he shifts above you. One of his hands slides down to your thigh, coaxing it open, then the other. He looked as ruined as you do — jaw tight, lips parted, pupils blown wide, eyeing you down like he’s about to rewrite your body’s definition of pleasure.

His fingers stroke up your thigh. “Let’s see…” he says, voice low and lazy, like he’s just getting warmed up.

His fingers move to his belt, unbuckling with one hand. The sound of leather sliding free is sharp in the silence, making your breath hitch, “how many times you can do what you just did…” He strokes himself once, hard already with a bead of pre-cum on the tip, before lining up at your entrance — not pushing in yet, just resting between your needy folds, cruel but promising, “but on my cock now."

#kiki diaries #kiki recs #to read #nsfw mdni #MINORS STAY AWAY #berry i love u #this is gonna be so scrumptious #sunghoon come here

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hoonieyun · 1 day ago

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just like old times ₊ ⊹

pairing: choi beomgyu x reader genre: brothers bsf!beomgyu, childhood friends to lovers, romance, fluff, right person wrong time warnings: profanity, kissing, jungwon is yn's brother, smoking weed, drinking alcohol, yn is a bit self destructive, mentions of depression and declining mental health, mentions of underaged smoking and drinking, mentions of using a fake id, some self deprecating jokes, friendly banter and teasing, mentions of losing virginity and a blowjob but not very explicit, kissing and suggestive jokes, 18+ not proofread lol

synopsis: joining your brother and his friends on a summer weekend trip after your breakup wasn't on your list of things to do as you try to get over your ex. another thing you didn't have on your list was reuniting with your brother's best friend who has just returned from studying abroad for the last 5 years.

wc: 7713

there weren’t a lot of consistent things in your life.

your parents were divorced so it was a new bed you were sleeping on every weekend. you had mood swings that you couldn’t even begin to describe, and days melted into night as quickly as you’d blink.

similarly, you weren’t very consistent either.

it felt like time was moving without you and no matter how hard you tried to catch up, the goal post was constantly moving, so when your boyfriend of 3 years, the one consistent thing in your life you had ever known, broke up with you because he felt like you were dragging him down; the lack of consistency in your life transitioned into being the only consistent thing.

the fact that things were so unpredictable, so everchanging, and so inconsistent, made them consistent.

“yo, you coming? bin’s here with the rest of the guys.” your brother called, leaning on your doorframe as you laid on your bed, headphones snug over your ears as you listened to the playlist your boyfriend– ex, had made you.

you catch a glimpse of jungwon from the corner of your eye, “what?’ you ask, slipping one side off.

“the guys are here, come on.” he says.

jungwon was your little brother but with the way he was so wise and mature, you’d think you were the younger one. when he heard of the breakup, he kind of saw it coming, he had never really liked your boyfriend. why? no specific, jungwon would said, “just bad vibes, man.” and at first you’d just laugh it off but eventually his words rang true.

he was bad vibes, indeed.

the break was fast and only hurt for a short amount of time. like a bandaid being ripped off as you hyped yourself up for the moment and when it’s done, all that is left is a slight sore feeling that lingers, most of the time a scar from the wound.

your brother had invited you to a little summer weekend trip to help you get over your ex. in all honesty, you were kind of looking forward to being home alone while your brother was gone but he wasn’t going to leave you alone in the state you were in. it wasn’t in your plans to even go out any time soon, hell, the breakup was only a week ago and you were planning to become a recluse until god knows when– maybe when summer turns into fall, but jungwon wasn’t having that.

so that’s how you found yourself slinging a weekend bag over your shoulders, just some beach clothes and random items to keep yourself occupied so you wouldn’t really have to socialize with your brother’s friends. they weren’t bad but they were boys and you didn’t really wanna be surrounded by so many men but jungwon promised you that it’s “super chill. just treat the guys like they're girls, they treat you like a sister too.” he said with a cheesy smile that you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at and smile back.

when the two of you walked through the door and into the summer air, you’re met with a warm but comforting breeze– it hugged you in ways that provided comfort when comfort became unfamiliar. you stopped to take a breath in, steadying and ground yourself, as you waited for jungwon to finish locking the doors.

“come on, lets go!” he says cheerfully, patting you on the back and dragging you towards the baby blue van that soobin was driving. jungwon and his friend’s called it the cloud machine for a few reasons, one being because it was blue like the sky and two because when they all turned 21, it became their go to place to smoke and hotbox.

you wave to everyone as the car door slides open, soobin in the driver’s seat with heeseung sitting shotgun, the two of them arguing about what song to play next and that heeseung needs to focus on the GPS instead of the AUX.

taehyun and sunoo were in the back, an empty seat in the middle of them that your brother jumped into.

and in the two seats that occupy the center of the van, on the seat furthest from you, sat someone you had never thought you’d ever see again.

beomgyu.

your brother’s best friend that moved away all those years ago. the same boy who used to tease you for wearing glasses or the fact that even though you were older than jungwon, you’d still ask him to watch scary movies with you. beomgyu the boy who you smoked with for the very first time at the age of 16 years old, introduced you to all time low, and had a messy mop of hair that usually covered his eyes.

that very same boy was now sitting in front of you, smiling at you like no time has passed, only it did. so much has happened in the 5 years beomgyu was overseas and you truly didn’t think you’d ever see him again. you knew that your brother and the rest of their friends still kept in contact with him, they’d play games late at night on their computers but you didn’t know he was going to be back– let alone be on the trip.

“hey you.” beomgyu says, a smile on his face, a shade of pink lightly dancing on his cheeks as he extends his hand to you, offering to help you into the van– but you don’t take it. you decide to grab onto the handle by the seat in front of yours to help you into the van, lugging your bag with you and dropping it into the space between your seat and his.

“hey..” you swallowed, doing your best to avoid eye contact.

“alright! everyone buckle up! road trip rules, we’re going to stop by the store first to grab snacks, better make sure to use the bathroom there because we are not stopping.

taehyun–” soobin says, looking at his friend through the rearview mirror, to which taehyun��s eyes widen.

“do not, and i repeat, do not! throw up in my car this time. or else i’m leaving you on the side of the road.” he warns and taehyun rolls his eyes. “dude! it was one time, let it go..” taehyun argues but this just irks soobin even more.

“one time my ass! you’ve thrown up in my car at least 3 times now– four! actually! the time we went to the club last semester.” soobin adds.

“you guys took this car to the club?” you ask teasingly, everyone sheepishly looks away and you find yourself laughing at the idea of your brother and his friends pulling up to the club in a baby blue van.

“yeah, it was hilarious. taehyun had to stick his head out the window and sunoo was comforting him while soobin yelled about the vomit” beomgyu says, slightly leaning in to provide the explanation. you look at him a bit weirdly, considering he knew the story but you were so sure he was overseas when it happened.

“you were there..?”

beomgyu shakes his head, “no. he was on discord with us the whole ride home.” jungwon says from the back after tapping your shoulder. “buckle up, yn.” he adds and you realize you hadn’t fastened your seatbelt yet.

you struggle to get the buckle into the hole due to the state of soobin’s van. it was old, not too old that it was a safety hazard to drive around, but old enough that things like the seatbelts being difficult and the window only rolling down 4 inches could classify it as somewhat of a relic. it gave it charm though, soobin always referred to the van as his baby, it was always your brother and his friends plus the cloud machine.

they were kind of like scooby doo and the rest of the crew in some ways.

beomgyu notices you struggling to buckle your seatbelt so he decides to help, his hands, soft as ever, gently brushing over yours as he takes the buckle from your grasp, pulling it gently and locking it in with a click. when you look up at beomgyu, his gaze is already fixed onto yours.

“um.. thanks.” you muttered, quickly turning away to slip your headphones on so you could just ignore him the whole drive there. you glue your eyes onto the seat in front of you, finding interest in the different patterns woven into the seat as heeseung’s hands drummed onto them, all the while, beomgyu’s eyes don’t move from their position on your face.

watching you and taking in all of your features.

it’s been 5 years since you’ve last seen each other and you were more beautiful than he could remember. the pictures you posted on your instagram didn’t fully capture your beauty. in all honesty, beomgyu was pretty shocked when jungwon mentioned you tagging along. he was nervous to see you again after how you two left things but he knew that if he was going to pick up where things left off, he couldn’t be a coward.

beomgyu smiles at you, lips fixed into a pout as you scrolled on your phone to look for a song to listen to– and just like how you didn’t notice beomgyu’s gaze and warm smile, he didn’t notice the narrowed expression of your brother as he observed the energy between his best friend and older sister.

۰ ۫

at hour two of the road trip, you’re awoken by jungwon frantically shaking you, followed by the screams of his friends. “yn!! wake up! we’re about to crash!” he says and his words don’t even process in your brain because you’re more upset that he woke you up.

“what?” you ask, sliding your headphones off and everyone is just staring at you.

“wow. the car could’ve been crashing and you wouldn’t give a single fuck.” heeseung says from the front seat and you just glare at him, sleepiness heavily weighing on your eyelips. “is this what you guys woke me up for?” you mumble, trying to wipe the sleep away from your eyes with your sleeve.

“no, we’re taking another pitstop because sunoo needs to pee.” jungwon adds.

“yeah, he has the bladder of a chihuahua.” taehyun says as he steps out of the van through the other door– sunoo just playfully shoving him in return. “you coming?” jungwon asks and you stretch your neck around a bit before answering.

“no, im good. i’ll stay in here.”

“oh– i’ll stay too then.” beomgyu chimes in and everyone stops momentarily before continuing what they were doing, hoping that neither you or beomgyu noticed their reactions. “okay, just text me if you want something from inside.” jungwon says before sliding the door closed and joining the rest of the group as they head inside of the store.

you really hoped beomgyu would’ve gone with them because you weren’t ready to be left in a space alone with him– hell, you weren’t even ready to see him let alone spend the weekend with him at some beach house that soobin found. the air between you and beomgyu is thick. you considered striking up conversation so it wasn’t awkward but you ultimately decided just slipping your headphones back on and trying to go back to sleep.

“yn, how’ve you been?” he asks.

shit.

you turn towards him as you were in the middle of slipping them on, eyes blinking rapidly as you tried to come up with an answer. how were you? well, let’s see. you got dumped by your boyfriend because he basically saw you as a burden and you haven’t really processed any of that fully before you were whisked away by your brother to attend a weekend getaway with the boy you’ve had a crush on since you were 6 years old that moved 5 years ago and now is suddenly back.

“m’fine.” you simply put even if you weren’t.

beomgyu saw right through that but because it’s been so long since you’ve last spoken and considering where you left off– he wasn’t sure if he should pry. “i’m good too, by the way.” he adds and you realize you hadn’t even asked him how he’s been.

“sorry– um. i’m glad you’re doing well. it’s nice to have you back…”

beomgyu smiles at your words, eyes closing like they usually do when he genuinely smiles at something– god, that smile. you hadn’t seen it in so long. you saw it through the random photos you saw on instagram, but your ex hated seeing you like and leave comments on beomgyu’s pictures so he had you unfollow him and you stupidly obliged.

“when did you get back?”

beomgyu readjusts in his seat so that his body was facing you, leaning his head on the headrest of his chair. “last night actually, i told the guys to schedule this trip next weekend so i could adjust to the jet lag but you know soobin– his ass doesn’t listen.” the two of you laughed at that because it was true. soobin was stubborn, not in the bad way– at least most of the time it wasn’t bad, but he typically just did what he wanted because why not.

he was the term, “fuck it, we ball.” in human form. that’s how your brother and his friends usually found themselves in sticky situations. the first memory that popped in your mind was when they were all freshmen in college, too young to buy or drink alcohol but felt like they were all hot shit because they got invited to a college party– the only gripe being it was byob and none of them had even been inside of a liquor store before.

but soobin had a ‘genius’ idea. he somehow acquired a fake id, his alias being “alvin lebron” and because soobin, your brother, and the rest of their friends were all eager to make a good first impression as college freshmen at their first college party, they encouraged him to walk into the liquor store with confidence only to be turned away by the shop owner after getting his fake id taken away and cut up into several pieces in front of him.

beomgyu wasn’t there because he had already been away for 2 years when it happened, but you knew he would’ve been down for their stupidity if he was there.

“yeah.. sounds like bin.”

and soon the awkward silence was back. you so desperately wanted to melt into the seat, you had barely enough time to process your feelings about your ex and the breakup and now you were being forced to process what happened with you and beomgyu all those years ago. it was easy to get over what happened because he just moved and you didn’t have to see him.

out of sight.

out of mind.

but now, he was sitting next to you in soobin’s van; hands in his lap and eyes fixed on your face as if you were going to disappear at any moment and he wanted to be able to take in how you looked now just in case he’d ever forget.

although he’d never.

“look, about that night– it’s fine, gyu. we don’t have to talk about it." you interrupt.

“no, but i want to. it’s not fair that– god! taehyun this is the 3rd store you’ve gotten us almost banned.” beomgyu gets interrupted for the second time when the door on his side of the car slides open, you brother and his friends approaching with bags in their hands; a frustrated soobin fumbling with his keys.

“what happened?” you ask.

sunoo goes on to explain that taehyun had vomited in the middle of the drink aisle and they had to call several staff to come help clean up after they were instructed to, “check out then please leave.” by a small elderly woman who looked like she was entirely done with the shenanigans of the five boys.

“i told you to stop eating takis and redbull on an empty stomach…” sunoo mumbles as he moves to his spot in the back of the car, taehyun following after with a pout. “but.. it’s yummy.”.

the rest of them settle back into their seats, the arrangements still the same as when you first got into the car. “here, got you this because you’ve been dehydrated from all those tears.” jungwon says, tossing you a bottle of bright blue gatorade. beomgyu’s eyes follow the bottle as it flies through the car and because he’s a bit worried that you won’t catch, his hands reach out for the bottle; hands wrapping around the plastic at the same time yours do as you both find yourself now holding onto one another’s hands.

the sudden physical contact startles the two of you so you both pull away instantly, the bottle of gatorade dropping onto the floor as a result. you just stare at one another for a moment before jungwon breaks the awkwardness between you, “uh.. here. you dropped it.” he mumbles, picking the bottle off the floor and putting it in your lap.

you mumbled a small thank you before fixing yourself back into your seat, headphones snug around your head once again as you try to forget the weird interaction with beomgyu– just another reason for you to regret going on this trip.

۰ ۫

thankfully, for the last few hours of the drive you’re able to sleep through it all without your brother trying to prank you or any more awkward moments between you and beomgyu. the music blasting in your ears helped with clearing your mind and although it was somewhat loud, it put you to sleep.

it’s late in the afternoon when you finally arrive at the place soobin had found for all of you to stay the weekend. it was a small but quaint home with two floors that was just 10 minutes from the beach. it had lush green grass and tall trees that stretched into the blue sky. you were pretty impressed with soobin’s decision and so was everyone else.

that was until you all walked in and realized there were only two rooms.

“soobin, you idiot.” jungwon scoffed as they all dropped their bags into the living room to decide what the room arrangements would be, typically it would’ve just been three to a room but since you tagged along, now making it seven– there’d be an uneven amount of people in each room.

it also doesn’t help that you were the only girl and jungwon’s sister because he instantly turned on brother mode by saying, “alright, none of you virgins are sharing a room with my sister.” as he pointed to all of them with a narrowed glare.

“i will have you know i’m not a virgin!” heeseung adds and everyone rolls their eyes.

“a blowjob where you lasted under 3 minutes doesn’t count.” sunoo scoffed.

“okay, then HALF a virgin.” heeseung defended.

“try a quarter.”

“or an eighth even.”

they all took turns teasing heeseung as you and beomgyu stood to the side laughing.

“won, it’s fine. it can just be you, me, and beomgyu.” you added.

“yeah! it’ll be just like old times.” beomgyu says, picking up his bag off the floor with a smile as he went to the room you three would be sharing. his words echo in your head and you find yourself questioning it. would it be just like old times? like when beomgyu would come over and spend that night at your place, doing his best to hang out with both you and jungwon even though he was technically jungwon’s friend and not yours.

jungwon would even claim that you were trying to steal his friend but beomgyu would always defend you which was typically always followed by a teasing remark. in retrospect, beomgyu only teased you right after defending you because he didn’t want jungwon to know he had a crush on you.

“come on, let’s go before beomgyu gets his outside clothes on the bed.” jungwon says, tapping your shoulder as he picks up both of your bags. the other four were still in the living room arguing over who got to sleep on the bed and who’d be sleeping on the floor as you followed jungwon.

you found beomgyu already laying on the bed, in his outside clothes, so jungwon scolded him– slapping beomgyu’s ass to get him off. beomgyu releases a small ‘ow’ before hopping off the bed, rubbing his ass in response. “what was that for!” and jungwon laughs at him.

“for getting your dirty outside clothes on the bed! go change.” he says and beomgyu just rolls his eyes. “glad to see you’re still a little clean freak.” beomgyu snorts as he opens his bag to grab a new set of clothes. “not a clean freak, you’re just grubby bro.” jungwon responds as he takes out some things from his bag, his toiletries, a manga he’s been reading, a speaker, and a small metallic box that you didn’t even need to ask the contents of.

“you seriously brought weed? what if we got pulled over, soobin would’ve killed you if the cops found that.” you scold and jungwon waves you off like it was nothing. “nah, they’d never. the cops would find me too cute.” he says after putting his things on the vanity in the room.

“yall wanna smoke tonight?” he asks and beomgyu perks up.

“hell yes! i haven’t smoked in ages, the weed overseas was ass.” he adds as he slings a shirt over his shoulders.

“what about you, yn?” beomgyu asks. he knows your answer was probably going to be yes since you’re quite the stoner. you did introduce the idea of smoking weed to him and it eventually trickled into the friend group, all of jungwon and his friends becoming potheads as they became older.

“uh.. not sure.”

“what? thought you were like a stoner, what happened?” he asks, walking a bit closer.

“her stupid ex happened– won!” you say, throwing a stuffed animal at him that you had just pulled from inside your bag. “did you seriously bring mr. giggles with you?” jungwon asks, referring to the stupid yet oddly cute plushy of a blobfish. you had named it mr. giggles because it always managed to make you laugh. the animal was just so ugly that it was cute and laughable.

“yes, i did. now give it back.”

“only if you smoke with us tonight.” and you roll your eyes in defeat.

“fine– now give it.” you say, snatching it back as jungwon and beomgyu bump fists in celebration.

“yo, we’re gonna go check out the beach. who’s coming?” heeseung asks, popping his head into the room. the three of you glance around at each other before responding. you shake your head, telling heeseung that you were too tired and would just stay in for the rest of the night while jungwon says he’ll go just as he’s pulling out beach shorts from his bag.

“gyu? you coming?”

“uh.. yeah, i’ll go.” he answers.

the boys all finish getting ready for the beach as you’re putting away all of the things they had bought from the store to fill the fridge for the weekend– most of it just being instant food and a bunch of alcohol. “did you guys seriously need to get 3 cases of beer?” you say, huffing as you struggle to put the last case in the fridge.

“heeseung’s idea!” sunoo says matter of factly as he plops onto the couch. they leave after just a few minutes, taehyun and beomgyu arguing over something stupid most likely. jungwon gives you a small hug before leaving, telling you to call if anything happens.

“won, i’m older than you. you need to call me if anything happens.”

“yeah, yeah– you’re the crybaby between us siblings. i’ll see you later.. and stop listening to that sad music! it’s only gonna make you sadder.” he says as he slips through the door, not giving you any time to clapback. you check the time after putting the last of the food into the fridge, it was almost 5pm and although it was starting to get somewhat late, you chose to take a nap anyways.

you changed out of your clothes and into something a bit more comfortable before falling onto the bed, wrapping the blanket around you and letting your eyelids flutter shut– hoping to get a bit of sleep before the boys got back, a bit afraid that the chaos around jungwon and his friends would prevent you from getting any sleep later that night.

۰ ۫

“i’m leaving tomorrow.” his words leave a hollow feeling inside of your chest. the words made complete sense to you, however, they weren’t computing inside of your head. like it was some foreign language that he was speaking, although he didn’t stutter his words were unclear and all you could do was stare back at him– lips slightly parted.

beomgyu stares back at you, eyes lightly wavering as he waits for your answer when his mouth slightly opens but he doesn’t manage to get anything out. like he, himself, was stunned at the words that had just come out of his mouth.

“please say something..”

you find yourself slowly shaking her head, eyes narrowing at him in clear disbelief. “what do you want me to say beomgyu?” you scoff. beomgyu tries to reach for your hands but you quickly pull away before he could even touch you– like you were almost repulsed by him even though just moments ago you and beomgyu were sharing a tender moment together.

“are you mad at me?” his voice was small— quiet mixed with anxiety and guilt.

“what do you mean you’re leaving?” you manage to say as you try to fight back the tears.

beomgyu goes on to explain that he was accepted into a music school overseas, the one he had been talking about since you were a lot younger. he hadn’t even told you that he applied, he always just talked about it, dreamt of going to a music academy– it was all just talks of his dreams.

and suddenly it was reality and beomgyu’s dream was taking him away from you.

“it’s only for five years– five years? gyu– beomgyu so many things can happen in five years.” absolute shock in your voice as he tries to explain with himself.

“i know but we can talk on the phone, video call, whatever— i’ll make it work.”

you shake your head in disagreement. what you and beomgyu had– although it wasn’t much– was something the two of you found special. it was like two people who had found each other when they didn’t know what they were looking for or that fact that the ‘what’ was actually a ‘who’.

“how are you going to make this work when we don’t even know what to call this? whatever we have– this.. this… i don’t even know what to call it!” you were frustrated. the one person who had shown you consistency was disappearing from your life. of course, you had your brother jungwon but he had his own life to worry about and you weren’t going to burden him with your own personal issues– but beomgyu?

the boy you had met as a toddler, your brother’s best friend, and the one person who was your comfort growing up was going to be moving away just as the two of you were finally getting somewhere in this weird relationship you two had that consisted of stolen and bashful glances, concealed hand holding under the blanket during movie night at sleepovers, and your very first kiss.

۰ ۫

a low humming wakes you from your slumber, eyes blinking open as you try to adjust to the light in the room, looking around as you begin to process the dream you just had. it wasn’t really a dream, more of a memory that often replayed in your head. that memory hasn’t replayed in your head for the last few years– you tried your best to forget the memory alongside the boy sewn into it, but with beomgyu’s return, the memory of your last night with him did too.

not that you knew it was going to be your last night with him.

when the humming gets louder, you remember that the sound was what woke you up from your sleep. you looked around the room again to find where the humming was coming from and you found your eyes landing onto the window in the room– it’s pushed open and the summer breeze is wafting into the room.

your body follows the sound and as you poke your head through the window, you see beomgyu. he’s laying on the roof of the house, eyes glued to the stars in the sky– you didn’t even notice it was much later now. how long were you asleep exactly?

“just gonna stare? or are you gonna join me?” he speaks up and you realize that you’ve just been staring at beomgyu and he’s already taken notice of your presence. beomgyu sits up right and moves towards you as you begin to step through the window, extending his hand towards you to carefully pull you onto the roof.

you take the spot next to beomgyu as you both settle onto the roof, the tile rough and gritty but so was life and you’ve learned to just deal with it.

“when did you get back? is everyone here?”

beomgyu shakes his head, “nah. decided to head back because i was getting tired. they were all still in the water trying to drown sunoo.” and you laugh at the thought of the boys chasing sunoo around so they could carry him and throw him into the cold beachy water. “saw you sleeping so i came out here so i wouldn’t bother you.”

you turn your head towards him and he does the same. “why didn’t you just lay on the couch or something?” beomgyu looks to the side as he thinks to himself, unsure why he chose to come out onto the roof instead of staying in the house and laying down on one of the couches downstairs. he just shrugs and you teasingly roll your eyes at him.

“you know– it’s just like old times. when we’d sneak onto the roof late at night when won has fallen asleep so he doesn’t see us together.” you pause momentarily when beomgyu’s gaze intensifies. not in a way that intimidates you but in the way that you can see the image play in his head, like he was flipping through an album of photos inside of his head that consisted of every instance the two of you spent time on the roof.

“i missed that…” you muttered as you turned to go back to gazing at the stars.

beomgyu, however, still is looking at you. again, like he wanted to take in every feature that you had, looking for something new in your face that could’ve appeared in the time he was gone. your lips were just as he remembers, eyes remained soft and still reflected the stars like no other, but your face had new lines on them– specifically around your mouth.

his lips quirk slightly at the idea of your smile lines appearing, a sense of comfort builds inside of him knowing that while he was gone, you were still smiling and still laughing. still enjoying life and wasn’t letting your last night with him cause you too much distress– although he knows it did and couldn’t feel any more guilty over the sorrow he may’ve caused you.

not to mention, your recent breakup that he learned about from jungwon who spent 2 hours on discord bad mouthing your ex, even going as far as asking soobin to hit him with the van. they all had to talk jungwon down from doing something he might regret to your ex but don’t be fooled, beomgyu was just as angry.

so angry that while he was away, all he wanted was for you to be happy and although he knew you weren’t happy when he left– he’d hoped you found happiness elsewhere, but that ex of yours just had to break your heart in all of the places where his departure in your life left cracks.

all he could do now was hope he could piece it back together.

“can you stop staring at me?” you pout and beomgyu laughs, acting like he was just caught in the act but he wasn’t trying to be subtle at all. he hasn’t seen you in five years and he wanted nothing more than to take in every part of you, afraid that you’d leave the way he did all those years ago. beomgyu knows that fear of his is irrational considering he was the one who left you– but he couldn’t help but feel like now that he was back, you were slipping away.

“do you hate me?” he asks, sitting up and looking down at you as you stare at the stars.

you don’t answer right away, choosing to count how many stars you could find in the night sky.

thirty six.

after you finish counting the stars, you pull yourself up and reach back into the room through the window and beomgyu furrows his eyebrows at you, trying to understand what you were doing. you come back out with jungwon’s weed box and you set it in between your legs as you begin to light up a joint. “what? this conversation is probably gonna get heavy— might as well be high for it.” and beomgyu can’t help but agree.

you stick the rolled up paper between your lips but before you could reach for the lighter inside of the box, beomgyu reaches for it first and moves closer to you. eyes settled on your lips while you look up at him. he brings the lighter closer to your lips, clicking it a few times before a flame ignites between the two of you as he lights the joint nestled in your mouth.

a bright ember spreading across the tip of the joint as you take a slow and deep inhale.

beomgyu smiles as he watches you, nodding as you exhale while, face just a few inches from yours; so close you could feel his breath on your skin as he waits for his turn to hit the joint. your eyes haven’t left his and you can see that his gaze hasn’t wavered from their position of looking at your lips.

beomgyu swallows as he licks his lips and just before he speaks, you pull the joint from your lips and move it towards him as a way to break the tension. he laughs at your actions, like you were attempting to edge him and keep him on his toes. he knows you could feel the fire between the both of you but for now, the joint passing between the two of you would suffice.

“i don’t hate you…” you pause.

beomgyu places the joint between his lips and takes in a slow breath, “although, i wish i did.” and it makes him cough up a storm and you can’t help but laugh at him.

“you never could hold the smoke very well.”

“come on, that’s not fair. you just said you wished you hated me.”

you shrug at him, thinking about the truth behind your words. you did wish you hated him, you had confessed to him that you liked him and had liked him for a while and to your surprise, he told you that he feels the same way. he had pulled you in for your very first kiss, not only with each other, but your first kiss with anyone.

the moment was straight out of a romance movie, it was night time and the two of you were sitting on the rooftop outside of your bedroom window similar to how you were now. the night sky was filled with stars and caramel by sleep token was playing quietly from inside of your room– jungwon long asleep so neither of you were worried about getting caught.

and then, he kissed you so sweetly as the lyrics

So stick to me Stick to me like caramel Walk beside me till you feel nothin' as well I'm fallin' free of the final parallel The sweetest dreams are bitter But there's no one left to tell

sung throughout the night.

which was ironic in a lot of cases because although the moment was like a dream that was as sweet as caramel and you wanted nothing more than to stick close to beomgyu, the very same dream turned bitter as reality soon settled when beomgyu told you that he’d be leaving and you had no one to tell of the heartbreak you had to go through alone as beomgyu flew thousands of miles away from you.

“i tried to hate you. i was so angry and alone, i wanted to hate you so bad, but i just couldn’t. you held such a special place in my heart— still do– and no matter how many times i’d look at your photos or would hear you screaming through jungwon’s headphones i’d roll my eyes and scoff, i just couldn’t bring myself to hate you.”

you sniffled, taking the joint back from him that was still burning and taking a puff before continuing. smoke pouring out of your lips as you offer the joint back to beomgyu. “i looked for you in everything after that day. in the music you introduced me to, in the way won and the rest of your friends would laugh— hell even in my ex.

probably why it didn’t work out and he felt like i was dragging him down. i wasn’t necessarily ready to be in a relationship and being in one only made me feel like i was filling that void with something meaningless because…

because i truly couldn’t find meaning in anything without you there.”

the joint was now reduced to the butt, just a small and shriveled up clump of paper. “god, i’m high as shit and sobbing about a relationship that didn’t even happen– you probably think i’m pathetic.” you say, wiping the tears off of your face but beomgyu was quick to reassure you that he didn’t think any less of you, if anything he liked you even more.

“i never stopped thinking about you.” you raise your head when those words leave his lips, tears continuing to pool in your eyes. “i even cried on the flight after leaving. you don’t understand how hard that was for me and it ate me up inside to know that i just left you like that.

i felt so selfish for wanting to go to this damn school so bad that i didn’t realize i’d be leaving so much behind… you.

i thought about you everyday, i’d refresh your instagram in hopes you would post a new photo and then one day that picture with your ex appeared and i thought i had lost my chance. that you had moved on and i lost you to someone else… but i was just happy to see that you were happy— although now i know you weren’t.”

“yeah. that guy was kind of an asshole.” you and beomgyu share a laugh at your comment and find yourselves sitting in silence once again, only this time it’s a comfortable silence. there was no longer this tension between the two of you where it felt like silence was fragile and if speaking what was on your mind could cause it to shatter.

no, this tension was filled with passion, an irresistible magnet faced towards each other that feels so close but not just quite.

“this might be a long shot but… do you wanna give this a try?” beomgyu asks and you swallow the dryness in your throat, smoke having coated the inside of your mouth; now wishing you had brought some water with you before starting to smoke.

“should we? do you want to..?” you ask, looking up at beomgyu through your lashes and for a second the face of the boy you had fallen in love flashes across the face of the boy you were staring at now. still the same, still a bit strange but still the same boy you fell in love with. “i want to give it a try more than anything, but i’m determined to make it work. long as you’re happy.”

you smile at him and beomgyu smiles back because as you saw the boy he once was, he saw the girl that you are when you smiled at him and it warmed his heart to see you smile like that.

“you think won is gonna be upset we smoked his weed?” beomgyu asks and you purse your lips at the thought but shrug it off, telling beomgyu that you were older anyways and jungwon wouldn’t even have this weed if you hadn’t linked him with your plug. “you really turned all of us into stoners, huh? we weren’t even old enough to smoke yet when we shared our first joint.” beomgyu adds as you both recall that night.

it was your first time smoking ever and of course, beomgyu was there. jungwon was too scared to smoke but beomgyu knew better than to leave you to do it alone. the experience wasn’t bad in the slightest and you found yourselves getting high off just one joint, your inexperienced bodies finding tolerance against the weed but eventually failing.

“you know— when i was away and i’d try to find weed amongst my classmates, someone brought up this little kid from indonesia who used to smoke a shit ton.” beomgyu randomly mentions and you look at him with a confused expression, thinking about how it was definitely the weed talking.

“no– listen. okay, so in indonesia, there was this kid who would smoke like 40 cigarettes a day, crazy i know, but he lives a healthy and normal life now so i guess everything is good. i guess i’m only bringing this up because like… it’s like us.

we were in a kind of weird spot, not as weird as a toddler chain smoking but weird enough that we couldn’t even give what we had a title but now, little by little, we’re getting to a place that’s a lot better. something normal and healthy– the best part being that we have each other.”

beomgyu speaks earnestly and from the heart, his words–although a bit strange– was meaningful and he meant every single thing even if it came off as weird but you understood every single bit of it and it only made you grow more fond of him.

“you’re high as fuck, huh?”

and a wide sheepish smile spreads onto his face as he nods.

in the time that you and beomgyu spoke and cleared the air between you two, he found himself inching closer and closer to you, so close that his hands found themselves resting over yours. “can i–” he says, stopping halfway through to clear his throat.

“can i kiss you?” and you nod as your eyes fall onto the curve of his lips.

beomgyu inches even closer, lips merely centimeters away, “we’re baaack!” jungwon screams loudly from inside the room like he was trying to make it very evident that he was present in the slight chance you and beomgyu were doing something he didn’t want to see– although he already knew this was going to happen since beomgyu asked him for advice on the matter.

jungwon pokes his out through the window and he sees you and beomgyu pull away from each other and try to act nonchalant as if you weren’t about to just kiss one another.

“bro! is that my weed?” he asks with a pout and you tell him not to be a baby about it and that you’d just buy him some more when you went home. jungwon tells you that the guys all planned to get drunk and watch some movies for the rest of the night, inviting you and beomgyu to join when you finish with your “love fest” followed by fake gagging noises.

“by the way, i don’t care if you guys date… just don’t try to do anything while im in the room, i will burn this whole house down.” he threatens and you roll your eyes at your brother while beomgyu teases jungwon, “hey, i respect you too much as my best friend to do that… we’ll make sure to do it before you get in the room.” and jungwon fake gags even more as you playfully shove beomgyu with your elbow.

“whatever, come join us downstairs when you two are done being nasty. bring my weed too!” he says as he retreats back into the house.

you and beomgyu laugh at your brother’s silliness and can’t help but think he’s very serious about burning the house down if you two were to ever try to do anything with him in the room. “should we go join them?” you ask, beginning to pack up the weed into the box but beomgyu grabs your wrist, stopping you midtask.

“i’m serious by the way. i really want this to work and i’m going to do everything i can to make it work.” beomgyu says and you smile once again, the very same smile that you had when you first met beomgyu, the same smile whenever he’d crack a joke and you’d try to not laugh too hard, the same smile when he called you pretty, and the very same smile when he kissed you for the very first time.

beomgyu, the boy from your past who found his way back into your life, reminding you of all of the good things you two had shared and would soon experience again as if it was just like old times.

dedicated to @heejamas and @xylatox ♡

ᡣ•.•𐭩♡ @pagemiah @jiiyen @jnysaln @xh01bri @rairaiblog @laurradoesloveu @manaah02 @zorange13 @firstclassjaylee @kristynaaah @17ericas @heeseung64 @leipforggy @s1rawb3rry @ddeonuswife @orxngebloods @xylatox @saccharinezennie @izzyy-stuff @yooonjnng

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