horse-guillotine - Tumblr blog

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this is canon now btw

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house vs god epic rap battles of history

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Kutner: being one of the best characters on House and being oh so silly and everyone loves him, nothing could and should go wrong, we love Kutner

Obama:

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Okay if I was making films based off of One Direction fanfics, here’s what I would call them (in order):

The Harry Hookup

2Hot2Harry

Styles of Desire

4Play: Revenge of Zayn Malik

Fast 5Way

Am I cookin’, or AM I cookin’?!

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Honey, i shrunk the doctors again

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So please pay attention, attention!

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honestly for me this situation isnt drawing a single bead of sweat first i grab the tiger's jaw with both hands and pry it open, quickly bandaging the wounds i received (didn't hit anything important) and pushing the tiger away while simultaneously falling into my grizzly bear stance and watching as the tiger scurries away with its tail betweens its legs at the sight of my massive shoulder humps. i roar defiantly and catch three dozen salmon at the river

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Call Wilson party rock the way he's in the House tonight

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an itch that only blunt force trauma to the back of my head can scratch

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the sequel

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Wilson: House I desire you carnally

House: *Intense stare*

House: The cardinals… *Quickly runs to the patients room*

House: Do you have any Cardinal nests near your home?

Patient: *coughing blood* What?

House: Answer the question

Wilson: (standing alone) sigh

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An angsty AU for your consideration: Lex somehow stumbles across the black book and she’s so desperate to get out of their financial situation and make a better life for Hannah that she makes a deal. It’s a Miss Holloway-esque one except the only people who can’t remember her are Hannah and Ethan. She keeps an eye on them from a distance and sees Hannah having the happy, stable life she always wanted for her, but she never gets to be a part of it. Eventually she quits Toy Zone (it’s too painful because Ethan and Hannah make regular trips there) and starts waitressing at Miss Retro’s. Miss Holloway figures out whats going on with her pretty quickly and they bond over their similar situations. She convinces Lex to join her and Duke using the black book for good and saving as many people as possible and that’s what Lex spends the rest of her days doing. What else is she going to do with her time?

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“does grace have any weapons on her?”

“just jesus”

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CUTE BOY FROM CLASS WHO IS GROWING HIS HAIR OUT AND WEARING A HOODIE: thanks for helping me with my homework! hey um... is it okay if I tell you something important? you have to promise to keep it a secret....

SKELETON BALLING:

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I've held back from saying this for years out of fear of being ostracized, but I can't remain silent any longer: the The Centaur Fetish Art Community has a massive Russophobia problem