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THE SHMEEBY‼️‼️‼️ aka humanizing ren (emotional pressure cooker twink)

he looks so fucking neurotic here i love it

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*cools ur dashboard down*

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Just finished neon genesis evangelion

Shinji I could care about you I could be your friend and help you find out who you are I won’t ask for anything in return you don’t have to be of any value in any way 🙁

He’s so sad I want to make him feel better

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i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

hi pookster :’)

@epicb00knerd

tag game 🤭

rules: color the sentence that's true about you

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

this is a whole lot of yellow lmfao

no pressure tags: @marthawrites @schniiipsel @aemonddtargaryen @aemondsbabe @adragonprinceswhore @arcielee @black-dread @lovelykhaleesiii @aemondsbabygirl @valeskafics @connorsui

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decided to finally look up how to actually draw noses

there’s another drawing nearby featuring a gun but oh well better safe than sorry ig

HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GORGEOUS HAIHHSIBHBHISVUHSVUGSUVGDUGGDVGYGVW

notes to the side for his eyes

normal/conscious: kinda intense but understanding

dissociative: something is terribly wrong. run.

fun fact: his eyes are actually brown, but he either a). barely makes eye contact because people make him nervous or b). full-on locks eye contact and proceeds to stare into your soul with nonhostile intent

his eyes going black is just an artistic choice, just imagine his eyes are doing the thousand yard stare and/or blank

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it appears that despite my bests attempts to prevent this, my morbid curiosity has gotten the best of me and i have begun my descent into the dungeons of fear & hunger

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may i offer a Sebastian Solace pride flag in these trying times?

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idk im really tired of 15-17 year olds who have never interacted with the gay community irl and spend too much time on tiktok trying to act like the authority on all that is lgbt+ 

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alt vers. of a previous post w/ muzzle + collar

cw: blood

fun fact: i drew this at 1AM w/ night mode on so i changed the canvas to the ugly yellow for extra authenticity

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No child would want to receive such a violent inheritance

cw: slight blood

Takes place before canon, around when a client bleached his hair to scramble identity systems. He hasn’t grown out his hair yet here.

I need to revise the fanfiction

Plot in a nutshell: NERV finds a child soldier with ties to GEHIRN through their intelligence and brings him overseas as a replacement pilot for UNIT-02. There is something off about him, and he tries to find a sense of normalcy while handling the burden of piloting and… his unique set of skills. He’s certainly easier to approach— and control than Asuka, though.

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Press Z to dodge

cw eye contact, discussion of lore involving child soldiers, dehumanization and general abuse

My little he/him princess with a disorder and a special interest on the Alien franchise /hj

Added more lore for Bishop aka explaining his trauma

- Part Evangelion in order to better withstand having a S2 engine. This puts him under NERV property because he isn’t fully human, even though he was treated like one. This mostly explains some of his physical quirks. He has no biological (human) mother, and his ancestry is tied to the early forms of Unit-00. The experiment he was a part of was a failure, and his S2 engine is nigh useless besides allowing him to be more resistant to deprivation of needs than the average human. Also results in general uncanny appearance.

- Due to the fact his father went into a contact experiment, he was actually spared from being terminated. SEELE decided to send him off to an experimental conditioning facility for child soldiers to be hired in order to ensure that he could be easily controlled (Camp Genesis). Presence of a core allowed him to become a backup Tabris if needed. Spent a year at a catholic school in order to adjust back to being human before deployment to Tokyo-3. Something happened there that he refuses to speak about.

- Said conditioning can be compared to dog training but for humans. Canine behavior is a semi-unintentional result of conditioning, doesn’t really change anything but it irks his handlers because it’s what he’s used to. Also resulted in an ability to go berserk at will— usually manipulated by others, referred to as “The Hound” due to resulting in animalistic behavior (recorded as one of his personas, besides the “Soldier”— himself as the tool others want him to be, cold, unfeeling, obedient, and the “Lamb”— himself as a person, reserved, friendly, and somewhat playful). He is experienced in combat due to training scenarios, in-fighting, and work “on field” (temporarily purchased as a human attack dog/mercenary/bodyguard/cannon fodder). NERV has purchased him permanently, but he is working as a pilot under the threat of being sent back to Genesis (hence his “I can’t run away” vs. Shinji’s “I mustn’t run away”).

- During his stay at Genesis, wore a collar, slept in a relatively large crate, walked on all fours, and fought others for scraps (food— usually some sort of raw meat or MRE). Sometimes spent days outside in a combat zone where he learned to specialize in using guns or other weapons. Wore a muzzle on the field unless required to remove someone. Just used to being in shitty situations, with a side dish of trust issues, and a taste for raw fish. Has a strange kinship with Pen-Pen.

- Easily attaches to others if they initiate connection, and desperately seeks approval (especially from trainers and handlers). This made him very well behaved and well liked. Has befriended other “soldiers”, doesn’t know their real names (nicknames prevented snitching), and one of his handlers. Said handler would leave items such as bandages or books. Once left a cassette of the film Alien, one of his most prized possessions.

- I need to write more about Camp Genesis because it is an interesting concept to me, not to mention it’s meant to churn out expendables for hire to make profit. Part of NERV’s budget comes from dead kids. Also every time I look at his character I keep seeing the id/ego/superego imagery everywhere. Damn you, Freud.

- His current handlers are Misato, Ritsuko, and Gendo. Misato has been given the task of overseeing his training to allow him to use his abilities to full capacity, and is the most irked by his behavior; she occasionally checks in on him or tries to get him to talk about topics that aren’t related to NERV. Ritsuko is effectively his medical provider who is tasked with making sure he’s sane and healthy (and able to fight). Probably the most stable mother figure he has in his life. He doesn’t fear God as much as Gendo, who is his superior, not really his handler but will occasionally invite him out to dinner at a formal restaurant where they speak about matters at NERV. In reality, he ensures his loyalty to NERV, and is very cold towards him. Also takes interest in him because he’s a lot like Rei and Shinji (and it makes Bishop want to squirm).

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something about this drawing irks me to the nth degree

cw: blood, eye contact

Just came out of another art block, and I may have experienced a bit of change to my art style. He is not holding that lamb properly, but it’s the most heavy handed foreshadowing I have for him (holding a lamb with a bloody muzzle— the wolf in sheep’s clothing— close to his chest).

This time, I added additional adjustments to Bishop’s design in regards to recent lore updates.

Bishop Areli patches:

- Barn owl and canine imagery

- Scars from glass are less visible

- Mouth noticeably wider than a normal human

- ~13% Evangelion DNA

- Hyperdontia.

- More prominent eye bags (like me irl /hj)

- Slight hair adjustment to be smoother

- Eyes are usually hazel. Appear pitch black in dark environments or if dissociative

- Kaworu Nagisa situationship + parallels

- Shitty posture

- This isn’t that important but very questionable chest binding methods because I don’t think he would realistically be able to get his hands on a pullover binder without having to scour the entirety of Japan (he doesn’t have the energy) or asking Ritsuko for guidance (he would rather put a gun in his mouth).

- Hesitant pianist (hasn’t played in years, put off taking lessons) and good artist.

ALL IN ALL: SO I GAVE HIM A FIXER-UPPER (my son who questionably resembles a Mandela catalogue alternate)

mini playlist of songs i associate with him and reasons why

i already listen to this song daily, and find the song to be an interesting double edged sword, where the singer both fights against an authority, but also submits to it. a lot like bishop, who wants to resist, but can’t because he knows the consequences. this is also on shinji’s SDAT player within the AU, and is his connection with him.

this plays a lot for him, especially as he ends up in some very high-stress situations. not to mention the intro is all piano. insert analysis here.

this is bishop’s comfort song, from his father’s very own walkman. very whimsical song that doesn’t fit the dark themes of the story. it has a very medieval, fantasy vibe which resonates with some of the deeper themes of NGE. he doesn’t like talking about his music taste (because he has to bring up his father).

i listen to more yaelokre than what is healthy, but it gets the creative juices flowing. not to mention the chorus of “bata, bata, wak kong matakot, isagaw at sumayaw ikay umikot” reminds me of how bishop would try to support the pilots and his inherent worship of them because of how he feels like an outsider due to being not only unit-02’s replacement pilot, but a pilot of unit-02 beta, being in Asuka’s shadow and not a “true” pilot.

This song is mostly for the vibes, the guitars in this song just kinda fit his character

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*explodes into LCL* /pos

@epicb00knerd

@cosmorom

favirote moots?

(People you tag have to reblog and say their favorite moots)

Okay wait

@ibrokeurheartbcuzubrokemine @foliverfalls @allyeilishh @addisonraesbaby @emiliesblohsh @bilsslut @noodleswashere @bilsbabyy @bitchesbrokenpromises @billsdollie

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happy pride month, NERV

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anno must be rolling in his grave right now

some children yearn for the mines

i yearn for the evangelion