how-am-i-the-lucky-one

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me: *accidentally isolates myself from my friends and disconnects from online communities*

me: whered all my besties go

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How can ants have farms? They’re too small to control the chickens and the pigs

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tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row

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matching couple shirts that say "bearer of the curse" on one of them and ,"the curse" on the other

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me: *forgets friends birthdays*

me: *confuses memories*

me: *forgets own middle name*

me, also: hey did you know that all pennies minted prior to 1982 are pure copper pennies and not copper plated and are technically actually worth 2 cents

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Watched a kid in line ahead of me at the store get rung up and the cashier said “your total is 18.41” and without missing a beat the kid said “ah, the year I was born” and the cashier stopped and was like “I’m... sorry???”

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Me *leaves a pile of assorted jorts in the woods*: for the werewolves

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im hot

H ard to love O bnoxious T errible

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i am indifferent towards your shoelaces

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