howler518

[howler518]

God of War: Ragnarok

[howler518]

a dad, a boy and their two dogs

[howler518]

[howler518]

GOD OF WAR RAGNAROK November 9, 2022

[howler518]

HOWLER WAKE UP NEW TRAILER FOR GOD OF WAR DROPPED LETS GO GET HYPE🏃🏻‍♀️✨

OH MY FUCKING GOD SAW IT

I HAVE NO WORDS

♥️♥️♥️

literally stole my breath I was crying and screaming and was not okay

I have so many thoughts I want to share as soon as I can form a cohesive thought

[howler518]

Treatment Diary 2/12

Well, one round done and five more to go! I definitely felt better knowing what to expect this time and the actual treatmend day itself went smoothly and low stress. Post treatment the exhaustion stars to kick in around day three but thankfully Ive had a lot of time to make my place super cozy for the kitty and I to hunker down for a few days. Usually around day 7-8 I start to feel energized again so we’ll see how it goes this time!

My hair is beginning to thin a lot already and very suddenly. In a mad rush to enjoy my hair while I have it I dyed it platinum and I wish Id done so sooner! I love the look and its a small way for me to exert control over a situation I dont have much control over. Im not sure how I feel about wigs, I’d have to find one I really like!

Calypso has been the light of my life these days while my husband is at work and I am so grateful for her company. This silly kitty definitely keeps me sane.

Treatment Diaries 1/12

Hi friends! So I have started chemotherapy, and my course of treatment is going to be every two weeks for about 6 months. And BOI it has really kicked me in the ass. My mouth felt like I'd eaten a cactus, my body felt like I got hit by a truck, and my hair has already started falling out. It's been scary and surreal watching my body go through this process. I'm not in control and it's been very scary. Being highly in control and being highly independent is definitely a part of my own trauma so to let go of the reins and allow people to take care of me and allow people to help me has been really difficult.

I've decided to also defer my decision for school for 6months- a year. It's been a really hard decision because I've really wanted this but I just wouldn't be able to do it as I am now. Grad school is hard even if you're a healthy person. It's definitely a part of my trauma to never want to admit I can't do something so it's been a tough decision. I think it will be for the best though and this time will allow me more space to really enjoy the things I love and focus on healing while preparing for grad school next year. I think I might teach myself to code and use some other platforms or something as more of a hobby so I can still engage in game development and get more experience before I start school. I want to give myself lots to do as well since I'll be off work. I want to write, play games, make games, share stories, and have fun with friends and family since these next few months are going to be really hard.

Anyway this has been a post. I think I might share a diary every week that I have treatment.

[howler518]

Meet my new friend Calypso 😘🏝🧜‍♀️🐈‍⬛

[howler518]

Treatment Diaries 1/12

Hi friends! So I have started chemotherapy, and my course of treatment is going to be every two weeks for about 6 months. And BOI it has really kicked me in the ass. My mouth felt like I'd eaten a cactus, my body felt like I got hit by a truck, and my hair has already started falling out. It's been scary and surreal watching my body go through this process. I'm not in control and it's been very scary. Being highly in control and being highly independent is definitely a part of my own trauma so to let go of the reins and allow people to take care of me and allow people to help me has been really difficult.

I've decided to also defer my decision for school for 6months- a year. It's been a really hard decision because I've really wanted this but I just wouldn't be able to do it as I am now. Grad school is hard even if you're a healthy person. It's definitely a part of my trauma to never want to admit I can't do something so it's been a tough decision. I think it will be for the best though and this time will allow me more space to really enjoy the things I love and focus on healing while preparing for grad school next year. I think I might teach myself to code and use some other platforms or something as more of a hobby so I can still engage in game development and get more experience before I start school. I want to give myself lots to do as well since I'll be off work. I want to write, play games, make games, share stories, and have fun with friends and family since these next few months are going to be really hard.

Anyway this has been a post. I think I might share a diary every week that I have treatment.

[howler518]

How are you feeling? I wish you the best ♡

Hello friend! I am doing pretty okay so far! I just started chemotherapy on Thursday and its got me feeling a little off but nothing too severe. I am so grateful for all the well wishes and support Ive been receiving. Thank you! 🥰😘♥️

[howler518]

Update:

I found out that I am Stage 2 which was really great to hear I was so worried that it had progressed to my bones but thankfully the bone marrow biopsy came back negative.

I am starting treatment this week! I am really anxious and scared to begin, I dont know how my body is going to react. I have been trying to think of ways to stay creative and stay positive during this journey and I had been thinking of a way to intertwine my experience into my story.

We know that Faye becomes sick with some mysterious illness and I was thinking what if this was a kind of cancer? Just thinking of another way to write more of myself into the story and connect more with Faye. I really want to keep writing and work on my projects to keep myself sane during this ordeal.

Hi friends,

So I had some big life news happen thats going on in my world lately and I wanted to update you all and honestly if anyones gone through something similar I’d love to hear your story.

I’ve been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. I dont know what stage or sub-type yet but its been pretty scary and I know this is going to be a hard chapter of my life for my family and I.

Im not sure how to feel right now the news is still pretty fresh and Im still waiting to hear back from my oncologist but I’d love to chat with anyone about their journey and keep you all posted.

Howler

Xo

[howler518]

Such a mix of emotions this week but I also found out I got accepted into grad school for game design! I dont know how going to school will look like during treatment but I think it will all work out well and Im excited :)

[howler518]

Hi friends,

So I had some big life news happen thats going on in my world lately and I wanted to update you all and honestly if anyones gone through something similar I’d love to hear your story.

I’ve been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. I dont know what stage or sub-type yet but its been pretty scary and I know this is going to be a hard chapter of my life for my family and I.

Im not sure how to feel right now the news is still pretty fresh and Im still waiting to hear back from my oncologist but I’d love to chat with anyone about their journey and keep you all posted.

Howler

Xo

[howler518]

Favourite thing: When a character finds out just how badly someone they care about has suffered and you can see the immediate shift from shock/horror into a fierce, protective anger.

[howler518]

A secret rendezvous in the castle halls! 8) 

[howler518]

A 4th century CE statue of Aphroditos. Her cock wards off evil spirits. Reblog to rid your blog of evil spirits.

[howler518]

The Kraken

[howler518]

Another thing on the endless list of things I’ve noticed from replaying and re-watching cutscenes from God of War is how absolutely terrified Kratos is now that Faye is gone

Him leaning into the last tree that Faye marked for him to cut down. Looking down at the pouch of her ashes and just barely holding back tears. Talking to himself and pleading with Faye after the fight with Baldur, telling her he’s not ready to raise Atreus alone and doesn’t know how to make the journey without her. Calling out “come back!” to her when Atreus pulls him out of the light in Alfheim. 

Like, he’s keeping his shit together for Atreus by just shutting down completely. So much so that it triggers the conversation they have on the boat where Atreus accuses him of not caring that Faye just died. But in all of the scenes where you see him show doubt or fear or grief is when Atreus isn’t around. The moment Kratos gets a moment to himself he immediately breaks and starts calling out to Faye and asking her for help. He’s so desperately afraid that he’ll hurt his son by having any kind of influence on him, and doubly so now that he’s lost Faye as a buffer and filter to make sure Atreus stays the compassionate, kind and curious person he wants his son to be. He absolutely just does not know how to handle it and it scares the fuck out of him