howmanyletterscanifitintoaurl - Tumblr blog

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Quentin Tarantino: I'm making another movie

Guy who makes fake blood for a living: *rubs hands together*

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I should name my future dog, Peeve.

They’re my pet, Peeve.

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You’ve heard of Carry On My Wayward Son now enjoy

Please Stop My Relentless Daughter

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So it’s gay pride week at ASU so, naturally, there was this “god hates fags”-type guy with his t-shirt and signs protesting it and blocking the road. However, what was great was that there was this huge crowd of people watching and cheering as gay couples would walk up to him and kiss in front of him. His frustration and incredulity was pretty much priceless.

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Who’s Alex?

Billboard demonstrating gender stereotypes as most people automatically assume that Alex is the boy.

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It’s not premarital sex if you never get married

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When I die, I want my remains scattered over Disneyland. Also, I don’t want to be cremated…

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Our moon is the only one without a name.

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Attractive person: *kisses me*

Me: Okay but I'm sure they just like me as a friend no need to get excited

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Any water I accidentally step on in my house is pee until proven otherwise

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Describe your sex life with the name of a Yugioh card.

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When people begin the expression “You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume…” but don’t finish it are assuming you know what happens.

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In a better world, where bullshit gets checked:

“Ok, so you thought the boy made a bomb.”

“Yes.”

“And instead of evacuating the school, you pulled him out of class, arrested in front of everyone, then interrogated him, on the premises without getting the children to safety?  So, we’re going to put you up for criminal endangerment of this entire school”

“Well, uh, maybe we didn’t really think it was a bomb”

“Oh, ok, so instead you lied to police and federal authorities in order to bring up false charges against a minor for… kicks? I mean, you’re basically picking between which charges you’d like to go up on here.   Let me know, so we can get the paperwork right.”