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[humorisstoredinthetits]

Heathers as random things my friends and I have said

Just a heads up some of these things might be considered racist or otherwise offensive, they were not meant that way and I apologize if that is the case, this is all just dumb stuff we've said to make each other laugh

Duke: "I hate white people sometimes"

Chandler (To Duke): "Go back to the North Pole, Elf"

Mac: "I was racist when I was little, I used to call black people chocolate"

Mac: "Coward the Couragely Dog"

Chandler: "I'm picking privileged because I'm white"

Veronica: "Chandler isn't a tsundere, she's a needy bitch"

Duke: "Humor is stored in the tits, which is why Mac isn't funny"

Martha: "I'm a fat bitch just trynna enjoy a fight"

Mac: "Have a nice gay"

Duke (In a bad asian accent): "My eyes may be squinty, but I can still see a bitch"

Chandler: "Duke is Korean you know?" Mac: "I thought she was Asian"

Chandler: "a fat girl just called me a snack, idk if that's a compliment or a threat"

Veronica: "Ow the fires hot" proceeds to play with the fire

Chandler: "Who said you can step on me, only women are allowed to step on me"

Duke: "Chandler's only weakness, a lesbian"

Chandler: "It's okay to be gay, as long as you're good at it"

Mac: "I'm too white suburban to be Ghetto"

Duke: "If your girlfriend is so good then she's good enough to share"

Duke: "If pumpkin spice is what it takes to get bitches, then I'll be the white's bitch"

Veronica: "You know I could just leave and deepthroat another popsicle"

Duke: "Says the microphobe" Chandler: "What the hell is a microphobe?" Duke: "YOU HATE SHORT PEOPLE!"

Duke: "It's so hot out here that i'm sweating harder than a blind lesbian at the fish market"

Duke: "Chandler is a power bottom. She's a bottom because she doesn't get any attention from her parents"

Mac: "its just women, man"

Duke: "Among Us Church"

Duke: "Whoops sorry, wrong minority"

Mac: "Chandler would you like to own me"

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Heathers+Veronica Trip to Disney World

I guess I should probably introduce myself, hello people I'm Heather and I talk about Heathers and thats about it

I made some earlier headcannons about this but I'm gonna be expanding upon them

Now onto the gays TM

PS I'm gonna explain all the Disney stuff for the people who haven't been

Mac had always wanted to go to Disney World since she was little kid

Her parents wouldn't take her because 1 they didn't want to deal with each other for that long and 2 they didn't want to spend all that time and money to go only for Mac to have a meltdown and not want to do anything

But now Mac is an adult and can do what she wants and she wants to go to Greedy Rat Park (also Disney implemented DAS which is for people who for whatever reason cannot wait in line for extended periods of time, it lets people come back to rides at certain times and skip the line)

Veronica was all in for it, she thinks it would be fun and a good time, and despite the fact they have all this money they don't really go on vacation that often

Duke was pretty iffy on the whole thing, it sounded like fun on paper but they would be in the heat and have to wait in lines and people, but she also knows it would make Mac so happy to go so eventually she gets on board

Chandler is the big holdout

She knows that to get to Disney World they would have to go on a plane and she is super afraid of planes, plus she's also not a huge fan of amusement park rides

It gets to the point that Veronica and Duke planned a surprise trip for as a gift for Mac's bday and they just told Chandler they're going, suck it up buttercup

Chandler throws a hissy fit but they remind her that it would make Mac so happy to go

Mac is like Chandler's kryptonite so when they brought that up Chandler decided to just deal with it

They also decide to take a trip to the beach for her at a later time to make up for this

So her bday comes around and it comes down to the final present

Mac opens it and there's 4 Magicbands (Its a bracelet that acts as a park ticket, payment method, room key and more) in their signature colors and a small note saying 'We're going to Disney World!'

She starts happy crying and pulls them into a big hug

She hugs them so tight that it starts to hurt

They plan to go in October bc it won't be super hot but also not super cold, and most of the kids will be in school so there won't be as many people, both of which are chosen to make the trip as least stressful for Mac as possible

Over the next few months Mac spends all day watching Disney World videos on youtube to know what to expect

She orders everyone matching shirts for every day so they can have cute group photos

She packs her suitcase months in advance and it just sits in the corner of her room

In the meantime Chandler is regretting her decisions

She's afraid of planes and Veronica spends a-lot of time reminding her that planes are safer than cars but she's still afraid

She also shows Chandler videos of the rides to show her exactly what they are gonna be when they get there

Fast forward to the night before, Mac is so excited she is bouncing off the walls while Chandler is internally freaking out because she doesn't want to go on the plane

Veronica seriously considers putting some NyQuil in her coffee so she sleeps the whole flight

They drive to the airport and go through TSA and Chandler is still freaking out but she doesn't wanna ruin it for Mac

Mac finally notices Chandler looking upset and they talk

Chandler confesses that she is afraid of planes but she wants to go on this trip bc Mac has been looking forward to it for months

Mac comforts her and when they get on the plane they get out the split headphones and watch Disney movies the whole ride there

Of course they watch Frozen bc it was their favorite movie during their childhoods

In a weird role reversal its Chandler being the one holding on to Mac's arm during takeoff and turbulence

Veronica and Duke sleep the whole way there bc between dealing with the ball of sunshine who barely slept last night and kept tossing and turning and giggling and the nervous wreck who did the same neither of them got much sleep either

They get to Florida and get their luggage and get on the bus to Disney World

The plan is to spend 5 days not including the day of arrival and departure, one for each park and a free day

They're staying at the Grand Floridian (Biggest, most expensive and fancy hotel) bc they have the money so why not

They arrive at their room and get settled

There's 2 queen sized beds so they have to decide who gets to sleep with who

Duke and Veronica quickly take one of the beds for them bc they would like to sleep and not deal with the other two not being able to sleep

They go have dinner at 1900 Park Fare (Restaurant, weird name ik) where they get to meet Aladdin, Cinderella, Tiana and Mirabel

One of the things they decided while planning was to get as much character dining bc they thought it would be something Mac would enjoy, and they were right

Mac makes a plan there to try and meet as many characters as possible and take pictures with all of them

After dinner they go take a dip in the pool before going rest for the night

Day #1: Magic Kingdom

They decide to go to Magic Kingdom 1st because both it and the Grand Floridian are on the monorail so it would be the easiest to get back to the room if Mac starts to not be able to handle it

They get up super super early bc Mac physically cannot contain her excitement

They have breakfast reservations at the Crystal Palace where they can meet the Winnie the Pooh gang which makes Mac excited (Pooh is her favorite bc he's yellow)

From there they go to Tommorowland

I'm not gonna go over every ride bc if I did that we would be here all day and I would have to make 10 posts to contain it all so I'm just gonna do hilights

Chandler usually stays outside the rides bc she's scared but there's a few that she will go on, usually those that are slow

She does go on Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin (shooting ride) and obviously she goes with Duke bc she must beat her

They both fight over who gets to control the spinny stick in the middle

They have special spots that give more points which Duke looked up in advance so when they get to those sections her points skyrocket

Chandler is mad butthurt whenever they exit the ride and Duke is gloating

Veronica actually got more than her but she lets Duke have her victory (She also looked up the special spots in advance)

Mac tries to do literally everything which takes a minute

They go on the Carousel of Progress (show) which occasionally spins to the next scene but Chandler didn't realize this was gonna happen so when it does she screams

After they go on the Tommorowland Speedway (You drive a little car) which is hard to control and Chandler's life flashes before her eyes while Mac goes as fast as she can

They move into Fantasyland where they see Gaston

Gaston goes to Chandler and starts flirting

Mac intersects and asks for a pic and when Gaston poses with his flexed muscles she pulls down her sleeves revealing her toned cheerleader muscles and Gaston's mouth drops

Veronica and Duke are off to the side dying of laughter

When they get to the Haunted Mansion Chandler gets so scared that she has to go through the 'chicken door'

Veronica has never looked more embarrassed in her life when her 20-something-year-old gf has to leave a theme park ride bc she's scared when they went over it before they left

They have lunch at Cinderella's Royal Table (in the Castle) where Mac gets pics with Cinderella (duh), Aurora, Ariel, Snow White and Jasmine

When they go on Jungle Cruise (explanatory) Duke laughs so hard at all the stupid Dad jokes

They finish up the rest of the park and still have some time to spare so they go shopping

Chandler finds a couple of shirts and some cute Disney jewelry but not much else

Same with Veronica, but she buys a couple of pins and other random collectibles

Duke buys some pins of her favorite characters for her office at work plus a few other things

Mac buys so much stuff that she can barely carry it all, shirts, collectibles, pins, stuff for their home and so many stuffed toys

Thankfully they can get it all shipped back to their resort to pick it up when they get back so they don't have to carry it for the rest of the day

They have dinner at Be Our Guest (Beauty and the Beast restaurant) where they meet Belle and Beast

They try the grey stuff (its delicious)

Afterwards they go back and ride some stuff again

Chandler looked up where all the special spots were while everyone was on other rides so she goes for a rematch and she beats Duke and is celebrating but then Veronica shows that she got 100,000 points over her

Duke and Chandler mope for the next 15 minutes that they got beat by Veronica

They go find some of the characters that Mac missed on the first go round like Buzz Lightyear or Jack Sparrow who only come out randomly

They then go get a spot for fireworks which they watch

Mac happy cries again

They then go back to the resort and pick up their purchases

They have to make 2 trips because Mac bought so much crap

They all pass out because as much fun they had, they are exhausted

Chandler's Favorite Ride: Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin

Duke's Favorite Ride: Jungle Cruise

Mac's Favorite Ride: Under the Sea; Journey of the Little Mermaid

Veronica's Favorite Ride: Haunted Mansion

Day #2: EPCOT

They get to EPCOT early

Mac wants to stay at each park from open to close and bc this is her trip everyone agrees

Veronica enjoys the more educational rides like Spaceship Earth (the globe) and Living with the Land (shows off EPCOT's farming) but Chandler and Duke are bored out of their minds

They go to Cosmic Rewind (Guardians of the Galaxy rollercoaster) which obviously Chandler sits out of but while she waits she goes into the gift shop

In there they sell Infinity Gauntlets and she decides why the hell not

She gets one of the Iron Man ones bc its red and thats her color

When they get out of the ride they see Chandler with the gauntlet on her hand they start laughing bc the sight of Chandler with this oversized thing on her hand is too funny

Chandler goes up to them and does a terrible Thanos impression and goes "I am inevitable" and tries to snap but she didn't realize that it physically cannot stop

She gets mad that she spent all that money on it and it can't even snap which is like its whole deal

Of course the other 3 buy one too

They go on Test Track (car ride) where you can design your own car and they create the dumbest looking car possible

The wheels are bigger than the rest of the car, it has all these stupid add ons like spoilers and giant exhausts and stickers

They dub it the Heathermobile

They have lunch at Space 220 (it simulates being in outer space) which is cool but Mac is disappointed there are no characters for her to see

They go around the countries on the World Showcase which also bores Chandler and Duke bc its just learning

When they get to Japan Duke and Veronica buy so much anime crap

They all get kimonos in their own colors

Duke debates buying a samurai sword but realizes that she probably wouldn't be able to put that on the plane

They buy a bunch of Japanese snacks including some pocky

Mac and Veronica play the pocky game, Mac loses bc she's giggling the whole time

At each Pavilion Duke makes a terrible impersonation of that country's accent and Veronica just facepalms every time

They go to the Norway Pavilion and Mac and Chandler are excited bc they have all the Frozen shit

They're slightly disappointed bc on the Frozen ride the faces of the animatronics are projected and they look kinda creepy

But after they get to go meet Anna and Elsa and this was like a dream come true moment for kid Mac and Chandler and they take a really nice picture

When they get home they frame it and put it on the wall

They have dinner at Akershus (princess restaurant in Norway Pavilion) where Mac meets most of the princesses she had already seen plus Aurora

Chandler takes a picture with her bc that's her favorite Princess and Disney movie

They get done with everyone pretty quick bc EPCOT is alot smaller than Magic Kingdom so they decide to go drinking around the world

Drinking Around the World refers to going to each country and doing their favorite activity, drinking alcohol

Veronica stays sober bc one of them has to make sure they get back to the room

By the time they get halfway around the Heathers are all wasted and Veronica basically has to drag them back to the room

Chandler's Favorite Ride: The Seas with Nemo and Friends

Duke's Favorite Ride: Cosmic Rewind

Mac's Favorite Ride: Frozen Ever After

Veronica's Favorite Ride: Living with the Land

Day #3: Hollywood Studios

The Heathers wake up hungover as hell

Veronica prepared for this and got some water and other makeshift hangover cures she could make with what they had in the resort gift shop

By the time its time to leave they feel mostly better

They get to the park and go straight for Toy Story Land

They go on Toy Story Mania (similar to Buzz lightyear) and Duke and Chandler had been researching to see what they can do to cheat and win

Upon finding nothing they both try new tactics

During the third section Chandler realizes she's down so she keeps ramming into Duke to try and throw her off balance

Seeing that Chandler is playing dirty, during the next round Duke kisses Chandler which stuns her for a few seconds which allows her to regain the lead

Duke gets the win but then Mac gets more points than her to the shock of everyone

She takes a victory picture and orders a shirt off of Etsy saying "Toy Story Mania champion"

They head to Galaxy's Edge (Star Wars Land)

They got reservations for the lightsaber building and droid making

They each build a lightsaber, Mac is upset bc she can't get a yellow crystal but she finds out she can buy one so it all works out

Once they realize that if they fought with those they would break they go to another gift shop and buy the cheap toy ones

They also all make droids in their signature colors

They go on Smuggler's Run (Millenium Falcon Ride)

Mac and Duke take the pilot role and Veronica and Chandler are the gunners

The two other people unfortunate enough to be with them have to deal with them all yelling at each other bc the gunners arent shooting fast enough and Duke keeps ramming the Falcon into things

They get a low score and they're all kinda upset with each other but not really, they get over it in like five minutes

They go on Star Tours (Star Wars simulator ride) and Veronica is the rebel spy

After they get off the Heathers keep calling her a traitor to the Empire and shit like that

Mac fucking loves the Muppets and nearly happy cries during MuppetVision3D (muppet show)

They have lunch at Sci Fi (you eat in cars and watch old 50's scary movies

Chandler and Duke sit in the back and are scared of the cheesey old movies while Veronica and Mac just laugh at how obiviously fake they all are

They go watch all the shows like the Indiana Jones and Beauty and the Beast ones

Mac goes meet Olaf which is also a childhood dream of hers

They all go to the Frozen Sing a Long and Mac sings along

The rest of them think its cute

Duke is the only one who isn't scared of the Tower of Terror and she goes on alone

There's a great picture of her screaming her lungs out on the ride that they wanted to hang on the wall but Duke wouldn't let them

They have dinner at Hollywood and Vine (just a regular restaurant tbh) where Mac meets Minnie, Goofy, Pluto and Donald

They go see Fantasmic! (Nighttime Show) at the end of the night

When they leave they're just in awe, Mac is happy crying

Chandler's Favorite Ride: Toy Story Mania (even if she lost)

Duke's Favorite Ride: Tower of Terror

Mac's Favorite Ride: MuppetVision3D

Veronica's Favorite Ride: Rise of the Resistance

Day #4: Animal Kingdom

They get there early like every other day

They get in line for Flight of Passage (Avatar flying ride) and they are just in awe of how amazing of an experience it was

Even Chandler who doesn't normally like rides through it was an amazing ride

They buy little Banshees which sit on their shoulders and its really cute

They have breakfast at Tusker House where Mac gets to meet the whole Mickey Mouse gang

Next is Kilimanjaro Safari (self-explanatory)

Mac has an amazing time seeing all the different animals, especially the stuff they don't have back in their local zoo like hippos and crocodiles and she takes a bunch of pictures

Afterwards they has reservations to go on a closer tour of the ride where they can get a whole lot closer to the animals and they even get to feed some of them which makes Mac so fucking happy

They go to the Tough to be a Bug show and right as the show ends the seat moves like bugs are crawling under it and it scares the crap out of all of them

There's several shows involving birds where they can see him up close and afterwards Mac talks to the handlers about the animals

They go on Kali River Rapids (raft ride) and they all get soaked except for Chandler who wisely sat that one out

They all come back with wet clothes and Chandler just has this 'i told you so' attitude

Mac is pretty disappointed with the Dinosaur area and how low quality the whole thing seems

Animal Kingdom is pretty small and there isn't a whole lot to do so they call it an early night

Chandler's Favorite Ride: Flight of Passage

Duke's Favorite Ride: Expedition Everest

Mac's Favorite Ride: Kilimanjaro Safari

Veronica's Favorite Ride: Na'vi River Journey

Day #5: Free Day

They decide to sleep in and just cuddle when they wake up

Even Mac, who wants to go out and just do things is tired and in desperate need of physical affection from her gfs

They decide to spend the morning at Disney Springs, the shopping center for Disney World

There's plenty of non-Disney shopping to do there like Uniqlo, the Coke Store, M&Ms and their favorite, the LEGO store

They all get a plush M&M with their signature color and they snack on a giant bag of them that they bought

They buy just so much Disney crap bc its their last day

Clothes, Collectibles, Duke buys like 20 different pins, Home decorations

Mac gets a bunch of plushes

When they go checkout at the World of Disney (main store at Disney Springs) the cashier just sees 4 women all carrying as much stuff as they physically can and has to call someone to help them bring it all to the area to ship it to the resort

Then they go to the LEGO store and buy the 400 dollar Disney Castle plus other Disney sets

They go around and eat a bunch of different treats and snacks

They go back to the room to rest for a little while before deciding to go to putt-putt golf

Obviously Duke and Chandler make it a competition which Mac wins

Mac is really good at putt-putt

Then they go back to the room, take a dip a the pool and get some drinks

In the following morning they have to arrange the shipment of all of their purchases to their home which is made more difficult bc Disney needs their receipts to be able to ship so they are just scrambling to find all the necessary ones before the bus to bring them back to the airport gets there

They do manage to figure it all out and they get on the bus and eventually the plane back to Ohio

Despite everything they all had a good time and they're thinking about making it a yearly trip, much to Mac's delight

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Heathers+Veronica and Holidays

So with my headcannons from now on I'm gonna do them in themes bc its much easier than coming up with a bunch of random unrelated bs

New Year's Day

They wake up at like 2pm with massive hangovers

Martha comes over with prairie oysters and other hangover cures bc she's the only one who didn't drink herself into a stupor

They keep all the blinds closed and just sit on the couch groaning and regretting every choice they've ever made

They promise to drink less next year

They will not drink less next year

Veronica's Birthday (January 16th)

I'm just making up days for their bdays

Veronica doesn't really like doing anything big for her birthday, and as much as the Heathers would love to be super extra and go all out, they respect how Veronica likes to spend her day

They get JD/Martha/Betty to keep her out of the house while they get the decorations set up

Chandler bakes a cake (which she does for everyone's birthday) as well as other sweets

Veronica is basic af and likes vanilla cake

Just plain vanilla cake with regular vanilla icing

Chandler hates that her baking talents are going to waste on such a boring cake but she loves Veronica so she will do what she must

She has to fend off the other two trying to get 'samples' while she's cooking

She lets Mac help decorate the cake, not Duke, she would eat all the candy toppings before they went on the cake

Duke puts up the decorations while Mac goes get the presents

Just because she wants a regular party doesn't mean they can't go all out on the presents

Chandler usually gets her something from the animes that they watch together on date night

For example one year she hunted down this limited edition Violet Evergarden statue on Ebay, it cost her an arm and a leg but they have plenty of money

Duke usually gets her some books, which is staring to become a problem

Between the two of them there is no space for books in the house

So one year instead of getting her books she showed Veronica a room in the house they renovated into a library

Only her and Veronica use it, Chandler and Mac think reading is boring

But it's very quiet and peaceful in there, its usually where either of them go if they need to cool off after a fight or a long day at work

Its also where JFK the cat usually hangs out, he's a lazy ass cat and just sits on the loveseat and naps all day

But back to Veronica's birthday

Mac usually gets her jewelry from her dad's shop

After all of these years, Veronica still cannot accessorize for shit, so Mac takes it upon herself to find things that fit with Veronica's style and still look good

Her parents and friends will come over too and they'll just eat cake and spend time together

It's nothing all that fancy but that's just how she likes it

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day is basically just one big date night for them

They spend the morning getting all dolled up

Someone (usually Chandler) makes reservations at some uppity fancy restaurant

Mac and Veronica don't really enjoy the stuffy atmosphere these places have but its Valentine's Day so they go along with it

They get a bit tipsy and get an Uber to some club to go out dancing

They all agree its more fun to dance when there's alcohol in their systems, it loosens their inhibitions and lets them just have fun with it

They dance, drink some more, and the forever bachelor JD comes bring them home

By the time he comes Duke and Veronica are on the verge of passing out but Chandler and Mac are still going at it and they're doing all these crazy ass dance moves they were forced to learn when they were kids

JD has to practically drag them into the car

He's not exactly a fan of having 4 very drunk women in his car but he's not gonna let them walk or god forbid drive home in their states

In the morning he brings over hangover cures and Chandler gives him some sweets she baked earlier as compensation

Chandler's Birthday (February 24th)

The rest of her gfs might not exactly care for the fancy life but she does

But since they just went out on a big fancy date for Valentine's she shows mercy and lets them have a quieter day

But she is the Queen of the Castle and on this day she will be treated as such

I mean yeah she's had character development but she's still Heather fucking Chandler, the desire to be a spoiled princess is still there, she's just better at controlling it

Mac will bake breakfast bc she's the most competent besides Chandler and bring it to her in bed

Duke and Veronica stay in bed with her and cuddle their Queen

Usually her bday breakfast is chocolate-chip pancakes with whipped cream and some strawberries

While she eats it they'll give her gifts

From Mac she gets more jewelry (yes she gives this to everyone, but its not just random crap from her dad's shop, she has it customized with pretty jewels and shit)

From Duke she gets books (yes she also gives everyone books)

Chandler isn't a super big fan of reading but somehow Duke always manages to find something that she would be interested in

From Veronica she gets something different each year

Sometimes it might be new cooking or baking stuff, or it might be some collectible, or something that Chandler showed interest in

Afterwards she'll just relax all day, most days she's the only one at home so she has to do all the chores but on her birthday she takes the day off

She takes a long relaxing bath with bath bombs and all that relaxing shit and just takes her time to decompress

Then she'll just sit on the couch, watch TV, maybe read her new book from Duke, just whatever

The others take care of the chores for the day and they even try to make her a cake

Its never very good but they tried and that's all that matters

With the 3 of them doing chores it doesn't take very long so they can spend the rest of the day with Chandler

It's something she doesn't get to do alot, most of the week the 3 of them are working so they don't get to spend as much time together as she would like

If anyone gets why I chose the day I did for her bday then ur awesome

Duke's Birthday (March 17th)

Yes she was born on St. Patrick's Day, why do you think she likes green so much

She never really celebrated her bday too much growing up, her family never really cared to

So every year her gfs go all out for her

Chandler bakes this huge layered cake where each layer is a different flavor and there's a little candy Duke at the top of it

She also bakes all of her favorite sweets (Brownies, Chocolate Chip Cookies, etc.)

Duke really likes chocolate, to the point that the bottom and therefore biggest layer on her cake is chocolate

Mac goes all out on decorations, to the point that around March 17th every year the local Party City prepares for this small yellow lesbian to come in and spend thousands on party decorations for her gf

She gets so many balloons that they could fill an entire room, confetti, those silly paper hats, you name it, Mac bought it

Veronica's job is keeping Duke away while they set the party up

This is very difficult bc Duke is a chaos gremlin and really wants to see her party so she fights dirty to get out of the bedroom before it's time

Mac gets jewelry for her, its usually things with red gemstones bc even though its Chandler's color, Duke likes it too so why can't she have some red things

Veronica gets her a book (duh)

Chandler usually gets her a new outfit, usually in red too

Duke is really appreciative of all the work her gfs go through for her

She often feels like she's the least special of her gfs, like she brings the least to the table, and days like her bday remind her that they still do care about her and love her

McDuke/Chanduke Anniversary (March 28th)

So they (being all the Heathers+Veronica) celebrate each anniversary of when they got together

Basically that means they celebrate Chandlamara who got together first, then when Duke was invited to join the relationship, then Veronica

Chandlamara had been together for about 2 years at the point when they decided to invite Duke (This was Junior Year)

They had celebrated her birthday about a week beforehand and they had both been slowly developing feelings for Duke for a while, spending all of their time together in their clique will do that to a person, but seeing her all dressed up and happy during her bday celebrations was the straw that broke the camel's back

So after Mac brought up her feelings about Duke, and Chandler told her that she also had those feelings and that she would be okay doing a threesome thing with her

About a week later they were alone with Duke at Mac's house and they were all a little drunk and Duke started laughing and Mac just let go and kissed her

Duke was confused af bc she knew Mac and Chandler were a thing and why wasn't Chandler upset

Once they sobered up they explained what they felt and invited her into their relationship

Duke initially wasn't sure if she wanted to, she didn't really know about a poly relationship but she did feel the same as them and was willing to take it slow with them

Back to the present, Veronica will go spend the day with her friends or parents or whatever and let them go enjoy their anniversary

The Heathers will get all dressed up and go out to eat, maybe go take a walk in the park, something quiet while they go reminiscence on their lives

Easter

None of them are particularly religious, so Easter isn't celebrated in the Christian sense by them

No really its just an excuse to stay home from work and eat candy

Mac gets up early and hides eggs around the house and yard

She'll put the usual stuff like chocolate, candy, but she also has some bigger ones that she'll put the small bottles of booze into

She makes it into a competition, whoever finds the most eggs gets the big prize of one of those giant ass chocolate bunnies

Between Chandler and Duke's competitive natures and Duke's love of chocolate shit gets intense

Veronica just tries to find the ones with booze in them

After the eggs are found and whoever won gets their giant rabbit (its usually Duke, the thought of chocolate gives her the edge), JD, Martha, Betty, Veronica's parents and Mac's Dad will come over to have Easter Lunch

Mac brings out Munchkin the rabbit to just hop around, its Easter of course she's gonna let her rabbit out

Basically they just act childish and eat candy all day but who cares really, they're """"mature"""" adults and can do as they please

Mother's Day

Veronica goes back to her parents and spends the day with her mom

None of the Heathers liked their moms, and 2 of them are dead, so it's not something they really wanna celebrate

Mrs. Sawyer invites the Heathers every year but they always decline

It's not that they don't like her, she's been incredibly welcoming once she got over the weirdness of her daughter dating three people who used to bully her and her friends, its just that they all have bad experiences with their moms and this day just brings up memories they'd rather forget

They decide that the best way to deal with their issues is drinking, and Veronica always comes home to the Heathers getting wasted

Father's Day

It's the same thing as Mother's Day, expect for that Mac goes spend the day with her dad, but that isn't the most fun affair either

Her mom was a bitch who cheated on her dad so neither of them really care for her, but when its just the two of them the topic of her mom always comes up despite both of them wanting to avoid the subject

So when Mac gets home she goes straight for the liquor cabinet and finds the strongest shit and downs it

Mac's Birthday (June 22nd)

Mac likes to do fun things for her birthday, so they'll take her out to the bowling alley or fair or something like that

Chandler and Duke put aside their competitiveness to let Mac win

Mac tries to tell them they don't have to let her win but they still do

The other three will find some carnival prize or something in the arcade gift shop and work their asses off to get it for her

Veronica will get her some anime collectible, like a statue or something like that

Duke gets her manga bc Mac doesn't really like regular books, the pictures in manga help keep her engaged with the story and help her visualize the events going on

Chandler gets her something fluffy, like a new blanket or stuffed animal or some new toy for her rabbit

Some people might think she's childish for still wanting to go to these places, and its something she's talked to he gfs about, but they remind her that who tf cares, if you're happy thats all that matters

And yeah, going to the arcade or carnival or zoo or whatever sounds a whole lot better than sitting in some stuffy restaurant

4th of July

Can you guess what they do?

If you guessed get wasted, you are correct

They're the Heathers, what did you expect

JD gets triggered by loud sounds like fireworks, so they don't use any of them (They've threatened the neighbors to not use any either), but they still get sparklers and other non-explosive things

Mac's dad will come over and barbecue and Chandler makes USA themed sweets

They'll hold a party with Veronica's friends and they'll all go swimming in their huge pool

They have all the best pool floats, like the one that looks like the giant unicorn

What usually ends up happening is JD and Duke form a team to whack people (Chandler) with pool noodles and shoot her with water guns

She knows this is gonna happen so every year she finds a bigger water gun to defend herself with

One year she found this one that looks like a gatling gun

Martha tries to stay out of it, but sometimes a stray water shot will hit her and if that happens you better run

She'll fill a gun with ice cold water and she will not stop until you're shivering and begging for mercy

Veronica, Mac and Betty learned years ago to just let them do their thing, they just sit around and eat

Chandlamara Anniversary (September 1st)

Sep. 1st is not technically their anniversary, not being the day they actually got together, but its the day they first met and its what they consider to be their anniversary

On the first day of Kindergarten, Chandler and Mac met for the first time

Bc they had the same name, the teacher put them at the same table (Duke was also at this table, but she was already friends with Martha and wasn't interested in being their friend)

They connected instantly and became each other's best friend in a matter of five minutes

Chandler was everything Mac wanted to be, she was smart, could sit still and behave, she could listen without interjecting and she had everything together

It's these things that drew Chandler to Mac, she was so different and unafraid to be herself unlike Chandler who knew even from that age she needed to act a certain way so she didn't get in trouble

On that day, Mac was being harassed by Kurt and Ram at recess so Chandler took it upon herself to defend her new friend by kicking them in the balls

She was able to convince the teacher that she didn't do it and that it was an accident but they wanted to blame her bc she wouldn't play with them

But from that day forward she made it her mission to make sure Mac was always happy and safe

In the present, they spend every September 1st together

Duke and Veronica go out and spend the day with each other

Chandler and Mac both have vastly different preferences for what they do for dates, so what they do is they'll go to a restaurant for Chandler, go home, change into something more comfy, and then go out and do something fun

If a fair is in town they'll go, eat a bunch of unhealthy crap and go ride rides

Chandler is scared of the rides but she puts on a brave face for Mac

Afterwards they'll go home and watch a movie and cuddle on the couch

Mac usually falls asleep before the movie ends and Chandler has to carry her up to bed

Poly!Heathers+Veronica Anniversary (October 28th)

Veronica has been with the Heathers for only a few weeks at the point where the Heathers asked her to join their relationship

They had been surprised that this nobody could be so attractive once she put a little effort into her appearance

But it was also that she stood up for them to Fleming when she was under no obligation to do so, and as so bold as to ask for a favor afterwards that really drew her to them

It was kinda obvious to Veronica that the Heathers were gay, I mean what straight people dress in color-coordinated outfits, but she figured that Chandler and Mac were probably an item

She had no idea all three of them were together and even less of an idea that they wanted her to be apart of it

Now Veronica, absolute bisexual disaster she is, knew the Heathers were extremely attractive and being in a relationship with them would be fucking awesome

But she was a little overwhelmed, she's never had a partner before, much less three at the same time

They reassured her that she could say no and that she could leave at any time if she began to feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed

Veronica decided to give it a shot bc why the hell not and the rest is history

Their anniversary date is basically just a larger version of their monthly group date

They each choose one thing to do and they combine it all into a day

Chandler obviously chooses a fancy restaurant

What can she say, she likes eating good food she doesn't have to cook herself

Mac chooses to do something fun

Another shocker lol

Duke usually picks a shopping trip to the mall

She has alot of good memories in the mall, just hanging out with her gfs, looking hot, buying stuff they cannot, maxing dad's credit card

Veronica picks something different every year

Sometimes it'll be a walk in the park, going to a movie, concert, whatever, she just wants to find something new to do

Halloween

Mac always makes them dress up in a theme

The rest of them pretend to hate it because Mac most of the time chooses the silliest themes but they secretly look forward to what they're gonna do this year

Beforehand they'll go to Costco and buy all of the bulk candy they can fit into their cart

I'm talking like full size candy bars, like the ones you find at a grocery store checkout line

Kids travel from miles around to go to their house and they've started to have to buy more candy as word spreads of the house giving out full size candy

JD will hide in their bushes and jumps out to scare kids

He's obviously dressed as Jason Vorhees

Mac doesn't like it but Duke thinks its hilarious

Thanksgiving

Veronica's friends, parents and Mac's Dad all come over to their place for Thanksgiving

Each of them will bring a side dish while Chandler cooks the turkey

Its a small, quiet affair, nothing too much happens

They eat, drink and just talk

When it gets to the part where everyone says what they are thankful for, of course Duke and Chandler make it a competition to see who can talk longer

It started when Chandler noticed that Duke's speech was always longer than hers so she started dragging her's out to be longer

Duke caught on and know its a competition

One year Chandler spent 15 minutes talking about how thankful she was for Mac while she sat there blushing and everyone groaned at how long this was taking

Everyone made a rule where it cannot be more than 5 minutes long bc the food was getting cold while they rambled on

Mac cannot wait for it to be over, bc as soon as everyone leaves she can get down the Christmas stuff and she fucking LOVES Christmas

Christmas

This is Mac's favorite holiday

She goes all out

Their house is covered in lights, a fake santa and sleigh on top, inflatable decorations, you name it, its somewhere

The inside is even more decorated

Mac got specially made stockings, their tree is so tall it reaches up to the roof of the third floor, there's mistletoe under every doorway

She can hardly sleep on Christmas Eve, that's how excited she gets

On Christmas morning its like a child waking up their parents to go open presents but instead of parents its her three gfs who haven't had their coffee yet and nobody wants to deal with Chandler when she hasn't gotten her coffee

They'll open presents after everyone is awake enough to know what the day is

Besides the usual stuff, they each get an ornament

They'll draw a name out of a hat and whoever's name they pull is the one they have to get an ornament for

They've found an online store where they can customize their ornaments in extreme detail and do pretty much whatever they want with it

Sure it costs a pretty penny but they have plenty of money

Each ornament will say To xxxxx From xxxxxx Christmas 20XX

After the rest of their friends and family will come over and they'll exchange gifts and eat dinner

They'll watch the Christmas Day parades and old movies on TV

Once everyone leaves they'll just cuddle on the couch, enjoying each other

New Year's Eve

They get drunk

Its the same thing as 4th of July, they threaten the neighbors to not use fireworks as to not set off JD

They'll watch the ball drop on TV

Mac is pretty much out of it by 11 and once it hits midnight she just passes out

So yeah that was that, if yall have any comments or questions or whatever go ahead and ask

Also Chandlamara is the best individual ship and Mac is the best Heather fight me Duke Stans

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Day-to-Day Life of the Heathers + Veronica (Pt. 2/2)

Wow I didn't think I would write so much about this I would need to make a second post lol

Chandler's least favorite chore is cleaning up after the pets

JFK isn't so bad, he's a lazy old thing and doesn't do much besides sit on the couch, all she has to do is clean his litter box and feed him

Heather the cat is another story

She gets upset when Mac goes to work and spends a few hours searching the house for her and when she realizes that she's gone she goes yell at Chandler

Its hard to get work done when this massive Maine Coon is yelling at you bc her favorite human isn't home

She'll just follow Chandler and just incessantly meow until Mac gets home and its really annoying

She tries to play with her but Heather wants nothing to do with her and it makes Chandler so mad

Mac's Rabbit Munchkin is the sweetest little Holland Lop but good god is it messy

There's always hay and straw and droppings around her little rabbit area

How does one little rabbit make so much mess? The world may never know

Chandler actually doesn't mind Munchkin, she's sweet and doesn't really do much besides hop around and play

But you know what she does mind? Having to deal with Cornelius the snake

He's in a cage in Duke's room and every few days Chandler has to go in and feed him and clean up

Chandler hates this so much but she does it bc she loves Duke and Duke loves Cornelius

They have frozen rats which Chandler has to thaw and give to him using these really long tongs that she bought to stay as far away from the snake as possible

She is literally shaking in fear as she unlocks the cage and slowly inches the rat near Cornelius

She quickly cleans up his droppings and shed skin while he eats the rat so she doesn't turn his attention on her and try and bite her

In reality he would never do that but Chandler is not sticking around to find out

She also has to go shopping, which is a chore she loves doing

She has to go get groceries and its hard to get everything that 4 different people want, especially when they all have different wants and likes but she manages and actually enjoys going find everything

With whatever time she has left over she'll watch TV or scroll her phone, or get a headstart on dinner or bake cookies or brownies or a cake

She picked up cooking as a hobby but she's actually gotten really good at it with all the practice she gets and now she finds different recipes to try out

Veronica is usually the first one to get home, followed by Mac if she isn't volunteering that day, and then Duke

So reverse order of when they leave

Once they all get home they'll eat dinner and then go snuggle on the couch and watch something or go play a game, whatever they do they just spend time with each other

The pets will join them

JFK just kinda sits around and occasionally goes to Veronica

Heather the cat just meows at Mac until she gives her attention, she's an attention whore

Munchkin just kinda does whatever, but usually sits in Mac's lap while they watch TV

Cornelius stays in his cage bc if not Chandler would scream

Eventually they'll all go shower

They usually do it together to save on water and also for.... other reasons that will not be elaborated on

After that they'll just go chill and watch some TV or whatever until they get sleepy

Usually Mac falls asleep on one of her gfs and has to be carried to bed

Whenever Mac falls asleep is when everyone takes it as a sign to head to bed themselves

Veronica has insomnia and has issues falling asleep, so sometimes she'll just look at all her gfs sleeping and remind herself how lucky she is to be in this situation and how much she loves these girls

[humorisstoredinthetits]

The Day-to-Day Life of the Heathers + Veronica (Pt. 1/2)

This is just a series of headcannons surrounding what I imagine the day-to-day life of the Heathers and Veronica

So the they all sleep in an Alaskan King Bed big enough for all four of them to sleep comfortably

The feeling of their gfs being right next to them all night long helps Mac and Veronica sleep, both of whom have problems sleeping otherwise

Chandler sleeps on one end, Mac next to her, Duke next to her and Veronica next to her

Mac likes sleeping in the middle bc its the most comfy

Veronica sleeps on the end bc she is usually the one who gets up first so she's on the end so she doesn't disturb the rest of them when she gets up

This is especially true for Chandler, if you bother her beauty sleep she will be even more of a bitch all day and no one wants to deal with that

Veronica jokes that Duke sleeps in the middle bc "she's so tiny she needs to be in the middle or she'll fall off the bed"

Duke kicked her after she said that

Veronica usually gets up around 7:30 and goes into the kitchen

She makes coffee for Duke and Chandler, and tea for Mac

Duke likes it black, Chandler with as much sugar and creamer as possible, and Mac doesn't like the taste of coffee so she drinks tea instead

Unrelated but Chandler totally has a super particular Starbucks order and if they get it wrong she knows and throws a fit

The local Starbucks now knows to be on high alert when the 'mean red lesbian' comes into their shop

One by one the Heathers will get up and come get their drinks

Usually first its Mac, then Duke, then Chandler

They'll sit at the island and make small talk about dreams and their plans for the day while they wait for the caffeine to kick in

From there they have to go to work

Duke leaves first, then Mac, then Veronica

Its about a 30 minute commute for Duke to get to the agency she works at

During the drive she'll listen to podcasts or Youtube videos about anything she finds interesting really

Sidenote but her Jeep is her baby, no one is allowed to touch her (Yes her Jeep is a her) or Duke gets mad and everyone knows short people have more rage in their tiny little bodies

One time Chandler bumped into her Jeep with her purse causing the tiniest of dents and Duke wouldn't talk to her for a week

Duke's workload consists of mostly meeting with abused children to get testimonies, as well of those of care providers and other adults who can testify on the child's living situations

These testimonies are then forwarded, if applicable, to the police and legal officials to start the process of removing the child from the abusive situation

Its emotionally taxing having to hear the stories these poor children tell her, but to Duke, having the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in these kids life trumps anything else

Its hard for her, knowing that these resources existed but not having access to them as an abused child herself

She would've killed to be able to have a trusted adult to tell about what was really going on behind closed doors

But to be the adult that she wishes she always had helps her heal a little

The kids call her Ms. Duke and she has a board covered in thank-you drawings and notes from all the kids she's helped over the course of her working there

Her office is designed as a space where the kids will feel comfortable, there aren't huge intimidating bookshelves or anything like that

Its colorful and her desk has various trinkets that she uses to break the ice with any kids who are afraid to talk

There's also a fishtank in there and she has some turtles in there with the fish

They're named after the TMNT

She really does love her job, except for the fact that she can't punch the abusive parents, but thats what JD is for

For Mac, she drives a little pale yellow Beetle

(I got that headcannon from somewhere else, so credit to whoever that was, its been so long I can't remember where I got it from)

She listens to Disney or Musical soundtracks while driving to her Dad's Jewelry store and of course she sings along with them

Her Dad is training her to take over the store when he eventually retires

She has a genuine desire to help the customers find a perfect ring for their spouse and it makes people feel welcome and want to buy from them

But Mac is really bad at the business aspect of things

She cannot do math for the life of her and makes really simple mistakes

She's also really bad at dealing with rude customers, its just generally in her nature to be nice to people (its why she made such a terrible Heather and why she let Chandler and Duke deal with the intimidation parts) so when someone is being rude about prices or whatever she just blanks and doesn't know what to do really

For the longest time whenever a situation like that would occur Chandler or Duke or even Veronica would be there to help her out but at the shop she's on her own

Chandler and Duke are trying to teach her how to be assertive but its like that one Spongebob episode where Sandy tries to get Spongebob to be assertive, aka it goes terribly

Despite all of that she's learning and getting better at handing the business and her dad is feeling more and more confident in his decision to let her take over

Sometimes after the leaves she'll go volunteer at the animal shelter

The dogs and cats and stuff are always happy to see her because she always sneaks them extra treats and pets them

Mac is super knowledgeable about what the animals like and don't like and how to get a scared animal to open up

She's a big help to the employees of the shelter, and they always appreciate when she comes in to help

Sometimes Martha will go with her to volunteer and they'll just play with the kittens for a few hours

She actually helped JD get his dog from the shelter

He came in one day looking for a pet and Mac just happened to be volunteering that day and she helped him find a dog that matched his personality

He settled on a German Shepherd named Duke (It was already named so it was just a coincidence that it was named Duke) and its basically just a Golden Retriever in the body of a Shepherd

Veronica leaves whenever she wants really, as a writer she doesn't have a boss to answer to or hours she has to work, so she really does as she pleases

She only leaves the house because she finds it distracting to be in the house surrounded by her stuff, pets and gfs

She usually goes to local coffee shops or the library and puts in her headphones and just types away

She mostly listens to classical stuff with the occasional musical (courtesy of Mac) or weird ass emo song (courtesy of JD)

She's working on several projects at the same time and just alternates working based on whatever she's feeling at the time

The main one is a story about a girl moving to the US from Africa and getting involved with a drama involving a trio of popular teenage girls and struggling to manage the popularity and how it changes her

That one is loosley based on the events of her high school year (and yes its Mean Girls, I think its interesting to imagine Veronica creating Mean Girls and basing it on her own experiences with a trio of popular girls)

She comes home whenever she feels she's made enough progress for the day

Sometimes she gets stuck and doesn't know how to proceed and when that happens she'll go to the park or somewhere in nature and just walk and think

Being out in nature really helps clear her mind and get herself out of the mental block she's having

Once the rest of her gfs leave, Chandler gets started on the chores for the day

She has to collect all their clothes (There's four of them and they're the Heathers, they have a lot of clothes) and do laundry

She has to put the dishes into the dishwasher and put them back in the cabinets

She vacuums and dusts

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Veronica's Ideology & Heather McNamara

This is a bit different than what I normally post, but this is something that I've been thinking about for awhile. This isn't gonna be super in-depth or anything its just something I've noticed.

ALSO TRIGGER WARNING FOR TALK OF S*ICIDE, I'm gonna be talking about what happens with Mac after Shine A Light Reprise so if that triggers you, don't read this

So we know that Veronica strongly believes that all people have the ability to be good and change, hell its the first thing that she tells the audience;

[VERONICA, spoken] September 1st, 1989 Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone

Like before her name is ever said on stage (Her name isn't actually stated until after Fleming leaves the bathroom in Beautiful, which is super weird), Veronica tells us exactly how she sees other people and what she believes about them. Her views come down to that people were once good, are no longer good, but still have the ability to change and become good once again. These views come into play when dealing with JD, because Veronica believes that she can fix him. This is in contrast with JD's ideology, who believes that almost everyone is beyond saving and should be removed from the equation all together, and this contrast is what ultimately drives a wedge between them and causes JD to go off the deep end and try to kill everyone.

Now we all know this, its all obvious if you've watched the musical or even listened to the recording, but I wanted to get into if her ideology on people is true or not.

There are 7 major characters in Heathers, including Veronica herself, and I'm going to go through each of them and compare them to Veronica's ideology.

Kurt, Ram and Heather Chandler:

[VERONICA] Dear diary: I'm going steady Mostly he's awesome If a bit too “rock and roll” Lately he's bumped off Three of my classmates God, have mercy on my soul They were just seventeen They still had room to grow They could have turned out good And now we'll never know

These 3 die early on into the musical and so they aren't able to grow, and yet Veronica still believes that they would have the ability to do so. This is despite how right before they died, they were all awful to her, Chandler declaring her socially dead, and Kurt and Ram trying to SA her during their 'date'. Even in death, their ghosts still act as they did in life, being an annoyance at best and antagonistic at worst. But, because they are dead and are seemingly stuck as the way they were in life, Veronica's ideology is proven wrong, as they are incapable of change.

Martha:

[VERONICA, spoken] Martha Dunnstock. My best friend since diapers She's got a huge heart. 'Round here, that's not enough

Martha is initially the only exception to Veronica's belief that people have only gotten worse as they have gotten older, besides herself. Martha still acts rather childish, believing that her crush from Kindergarten will eventually work out and thinking that everything will have a happy ending. Veronica acknowledges the flaw in her thinking, not that it's wrong, but that other people have a problem with it and see it as a sign of weakness, and that in the Westerburg food chain any sign of weakness means bullying. Despite all of this, Martha is the exception to Veronica's thinking, not a model for what she believes everyone could be. Martha is the only person who has somehow remained good despite how society has forced them to change as they grow up. But, if you're already good, you can't exactly change to be good, so Veronica's ideology does not apply in the case of Martha. Perhaps the way she acts is the reason Veronica developed her ideology, and she always knew 1 person who remained good, and that led her to believe that it was possible for everyone to be like Martha, if not for some outside force causing them to become mean as they grew older.

Heather Duke:

Note: I'm going to be using the OBC versus the West End for this, I understand that West End made some changes to her character but I also haven't seen West End so I can't exactly comment on those changes.

Duke is the character who changes the least during the course of the show. Initially pushed aside by Chandler until her death, she becomes the Queen Bee and does to Mac what Chandler did to her, and then Veronica steals the scrunchie and Duke is pushed off to the side, symbolically losing the power she so desperately craved. She doesn't die and isn't reformed or has her thinking changed, she remains relatively stagnant. What's weird is that Veronica, despite her ideology seems to have written off Duke as a lost cause, even if she stops JD from murdering Duke.

VERONICA and HEATHER MCNAMARA are playing croquet. (HEATHER DUKE enters) HEATHER DUKE: Hey, guys! Missed you after 8th period. VERONICA: Yeah, we were avoiding you.

She doesn't even attempt to extend the olive branch to her, instead choosing to exclude and ignore her, which is extremely out of line with what she said earlier about people being able to change. This is probably due to how she treated Mac after Lifeboat, but even still it doesn't line up with her stated ideology. Even during Seventeen Reprise, she pushes Duke away and doesn't offer her a hand like she does with Mac. Ultimately, Duke shows the failure of Veronica's ideology, as she does not change, shows no sign of being willing to do so, and Veronica doesn't even try, all being the complete opposite of what Veronica believes.

(Again, I know West End changed this, but I haven't seen all of it so I'm going only based on OBC)

JD:

As stated previously, JD is the antithesis of Veronica. He is someone who only sees the worst in most people and doesn't care about wether they become better or not, only caring for himself and those he deems worthy, which only includes Veronica, and to an extent the people she cares about.

JD: But why’d you have to go and mess with McNamara? One more dead Heather’s a good thing. VERONICA: She’s my friend.

JD: If she’s such a good friend, why let Duke live? The bitch who made McNamara want to die, nothing ever changes! Unless-

Here is a perfect example that JD's morals are the opposite of Veronica's. His can shift based on the person he cares about, while Veronica's stay firm. JD's opinions shift based on what Veronica says, because he is easily influenced, unlike Veronica. For example, throughout the entire musical, Veronica never lets JD change her beliefs. She never agrees to kill Kurt or Ram and has to be tricked into helping, same with Chandler too, the drain cleaner being sneaked into the mug while she's not looking, and she puts her foot down when he tries to convince her to kill again.

VERONICA: Fine! We’re damaged Really damaged But that does not make us wise We’re not special, we’re not different” We don’t choose who lives or dies

Despite all of this, Veronica senses a kindred spirit in JD, someone who sees the society of Westerburg for what it is, just plain bullshit. It's just that they both have different ways on dealing with it. Veronica believes in rehabilitation, while JD says fuck 'em, let them die. This is what initially drives Veronica to JD, the fact that he simply doesn't care about the social structure and is willing to exist outside of it, something Veronica desperately hopes that everyone would do. Upon discovering how broken he actually is, Veronica believes that he is a perfect target for her ideology to be proven correct. She thinks that she can 'fix' JD with her love and that he can become good, despite everything he's done. Seventeen is literally Veronica stating that their love can fix each other, an idea which JD had earlier brought up in Our Love is God and which Veronica had agreed with, although under duress.

BOTH: Can't we be seventeen Is that so hard to do? If you could let me in I could be good with you

JD: I was alone I was a frozen lake But then you melted me awake See, now I'm crying too You're not alone VERONICA: You're not alone

Despite all of this, Veronica is ultimately unable to change JD, a fact that she is initially unable to accept, but eventually does.

VERONICA: Oh my God—

JD: And once I disappear VERONICA: Wait, hold on— JD: Clean up the mess down here VERONICA: Not this way! JD: Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God Our love is God VERONICA: Say hi to God

This is the ultimate failure of her ideology. The person she tried to fix, who seemed like the perfect template for what she believed all people were capable of does not change, never disavowing the beliefs he held, instead choosing to die with his failed idea to cleanse the world of the people Veronica has spent the entire show saying can be changed for the better.

Now I've spend this entire rant discussing how Veronica's ideology was a failure in every sense, and it would be if not for one singular person, the only character in the entire show who proves that Veronica was right at least on some level, that at least some people are capable of change.

Heather McNamara:

Mac starts the musical as a Heather, a Queen Bee, Solid Teflon, whatever you want to call it. After Chandler dies things start to spiral, being placed in the position Duke held as the punching bag, and once Kurt and Ram died there was no one there to care for her, even if just at a sexual level.

HEATHER MCNAMARA: My sort-of boyfriend killed himself because he was gay for his linebacker. My best friend seemed to have it all together but she’s gone, too. Now my stomach’s hurting worse and worse and every morning on the bus I feel my heart beating harder and faster and I’m like Jesus, I’m on the freakin’ bus again because all my rides to school are dead...

Like seriously, Duke couldn't even bring her to school. Fucking Kurt or Ram, whichever one she was dating idc about Kurt or Ram enough to know at least could bring her to school and they viewed her only as a sex object.

Tangent over, Mac's mental health starts to deteriorate to the point of suicidal thoughts, and after Duke humiliates her in front of the entire school she runs to the bathroom and tries to end it all, foiled only by the dastardly childproof caps.

And this is where Veronica steps in. Mac has done nothing kind to her the entire musical. She's gone along with Chandler or Duke's schemes, never stands up for her, and volunteers her for date-r*pe, even if unknowingly, and yet Veronica rushes into the bathroom after her with not a second thought and stops her from ending her life. She talks her down, reminding her that not everyone is gonna be happy all the time and that she can't just be a follower. Veronica has no reason to help Mac, and yet she still does. And this is where Veronica's ideology is shown to be right. After this, Mac stops hanging out with Duke and starts to spend time with Veronica, even standing up to Duke.

HEATHER MCNAMARA: What you did to me sucked.

(Side note, but like honey she drove you to the point of suicide I think that more than sucked.)

Then finally comes the defining point for Veronica's ideology. Mac has been standing next to Duke since Veronica came back from the field where JD blew up, Martha has come in and Veronica offers to have movie night like they've always done, and then Veronica sings this and offers her hand to Mac.

We can be seventeen Still time to make things right One day we'll change the world

And Mac takes her hand, and for the rest of the song they hold hands and sing together, signifying that she has changed and is putting her past as a Heather behind her and is becoming a new and better person, just like Veronica said all the way at the beginning of the musical. Mac is important to the story, because she is the only one who shows that Veronica was right in the end. She is the only one who changes for the better, proof that people can and will change, and ultimately proving JD wrong.

TLDR; Mac is the only person who changed by the end of the musical, meaning that Veronica's idealist ramblings during Beautiful had at least some merit and weren't just statements made from a naive teenager.

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Headcannons part 69420

Otherwise known as I'm running out of ideas and names

Mac is big on physical affection

She loves to hold hands or cuddle on the couch, she just loves touch

It's her primary way of showing affection

She generally likes having physical contact with at least one of her gfs at all times, wether that be holding hands when walking or touching legs under the table at dinner

The constant feeling of the others reminds her that they are there and that they love her and aren't gonna leave

Chandler shows affection through gift giving

Sometimes she'll bake cookies or brownies to surprise her gfs with after a long day at work, or maybe give them flowers, or she'd find something she thinks they would like at the store when grocery shopping so she picks it up

She gets super embarrassed tho if someone gets her a gift

Veronica's is quality time

She doesn't really care what they all do as long as they are spending time with each other

She has a very go with the flow attitude about their relationship, its a unique, morphing thing that is unlike anything she's been in before or seen and she thinks its beautiful

Its like an adventure, a journey that she's going along with them and she just needs to stop and smell the roses, just enjoying living the life she does with them

Duke doesn't have a clear preference really, but it does make her feel special when she gets gifts

Knowing that her gfs took the time to think about her and what she likes and spending their own money to get her something to make her happy makes her happy in return

Each Saturday they have Date Night

For the first 3 weeks of the month they each have one on one dates and on the 4th they have a group date

For example Week 1 is Chandler/Veronica and Duke/Mac

Week 2 is Chandler/Mac and Duke/Veronica

Week 3 is Chandler/Duke and Mac/Veronica

That way they can each spend one on one time with each other

Chandler generally enjoys 'classic' dates, like going out to eat or going to the movies

She knows its corny but she loves the romance aspect of it all

She loves getting all dressed up and going out to eat at fancy restaurants and just talking to whatever gf she is with that week

Mac likes doing fun things

She thinks that if they're going on a date they should be doing something, not just sitting down somewhere and talking

She likes to go to carnivals if they're in town, or the zoo/aquarium, or go bowling

She just likes to be doing things

Veronica likes a chill date

Normally for her dates they'll sit on the couch and watch anime and cuddle

With Mac they'll watch cute fluffy yuri romance stuff like I'm In Love With the Villainess

With Duke they'll watch action/adventure stuff like Attack on Titan or Demon Slayer

With Chandler they'll watch mystery stuff like Death Note or stuff that hits you in the feels like Violet Evergarden

After they watched Ep. 10 of Violet Evergarden Duke and Mac came home to Chandler and Veronica sobbing uncontrollably while holding each other

Duke loves shopping dates

Clothes, books, collectibles, she doesn't care she just loves going out and spending money

When she goes on shopping dates she'll buy gifts for whichever gfs she isn't currently on a date with

The topic of kids has come up a few times but they've never been able to agree

They can't have a biological child bc they're all cis women, and either way none of them really wanna deal with pregnancy and the questions that would bring up

Duke and Chandler both believe they would be horrible parents bc of what they went through

Mac would want a kid but she also thinks she wouldn't be a good mom

Veronica is the one who really wants a kid, but she's accepted that it most likely won't happen and while it upset her for a while, she realized how lucky she is to have the Heathers and it won't be the end of the world if they don't have a kid

They did discuss adopting a child that comes through Duke's practice, but they understand they aren't equipped to deal with a child whose going through major mental health issues and that their home wouldn't be the best place for a child like that to recover in, so they dropped that idea

They also talked about marriage

It obviously wouldn't be legal but it would be a small ceremony with just their friends and remaining family

Mac and Chandler want to but Duke and Veronica don't really see the point

Mac and Chandler think it would be fun to get all dressed up and have a ceremony

Duke and Veronica think its a waste, nothing would really change about their lives or the way they treat each other anyway

If y'all have any suggestions or ideas for headcannons go ahead and share them, I'm not very creative lol and could use ideas, but I'd also like to hear what y'all think about these disaster lesbians

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Assorted Headcannons

Living the kind of lifestyle they do is stressful sometimes

They love each other, dont get them wrong, but other people judge them and it gets to them sometimes

Chandler and Duke act like it doesn't affect them but in reality they're just better about hiding it

JD doesn't really care as long as their happy, but the relationship created a rift in Veronica's friendship with Betty and Martha

They wanted her to be happy, but she's dating all 3 of the people who bullied them, and herself, for years and that hurts

And honestly, they don't really believe the Heathers changed

Deep down, they believe that its all a trick, one giant final prank

Eventually Veronica was able to convince them that the Heathers were genuine, but they still kept an eye out for any evidence otherwise

Their distrust didn't fully go away until they sold them Duke's old house for cheap, literally a dollar, plus sending them some money and helping find them jobs

As for their parents, well Duke's and Chandler's are dead and Mac's mom fucked off years ago, so all they have is Mac's dad and Veronica's

Mac's dad doesn't care as long as Mac is happy

He's a good dad, maybe a little out of touch but he trusts the other Heathers to treat his daughter right

Veronica's parents, however, were more like Martha and Betty

When Veronica first told them that she was dating all 3 of them, they were concerned to say the least

They were already concerned with the changes in their daughter after she joined the Heathers, and they were sure they were manipulating her and this was their next step

Veronica called JD to try and convince them and that did not help, like at all

Eventually she got fed up and left and spent the night at Mac's and told the Heathers what happened

They all went back the next day and Chandler went on a whole rant about how much she loved Veronica and all the good she's done for them and that she doesn't care what they think and she'll love her regardless

This started the process of slowly changing her parent's minds towards them

But even beside family and friends, strangers treat them differently

They're used to being treated like goddesses at school so the change to real life was jarring for them

They decided early on that they weren't going to hide their relationship and be open about it in public

Even though they understood what this would mean for how they would be treated they all decided that being true to themselves was more important than anything

Whenever they go to the mall people whisper behind their backs about the weird lesbians who are all dating

Cashiers sometimes make comments when they check out

Children stare at them and ask their parents why those 4 girls all kissed each other

Men come up to them and 'joke' about having a 5-way or showing them that one man could satisfy them more than 3 women

This would take its toll on anyone, even the solid teflon bitches themselves

If Chandler gets stressed or pissed off enough, she will start screaming at whoever pissed her off

Like its a Karen level screaming match

She calls out their every minute flaw and she has made multiple people cry with how devastating her insults get

Duke goes straight to violence

She might be small but she can punch hard

She's broken arms and ribs before and she does not feel bad about it

Whenever it looks like Duke is getting to that point, Mac will grab her arm incase she decides to attack

She has gotten arrested many times but they just throw money at them or the judge until they drop the charges

Mac bottles it all up until she can't hold it in anymore and breaks down

She'll just collapse onto her bed or the couch and just sob

The other girls try and comfort her but they’res nothing they can really do until she calms herself down

Veronica just tries to get out of the situation, either by just going 'ok ok you win' or just walking away

She wants to be like Chandler and just scream until her throat is sore but she doesn't have the confidence like her to draw all that attention to herself

Ok thats enough angst

More fluff

Chandler's favorite animal are cats

Duke once told her that she's literally just a cat in a human body and she hissed

Sometimes when they are laying down and Mac is playing with her hair she'll start purring

She loves how they're just little needy assholes

She's crushed that Heather the cat doesn't love her

The cat only tolerates her whenever she has treats

Duke loves giraffes bc they're tall and she's short

Its her dream to ride one while gloating that she's finally taller than Chandler

Mac loves all animals obviously

Dogs, Cats, Rabbits, Deer, if its big enough for her to hug she loves it

Heather the cat gets so mad if Mac's attention is taken by any person or animal when she wants attention

She will hiss and scratch until she gets what she wants

Chandler and the cat have a rivalry going on for Mac's attention

Veronica likes birds

Why? idk

She would totally teach a parrot to say something stupid to annoy a person, like 'Duke is short'

I think her favorite would be owls

Mac tried to do another game night, this time Wii Sports

She told Duke and Chandler that if they fought they had to sleep on the couch for a week and they weren't getting any affection

They tried, they really did

Baseball went ok, but during Tennis Duke started dominating and Chandler nearly swung her remote into Duke's face

During Bowling, Mac tried to get Duke to wear the wrist strap but Duke said "I'm a bad bitch I don't need no wrist strap"

The remote ended up flying into the wall

They just put a painting over it

Duke got like 5 strikes in a row, destroying Chandler

They faced each other during Boxing for the final round and once Duke won Chandler screamed and they tried choking each other out with the cord connecting the nunchuck to the wii

Chandler's favorite Disney movie is Sleeping Beauty bc she needs her beauty sleep to look good and she's just like her fr

Duke likes The Emperor's New Groove bc she likes the memes

Instead of telling someone to turn off the lights she'll say "pull the lever Kronk"

She will find any opportunity to insert a meme from that movie

Everyone else thinks its mid as hell and that pisses her off to no end

Mac's favorite is Frozen

She will sing Let it Go in the shower and when she's working

Her and Chandler went as Anna and Elsa for Halloween when they were like 5

Anna > Elsa

She hates Frozen 2 and will rant about it for hours if uninterrupted

Veronica likes the Dark Age Disney movies like Fox and the Hound and Sword in the Stone

Her parents had those DVDs at home so she watched them over and over again

For Christmas one year everyone got Chandler an industrial sized box of Corn Nuts bc Costco was having a sale that year to get rid of the backstock

Half of their pantry is just fucking Corn Nuts

Nicknames; Bc 3/4ths of them are named Heather so they need some way to differentiate themselves

Chandler: Chan, Chan-Chan, Chandy, Bitch

Duke: Duke, Ducky, Dukie

Mac: Mac, Macky, Sweetie, Sweetheart

Veronica: Ronica, Ronnie, Ronniekins, Ron, V, Sawyer

They're trying to convince Veronica to change her name to Heather to match the rest of them

Alternatively, they're all gonna be Heather Sawyer to confuse even more people

Chandler is Pansexual but rarely talks about men due to bad past experiences

Duke and Mac are both lesbian

Veronica is Bisexual but jokes she's 'Heatherseuxal'

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Even More Headcannons

Exactly what it sounds like

They are the house that hands out full-sized candy bars on Halloween

Mac always makes them dress up in a theme

They've done the Teletubbies, the Wizard of Oz (Duke was the Wicked Witch, she was not happy about the green makeup), The Golden Girls, the I'm In Love with the Villainess girls and her personal favorite, the South Park kids

She was Kenny, Duke was Kyle, Veronica was Stan and Chandler was Cartman

Sometimes Betty and Martha will join in on the theme

They tried to get one of them to be Noo-Noo the year they did Teletubbies but they both refused

JD swallowed his pride and went as Noo-Noo

JD hides in their bushes and scares the kids

Mac and Duke always eat too much candy and get stomachaches

Duke's snake is named Cornelius (if you get this reference you're awesome)

Chandler's cat is named Heather

She thought it would be funny (Heather Cat-ler, get it?)

Heather the cat sits atop her cat tower and hisses if anyone gets too close

But whenever Mac walks in she jumps down and starts purring

Basically she's just Chandler in cat form

Mac's Rabbit is named something cutesy like Munchkin

Catler hates the rabbit

She's just jelly that Mac isn't giving her attention

Whenever Duke annoys Veronica she'll pick her up and won't put her down

Duke is like 5'3 while Veronica is 5'11

Chandler is 5'5 and Mac is 5'9

Most people think Chandler is the tallest but its bc she always wears heels

Chandler is actually a huge scaredy-cat

She's afraid of rides at amusement parks, snakes, spiders/bugs, dogs, heights, blood, ghosts/the undead/zombies/etc., the youtube videos Veronica watches at 3am, and of course being abandoned and left alone forever but that last one is more bc of trauma than anything

She's really insecure about her fears, she's supposed to be the strong one who stares down her competition

Elaborating on the dog thing, if a dog ever comes close to her she'll scream and climb on whoever is close

JD totally has a dog but its like a golden retriever with a heart of gold named Spot and he uses it to scare Chandler

JD and Duke do chaos gremlin things together sometimes

One time they all got together and played UNO

They took all the +4 cards from the deck and hid them in their pockets and made Chandler sit between them

They would only use the +4 cards on her and she got so fucking mad

(She sat in the middle so even if things got reversed one of them could always +4 her)

Chandler may or may not have set the deck on fire

Veronica started watching One Piece and she was pretty much dead to the world for like 10 days or however long it takes to watch it all the way through

She was completely unresponsive to anything the Heathers did and it scared the hell out of them

Mac loves Pokemon and has like 10,000 plushes

Her favorites are the eeveelutions

Chandler and JD are slushy buddies and will often go to 7/11 and just talk about their trauma and shit

[humorisstoredinthetits]

More Headcannons

More Headcannons bc why not

Duke bought a nerf gun and started shooting Chandler

Why? Bc she's a chaos gremlin

She's super professional and helpful at her job, you have to be that way when you're working with kids, especially those who have gone through some stuff, but the second she comes home Ms. Duke is gone and chaos gremlin is back

After getting shot a few dozen times Chandler grabs Veronica and Mac and they go to the store and buy like $500 worth of nerf equipment

Seriously when they get back they look like the nerf SWAT team

A full on nerf war starts out around the house

It quickly becomes a free for all

Veronica breaks a lamp with her nerf sword

It was an ugly lamp anyway

After they've had their fun they're too lazy to pick up the darts

They're still finding darts lying around to this day

JD was upset they didn't invite him

Mac wanted to go to Disney World, she thought it would be fun and relaxing and even romantic maybe

Boy was she wrong

Chandler complains she has to wait in line like a peasant

She's also too afraid to go on any of the big rides

Duke and Veronica are adrenaline junkies while Chandler wont go on anything more thrilling than Dumbo

This unsurprisingly makes for a very poor combination of things

Gaston starts flirting with Mac when they see him and Duke and Veronica have to hold Chandler back from beating his ass

He shows off his muscles and then Mac rolls down her sleeves and flexes her strong cheerleader muscles all over him

Chandler gets legitimately scared in line for the Haunted Mansion and has to go through the chicken door

Duke and Chandler get into a fight after Toy Story Mania bc 'Duke cheated', 'No you cheated' and they wouldn't talk to each other for the rest of the day

Spoiler alert they both cheated

Chandler stepped on Dukes foot and Duke kissed Chandler during the final round, distracting her for a second

The Heathers get wasted when they go drinking around the world

This is an absolute nightmare for Veronica, especially bc they are acting like overgrown toddlers and won't listen to her

Next time they're going to the beach, Veronica is not dealing with this bullshit again

Veronica stays up to like 3am watching serial killer youtube videos

Mac hits her with a pillow until she puts the phone down

The Heathers+V are the most dysfunctional people but somehow together they make it work

Veronica owns like 2000 different pens and insists they are all necessary

They buy an Alaskan King Bed so they can all sleep together

This, like all other things is a disaster

Chandler is a blanket hog and will steal everyone's stuff

Duke snores, loudly

This makes Chandler want to smother her

Mac has had to stop that several times

Mac has a specific pillow and blanket she uses and if anyone steals it she gets upset

This pairs horribly with the blanket hog

Veronica's 3am youtube watching wakes up everyone with the bright ass screen

She is a heathen who uses light mode on everything

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Random Heathers Headcannons

These all take place in an AU where JD be more chill and decides that murder and slushies are not in fact the best ways to deal with mental illness and goes see a therapist, also Modern Times and PolyHeathers+V

The Heathers + Veronica have lots of money after Chandler and Duke's parents die in a "freak accident"

So maybe JD didn't fully shed his homicidal tendencies, just turned them on people who actually deserved it bc they were all shitty people who traumatized people he begrudgingly cares about

Big Bud Dean also mysteriously dies around this time in a freak accident involving being in a building right before it blows up

Being the only children of rich assholes whose family abandoned them for petty rich people reasons means they inherit the mansions and money, meaning the four of them can live in peace and don't have to get jobs unless they really want to

Veronica decides to write, since she doesn't have to worry about making it in the real world she can focus on her passion projects

Mac works with her Dad, who is alive because he did not contribute to her issues, that would be how society fails to meet the needs of autistic people, especially in education

She eventually is going to take over the engagement ring business, which is a pretty decent amount of income on top of their massive fortune

She also volunteers at animal shelters in her free time bc she loves animals

Duke initially says screw jobs but she quickly gets bored and decides to go into Child Psychology, she wants to help kids who were like her and had nowhere and no one to turn to, and help those in abusive situations to get out of them, bc JD can't just murder all of the abusive parents in the world, as great as that would be

Chandler thinks they are all crazy for taking jobs when they don't have to, but she gets bored as well waiting for them to get home so she starts doing all the chores

What she thought would originally be meaningless busywork actually becomes fun for her

It turns out she likes to cook, which is good bc if she didn't her gfs would would subsist entirely on hot pockets and coffee

She learns how to bake and the rest of them would often come home to fresh cupcakes or cookies

She also takes up gardening, which surprises her bc she thought she would hate having to get all up in the dirt

She's always buying different kinds of flowers to plant in the yard

Obviously she gets the most of heathers, duh

It feels like a final fuck you to her parents, who wanted her to become a rich asshole like the rest of their family

They sell the Duke residence to JD, Betty and Martha for cheap bc they don't need 2 houses (and bc they feel bad about how they treated them) while they all move into the Chandler Mansion

Life is chaotic as hell, but they all love it

Everyone besides Mac is a Night Owl, she has to drag them to bed at a reasonable hour otherwise they would stay up all night

They cannot function without their morning coffee

They occasionally play games, but this always turns out horribly

Take the Mario Party Incident for example

Mac just wanted them to all play together and have fun, so she booted up Mario Party, quickly forgetting how competitive Duke and Chandler are

They scream at each other the entire time, Veronica gives up around Round 4 and throws

At the end Chandler has the most stars, but Duke somehow gets all 3 bonus stars and ends up winning

Chandler fucking throws her controller through the TV

She sleeps on the couch that night

Or the time they tried to play Monopoly, but Duke set the board on fire after landing on Chandler's property with 3 hotels

Mac really wants to get a pet, she loves animals and there's plenty at the shelter waiting to be adopted

Duke is the holdout, she hates furry animals, but relents when she can get a snake

Veronica brings her cat JFK from her parent's place, Chandler gets a Maine Coon who only likes Mac and will hiss at everyone else, Mac gets a rabbit bc she loves them, they're just so tiny and fluffy and cute, and Duke gets a ball python

Chandler tried so hard to get the cat to like her, buying her all these toys and shit, but she'll always go to Mac for attention and hiss whenever Chandler gets close

Chandler hates the snake, in reality she's just scared, a fact which Duke takes full advantage of, like after the monopoly incident

Chandler goes to put on her war paint (makeup) when everyone hears a scream

Chandler is hiding in the corner, shaking at the sight of this small little ball python sitting in the cabinet

Duke is a chaos gremlin

Duke also sleeps on the couch that day

Veronica is a weeb and will binge anime all day if she has nothing else to do

She finds this one called I'm In Love With The Villainess bc one of the characters, Claire, looks a hell of alot like Chandler

She forces the Heathers to sit down and watch it with her, and they all agree Chandler is literally Claire

She starts calling Veronica 'commoner' after that

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Heathers Pokemon AU Part 2 (3/?)

Wow I cannot believe I am writing this much about a stupid Idea I had during work lol

So they beat the E4 through the power of friendship and homosexuality and eventually they get to Big Bud Dean who reveals his plans to take over the world and blah blah generic bad guy stuff

JD comes and confronts him and he reveals that JD's mom was also close to finding out the truth and he had her killed to protect his doings

This enrages JD and he initiates a battle

BBD's Team: Regirock, Regice, Registeel, Regidrago, Regieleki, Mega Metagross (All of these pokemon can learn explosion)

Any time one of JD's pokemon comes close to beating one of his, he uses Explosion, defeating whatever was on the field

The explosions trigger him but he shakes it off bc he has to do this, he needs to avenge his mom

He ends up beating his dad and the gym leaders come in with the PokePolice and everyone gets arrested, woooooo happy ending

I'm probably gonna write the rest of it later, I've wrote like 8000+ words about this and I'm tired

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Heathers Pokemon AU Part 2 (2/?)

I ran out of room lol and I barely made it halfway through one part

Continuing from where I left off

Palafin bc Zero to Hero is Percy's story, and then I chose pokemon with swords kinda and then those which are kinda derpy

Next is Northshore City with the Fairy-Type Leader, Regina George

Her Daddy paid the Pokemon League to have his daughter be the leader

Chandler sees so much of her old self in Regina and knows that she doesn't want to be like that anymore, but its hard to resist it

Her puzzle is to throw a party, because even Pokemon trainers need to have fun sometimes

She actually giggles with delight when she heard this, it beats sitting in the woods by a long shot

She starts to get back into her old habits while planning, bossing around Duke and Mac and being abrasive, even to her own Pokemon which she just swore to be nicer too

Veronica is the one who calls her out on her bullshit and she realizes that she's reverted back into her old self

She apologizes profusely to everyone and throws a party instead for her friends and pokemon, who have helped her and stayed by her side even when she was being a total bitch

She even baked a cake from scratch, which was the first time she ever actually made something for anyone

Regina wanted to fail her (cause like wheres the booze, and who tf likes corn nuts) but the League Officials think its cute so she's forced to pass

Regina's Team: Grimmsnarl, Aromatisse, Shiinotic, Mega Mawile, Clefable, Granbull

I really tried to pick out the most mean looking fairy types, but cmon its the fairy type its mean to be all girly and cute

Next is Arendelle City with the first Double Gym Leaders, being the Fire-Type Leader Anna and the Ice-Type Leader Elsa

Again not really a musical but I like the broadway adaptation so idc

They're sisters, separated when they were young because of an accident involving Elsa's Alolan Vulpix

Elsa became afraid of pokemon for a while because of what they did to her sister, the person she cares most about, but her parents wanted her to become a gym leader, because unlike other towns the Arendelle Gym Leader position is hereditary

So she was forced to face her fears day after day while her parents did nothing to soothe her or reassure her

Eventually they died (not fast enough in Anna's opinion, who was forced to see her sister go through her worst nightmare every day and who was ignored for the most part, on top of not being allowed to see her)

When it came time for her to take the position Elsa ran away only for Anna to chase after her and have a heart to heart

Eventually with her help Elsa was able to let go of her fear and her and Anna took joint custody of the position

(Yeah Ik its similar to Lillie from the anime, no I will not be taking criticism at this time)

Their puzzle is to do an act of True Love, because you need to take care of those that you care about, be they your family, partner(s) or Pokemon

Chandler decides its now or never to invite Veronica into the polycule

With the other Heathers and Gym Leader's help she sets up a date for Veronica under the disguise of it being her gym puzzle

They do everything she loves, they go bookshopping, seeing the sights of Arendelle, visiting Museums and talking to the historians (this makes Chandler want to bang her head against the wall but she perseveres) and eventually she asks Veronica to join

Obviously she says yes bc the Heathers have really shown they're not the bitches she remembers from high school, they've changed and she wants to spend the rest of her life with them blah blah romance

Anna's Team: Arcanine, Talonflame, Coalossal, Mega Blaziken, Salazzle, Ninetales

Elsa's Team: Cryogonal, Froslass, Aurorus, Mega Abomasnow, Baxcalibur, Alolan Ninetales

Most people think this gym is easy bc Anna's fire pokemon set up the sun which will allow them to easily take Elsa out and focus on her but they've developed a strategy where only one half of the field is covered in sun and the other in snow, making any unprepared challenger's strategy fall apart

For their teams, I just picked whatever really lol, besides the Ninetales, I think each of them having one is a cool idea

Finally, they reach Shiz City, home of the final leaders, The Psychic-Type Leader Glinda Upland and the Flying-Type Leader Elphaba Thropp

They're just good friends *wink wink*

Glinda was groomed by "The Wizard", a member of the E4 (Yes they are all manipulative scumbags) into being his representative in the Gym Leader circuit, similar to Jeremy and the SQUIP

Elphaba saw right through this and stopped it dead in its tracks and then they did the kiss

#Gelphie it should have been canon

'The Wizard' is trying to have them removed and has started a smear campaign against Elphaba, making accusations based on her skin (still green) and trying to get back into Glinda's good graces

Their puzzle is to do something good, because generosity is the most important aspect of being a member of society

Chandler struggles for a while trying to think of something she can do

She really wants to make up for her past mistakes, and with Veronica's urging she decided to make up with Martha on behalf of the Heathers and the rest of the student body

Martha is of course, furious and refuses her apology and any number of gifts

Her and Veronica have made up by this point but they're still on thin ice and won't listen when she tries to tell her how they've changed, and it doesn't help that she's started to date the people who used to bully her

Eventually Chandler gives up and says that she doesn't care what Martha thinks, and that she has changed and has made efforts to be a better person and as for Veronica, she finally tells her what actually happened they day they met and the fact that Veronica, who at that point Martha knew hated the Heathers, put herself into harm's way for them, makes her come more in line with Veronica's line of thinking that everyone still has some good in them and she is willing to hear her out

Things aren't great between them still but Martha no longer actively despises them, its a start

Glinda's Team: Hatterene, Xatu, Gothitelle, Mega Gardevoir, Starmie, Delphox

Elphaba's Team: Staraptor, Drifblim, Corviknight, Mega Salamance, Mandibuzz, Crobat

For Glinda I tried to pick out the most witchy, magicky kinda Psychic Types

For Elphaba, the only ones I really put too much though into were Salamance, bc it used to be this Bagon who wanted more than anything to fly kinda like Defying Gravity and Crobat bc its a friendship evo and I would imagine Elphaba is the type to be really loyal and trustworthy with her pokemon

So at this point the plot kicks in and the E4 and Champion, who surprise is Big Bud Dean, head of Team Rocket launch their plan

They use BBD's demolition company front (his 3rd job after being Champion and Team Rocket leader, don't think about it too hard) to try and bomb out land to search for the resting place of legendary pokemon to use to get power

They succeed in finding some and its up to the gang to take them out

Elite 4:

'The Wizard' - Rock Type; Glimmora, Drednaw, Kleavor, Mega Aggron, Gigalith, Terrakion (All of these are shiny besides Terrakion, bc theyre all green shinies, Emerald City)

'The SQUIP' - Poison Type; Seviper, Toxtricity-HK, Revaroom, Mega Venasaur, Sneasler, Pecharunt (Pecharunt is literally the SQUIP, it uses something you injest to take control of you and make it do your will)

Aaron Burr - Dark Type; Umbreon, Zoroark, Hydreigon, Mega Gyarados, Kingambit, Darkrai (Umbreon is a stalling pokemon and Kingmabit is best when used last, like Burr's philosophy of waiting for it, and Hydreigon and Gyarados represent the rage built up in him)

Luke Castellan - Fighting Type; Falinks, Toxicroak, Heracross, Mega Gallade, Sirfetch'd, Marshadow (All kinda have swords)

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Heathers Pokemon Au Part 2 (1/?)

So this is a continuation of my earlier post about this AU, I'm most likely not gonna end up writing anything about this bc my writing skills are pretty bad but I have way too many ideas so I'm just gonna write them down here

So the Heathers plus Veronica are just traveling around the region on their journey going to places for their own paths

Chandler is looking for Gyms, Duke for Ranger Stations and Mac for Contest Halls

Veronica doesn't really know what she wants to do and she figures that somewhere along the way she'll figure it out

In reality she can't focus on her future bc of how badly things are going with Martha, she knows she screwed up big time and doesn't know how to fix it, in addition to the weird love triangle between her, the Heathers and JD and that she actually doesn't know what she wants to do

From here I'm gonna go over the 3 major plot lines, its kinda like Scarlet and Violet where they'res 3 lines that each follow one of the friends (or in Veronica's case future girlfriends)

Gyms:

Like usual there are 8 gyms and once you beat them you challenge the Elite 4 and if you manage to beat them you challenge the Champion

Each Gym has a puzzle or task before you can challenge the leader, each one is set by the League to ensure that the Trainers coming through have the skills to be able to make it

Each Leader or E4 member is another musical character bc why not

The 1st is in Tudor City, home of the Ghost-Type Leader Anne Boleyn

She's part of a group of trainers called 'The Six' who each pretend to be the ghost of a wife of an ancient Galarian King who have risen from the dead due to unfinished business

They have shows where they hold a tournament between themselves to see who gets to be the Gym Leader until the next show

Imagine WWE but with Pokemon battles instead of wrestling

So when the gang gets to the city Anne happens to be the one whose won the most recent tournament

For her task Chandler has to help out for the next show, like help set up props, maintenance etc. to show thats she's willing to put in the hard work to live this kind of life and not just take the easy path

She complains, like alot

She thinks its stupid and beneath her and bitches and moans but she does end up doing it

Anne's Team (This and every other team is at their peak, just de-evolve the pokemon and remove as necessary to get the gym teams): Polteageist, Cofagrigus, Ceruledge, Mega Gengar, Mismagius, Aegislash

Swords bc get it thats how she died and Gengar and Mismagius bc she's more on the playful side of Ghost-Types, not all broody like Catherine of Aragon

Chandler wins but just barely, she didn't realize that this was gonna be this hard and she knows its gonna take a whole lot more work than she's been giving it

Bc of her need to always be the best this is where she starts pushing her pokemon harder than she should

Next is Washington City (very original ik) with the Normal-Type Leader Alexander Hamilton

Hamilton used to be an Elite Four member but bc of a scandal involving his wife he was demoted to Gym Leader while his rival, Aaron Burr, was promoted

He's just the teeniest tiniest bit salty about that

The puzzle is a quiz, but bc Hamilton made it its really hard and unnecessarily complicated, the idea being that a Pokemon Trainer must have the knowledge for many situations, bc being a Trainer is unpredictable

Chandler fails, obviously, she's out of school why does she have to take more tests

The other Heathers force her to sit down and prepare, with no small amount of bitching and promises of Corn Nuts

She takes it again and passes, thank Arceus

Hamilton's Team: Smeargle, Oranguru, Exploud, Mega Lopunny, Porygon-Z, Braviary

Smeargle bc writing, Exploud bc Hamilton can't keep his damn mouth shut, Lopunny bc its mega ability is Scrappy, just like his country, and Braviary bc Merica fuck yeah and the rest just bc

Next is Middlebrough City with the Electric-Type Leader, Jeremy Heere

He used to be under the tutelage of one of the E4, a man who goes only by 'The SQUIP' but it turns out he was making Jeremy do shit he didn't really want to and other heinous acts he broke free

But bc the SQUIP has connections and money he didn't lose his job

His puzzle is a little personal, using technology and his Alolan Raichu he scans their traveling companions and makes holograms to try and convince them to do things they otherwise wouldn't want to do, because a good trainer should be able to recognize when a situation is bad and get themselves out of it

Its a little messed up but Jeremy knows the importance of using your brain and thinking

So the trainers are told that the puzzle is just talking to their friends bc they want to see how they get along

There are images of Duke, Mac and Veronica all trying to convince Chandler to take some pill that promises to make her popular, even more so than before, that it will make it effortless, but Chandler resists

(Im not super proud of that one, I just couldn't come up with any other ideas)

Jeremy's Team: Eleketross, Toxtricity-LK, Electrivire, Mega Manetric, Alolan Raichu and Magnezone

His team was really hard, theyre arent alot of techy Electric Types

Next is Westview City with the Grass-Type Leader, Evan Hansen

The Leader position used to be held by his friend, Connor, but he did what he did in canon, leaving the position to his only friend, the only person he felt like cared about him as a person

Evan took it really hard and it took some time but he eventually accepted both what had happened and the role

The puzzle is to write a reflection letter on how your journey had gone so far, because now was the halfway mark, and its important for trainers to look back on where they've been

Its something that Evan wishes Connor would've done, to see all the people who did honestly care about him

Chandler thinks this is stupid AF and tries to get Veronica to do it but she refuses

Her first draft is really bad, its along the lines of "ive learned this is stupid and that im the best, signed Queen HC"

On her second draft they all sit down with her and talk, and the other Heathers talk about how their lives have been changed because of her and what shes done for them

Duke talks about how uncaring she was, just kinda floating through life before they met and Chandler added spice to the mix, and gave her something and someone to care about

Mac reminds her of how they met in Kindergarten, about how no one wanted to be friends with the weird autistic girl who talked about My Little Ponyta all the time and how lonely she was but then she came up to her on her own volition and wanted to be her friend and how much that meant to her

Its around here Veronica's illusion of the Heathers being untouchable is shed completely, sure she knows the solid teflon isn't as solid as it may appear but she didn't realize how flimsy the facade actually was

She's also struck by the similarity between how Chandler and Mac met and how her and Martha met

The new letter actually makes Evan cry

Evan's Team: Tropius, Torterra, Trevenant, Mega Sceptile, Abomasnow, Exeggutor

They're all trees, need I say more

Next is 'Camp' Half-Blood Village, with the Water-Type Leader Percy Jackson

Yes I know its not really a musical but there is a PJO musical so it counts, screw the rules I have money

Percy and his rival Luke used to be friends and fellow gym leaders

Luke taught Percy pretty much everything he knows about being a Trainer, he was his mentor and someone he looked up to like a Brother, that is until he was given the opportunity to become a E4 member if he just took care of an issue

That issue being his friend Annabeth, who was getting a little too close to figuring out what was really going on at the Pokemon League

Percy defeated Luke in a battle and saved Annabeth, but was succesfully scared into silence, or at least being more sneaky with whats going on

His puzzle is to go on a Killer Quest, where they send Chandler out into the woods with nothing but her Pokemon and she needs to make it through the night, the point being that there won't always be a Pokemon Center and she might have to spend the night in the woods, which Chandler had avoided so far bc if anyone sees her without her beauty sleep and 10 pounds of makeup she will lose it

She is of course, pissed off, and she takes it out on her Pokemon, who have had enough of her shit, especially with the hellish training, and refuse to listen and help her with building a camp or getting food

Eventually they have a heart to heart about it and she understands how she was hurting her pokemon and vows to do better as their Trainer

Percy's Team: Palafin, Empoleon, Azumarill, Mega Swampert, Samurott, Kingdra

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Heathers Pokemon AU

Veronica Sawyer: Pokemon Researcher

Assistant to Prof. Fleming

While starting her journey, she encountered Ram and Kurt, who work for Team Rocket, trying to harass the Heathers and steal their Pokemon, and stepped in and beat them in a battle

The Heathers, being the useless Lesbians they are, invited her to their group seeing not only her strength, but also that she was hot

Veronica, who was unsure about what she really wanted out of life, decided to join them in their journey, forgetting that she was planning on traveling with Martha

Martha gets extremely upset and ends their friendship over this, bc the Heathers, more specifically Duke, bullied her in the past and she couldn't believe that Veronica would choose her bullies over her

Veronica is desperate to reconnect but is afraid their friendship has gone past a point of no return

She meets JD on her travels and she enters a love triangle between her, him and the Heathers

Eventually develops feelings for the Heathers after spending so much time with them over her travels and seeing their soft sides

Decides to study ancient Pokemon, more specifically Hisuian forms after discovering them with JD

Team;

Blastoise (Mega) - Starter given by Fleming

Aurorus - Found as a Sail Fossil while stuck in a cave with JD

Hisuian Liligant - Started Veronica's interest in Hisuian Forms, discovered in a special grove for the few remaining Hisuian Pokemon

Espeon - Given as an Eevee by the Heathers as a gift for joining their group

Corviknight

Chandelure

Heather Chandler: Pokemon Trainer

Wants to be the very best, aiming to become Champion

Absolutely loathes JD

Has a bad habit of pushing her Pokemon too hard in training to try and get them to be stronger

Her Pokemon build a resentment towards her because of how she treats them, and it's part of why JD doesn't like her

Eventually Mac had to step in and mediate between Chandler and her Pokemon because they refused to listen to her any longer

Her first instinct is to throw money at any of her problems, if that fails she sends out her Blaziken and threatens to burn down the building if she doesn't get her way

Being out in the world away from her family shows her that she can't always get what she wants and that anger gets her nowhere

Is already in an established relationship with the other Heathers when they meet Veronica, but when they meet her they all agree to try and invite her into their relationship eventually

This is the other point of contention between her and JD, they both fight over who gets to seduce her without Veronica finding out

Team:

Blaziken (Mega) - Starter

Jolteon - Gift from Mac when they first became friends

Tsareena

Nidoqueen

Kingdra - The 3 of them are all regal Pokemon, which help feed into her superiority complex

Annihilape - The straw that broke the camerupt's back with her Pokemon, she pushed her Primeape too far that it got so angry that it died and evolved into Annihilape and went on a rampage

Heather Duke: Pokemon Ranger

She travels to different ranger stations around the region, essentially interning at them to see where she would like to work after she finishes her journey

The cook for the group

Her and Martha were friends when they were really little, Martha gifted her a Ralts from her parent's Gardevoir who had twin eggs

They fell apart after Duke became friends with the Heathers and they started bullying Martha

Her Ralts evolved into Gallade while Martha's evolved into Gardevoir and they have an intense rivalry

She's really guilty about how she treated Martha, but is too afraid to apologize to her, especially because of how the Heathers took Martha's best friend twice now

Team;

Meowscarada - Starter

Vaporeon - Gift from Mac when they became friends

Gallade

Honchkrow

Pyroar (Female)

Scizor - Caught bc it would be useful with Ranger stuff, like cutting down branches to get through the woods

Heather McNamara: Pokemon Breeder

Her Dad breeds rare pokemon such as regional variants or uncommon Pokemon, like Eevee

Thats where Mac keeps getting the Eevees to give to people, she gives them out as a sign of friendship

She dislikes battling, bc she hates seeing them getting hurt

She's been around Pokemon as long as she can remember, eventually she will take over the family business

Has a soft spot for orphaned/injured Pokemon

Occasionally participates in contests, she thinks they are fun and a opportunity to show off the unique pokemon her dad breeds

Her and Martha had a heart-to-heart after one contest

Martha had completely dominated the contest, she worked her butt off

Mac came to congratulate her after bc she could see how hard Martha had worked and Martha got really upset bc she expected a rich popular girl like her to throw a fit over not winning and the fact that she was congratulating her was messing with her perceptions of how the Heathers were

Mac opened up to her about the Heathers and how Duke and Chandler just use their bitchiness as a front and how Duke really does feel bad about how she treated her in the past

In return Martha vented about how the Heathers had treated her and how abandoned she felt by Veronica choosing them over her and Mac apologized and told her about how they met and why she actually joined

Team;

Ampharos (Mega) - Starter, Ampharos is a common guardian pokemon at the ranch her dad owns so she was given a Mareep to start out with

Flareon - One of the Eevees that her dad bred, she was given as a present

Alolan Ninetales - Another present from her dad

Bewear - During her journey, she found a orphaned and injured Stufful alone and dying, she nursed it back to health and it joined her team

Gengar - Found pulling pranks on people while they were at a Ranger station, the Rangers + Duke stopped it and it took a liking to Mac

Lapras - It was being attacked by some Sharpedo, and after the Heathers defeated them, it joined Mac's team as thanks

JD: Pokemon Trainer

He's on the run from his Dad, Big Bud Dean, who is the leader of Team Rocket

His dad uses pokemon who are able to explode to threaten people into handing over their pokemon, money or whatever he's after

Bc of this, JD developed a fear of any pokemon that can use explosion, like Golem, Electrode, etc.

He wants to confront his dad, but bc of his fear he can't do it alone and is journeying for strong trainers who can help him

Finds Martha shortly after the initial confrontation with the Heathers and befriends her and joins her on her travels

He shouts super loudly during her contests, to the point of embarrassing Martha

Falls in love with Veronica when they first meet

This starts a rivalry with him and Chandler, and he always beats her in battle because of how she treated her pokemon

Once she starts treating them right, she starts to win against him

Tries to get Veronica to leave the Heathers and apologize to Martha

He doesn't actually hate the Heathers, he just dislikes how they changed Veronica, at least from what Martha told him

Team;

Hydreigon - Starter, it has rage issues and JD rarely brings it out

Tyrantrum - Found as a Jaw fossil in the same cave Veronica found her Sail fossil

Vanilluxe - FRRRREEEEEZZZZZEEEEEEE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRRR BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNN but fr it makes slushies which he couldn't otherwise get while not in towns

Lucario (Mega)

Basculegion - Caught at the same time that Veronica got her Hisuian Liligant

Crobat - Caught during an argument with Chandler over how she treats her Pokemon, arguing that JD had no room to judge her bc he wasn't friends with his Pokemon either, so he caught a Golbat and said that by the next time they met it would be a Crobat (bc Golbat evolves via friendship), and sure enough it was

Martha Dunnstock: Contest Star

When she found out that Veronica was going to join the Heathers, she became livid that she was losing her best friend to the Heathers for a second time

This inspires her to become Contest Champion by herself, to prove that she doesn't need friends to succeed

That was the first time in her life that she had stood up for herself, and while it felt good, she regretted the way she broke her friendship with Veronica and after she realized that Veronica probably didn't realize that joining the Heathers meant abandoning her

But she decided that she will not go back to Veronica unless she apologizes first

Prefers Fairy Types

Team;

Gardevoir (Mega)

Galarian Rapidash - Won as a prize from the Contest that Mac had joined earlier, Mac hoped to get it to give to her Dad to breed more bc Galarian Rapidash are hard to come by. Martha had wanted one since she was a kid and was part of why she worked so hard to win that contest

Sylveon - Evolved from the Eevee Mac gave her after their heart-to-heart

Mimikyu - She found it all scared and alone, and she related to it's story of being a Pokemon that disguised itself so that people would love it, and it joined her team

Togekiss

Azumarill

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Trans Elsa! AU

So Elsa is AMAB

No one knows she wants to be a girl except for Anna

One night she is playing with Anna, her parents come in, hear Anna call her ‘Elsa’ and flip out

Elsa gets stressed, magic goes out of control, striking Anna in the head

They go to the trolls, they heal Anna, but her Dad also has them remove any memory of ‘Elsa’

He tries to get them to do the same for Elsa but they aren’t transphobic and they already don’t like they had to do it to Anna so they refuse

He tries to threaten them but Grand Pabbie threatens to not heal Anna and that shuts him up

They do the same as in canon, locking her in her room until she can control her magic and “get over this phase”

They eventually get on the boat and die, but my this time they’ve drilled the fear of what people will do to her if they find out into her and she stays closeted

Coronation Day comes around and she’s stressed because on top of everything else she’s gonna have to listen to people call her by her deadname and King, even Anna, the one person who used to be supportive

Same things happens, Anna tries to get married to Hans, Elsa says no

Shouting occurs, Anna says “you can’t do this to me (deadname)” and Elsa, fed up with the misgendering and the stress building, screams back “My name is Elsa!” And her magic breaks loose

She runs away, Anna is confused as hell and runs after her

Elsa has her let it go moment, where she accepts who she is and somehow uses her magic to grow out her hair and make her look female, idk how, magic

She meets Kristoff and they meet Olaf, who says that Elsa made him

Anna, still confused, says something about her brother calling herself Elsa and Kristoff puts 2 and 2 together and explains what being trans is to Anna

Anna has no problem with this at all, she’s just upset that Elsa ran away instead of explaining

They go to the Ice Palace and see Elsa all girlifed and Anna is super supportive and talks about how she can’t wait to do sister stuff with Elsa

For a moment, Elsa lets herself belive she can have that with Anna, before the fear takes over again and her magic strikes Anna in the heart

They leave, go to the trolls and explain what happened, the trolls are like “good for her she finally accepted herself”

Hans captures Elsa, using the fact that she somehow just switched genders to further justify to Arendlle that she’s evil

Yada Yada Frozen Heart, Act of True Love, Hans Sucks

After Hans gets kicked out, Elsa starts her reign but has issues with misgendering and deadnaming from her advisors and from the town

In response, Kristoff, Anna and Olaf from the “Elsa Protection Squad” and they go around threatening anyone who misgenders Elsa

It actually works