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i need a $10,000 grant to go cluuuuubbbingggg

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i am on a language learning spree at the moment. 6.5 hours of german classes per week + my little german club where we chat at the pub + i’m about to bí ag fheabhsú mo chuid gaeilge sa pop up gaeltacht. fluency eludes me but enthusiasm i have in spades.

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i was home in ireland for a week, back to b*rlin tomorrow and feeling very mixed up. physical ache from preemptively missing my family. exacerbated by the knowledge that my sister moves across the world at the end of summer. we lay in bed beside each other and we both cried. small family holiday in clare, it’s so beautiful down here, lakes are nice but i miss waves when i go for a swim near the city. leaving tomorrow will be painful but i love the life i’m living and my sister is going to have the most incredible adventure. i just wish selfishly that she’d chosen somewhere a little closer to home.

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Very whimsical scene on the train yesterday evening

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THE DAY I GO BACK TO BERLIN! are you joking me ! and tickets are only €22! what!!!

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started a new german course and it is sooo difficult. yesterday was the first day and i felt very 😵‍💫 ! all of the other students were using the craziest words, we had to describe ourselves as a feature of the landscape and somebody said they were a small brook, somebody else was (i think ??) a tributary … entirely out of my depth but hoping it’s a good thing as it will challenge me to learn faster and concentrate quite hard.

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starting a new german course that i’m kind of excited about But there’s one i’m starting directly after that one concludes that i am reeeally excited about !!!! we will go on cultural excursions together and talk about them :-D yes it has been a difficult few weeks in some ways but my life is still charmed <3 i can make so many exciting choices. in 2025 the most sociable and aimless year of my life thus far 🦋🪽🌀

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i think this is my worst-feeling day of 2025 thus far. cried in bed, cried in the hallway of the apartment building, cried at the laundromat, tried not to cry on a disastrous work call. in bed now with earplugs in and headphones on and a cup of tea trying to feel more normal. trying to relax a little. and then i will start working again. dealing with a minor disaster in my life and it has been so upsetting and draining. i hope you are all doing better, may can be a beautiful month! i hope tomorrow is better than this.

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aoife with harp. carried it with me on the s bahn. 45 minute journey (including 7 minute walk on either side), very awkward quite heavy a bit scary because i’m renting it but i got it home safe!!! this week i work and visit my brother. in two weeks’ time i start an evening course to improve my german. in three weeks’ time i go home to see my family. life feels so busy but also quite good i think. work fading into the background leaving space for the things i really want to do <3

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moved into apartment, started a freelance job. things are moving soooo fast. i think it is all going to work out though. sun is out and it’s been chilly most mornings. we were followed home into our building the other night we yelled at him and ran up the stairs, when i lie on the bed and look out the window i can’t see the building across from us only the tree its leaves the finches living inside it. language learning has kind of stopped but i am going to start again soon. there’s just so much to do!