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Bussy Bär Kratzeis war auch shit. 1.20 euro für einen becher kaltes, farbiges wasser und einen Plastiklöffel

i wish German people were real

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'problem'

The problem with sewing is that you quickly realise you have dumped lots of skill points into control thread and furthermore, there’s a lot of other hobbies that require control thread so you decide to pick up knitting, or crochet, or weaving, and then spinning happens to you, or rug making, or cord weaving, and then you turn the wrong corner on the internet and find out control thread also specs into basket weaving, and book binding, and then you’re thinking things like “I wonder if this also applies to lead climbing” and now you have A Problem

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i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

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Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

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observation: among a certain subset of tumblr users, the term “blorbo” has become unchic, but the concept it describes is still important; and so it has been replaced with “The Character”

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I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

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big black dragon

reverse mimic (doesnt look like a chest, can be used as one, kills you on sight)

the bad, grey people, as apposed to the normal beige ones

Tall guy, so overstimulated, he kills you if he hears you

witch

scentient materialist pig

weird bats conjured from your sleep deprived mind

minecraft monsters are so fucking funny weve got

zombies which look like the default player character. this has no lore implicatjons

skeletons. inexplicably they carry bows.

spiders that are two metres wide and hiss like snakes (imagine how fucking terrifying this would be in real life)

walking bush that wants nothing more than to explode while standin next to you. also theyre afraid of cats

three metre tall guy with social anxiety so bad they try to kill you if you look at them. also they can teleport

really sad ghost

zombies 2: underwater edition

spiders again but now they poison you

fish that kills you with a mind beam

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in the minecraft world do youthink people would use "they dug straight down" as code for someone dying

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Sometimes I have to remind my dad that he’s a master furniture maker and most people do not possess encyclopedic knowledge of European and American furniture styles and the history of wood glue

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I need my non-german follows to know about Harambe 2.0: the 2m fish that was shot because it kept biting people who swam in the lake even though it was just protecting its eggs </3

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just learned about dopamine decor and i feel crazy

tiktok people are just now discovering you can put things in your living space that you like. , Guys

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you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

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Being the only bi cis guy amongst almost exclusively trans friends and peers is wild because in theory its like im living in a horny manga where all of a dudes friends turn into hot babes, but in reality they are hunting me like the last bison on the prairie. 5 years ago I mentioned bionicle and one of them asked when I was starting estrogen.

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Also do german accents by going completely overboard with some random german dialect.

In want you to give Beatrix Zom 100 the strongest possible Bremer Platt

i think german dubbing is too cowardly. when the original character has an accent, give them an accent in the german dub!! and if they have a dialect give them a dialect!!! death to forced Hochdeutsch everywhere

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I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"