hylias-funniest-jester

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Religion is one of those tricky things for me.

I like signs, I like messages, I like knowing that I'm not alone, or that someone is looking out for me.

But I fear I've become too depressed, too nihilistic, to recognise anything like that.

I'm struggling hard right now, especially with knowing my place in this world and my direction in life.

I dont think praying is going to get me out of this, but at least it brings me some comfort.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Had a dream where I was a hero trying to solve puzzles in a temple dedicated to Hylia.

I rarely have dreams to do with LoZ, but when I do, they always have something to do with Hylia.

I'm still trying to figure out the meaning, if there is one that is.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Does anyone have any spells/enchantments that can ward off curses?

I've had to cut out a fellow witch from my life and I want to cover all my bases.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Despite everything going on rn, despite how many times I've cried myself to sleep while praying to Hylia...my faith in her and the three golden goddesses is still strong.

They will all see me through this, even if I cry at my altar a bit too much lmao

[hylias-funniest-jester]

I think Hylia woke me up from a trauma nightmare.

I was deep in it, and I feel a hand touch my shoulder, and a very distinct female voice say 'the worst of it is over now'

And I woke up, dazed but I was finally awake.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Light of Blessing, Spirit Orb, and Stamina Vessel/Heart Container Ritual

Each of the orbs serve a different purpose, and it's best not to try and do all of these rituals at once. The orbs can be made of anything (crystal, metal, wood, rubber, cat toy w/e. I used marbles I found in the yard). It's a good idea to cleanse your item before you do the ritual. Doing this ritual will program this item to act as the blessing, orb, or vessel, so make sure you don't use it for unrelated rituals.

Light of Blessings are to purify and cleanse yourself of negative, unusable, and unwanted energy. Good to do as part of a routine.

Spirit Orbs are tokens of Hylia's grace used to imbue you with courage. Good to do after a huge defeat or before a challenging task. This is a transaction of power, so be prepared with an offering.

Stamina Vessels and Heart Containers are to restore your energy, especially if there is a specific issue draining you. Good for when you've lost motivation. Also a transaction of power but the source is more universal than straight from the Goddess. You will get what you put in! Good to do as part of a routine as well.

You will need:

Orb/Object you can hold in your hands

Shrine/Designated area for orb (bowl, pedestal, stand, bag)

Offering (candle, incense, food, etc)

Prep:

This is going to be a mainly meditation-based ritual so make sure you have a non-distracting area to do this. For a more ceremonial feel, wear white loose-fitting clothing. for the MOST ceremonial feel, wear a head covering.

Ritual:

Light your candles and incense if that is your offering. Set out any food or objects for offering in front of you. Sit or stand in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and take deep breaths, keeping your body loose but not limp.

Once you feel you have found a steady breathing rhythm, take your orb and fold your hands around it, close to your chest and pray.

[FOR LIGHT BLESSING

Light of Blessing, holy relic that imprisons and purifies ancient evil, may you shine upon me so I may be cleansed.

Take your orb and rub it in circles around your chest, imagining the negative energy being released from your body and absorbed into the orb. Feel free to cry, sing, stomp, jump, etc, whatever your body does to release energy.

Once you are ready, hold the orb in both of your hands. Take a deep breath and SLOWLY pull your hands away from your chest, still holding the orb. Imagine the negative energy being pulled away from your body. When your arms are fully outstretched, open your hands and offer the orb to its designated spot.

End the ritual by saying 'May you grant the strength I seek'.

LEAVE the orb until the next day/night change, so if you do this in the morning, wait for the sun to go down, if you do this at night, wait for the sun to come up, or however long you feel it takes for the orb to purify your energy. After that, you are now free to meditate with the orb, carrying it around, etc etc, but don't forget to repeat the process when it starts to feel heavy or your energy is wack.]

[FOR SPIRIT ORB

Goddess Hylia, I bring these offerings so you may grant me the courage to face the adversities ahead.

Meditate with the orb, tell her of the challenge you are going to face and what your best case scenario would be. Courage comes in many forms, it may be the courage to stand up for yourself, the courage to fail and learn, or the courage to walk away.

Once you are ready, open your palms to cradle the orb. Take a deep breath and slowly raise it up as high as you are comfortable holding. Imagine Her light pouring into the orb.

Once you are ready, slowly lower your hands back down, placing the orb against your chest.

End the ritual by saying 'May you smile upon me in my time of need'

You are now free to take this orb with you, meditate etc. Dispose of your offerings properly (burning,burying, eating, garbage can, etc)]

[FOR STAMINA VESSEL/HEART CONTAINER

Goddess Hylia, please bless me with the vitality to endure so that I may continue my quest for peace and balance.

Take your orb and rub it in between your hands, meditating on drawing in energy to you. If it helps, imagine hearts being added to your health meter and more rings added to your stamina wheel. Rub the orb as fast or as slow as you feel necessary.

Once you are ready/hands are tired, hold the orb still against your chest. Take a few deep breaths.

End the ritual by saying 'I shall go forth and bring peace to the land'.

You are now free to take this orb with you, leave it on an altar, etc. ]

Feel free to make any additions or changes to personalize the ritual, I would love to hear about anyone's experiences or results!

[hylias-funniest-jester]

I love you silly witchcraft. I love you pop culture deities. I love you arts and crafts magic. I love you action figures on altars. I love you reconnecting with childhood wonder in magic. I love you getting weird with magic. I love you cringe magic.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Even if you can’t hear your deities, they hear you

Even if you can’t see your deities, they see you

Even if you can’t feel your deities, they’re there and they love you

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Ordered some nice candles for my altar as I don't yet have anything for any of the gods on there.

Got one for each of the three golden goddesses, and then my friend has ordered me a goddess statue to represent Hylia!

I'm hoping that once we find a better house, I can have a lil area dedicated to them, bc rn my altar is just on my chest of drawers and it's covered in books and miscellaneous odds and ends.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Your deities want you to love and value your self

[hylias-funniest-jester]

how to enchant something without leaving the comfort of your bed

for my witches who get easily burnt-out :)

you'll need:

3 battery powered tealight candles (DO NOT USE REAL CANDLES IN YOUR BED !!!)

the object you want to enchant

1. cast a circle

2. turn on your candles and arrange them in a triangle around your object (see example below)

3. rub your hands together to charge your energy, then hold your hands over your object and visualize your intent flowing into your object. slowly move your hands closer to the object as you charge it, eventually touching it as you finish up. continue holding it until you feel you are at peace. feel free to close your circle and turn off your tealights, you have enchanted your object :)

optional: play your favorite music to cleanse your area with sound

hope this helps!

[hylias-funniest-jester]

I realized I don't have any hyrule specific spreads, so I'm working on putting some together. pardon my great graphic design I'm using ms paint and a touchpad

A good spread for when Calamaties hit! This spread is intended to be a good pep talk while giving you a nudge in the right direction. Use it to get messages from the Goddesses or with any spirit!

[hylias-funniest-jester]

I fell in love with one of my childhood game series again last year, and after practicing in private a bunch, I decided to worship the gods from Legend of Zelda, bc thats also what child me would do.

I threw away the fear of being 'cringe' bc child me did not know cringe.

And now i do all sorts of funny and silly spells, I mix kitchen herbs together and throw them on a candle, for the first time in my life...I feel free!

If you want really powerful spells that work 90% of the time i have one important tip for you

PLEASE incorporate your childlike wonder into your spells

When i was little i could see spirits, i made "potions" with random plants in pretty bottles of water. I read and took notes of spiderwick chronicles feild guide, dragonology books and those fairy pop up books.

I incorporate this into my practice by rereading those kid books. The dragonology book had anglo saxon runes and translations branded as "dragon language" and now i use that alphabet in sigils not because im a norse pagan but because they're connected to my childhood. I still take little notes of the spiderwick chronicales because some things are based off of real folk lore. I make spell bottles not because its popular, but because i did it as a kid. I work with spirits and clairvoyance because again, that was my childhood.

If you're struggling with creating a reliable spell please try asking yourself "what would kid me do?" Because giving your younger self a voice and space for self expression not only makes your spells more powerful, but also heals your inner child.

Its technically really chill shadow work.

Working with every part of yourself makes spell casting actually reliable.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

So, some thoughts on what it means to be an aspect of Courage (Farore's domain).

I have been through so much, and throughout most of my life, I have always believed I was a coward (something I still struggle with).

To be an aspect of Courage at this point in my life feels like a blessing, like a weight has been lifted.

I am stronger and more courageous than I believe.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

No longer a satanist, you can unfollow if you just followed for that, but if you want to watch my journey into a new religion, feel free to stick around :)

[hylias-funniest-jester]

Oof, haven't done proper spell work in...a long while and man, it sure does take a lot of energy out of me.

[hylias-funniest-jester]

The joyofsatan.org creeps appear to be making the rounds in inboxes again.

Reminder to not respond to them. Block any ask from them. Do not give them any attention. Ignore their bullshit.