i-am-purplexed
i-am-purplexed
Rarely Purple, Constantly Lexed
628 posts
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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nasty faggotses........
WHYY IS HOMOPHOBIC SMEAGOL IN MY INBOX
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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I'm going to steal everything that is not nailed on the ground in this game.
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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This is where I peaked tbh.
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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Reblog to give a trans person a fresh and perfectly ripe mango wait huh
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It's the wikipedia image??? How big could it be
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What
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Huh???
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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As part of her social media detox this girl on YouTube made herself do one hour of understimulating tasks every day and she just counted rice for 60 minutes straight because its no different from doomscrolling in terms of wasted time
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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I'm sorry, I don't believe that anyone who has read regularly since childhood would still count Harry Potter as the best book they've ever read.
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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happy glorious 25th of may
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i-am-purplexed · 4 days ago
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I need y'all to watch this clip
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i-am-purplexed · 5 days ago
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Hakoda the Grief Pirate it's time for Hakoda the Grief Pirateeee
Kya is killed, as in canon. Unlike canon, Bato is killed too. This means that rather than join the war, Hakoda goes mad with grief and gathers a few ships' worth of men - desperate, brutal men who want to repay the cruelty of the Fire Nation in kind. Not soldiers, not sailors, killers.
And he takes Katara.
The first place he goes is the Northern Water Tribe. He gets an audience. He goes to Chief Arnook and the elders and says: either I leave here today with a master for my daughter, or none of us leave this room alive.
Katara gets a master.
As in canon, Katara is a prodigy. With a year to focus on her waterbending and drilled by a man wearing her father's face who tells her "we're all going to die doing this" and "but we'll bleed them a thousand times over for every one of us" and most importantly he says "we're going to avenge your mother" - growing up under that man, Katara becomes terrifying.
Sokka is left alone. The last bit of love in his father's heart was spent on him, though he doesn't know it. It was spent on leaving him. It was spent on sparing him from seeing what his father would become.
Sokka goes out often, looking for traders and sailors and ships. He finds no news and too little fish. Until one day, an iceberg cracks open.
The boy is young and Sokka hasn't been a big brother for a while now, but it turns out that it's like riding a penguin - you never really forget. So when Aang gets kidnapped by some ponytailed jerk, of course he goes after him.
That he only manages to ruin Aang's escape and get them both captured is beside the point, okay? The Fire Jerk cheated.
(Appa follows them, if you're wondering. Aang doesn't seem to be in any real danger. Zuko isn't an especially merciless captor, no matter how he tries.)
Sokka finally gets some news. The Frost Wolf is believed to be a Northern raider (to protect his tribe from reprisals) and he is feared. He leaves only one survivor in each of his raids. He tasks them to deliver a simple message: the seas are no longer safe for the Fire Nation. He replenishes his crew with convicts and pirates. They say he has a crazy mechanist working for him. They say that an icy fog follows where he goes, blocking out the sun and chilling Firebenders to the core. They say he can't be killed.
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"So, these guys of yours -" Sokka began and paused to let the answering "they're not my guys!" wash over him, "do they say anything about a girl?"
The Prince's ears reddened. "I don't listen to that kind of filth."
Which means you have listened, Sokka might have said if he felt like teasing. He didn't.
"Not like that! A girl, a little younger than me. Have you heard anything about that?"
Sokka held his breath. This was it. Of course, it didn't mean anything if Zuko hadn't heard...
"No." The Prince's voice was unusually quiet. Zuko's good eye glinted in the orange light of the torches.
Sokka couldn't help that his exhale caught in his throat on the way out, it wasn't - it was just a shock, he reasoned, it didn't mean anything that Zuko hadn't heard...
Zuko stood up and made to walk out. He stopped at the door.
"I'm sorry," the Prince said. "I have a sister, too."
The door closed and Sokka was left alone and with questions. Questions like:
How did he know?
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The trip to the Fire Nation is long. Any experienced commander could have told Zuko to limit his interactions with the prisoners. To rotate out their guards and never have their meals brought by the same person if he could avoid it. Any experienced military commander would have seen the risk of two child prisoners, one of who is particularly genial and charming while the other is funny and sarcastic.
Iroh, one of the most experienced military commanders alive, encourages Zuko to learn all he can about his enemy. It's an advantage, you see.
(And if the watch lists are edited to put crewmembers with children into frequent and close contact with the prisoners - well, that's Iroh's prerogative. He is a General. And if there are a few minor navigational errors that lenghten their journey, well, that he knows nothing about. He's a General, not an Admiral.)
Meanwhile, Princess Azula is tasked with putting an end to the Frost Wolf's provocations. It would be terribly inconvenient if she were to have frequent encounters with another bending prodigy, about her age and wearing blue robes and a mask. They should make out about it.
Eventually, they'll all have to reckon with their monstrous fathers and murderous siblings.
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i-am-purplexed · 5 days ago
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Love how Taylor just exited the narrative. Truly what our girl deserved. Everyone else is suffering through multiple apocalypses during Ward and Taylor is off somewhere in earth Aleph getting eaten out by Sundancer.
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i-am-purplexed · 5 days ago
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basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.
if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 
unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.
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i-am-purplexed · 5 days ago
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I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:
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isn’t he beautiful
listen to the SOUND when he bites
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and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them
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i-am-purplexed · 7 days ago
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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
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i-am-purplexed · 7 days ago
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Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.
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i-am-purplexed · 19 days ago
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unrestrained summer fun
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