i-am-stretched-on-your-grave
i-am-stretched-on-your-grave
The Memoirs
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wellington makes me so happy. it’s such a funky grotty little city which feels like a step back in time 30 years, in the best way. i went down to work at an alex g show yesterday and fell in love with everyone i met and could really envision a life for myself for the first time, properly. i drank too much and felt absolutely awful today lol but so worth it. life is joyful for a moment
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I’ve been angry for almost a week straight and it’s disconcerting because i don’t often feel like this, or for this long. it’s frustration i think, about work and the lack of freedom i feel. i’m earning more money but i have so much less free time than i’ve ever had and i’m not used to it. even the time i do have i’m exhausted and stressed because seemingly i’m required to be married to my inbox 24/7. its fucked. it feels so throttling. be careful what you wish for i guess. everything just fucking sucks so much and i want to stick with something difficult for once so that i become more resilient to bullshit but my god it’s fucking difficult to not just throw everything away and start from scratch again. i don’t want to move back to england but at this rate it seems inevitable.
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Stayed in bed all day, which is actually fine because I wanted to do nothing and be on my own for some time. Now it's 2.30am and I'm wide awake, which is a bit of a pain, but my room is warm and clean, and the rancid headache I had earlier has gone. Really into the new Troye Sivan record - never been much of a fan of his before but I love the craft of the storytelling, production, and music videos from this campaign. I'm feeling the same itch to book things - travel things - as I did last winter when I was holed up with Covid, dreaming of Europe. Hoping to get to Melbourne in February, for a week or two. I think I want to live there, but I need to scout it out first.
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