i-bruise-easily

[i-bruise-easily]

It’s Dale’s Job Fair today. I have been telling him what to expect and what he should bring and how he should behave and answer. Yesterday, his sister also gave him good advice, like make a second resume (creative one) and a business card. He followed and made them last night. I thought that everything will go smoothly with the preparations.

“Are your clothes ready?”

“Did you charge our devices?”

“Is your resume done?”

I was sure that something will go wrong the next day. Something always do. I wasn’t prepared, though, for my terrible anxiety to overflow. As I was checking his resume and business cards, I noticed the errors. How there should not be periods here and there. How the columns were not aligned. How the design of the set was not cohesive, etc.

So, I began to cry. I cried with impatience, with desperation, with anger, and with the awful thought that I was at fault.

“I should’ve gotten up and checked.”

“I should’ve printed the resumes and all earlier.”

“I should’ve ironed his clothes the day before.”

This is why mothers are stronger, and at the same time, weaker. We do what we can, and yet we find faults in ourselves, thinking that what we can is not our best. That we SHOULD have done better.

It’s always different with Kuya D. Of course, it will always be different with him. I knew that. I embraced that fact.

It’s just I wish that sometimes, he can see things the way other see them. That his perspective is not that far off with others. That he can do things without my help.

I also pray that sometimes, my mind will not be as twisted as it is now.

[i-bruise-easily]

This red emperor was infected with mealies and since it’s not doing well, I chopped it. Cleaned it best I could. Used cotton buds and alcohol to remove them from the sheaths (idk what you call them). Swipe to see the bastards. ✌🏽 (at Pasay City, Philippines) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc6nWxXvi6-/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[i-bruise-easily]

Malapit na akong maglevel-up at matanggal ang label kong #serialfernkiller. Mga ilang ferns pa ang masasacrifice. Ahahaha. Sorry. Yung tassel ko, nanunuyot na. May binabalak na nga ako sa maidenhair. 😈 #tectariahilocarpa is taking off! Sa tingin ko, malaking tulong yung pinatong ko siya dyan. Laging basa din yang bed. Daily dilig din siya. I know baka mali din yung soil mix ko, pero parang ok na naman siya. Nakapagsettle na siya. Medyo ok na din yung 2 new leaves at may 4 pa na tumutubo. Yahoo! . . . . . . . . . . #theplantlab #houseplantclub #halaman #plants #houseplants #plantsagram #plantsofinstagram #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary #plantita #plantito #plantlover #plantparent #plantsph #plantitasofmanila #garden #philippines #plantaddict #crazyplantlady #plantsplantsplants #houseplantsph #indoorgarden #plantcommunity #ferns https://www.instagram.com/p/CMLs3y_gFDF/?igshid=1w23v8txrscnx

[i-bruise-easily]

This tiny pond deserves a post. Those flowers might have been dropped there because the tree on top of it doesn't flower. It was so pretty, I couldn't help but stop and take a photo. It looks straight out of fairy tales. I can imagine little fairies frolicking in the water, hiding behind those flowers from humans and dogs who might pee on their pond. In my mind, I could easily see myself clapping my hands and whispering through the sudden gust of air, "I do. I do believe in fairies!" 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♂️ (at Washington Sycip Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLX7VaBgAb0/?igshid=h8g40h89mu82

[i-bruise-easily]

Nakuha ko tong #pelloniarepens sa Shopee. Mura lang. Kaso, siguro since mura nga lang, dumating sila na sobrang dugyot. As in ang daming sira at akala mo isinuka. Halatang tinanggal lang sa kung saan. Di na talaga ineffortan ng seller na linisin. Kung ako kasi si seller lilinisin ko muna, then patutuyuin bago ko ikukulong sa kahon. Syempre, pwedeng maging cause ng rot yung basa ang loob, makukulob. Pag di mo nilinis, baka may mga peste palang nagtatago. Kaya nilinis ko to sa abot ng makakaya ko. Ginupit ang mga sirang dahon at mga ugat na malupa at nagsimula muli. Binabad ko hanggang magka-ugat, at di ko muna tinanim hanggat di naging mukhang matikas ang mga dahon. Eto na siya ngayon, mukhang nagvitamins. Isinuka pero di ko isinuko. 🥰 #theplantlab #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary https://www.instagram.com/p/CLJd3MDA4T_/?igshid=1v27x7q6za5em

[i-bruise-easily]

Ganda nitong #Aglaonemacostatumfoxii ko. Nagsimula sa 3 dahon. Then naglabas ng 1. Aba pagtingin ko kanina may bago na! Kaso lang ang tagal ha. 5 na buwan na ata ang lumipas. Medyo naiinip ako sa 'yo. Buti na lang maganda ka at di ka maarte. Madaming pangalan 'to. Kadalasang tawag dito ay #FisheyeAglaonema. Di ko siya pinapansin talaga. Tuyong tuyo nga ang lupa. 🤦Yun nga ata ang trip niya kasi buhay na buhay naman. Nasa dulo at pinakataas siya ng rack kasama ng kaisa-isa kong syngonium, at natatakpan sila ng mga pothos. Kelangan na malamang siyang pansinin para naman di siya magtampo. #sorryna P.S. Napansin niyo ba na di na fenk ang bahay ni Philo B? Oh di ba parang pangalan ng rapper! 😁 #theplantlab #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary https://www.instagram.com/p/CLBeh9LACkg/?igshid=1wf3w3f4j4rh2

[i-bruise-easily]

New plant: #maidenhairfern ❤️ Nasa wishlist ko 'to. Natatakot lang ako kasi di ako masyadong successful sa mga ferns. Dapo nga lang napapatay ko pa. 🤦 My latest victim is my #tectariahilocarpa, a fern endemic to the PH. 😔 Kaso nung nakita ko 'to sa Cartimar kanina (pina-groom si Oreo at bumili ng soilmix), di ko kayang umalis nang di ko natatanong magkano. Wala po akong balak bumili kasi nakikita ko binebenta sa FB ang ganito kalaki ng 500 up na, tsaka lahat ng halaman na tinanong ko dun isang libo mahigit gaya ng adansonii. Opo, wala pa 'ko nun, baka gusto niyo 'kong bigyan. Char. 🤣 Gulat ko, 100 daw. Tinanong ko ulit, baka kasi nabibingi na 'ko. Aba, 100 lang talaga. Palalagpasin ko pa ba? 😁 Ganda! Parang babaeng mahinhin, kapag sumasayaw sa hangin! Tipong pag tinitigan mo, makakasulat ka ng tula at parang makakarinig ka ng mga huni ng ibon o kaya mga mahinang kalembang at halakhak ng mga diwata sa gubat. Ganern. Ngayon parang nagtataka ako sa sarili ko bakit isa lang binili ko. Dapat dalawa o tatlo na para kapag napatay ko yung isa... Malamang pati yung iba pa no? Kaya tama na isa lang. #serialfernkiller 🙄 #theplantlab #theplantlab_ferns #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary https://www.instagram.com/p/CLAAm9UAEFY/?igshid=15xuof914m4jp

[i-bruise-easily]

This #philodendronheartleaf wouldn't grow roots for 3 weeks, so I dipped it in rooting powder. I also placed a #goldenpothos cutting in the same jar so it would encourage it to grow roots faster. When I checked today (a week after) the leaves weren't droopy anymore and roots have grown already. 😊 P.S. Did you notice my new plant in the background? 😁🤞 #theplantlab #theplantlab_heartleaf #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary https://www.instagram.com/p/CK_CWwQANM7/?igshid=16g0ragffe09j

[i-bruise-easily]

Ngayon lang ako nagka-crush sa #kangkong. ❤️ Yung una kong subok, nasa tubig pa lang siya at pinapaugat ko pa lang nang pinapak sila ng spidermites. Dun nagumpisa ang pagkalat ng mga badtrip na pinsan ng pinsan ng tiyuhin ng mga gagamba. 🤬 Sa lahat ng mga peste, etong spider mites ang mas peste pa sa ex niyo kapag kumalat, di gaya ni ex na malamang pinagpalit ka lang sa isang babae (or 7, depending on his demonyo levels), ang mga lintian, lahat ata ng naglalabas ng oxygen tinitira. 🤦 Pero etong mga 2nd time kangkongs ko, dinirecho ko na sa lupa na dating bahay ng ampalaya na namatay dahil ata sa lamig (char, hula ko lang yun wala naman kasing peste). Mahigit 2 linggo na ata sila dyan at akala mo nagpapaderma lagi. Sabi nila, mist mist daw ang mga halaman kasama ilalim ng dahon para iwas spider mites (sali niyo na din yung #thieves once a week). Kaya tuwing umaga ginagawa ko yun sa kanila. Di naman matrabaho. Laan ka lang ng 30 mins sa umaga kasama na dilig. Mas gusto kong ginagamit yung pang-spray na pinipisil para may halong poot kapag nagsspray. "Hype kang mapagpanggap na gagamba ka! Take that!" Ganern. 😁 Yung pressurized kasi wala masyadong thrill. 🙄 Sana lang di maghiganti yung mga spider mites pagkatapos kong magpost. Baka bukas 'la na 'kong kengkeng. 😬 https://www.instagram.com/p/CK8HjePgDPH/?igshid=xjhwwhzoo2a7

[i-bruise-easily]

Ang sarap lang tumambay sa Greenbelt para lang makakita ng malalaking #philodendrons pero mas natuwa ako sa #bluebutterflypea at #pennywort na nakasingit sa mala-gubat na park. Ako: wow! Andaming golden pothos! Grabe laki ng mga philos. Naging gubat na talaga no? Uy, bbp! Lemme take a picture so I can send tita Tish. Uy, may mga pennywort nakasingit oh. Daughter and son: 🤦 stahp. #theplantlab #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #plantsmakepeoplehappy #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary https://www.instagram.com/p/CK5TGrYgkkx/?igshid=6jlrtqt08ylq

[i-bruise-easily]

I bought this #oxalistriangularis for 100php. Didn't like it at first, I thought the leaves were damaged coz of snails or caterpillars, and I was worried it will just die. When it started growing new leaves I saw that they really grow as such! Someone said that this is an "aberrant form." And now, I love her! I felt like I should name her Flora, after my son whose name is Arolf. Arolf has been diagnosed as having #autism at age 3. I thought then "will he ever go to school?" He did. He went to a special school for 3 years and was transferred to a regular school after. We had a tough time and those stories will not fit in a single IG post. Each time he graduates (SpEd, elementary, junior high, senior high), I worry and ask myself "will he ever...?" He unconsciously answers me "yes" not just by graduating, but by finishing strong. He is now 22 and studying Game Development under an honors scholarship program, and will graduate in less than 2 years (if everything goes well). I now ask myself "will I ever stop worrying?" And the answer is "no." Just like the #oxalis," my son grows well. However, he has "flaws" just like all of us. In this world we live in, his "flaws" may be seen as an "aberrant form," a hideous label. That's why he suffered from bullying when he was younger (and still judged unfairly sometimes). But that doesn't mean that he is not loved and beautiful. In my eyes, he will always be, inside and out, imperfections and all. ❤️ #theplantlab #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary #autismawareness #autismmom https://www.instagram.com/p/CK7mXlUAskI/?igshid=fy4slm7g984s

[i-bruise-easily]

Pero mas maganda ka. Sus naman. Wag magtatampo. 😁 Lahat sila maganda, ako lang yung naiiba. 🤣 #theplantlab #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #plantsmakepeoplehappy #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary #coleus #mayana #theplantlab_coleus https://www.instagram.com/p/CK2yzhCAtZZ/?igshid=182jv1xcwmyr2

[i-bruise-easily]

The tiniest #monsteradeliciosa leaf. Just when I thought only 3 seeds germinated. Tadaaaah! #theplantlab #theplantlab_monstera #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #plantsmakepeoplehappy #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary #monsteramonday https://www.instagram.com/p/CKvtj_PgLkW/?igshid=1dyd1dhqd7rqi

[i-bruise-easily]

Nag-ugat na yung cutting ni pinnachurvachurva na bigay ng insan ko. Nilagay ko na sa #LECA. Huwag kang aarte ha? Be a good girl. 😘 #theplantlab #theplantlab_monstera #hydroton #semihydro #hydroponics #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #plantsmakepeoplehappy #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary #pinnatipartita #monsterapinnatipartita #monsteramonday https://www.instagram.com/p/CKxScS6gfDT/?igshid=dh0r8xyabmiy

[i-bruise-easily]

Our #budgerigars love #alugbati. So I keep these planted on the balcony near them. Kapag nagluluto si mother ng monggo, binibigay niya sa kin yung stalks para maitanim ko so may supply sila. These ones had flowers already, sayang. 2 days pa lang sila sa tubig and some stalks have roots already. 😉 #theplantlab #gulay #vegetables #malabarspinach #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #plantsagram #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #plantsmakepeoplehappy #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary #theplantlab_veggies #espinacademalabar #BasellaAlbaRubra https://www.instagram.com/p/CKxXfawAGpi/?igshid=9y3gqj9bijso

[i-bruise-easily]

For #trailingtuesday, yung ugat ko po talaga yung focus. 😁 Since manipis yung balat ko, kitang kita mga ugat ko since I became a dialysis patient. And I mean 😳😬😫🤮 <--ganyan kapanget. Lalo na yung kanan kung nasaan ang AV fistula ko. It's ugleh af. Di na ko pwede magsleeveless, backless, topless... nonetheless, I am nothing less than amazing to have gone this far. 😉 Huwag sanang mapansin ni Lord at bigla akong kunin. 😬 I got sick at age 31. I'm now 32. Char. 😁 (45 and turning 46 in a couple of months) Before 31, I was sick with something else. So, I have been sick for half of my life, really. Natusok na 'ko ng sandamakmak na karayom, nahiwa ng halos sampung beses, natingnan at napagalitan ng napakaraming doktor, napaiyak ng ilang mga nars at medtech, etcetera etcetera... and some people say that the first thing they notice is how they can see my nerves. I liked that. Because it takes a lot of nerve, actually, to not give up. #dialysiswarrior https://www.instagram.com/p/CKym1VDAy07/?igshid=1qraudhaj6f9v

[i-bruise-easily]

Kadalasan, kahit na andaming pinagdadaanan, God gives me a reason to smile. ❤️ Totoo nga! Sure na! May #bluebutterflypea na 'ko. 🤣 #theplantlab #theplantlab_ternatea #houseplantclub #halaman #planterscommunityph #plants #houseplants #houseplantsofinstagram #crazyplantlady #plantsagram #plantpeople #plantsofinstagram #plantas #plantasdecasa #식물 #plantsmakepeoplehappy #urbanjunglebloggers #urbanjungleblog #plantsmakepeoplehappy #botanicalpickmeup #botanicalwoman #plantsofinsta #urbanjungles #houseplantdiary https://www.instagram.com/p/CKz37TVghsQ/?igshid=kke701ydbh5d