i-make-better-pasta-than-you

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

now why is platonic cuddling so frowned upon in society fuck you man if i wanna cuddle my bff i will fucking cuddle my bff youll need a fucking crowbar to pry me off you son of a bitch

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

some person: we dont let our pets on the furniture

me: 

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

do u ever look forward to a nap so badly like this nap is the highlight of your day you’re gonna nap so hard it’s ridiculous

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

The birds know.. 

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

here’s a concept: me, riding your ceiling fan like a gargoyle. you, smacking me with a broom. both of us are yelling

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

when Jesus knew Judas would betray him but invited him to brunch just for the drama of it all

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

[i-make-better-pasta-than-you]

*groupchat is lit af*

Me: hi guys

*Gets no response for an hour*