i-wanna-put-the-die-in-diet - Tumblr blog

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stay safe 🤍

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You know what sucks

Having an eating disorder and failing at having said disorder. Having the same cycle every few weeks. Not losing weight, but still obsessing over eating less and constantly counting calories. Losing a little bit of weight, then realising you can’t do this for the rest of your life because you feel like absolute shit, mentally and physically, and you realise you have a healthy weight. Then deciding to pig out and hate yourself for it. Then eating normal again. Aaaand a few weeks later you start over..

You will never meet your goal, but you can’t let it go. Everyday is a disappointment. Everyday you feel like a failure. Stuck. Endlessly.

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I went to the doctors to get weighed and I’ve put on so much weight I burst into tears and had a panic attack in the middle of the doctors office

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My Personal Alternatives to Eating 🍒

✦journaling / writing in a diary

✦skincare

✦start reading a new book

✦just write something

✦do something hygenic {take a cold shower, brush or whiten your teeth, use a hair mask etc.}

✦watch a movie, or a few episodes of your favorite show, or even start a new show !!

✦ exercise

✦hang out with / facetime friends

✦listen to music and find some new songs

✦clean your room {can be extra enjoyable if you do it while listening to your favorite album}

✦watch anysort of youtube video

✦take a nap / sleep

✦masturbate

✦learn something new {an instrument, a language etc.}

✦look at thinspo

✦write down all the reasons why you want to lose weight

✦smoke / vape

✦get your nails done, or do them yourself !

✦organize something, anything

✦do your homework / sunmer packets

✦draw or paint

✦make an aesthetic craft

✦make new outfits out of your existing clothes

✦go shopping, online or at stores / the mall

✦do your makeup or your hair

✦watch ana documentaries or any type of documentary really

✦if you have a topic you’re interested in, extensively research that topic {conspiracy theories are really fun to research. like for example i researched the 27 Club and ended up making it into a school project!}

✦body check

✦stretch or do yoga

✦meditate {if you’re there in life lmao}

✦dance to music! or learn a dance from a tv show {like the cringey dance off from riverdale lmao}

✦sing to your favorite song

✦study ! {you might as well be the skinniest and the smartest in your school!}

✦watch supersize vs super skinny

✦practice walking in heels and looking graceful

✦play with a pet

✦tan, fake or not

✦look at snapchat stories {lmao i get wrapped up in these things for hours}

✦watch world’s strictest parents {i find these so funny and entertaining i dunno why}

✦make && drink a cup of tea

✦practice on making your handwriting prettier

✦go on pintrest

✦read fanfiction

✦drink cold water

✦watch fashion shows

✦listen to a podcast

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i wish i didnt hate myself

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I truely, honestly, hate myself

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Disgusting

I feel so fucking fat and I want to die lmfao

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me at 3 am, going through thinspo: i’m going to eat under 600 calories today. i’ll drink lots of water and even exercise a little :)

me the next day, at the sight of food:

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Thinspo <3

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gotta lose weight so people will love me

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