iamchaosandshadow - Tumblr blog

[iamchaosandshadow]

"No it's my spaceship that I normally steer with my mind" Stiles muttered the comment with an eyeroll before realizing that being rude to someone who may or may not be mortally wounded in his front seat probably isn't the best or nicest thing he's done. Also if he didn't stop messing about then a certain mortally wounded guy might just bleed out and become a corpse on his front seat and that would be a real bitch to explain to his dad. "Sorry" he mumbled, cringing at his sarcasm at this serious time.

Stiles was already to jam his keys in and start the car but he was thrown off with how casually Dean had reacted to his name. Sure Stiles  had some weird reactions to his name in the past but this was definitely one of the weirder times. To be fair Stiles was pretty sure if he was to tell the guy his full name (awful middle names and all) the reaction would be pretty different. Still no jokes or quips or even questions about it? Actually his usual prepared statement of "It's a nickname, my real name sounds like a sneeze" didn't even have to leave his tongue.

"Dammit focus Stiles" he stammered under his breath. Nevermind the weird reaction to his name and his weird feeling about Dean, this guy was bleeding out on his seats as he'd liked to point out. Even although all of this he was still smirking while he shoved his keys into the ignition. He had done this so many times now that it was a common feeling to have a bleeding passenger in his car although normally the passenger would have super wolfie healing powers. "You're lucky my dad's a cop, no speeding tickets" Stiles added, still grinning as his foot his the gas. They were gonna make it.

  A small chuckle made it’s way out of Stiles’ mouth and into the open air. “Course they do, homie, dude, bro, homedog? That’s totally radical?” He added in an astonishingly bad impression of a Californian accent. Coughing slightly he shifted his weight from foot to foot he realised what a moron he must look. “Nah only complete idiots do that. Like me for instance. So anyway you were going to tell me your name so I could get an ambulance and not let you bleed to death in this alley??”   As soon as the guy, well Dean spoke his name he saw the look on his face. A mix between relief and regret. He had also knew that look too well to know that it wasn’t good. It was only full of pain and the hope that there could be a way out of it, a way through the hurt. He knew that all too well. There was also a dull feeling rumbling around Stiles’ brain as if there was something was missing, as if there wasn’t something he wasn’t remember. The name was familiar but he couldn’t quite place it. He was probably a male model or something. Someone too important to bleed out in an alley anyways.                                                              

   Then he saw Dean try to haul himself up on his own trying to prop himself up against the wall and try to get up unsuccessfully. He had to give the guy some credit for that though, he certainly was a fighter. He heard him groan again and spit out a “son of a bitch” between his labored breaths. He knew if he called an ambulance now Dean would have a slim chance of surviving. Stiles also knew that he had to take matters into his own hands. Quite literally.     “Right okay, I gotta get you to my jeep so just hold on. As soon as I get you in the car we’re gonna go straight to the hospital since an ambulance would take too long. Plus you can’t try any heroics like that again if you want to survive this. Keep the pressure on. And before you give me any funny looks I’m stronger than I look.” He said remembering the two hours he spent keeping Derek Hale from drowning in his school pool. Stiles huffed offering a hand to the mysterious guy he hardly knew. The man with the familiar name and bright green eyes. His brain was just constantly coming back to one single thought. Who is this Dean Winchester?

[iamchaosandshadow]

"I don't want to let you down..."

Stiles dropped his hoodie string that he had been fiddling with, obviously sensing that the joke (if it was meant to be and seriously how could that not be a joke) wasn’t very funny. He was utterly baffled about what had happened and that doesn’t come easily to a Stilinski. What was she talking about? If anyone was going to let someone down it would be him. Catching the look on her face he could see the statement hadn’t been made in humour. “What do you mean? Don’t say things like that.” Stiles grimaced. He loathed the idea that she could think that she’d disappoint him. 

“You couldn’t ever let me down” 

[iamchaosandshadow]

   ~Dση’т мαкє мє уσυя єηєму

            I ᴘʀᴏᴍɪsᴇ﹐ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʟᴏsᴇ.

[iamchaosandshadow]

                       There’s a room where                                                               the l i g h t                                                                                   won’t find you

[iamchaosandshadow]

Hozier Lyrics Starter Sentences

"My lover's got humor."

"She's a giggle at a funeral."

"Should've worshiped her sooner."

"We were born sick, you heard them say it"

"She tells me 'worship in the bedroom.'"

"The only heaven I'll be sent to, is when I'm alone with you"

"I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife"

"Offer me that deathless death."

"Let me give you my life."

"My lover's the sunlight."

"There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin."

"Wonder if better now having survived"

"No other version of me I would rather be tonight"

"So deep in this swill with the most familiar of swine"

"It would be great to find a place we could escape sometime"

"She found me just in time"

"'Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done"

"I need to be youthfully felt"

"God, I never felt young"

"She's gonna save me"

"Call me baby "

"Happy to lie back"

"You knew who I was every step that I ran to you"

"Would things be easier if there was a right way?"

"Honey, there is no right way."

"There's an art to life's distractions"

"Love with every stranger, the stranger the better"

"All I've ever done is hide"

"But you don't know what hell you put me through"

"I know that you hate this place"

"It feels good"

"Oh to be alone with you"

"Honey, we should run away"

"Get closer to me"

"Idealism sits in prison"

"Chivalry fell on it's sword"

"Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, I should know"

"I slithered here from Eden just to hide outside your door"

"Oh what a sin"

"I'll be home with you"

"I have never known color like this morning reveals to me"

"Something isn't right, babe"

"So we're slaves to any semblance of touch"

"Lord we should quit but we love it too much"

"Won't you come and save me from it?"

"You're supposed to drag me away from it"

"Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?"

"I'm so full of love I could barely eat"

"I didn't care much how long I lived"

"She never asked me once about the wrong I did"

"Heaven and hell were words to me"

"I will not ask you where you came from"

"I will not ask, and neither should you"

"Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips"

"We should just kiss like real people do"

"I know who I am when I'm alone"

"I'm something else when I see you"

"You don't understand, you should never know"

"How easy you are to need"

"Don't be kind to me"

"I will come back"

"It's a kindness you can't afford"

"I want you baby tonight, as sure as you're born"

"You'll hear me howling outside your door"

"Don't you hear me howling babe?"

"I've no language left to say it"

"All that I've been taught, and every word I've got, is foreign to me"

"It looks ugly, but it's clean"

"The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine"

"Open hand or closed fist would be fine"

"The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine"

"I called your name 'til the fever broke."

"The night so black that the darkness hummed"

"I heard a scream in the woods somewhere"

"What caused the wound?"

"My dearest love I'm not done yet"

"Rare is this love, keep it covered"

"All you have is your fire and the place you need to reach"

"Don't you ever tame your demons- always keep 'em on a leash"

"You've done me wrong for a long, long time"

"But after all you've done, I never changed my mind"

"Try to love me"

"My love will never die"

[iamchaosandshadow]

ｉｍａｇｉｎｅ ｄｒａｇｏｎｓ | ｓｔａｒｔｅｒｓ

"This is it. The apocalypse."

"Don't get too close. It's dark inside."

"If I told you what I was, would you turn your back on me?"

"It's where my demons hide."

"Nobody can save me now."

"I don't want to let you down."

"I'm coming home to you."

"I'm here. It'll be alright."

"I know it's hard when you're falling down, but you gotta stand up again."

"If you love somebody, tell them."

"I've been missing you."

"Don't lose your way now."

"Ever since I could remember, I just wanted to fit in."

"I am Hell-bound."

"Ready, aim, fire!!"

"Oh God, just wait until I die."

"It's my fault, isn't it?"

"I've never been this afraid."

"It's never good enough, is it?"

"I wanna save that light in your eyes."

"I'm bleeding out, if it's the last thing that I do."

"I could have given up, but I'd like to think I've traveled all this way for something."

"Where do I go from here?"

"Look how far we've come."

"Emptiness is all I've ever known."

"I--I'm sorry I let you down..."

"I won't fall asleep. I can't fall asleep."

"If I seem dangerous, would you be scared?"

"Don't close your eyes. Everything could disappear."

"...I need to let you go."

"--I'm fine."

"The city never sleeps at night."

"We are fallen."

"I've turned into a monster."

"I can't hide the truth anymore."

"Why am I here instead of home?"

"We don't have much time."

"I would bleed out for you."

"I'm sorry I bring you down."

"I'd rather die than be with you."

I was never one for pretenders."

"I'm never changing who I am."

[iamchaosandshadow]

Fangirl Challenge:  Favorite Fictional Characters [9/40] → Stiles Stilinski

“I’m fine. Aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming fear that something terrible’s about to happen.”

[iamchaosandshadow]

He felt his tense shoulders go slack when her heard her quiet reply. He took in her hard, unpenetrable expression trying to let his gaze pick up any trace of what she was feeling. Then he looked into her steely green eyes and he could tell she felt the same. It almost burned to think that Jamie understood his hurt, his constant fear. She didn't deserve to have to put up with this life, his life. She deserved so much better than what she was offered. His breath hitched as he said what he needed to say. “I’m really sorry. I’m sorry I asked you for that. It’s just I don’t know anymore. It’s the only thing that helps” Besides you, his thoughts filled in the gap that he didn't vocalize.

He listened carefully to her words as she came closer. It calmed him. When Jamie was close it just felt right. Yet there was so much doubt inside him when he listened to her. He mostly doubted everything good these days. With a slight sad snort he opened his mouth after she had finished speaking.

"Who knows if I’m human anymore, Jamie. I just don’t wanna fall into that. I just want everyone safe. I know that’s never gonna be realistic, but I want it so bad."

"Make me."

"…Please can you just do as I ask?" the dark-haired boy replied gritting his teeth at the raised voice of Jamie. He hated shouting, it reminded him of the nights that the sheriff would drink and lurk in a dark depression about his mother. On those nights Stiles would lie in his bed and pull the covers up to his chin as he felt the guilt wash over him. He hated the feeling of gut wrenching guilt lying at the bottom of his stomach as he would wait until the darkness of sleep would take over. It was one of the worst feelings he had ever had. He glanced back at Jamie taking in her red cheeks and flustered expression as he fidgeted with his sleeves. He had never seen the blonde in such a rage and didn’t want to push her at all but this was important. He wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t. He pulled together all his thoughts before churning out them out in one choppy statement. "Look I’m sorry. I’m sorry I even bother anymore."

[iamchaosandshadow]

[iamchaosandshadow]

The Broken Boy

“Does it even matter anymore?” Stiles sighed, his voice showing strain and exhaustion. He knew his face looked weary as it could be, his freckles standing out from his extremely pale skin and the wide dark circles hanging from his eyes. Yet he knew if he fell asleep even for a second he could be taken over by that thing. That blood-thirsty, psychotic, demonic piece of shit that was ruining his life. He could feel his hair stand on end thinking about it. He was terrified. As much as he was used to covering his fears with a sly grin and a quick wisp of sarcasm, Stiles knew he couldn’t do that this time. He could barely keep himself from shuddering when he thought of that grin it would use while listening to Stiles scream himself hoarse.  Rubbing the bags under his eyes he let it all out in a quiet murmur, barely daring to raise his voice any louder for fear of being heard. 

Stiles hasn’t sure why he was slightly opening up or even mumbling to him but once he started he couldn’t stop. It was as if he just opened his mouth and the words would just tumble out. “I can’t keep trying, I mean I know I need to. I can’t let it win. It’s just the way I’m going on, it’s breaking me. I can’t go for two minutes without thinking about it.  The teeth, the bandages. Worse of all is the voice. It’s taunting riddles and laughter. Even if we do all survive this then what am I supposed to do after it? Am I just supposed to live knowing that I have hurt so many people?  How am I supposed to live knowing that these hands contributed to killing someone?” He sputtered before glancing at the floor. He couldn’t even look him in the eye. Stiles’ own hands had hurt people, had innocent blood on them almost tarnishing his flesh and no amount of redemption would ever change that. 

“I’m a monster. It’s turned me into a monster, Derek.”

[iamchaosandshadow]

Texts From Last Night ask meme!

[text] I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

[text] on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left

[text] just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart

[text] I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart

[text] This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

[text] o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

[text] Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.

[text] Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from

[text] I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.

[text] He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.

[text] After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment

[text] So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.

[text] Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay

[text] Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

[text] You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.

[text] I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?

[text] Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

[text] I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

[text] You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!

[text] This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

[text] I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.

[text] The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

[text] I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!

[text] I think i sorta joined a cult last night

[text] I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet

[text] At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

[text] Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.

[text] omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.

[text] Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.

[text] Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.

[text] Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.

[text] The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?

[iamchaosandshadow]

reblog if it’s 100% okay for mutuals to tag you in a starter

[iamchaosandshadow]

Your little code of ethics there is just barbaric. Just FYI.

[iamchaosandshadow]

He could tell Dean was questioning his hand, looking at it and trying to figure out all the possibilities but hell he couldn't criticize the guy. He'd probably do the same if the situation was reversed. Yet oddly enough Dean accepted his hand and Stiles let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He was just thankful this guy had enough braincells to trust him.   "It's just round the corner. A couple more steps and we'll probably be able to see her." he said offering his best reassuring smile to Dean. He kept his arm tightly round the guy trying to take as much weight off him as possible. He could very plainly see Dean was trying to mask the fact that he was struggling yet was still plowing on anyway. "You must really love that brother of yours" Stiles said before a grin sneaked its way back onto his face.

   There she was! That beautiful blue piece of crap was finally within reach. "I can see the car Dean, we're gonna get there." Stiles puffed still heaving Dean with him. He dove his other hand into his jeans pockets and plucked the keys out as fast as possible. Shoving his keys into the lock and opening the car up he took his time to think. He gently let Dean slide into the passenger seat before rushing round to the other side. They were gonna make it. They were actually gonna make it. He finally let out a sigh of relief before starting up the engine and hearing it's familiar purr. Then realization set in, he still hadn't told the poor guy his name. He turned his head to look at the green-eyed bleeding Dean Winchester in his passenger seat before opening his mouth with a slight grin. "My name's Stiles Stilinski and I think I can safely say that this has been one of the weirdest meetings of my life."

applepiesandimpalarides

“‘Bro’?” Dean repeated, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “People still say that? I thought that ended in the 90s,” he commented, groaning as he shifted slightly again. He was going to have to tell the kid his name. He and Sam hadn’t picked a cover yet, they’d only been in town for a day. If Dean went under an alias Sam wouldn’t know who to ask for and wouldn’t be able to come get him. It wasn’t like it was a big deal - his criminal record had been wiped multiple times. “I’m Dean. Dean Winchester,” he responded finally, hoping he wasn’t going to end up regretting telling the kid that. Then again, he might not live long enough to regret it.

Knowing from the origins of the plan that it would be a bad idea, Dean used his free hand to brace himself against the wall and slowly started to get up. He cried out in pain when he got halfway up and slumped against the wall. He was sure it was his imagination, but it was like more blood started flowing out when he was on his feet. ”Son of a bitch,” he grumbled, taking deep and laboured breaths. If he was going to let the kid help him…well, he highly doubted the kid could lift him. Getting up like that really had been his only option.

  A small chuckle made it’s way out of Stiles’ mouth and into the open air. “Course they do, homie, dude, bro, homedog? That’s totally radical?” He added in an astonishingly bad impression of a Californian accent. Coughing slightly he shifted his weight from foot to foot he realised what a moron he must look. “Nah only complete idiots do that. Like me for instance. So anyway you were going to tell me your name so I could get an ambulance and not let you bleed to death in this alley??”   As soon as the guy, well Dean spoke his name he saw the look on his face. A mix between relief and regret. He had also knew that look too well to know that it wasn’t good. It was only full of pain and the hope that there could be a way out of it, a way through the hurt. He knew that all too well. There was also a dull feeling rumbling around Stiles’ brain as if there was something was missing, as if there wasn’t something he wasn’t remember. The name was familiar but he couldn’t quite place it. He was probably a male model or something. Someone too important to bleed out in an alley anyways.                                                              

   Then he saw Dean try to haul himself up on his own trying to prop himself up against the wall and try to get up unsuccessfully. He had to give the guy some credit for that though, he certainly was a fighter. He heard him groan again and spit out a “son of a bitch” between his labored breaths. He knew if he called an ambulance now Dean would have a slim chance of surviving. Stiles also knew that he had to take matters into his own hands. Quite literally.     “Right okay, I gotta get you to my jeep so just hold on. As soon as I get you in the car we’re gonna go straight to the hospital since an ambulance would take too long. Plus you can’t try any heroics like that again if you want to survive this. Keep the pressure on. And before you give me any funny looks I’m stronger than I look.” He said remembering the two hours he spent keeping Derek Hale from drowning in his school pool. Stiles huffed offering a hand to the mysterious guy he hardly knew. The man with the familiar name and bright green eyes. His brain was just constantly coming back to one single thought. Who is this Dean Winchester?

[iamchaosandshadow]

GUYS, A MOMENT OF SILENCE, PLEASE.

The Taliban just attacked a school in Peshawar, Pakistan and killed 104 people, including 84 children. The school is currently under hostage. Please keep them and their families in your thoughts and prayers!

Update: The death toll has risen to 126 children, all between the ages of 9-16. More than a hundred wounded. The operation is still underway, PLEASE PRAY IT DOESN’T RISE ANY FURTHER AND ALL STUDENTS AND TEACHERS ARE EVACUATED SAFELY.

I wish I didn’t have to post this.

[iamchaosandshadow]

[iamchaosandshadow]

☁ My muse is screaming for help.

❅ My muse is shaking uncontrollably.

✿ Your muse finds my muse in room next door after my muse had nightmare.

★ Your muse finds my muse in room next door after your muse had nightmare.

☯ My muse can’t tell the reality apart from nightmare.

✌ My muse is having nightmare, calling out your muse’s name.

Nightmare RP starters: