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I'm upset with myself....

If you type “the” in your phone is the next suggested word “adventure?” How many of you are trash like me

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A comic about Aubrey discovering that Duck dyes his hair ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ In my headcanons Duck has blue protagonist hair that he dyes, but I left this comic open in case that headcanon isn’t your cup of tea.

This was largely made for practice, and I know it feels a bit off here and there when it comes to characterization, but I’m still happy with the result and hope I can get at least a quick chuckle out of somebody.

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Barry, leaning down to look into the fort Lucretia and Magnus have made under the Starblaster’s dining room table through the shimmering Wall of Force that’s been erected over the entrance: Guys c’mon, what about Team Human?

Lucretia, looking up at him from the floor where she’s lying on her back drinking red wine out of a mug with a comically long straw while Magnus paints her toenails: Ask your girlfriend, traitor. 

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hi yes this just happened

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Here's some reasons why you should listen to The Adventure Zone!

Okay so it follows three protagonists named Taako, Magnus, and Merle who KHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHKHHKHHKHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHKHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHKHHHHHH and KHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHHKHHHHHHHHHHHKHHHHHH-

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Slide on into Kepler, they said.

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Clint McElroy in Here There Be Gerblins: hey, let’s think this through logically in order to determine our next step and resolve this situation peacefully

Clint McElroy in Every Subsequent Arc: *looks up from trying to figure out which die is a d20 as his children scream at him to heal them because he’s a god damn cleric* I’m a what

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Is Your Child Texting About The Adventure Zone?

LOL - Love Of Lucretia

LMFAO - Let Merle Fuck An Onion

ASL - Angus Sees Logically

BRB - Barry Resurrects Bodies

L8TR - Lup & Taako Rule

LMK - Let’s Marry Kravitz

IMHO - It’s Magnus, He’s Overpowered

BDSM - Bring Davenport Some Merlot

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If you’re asexual just know I think you belong here and my blog is safe for you. Anyone who tells you you’re not queer enough is ignoring the real problem of cis/heteronormativity to bully ace people the way we all get bullied by cishet people and I won’t stand for it.

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I was looking at contact paper because I have some shelves to line like some kind of adult and while I was innocently browsing, I came across this. 

Horrifying. But it got worse. 

Imagine coming home from school and your mom’s all “Hey honey I redid your room!”

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The seven birds: coffee shop au

davenport inherited the coffee shop when he wasn’t in a great place and doesn’t really know what to do with it. he hires lup and taako first because lup is great at balancing the books and taako makes killer pastries. he later finds out that giving them the job was the only thing that kept them from losing their apartment

magnus starts working there part-time even though he’s not great with the delicate stuff. he doesn’t drink coffee because he’s so energetic without caffeine so the learning curve is slow but davenport couldn’t bring himself to fire him and he’s very handy to have around when something breaks

barry and lucretia are a grad student and an undergrad (respectively) at the same university. they don’t really know each other when they start going to the coffee shop, but eventually they both become familiar faces there

merle owns the plant shop next door and even though it’s advertised as a florist’s, only half the things he sells are flowers. davenport has no idea what to make of him but it is nice to see green during the winter and merle keeps offering him free plants for the window sills and davenport doesn’t know how to say no. the plants only stay alive thanks to barry, who surreptitiously pours out a lot of disastrous tea (courtesy of magnus) into the pots. he’s trying to cut down on caffeine, but he doesn’t want to stop having an excuse to talk to lup

the seven of them are stuck in the coffee shop during a citywide blackout pretty early on and that sparks a lot of bonding

taako and lup switch nametags or wear nonsense nametags all the time, but it doesn’t take barry very long to be able to tell them apart

lup didn’t have much of a formal education, but she’s smart as hell and she’s been reading barry’s textbooks for years and when his entire research paper gets deleted, she stays up with him for two days straight, proofreading and editing. he’s never been more in love with anyone

merle starts calling taako and magnus his sons and it’s weird but no one stops him

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do you have any reaper squad head canons you wanna share?

hell yes i do:

At first Lup and Kravitz butt heads on stuff like how they make their entrances on group missions (both are extra af but lup is more…explody about things and Kravitz has a flare for the dramatic)

Barry heckles shitty necromancers to their face because he can do it wayyyy better (”nice formula asshole who’d you bounce this one off of your gurgling corpse friend over there”)

Lup refuses to call Kravitz by his name, only skeleton-based nicknames

Kravitz at first is annoyed by it but quickly becomes resigned to his fate

When Barry and Lup first hear Krav doing voices they start cackling and Krav gets super embarrassed

Lup gets into doing voices too (Barry does them sometimes)

Barry gets salty about always having to dress nicely and starts just wearing jeans and a sweater because fuck that noise im barry bluejeans not barry blackslacks 

Once they see eye to eye Lup and Kravitz start planning the flashiest possible ways to bust liches and Barry is mortified because the amount of property damage they’re gonna cause is unquantifiable

 After longer solo missions Lup tries to get a few days off to hang with Barry because he gets anxious about her going off alone

double dates with Krav and Taako are essentially three grim reapers and a ceo of a major brand sitting in a fantasy olive garden judging the pasta like its not a big deal

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Stern noticing that Duck always wears his hat, even in the hotsprings, begins his quest to see what is under the hat. He is unsuccessful until one night at the end of their first official date during their first kiss, Ducks hat is accidently knocked off. Out spills gravity defying bright pink hair, way more than should be able to have been hidden under the hat. Stern almost drownes. Duck is completely mortified. Aubrey and Ned who are watching from a nearby bush can't stop laughing.

I will accept two possible scenarios in which Duck might have pink hair and is hiding it:

Scenario 1: Duck continued dying his hair after his high school punk phase because he got really good at it and having hair in fun colors is one of life’s joys. But wearing the look openly is not always an option because Duck has to look professional at work and not every workplace considers pink hair professional, and also because bears. Pink hair makes someone just a little bit noticeable when walking through the woods.

Scenario 2: Aubrey wanted to try a new color to impress Dani but didn’t want to try in on herself in case it looked stupid, so she asked Duck to be her “hair color canvas.” The color came out very nice, and there are several selfies of Aubrey and Duck with their faces smooshed together so Aubrey could get an idea of what the color would look like on her. The conclusion is that it would look fantastic, and Duck was sworn to secrecy and forced to conceal the color until Aubrey could do her own hair. Now, suddenly, the secret is out.

Either way, Stern likes it.

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I like the idea that Lucretia started a family, she just chose not to tell the THB or introduce them to each other because it was hard for her to get close to people who don’t remember her

After they get their memories back it’s no longer an issue but Lucretia just fucking forgot

And so she assumes they all met at some point and the gang just thinks Lucretia prefers being a bachelorette so they don’t say anything, and Lucretia’s still a little reclusive so this goes on longer than you’d reasonably expect it to

But one day they’re all at dinner together and she says “I won’t be coming next Thursday, my wife will be furious if I miss one of our daughters’ recitals”

Pandemonium. Pandemonium at that table.

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Hey there! theres a head canon running around here of purring elves. and what could be cuter than a purring half elf Angus McDonald? Maybe purring for the first time around Taako (feeling safe or needing to be comforted). maybe a younger Angus? thank you for taking the time to read this! :)

Hey! I hope you find this acceptable. I went with post-canon where Angus lives with Taako & Kravitz.

Taako is awake as soon as his ears catch the sound of the door to Angus’ room opening and closing down the hall. He pretends he isn’t. Angus is probably just going to get a glass of water and then return to bed like the good boy he is.

Taako feels Kravitz’s cool body pressed against his back; the reaper’s face buried in his hair. He scoots back; burrows a bit closer, just because he can. The heavy arm around his waist tightens its hold and a puff of breath hits the back of his neck. Taako smiles a private smile, he can tell Kravitz is still asleep. Funnily enough, the dead man sleeps like the dead.

The sound of padding feet stops outside the bedroom door and Taako schools his expression back into careful neutrality. He hopes that Angus is just checking in on them on his way to the kitchen. The door opens and for a few seconds, nothing happens. Then there’s the tapping of bare feet on the hardwood floor and a swishing sound that tells Taako that Angus’ blanket is draped over the boy’s shoulders and dragging behind him. Taako cringes inwardly; the late hour coupled with a blanket means nightmares.

Taako listens as Angus makes his way towards the bed over the minefield that is the bedroom floor. He’s glad that Angus is a half-elf with darkvision because otherwise the kid might trip over a pair of heels or whatever and snap his neck.

Keep reading

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Griffin: please don’t do murder

Taako: incinerates an entire person

Magnus: fuckin beheads a dude

Merle: LITERALLY SENDS SOMEONE TO THE LAND OF THE DEAD

Griffin: they’re fine they’re fine, why are you doing this to me, they’re all fine and not dead