iamsogross

[iamsogross]

I feel like if I had a body like this I could bind and pass as a guy

[iamsogross]

10/28/21

Goodmorning guys, I am currently sick. 

But, it is causing me to lose weight so yay.

I started an ed journal for when I cannot be on my phone, hopefully it helps.

I am getting really sick of being fat, 

But whatever 

[iamsogross]

I want. 

[iamsogross]

HII

good morning! I have been getting BIGGER and BIGGER. I am at the heighest weight I have ever been. Which is why, I’m going to start restricting heavily. 

[iamsogross]

They look just like a dream,

[iamsogross]

Goodmorning!

I’m feeling very motivated today

I have a lot of work I need to do

I also am moving into my new apartment today with my dad and therefore I have to pack ! So this morning I’m up super early. I plan to start packing now and then go to school. I’m in outpatient therapy now, so I have that after school aswell. Also, my therapist diagnosed me with DID, bipolar, and physcosis which makes a lot of sense. Although I don’t really share about my mental health or system here. Just an update tho

[iamsogross]

shout out to my parents for giving me this ed i couldn’t have done it without them

[iamsogross]

Me: diet culture is toxic

Also me: *starves myself*

[iamsogross]

Im back!

sorry for not posting guys, ive been going through a lot. But, im back and more ready then ever to lose weight! ive changed a lot! I changed my preferred name to Ray ! pronouns now are they/he

[iamsogross]

TW: eg0sp0

It’s the day before Halloween.

You’ve been eating less and less ever since September.

You’ve worked so hard.

While everyone around you hasn’t, and stay the same, all your clothes have become baggy.

Halloween is an exciting time for your whole school. You get to wear costumes on that day. You are going to go as a skeleton like last year, expect this time you’ll actually be as thin as one.

You plan to wear tight, revealing clothing unlike usual.

Normally nobody can see how fragile your body is.

Last time they did, you got laughed at.

Right before bed, your body aches. But you do not give in.

Awake in the morning, you weigh yourself. You are one pound under your ultimate goal weight.

Slipping on a skeleton themed crop top, skirt, and thigh highs, you walk to school.

Once you arrive, the whole school turns to look at you in awe.

People mumble and ask their friends who you are.

Girls look at you with a glare.

In reality this won’t happen. Unless you make it happen.

[iamsogross]

So the whole barely eating for a week just caused me to binge purge

Hate myself

Time to retry again and not eat for another week😀

[iamsogross]

IM GONNA CRY

I’m so happy

So basically

I’ve been like starving and throwing up a lot the past week

And I just weighed myself

And I went from 222 to 214... and I made sure it was accurate

WHAT THE HELL

I mean I’ve been eating barely anything some days eating one thing so ig yay

I’m so happy

THATS 8 POUNDS !!!

[iamsogross]

I barely eat yesterday and I’m proud. I had a great time with him <333 we are gonna spend more time together :) he makes me so happy

Anyways !

I’m about to weigh myself

[iamsogross]

So I slept over at his place last night and uh😟 WE HAD SEGGS 3 DIFFERENT TIMES ‼️‼️‼️

uh yeah so that happened

That was nice

We uh

Are going to a concert in November probably

And yeah 😩

[iamsogross]

Hey guys -<3

I’ve lost some weight :)))

Also

The guy I like

Likes me back fjdjjdns

It’s a wonderful feeling.

He means a lot to me and I feel like we get each other

Anyways I’m seeing him tm, and my school has homecoming carnival I’m going too today! Super excited:))))))

Tm is Saturday and we will be putting on a cute fake homecoming ;)

and having a sleepover

I mean we’ve already made out and cuddled and stuff

It just got complicated for a min

But we talked things through:)

So I’m super happy about that

I haven’t been sleeping much

Honeslty I’m probably manic :)))

[iamsogross]

I’ve been stressing with grades but I finally got them up!!

I am falling apart emotionally tho

But at least I’m barely eating

[iamsogross]

uh so I only ate two mini muffins today

At 6 pm

I starved all morning expect liquids

Proud of myself