iamsoorandom

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Interview with the Vampire | 1.02 After the Phantoms of Your Former Self

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he touched me, so I live to know

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*bagpipes intensify*

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THIS SCENE IS SO INSANE IN VERTICAL HELP😭 ALEX’S HIPS NEED JESUS BRO DAMNNN

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I think we should make love.

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Steve was in front of me, shoving me out of the way, squaring up with the bat like he’d face down the whole world and take a chunk out of it before he let anything get to us. 

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Steve: Can I be frank with you guys?

Johnathan : Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Eddie: Can I still be Eddie?

Billy: Shh, let Frank speak.

https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com

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Eddie: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Steve: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Billy: Smad.

https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com

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Steve: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.

Johnathan : That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.

Eddie: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?

Billy: Then tomorrow is Nacho Lucky day.This quote is generated from

https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com

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Wesper as parents, based on things my husband and I have actually said in real life: part 3 😄

Wylan: "What's your favourite animal, sweetie?"

Toddler: "Pig!"

Wylan: *looks at Jesper being covered in Dorito crumbs*

Wylan: "Yeah, I feel you."

________

Wylan: "I'm teaching our daughter the ABC!"

Jesper: "You barely know how to spell."

Wylan: "I meant the song, you dimwit. Also, rude."

________

Jesper: "Who do you think wears the pants in this household?"

Wylan: "Preferably neither of us, that's for sure."

________

Jesper: "Wylan, honey! Tell us who makes the best bird noises!"

*Jesper and toddler proceed to make ridiculously loud and obnoxious bird noises*

Wylan: "... Jesper, we're in a grocery store."

________

Toddler: "Issect!"

Wylan: "No, sweetheart, that's not an insect, it's a spider. Spiders have eight limbs, insects have six."

Jesper: "So do centaurs."

Wylan: "Please stop before I get the uncontrollable urge to lecture you on the Agipen, the six-legged dragon dog. We do not have the time for that right now."

________

Wylan: "OUCH F- bloody h- UTGHH OUCH!"

Jesper: "Do not kick papa in the nuts! Those are sacred, holy and one of my favourite parts of him. We need to keep them in a good state. Now, what do we say after we hurt somebody?"

Toddler: "Kissy make better?"

Wylan: "... N-no, thank you."

________

Jesper: "That's not a shark, it's a dolphin playing a trumpet."

Wylan: "Yeah? Well, your flamingo looks like a lamp post."

________

Jesper: "Being a neurodivergent parent is a lot like wearing glass pyjama pants."

Wylan: ".... Somehow that makes a lot of sense."

________

Wylan: "I really don't like her sweater, Jes."

Jesper: "Rude! I have an almost identical sweater."

Wylan: ".... Yeah, I know."

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Nina: If you could change your mate into one animal, what would it be and why? Please, nothing fuzzy-wuzzy.

Matthias: A falcon.

Nina: Yes, a falcon. The hunter of all that is fuzzy-wuzzy.

Matthias: No, a falcon because I want you to be free to soar majestically as long as I know that you'll always come back to me.

Wylan: If I ever get like that, kill me.

Jesper: I would have to.

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Wesper as parents, based on things my husband and I have actually said in real life.

Wylan: "So you see, if you change this note it turns into a G-sharp harmonic minor scale."

Jesper: "I love your dedication, but you cannot teach music theory to a TODDLER"

___

Jesper: "So, we went to the indoor playground again today!"

Wylan: "When are you finally going to admit you're using our child as an excuse to go on the trampolines?"

Jesper: "Probably when she's 12. We need another kid before that."

___

Wylan: "We have the most beautiful baby in the world."

Jesper: "Honey, you're biased. But yes, we do. Other kids are ugly."

___

Jesper: "So, you know how I love that she calls me Dada and you Papa? Well, just now she yelled 'Dapa' and I'm confused."

Wylan: "Straight people have it so easy."

___

Wylan: "Jesper, what the hell happened to the garlic press?"

Jesper: "Oh, [baby] wanted peanut butter, but we were out, so I decided to make it myself by grinding peanuts!"

Wylan: "... Did it work?"

Jesper: "... No. No, it did not."

___

Kid: "Papa, penis! Penis! Pee pee penis!"

Wylan: "I leave her with Jesper for one day... One fucking day!"

Kid: "Fucking day! Fucking day!"

Wylan: "... Oops."

___

Wylan: "Jesper, stop eating the animal crackers, they're not for you."

___

*toddler is hanging upside down from the upper kitchen cupboard*

Wylan: "Sometimes I think she takes after me. Then she does that and I reconsider."

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I miss them :(

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“my ghost won’t associate with your ghost”

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I…I don’t know if I’m really ready for breakfast just yet.