iamthedrunkgiraffe

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

Me too🩷

btw I am doing it afraid

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

looks inside procrastination -> it's anxiety -> looks inside anxiety -> it's fear -> looks inside fear -> it's shame

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

"It doesn't have to be like this. We could have it so much better"

Calligraffiti in Chicago, Illinois

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

Trump will die on July 4th

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

I WISH IT HAD ALL BEEN DIFFERENT!!!!!

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

adult friendships are really anything you need them to be like it doesn’t matter. if you and your friend want to see each other twice a week, that’s cool! if you want to have a standing monthly dinner at a restaurant with a friend, that’s cool! if you see each other once every four months and that’s all you can swing, that’s cool! you’re still friends as long as that’s how you both feel. if you talk twice a year for a good couple of hours, guess what? that’s still cool and you’re still friends if that’s how it feels. there’s no rules. whatever you can give in terms of energy and time is enough to be friends

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

and i don’t even like staying up this late i just do it

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

A useful thing to know about AO3 tags is that they're wrangled by humans. A human being will read your tag, understand what it means*, and then connect that tag in the backend system to other tags that mean the same thing (if there are any)

that's why, for example, the tags

not beta read

no beta

no beta we die like men

no beta we die like mne

no beta we die like [insert character who dies in canon]

unbetad

unbeta'd

unbeta-d

un-beta'd

and a million more versions are all searchable and filterable if you just tag one of them. A Tag Wrangler (the job title of a human volunteer who manages AO3 tags) has made sure that AO3 understands that those are all synonyms, so AO3 treats them that way.

When you're tagging your fic, or searching for a fic, or filtering a tag to find or remove works from the list you do not have to use every possible version of a tag. You just need to pick one - unless using more is a stylistic choice you're making, in which case have at it.

*or research what it means - which is why wranglers really appreciate it if you put (OC) behind the name of your original characters so that they don't have to scour every source they can find to see if it's a named background character in canon.

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

It’s really nice that they put that extra do in rhododendron. Like a little treat.

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

I constantly manipulate everyone around me by calculating what would be the nicest thing to do in any given situation, making a point of doing it when it matters the most. This is supported by subtly, casually tailoring what I talk about to the person I'm speaking to, and saying what I think they may find funny or interesting. the really sick thing is I look just like a normal person and there's no way you can tell me apart from anyone. If I weren't such a monster I would be afraid knowing people like this are out there, but I know I'm on top and have nothing to fear.

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

Cannot focus on the pornography I am viewing because the background actresses are too funny and good at riffing

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

Mekki Leeper as Matt Pearson ST. DENIS MEDICAL • Season 1 ↳ @tvdoctors Nurses Appreciation Week 2025

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

Had a sex dream about lizzo last night and she was playing in my pussy like it was that fucking flute

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

Wearing a mesh g string under my suit for court today because I haven’t done laundry in a month

[iamthedrunkgiraffe]

Wait I’m eating bacon and Nutella this is so 2012