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writers (me) if they (I) get paid every time they (I) actually wrote their (my) wips instead of daydreaming about them

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A little Religion: Why Heart First?

Mathew 22: He said to him; “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”

Why did Jesus say heart first? These are the types of questions I have stayed awake at night for. Here’s the answer I came up with: Because the heart leads the mind. When we look for happiness, we follow our hearts letting our hearts set the destination and letting the mind manage the journey.

I could end it there, and have a really short essay. Yay! But there’s more to it, in religion there always is, DRAT! This is not merely a commandment to the individual, but to the family, to the community, and to nations too. This one commandment is probably the key to everything Godly, so let’s extend the idea of letting the heart lead in our families, our communities, and our country. For today, I am going to explain my thinking in terms of the family and the home.

Biblically, in the family, the typical gender role is that the man is the head, cool; I’m a guy. The head is the most visible part of the body, and the part that because the greatest focus because of where it is. This is good and bad, I mean any guy who has accidentally drunk the wrong guy’s beer in a bar will know the bad part (and if you believe it was a beer, you’re special). There is a lot in the Bible about heads of houses, little on hearts of families, because it was written by a lot of heads with wives who enabled them to write it. However; we can infer a lot, starting with a woman’s role in the family: she is the Heart.

In a human body, the heart is not visible, well protected, and absolutely crucial to being alive. The same goes for a home and a family, the heart is well protected, not visible because it simply nourishes everybody else and sees to the happiness of the home. This is God’s design, and shown throughout the Bible because the promises God made only came into fruition after the men were married, without exception. This means that the men in the bible were made by their wives, with God guiding the wives more than an often very stupid man.

The jealous and often not too clever Apostles didn’t say it; but for Jesus to have been allowed to teach, he would have needed to be married in Jewish tradition, and there is a betrothal scene with Jesus in the New Testament. That would be the woman at the well (John 4: 1-42). I’ll discuss that later along with why there are no wedding ceremony guidelines in the Bible, if anyone wants to know.

So, written between the lines, we can tell that wives are probably more important to God than men and this begs the question: what is a wife supposed to do in the marriage apart from have children and feed her husband? The wife, being the heart of the marriage, needs to discipline, guide, and focus the head. Basically she needs to supervise and direct the manager to the destination. This is no small task and I do not want to be a wife for any reason.

To add to the idea that men are expected to go to their wives, Adam and Eve’s sons went to fetch wives, Jacob went to Laban and married Laban’s daughters. Joseph of the many colored coat, married an Egyptian woman. Moses married while in exile from Egypt… there a recurring theme here.

Something more to consider; in the overwhelming majority of biblical case studies, men went to their wives to marry. In one memorable case, the guy wasn’t even present when he got betrothed, Genesis 24. This is notable because God seldom went to people, people came to God first. Even Jesus did not go to people without being invited, people came to Him. This is a statement of authority in that the supplicant has to make the move. In biblical terms, this suggests that man is in fact junior between husband and wife within the heavenly hierarchy because the junior goes to the senior in biblical behaviour. Invariably, when God needed to come to a person, all hell broke loose. The bible is a case study in why you should not make God come to you. Whether it was Lot or Abraham, or Noah, or Moses, or Gideon, or David, or Samson, the result when God needed to come to the management was nasty for somebody, including for the particular managers he came to see.

The husband is so junior, in fact, that his personal attendance at the betrothal is not required. The two crucial presences at the onset of a marriage is the wife, and God; the husband can be represented by something of his. In Genesis 24, Isaac’s representative was his father’s servant and a flock of sheep (his inheritance and future). In Genesis 24, we also get the model for a marriage, simply put it goes like this: Guy needs a life, Guy asks girl, girl gives him a life and nurtures his future, and guy gives his life back to the girl.

This is echoed in John 4: 1-42 where Jesus is in Samaria (going to the girl) tells the woman that the water (life) she gives him will be drunk and he’ll give her his water (life). The story goes on to imply that she gave him the water because she goes to her town and does as expected of a wife at the time, she multiplies her husband by telling the town about Jesus and His ministry. We can go further on this by asking the question of happened after this incident? In John 6 Jesus feeds the 5000, this means that Jesus went from being an obscure cleric to being a superstar in two chapters, and we get back to the idea that biblical men were made by their wives.

There is a lot about Jesus being married to Mary Magdalene… Magdalene means of the tower, incidentally, with an implication of being learned in the tradition of the name, and Magdalene is a Samaritan name of the time. The apostles are said to have called Mary Magdalene a whore, and John 4 would tell us why, but not change the fact that she built Jesus.

So we come to the conclusion. For a family to be godly, the wife needs to be closer to God than the husband. The husband needs to understand that, be willing to be disciplined by her, and to have the priorities in the home set by her. She needs to know God and to pray, she needs to be prepared to build her head from within, and be the unseen authority; just as God is the unseen authority of all of creation. God only showed himself at times of dire need, and the wife should understand that in Heaven’s way, power is always hidden unless the need is great and she needs to save her husband.

In my prayers I pray for a woman who knows God better than I do. A wife who knows God to be loving, merciful, just, and loving; making her all those things. I pray to live in a community where the women know God better than the men, and have courage to lead them. No country could ever be great by classing women below men, especially if the country is trying to be God fearing, although I see no trouble in the traditional place for a heart in a country. Let the women have authority to guide and discipline their husbands, let the husbands have the humility to listen, and let the genders have their places, and that is my most fervent prayer for the world.

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Good Male Servants

Good servants don’t wait to be told what to do. They use their imagination balanced by careful planning and experience. What can you do for the woman in your life that will delight her?

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“If this shows up on your dash… reblog if you like, DM if you’re bold 🖤”

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Time for this to go up on my blog nope not happening...

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For all the taxis in South Africa

the god moves in mysterious ways but you don’t have to. Please use your blinker

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I believe there are a few women who believe this about me.

Dating and Meet-Ups #24-23-4

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Ten Commandments of Submission: A Guide for the Devoted Submissive Man

1.Obedience Above All: Follow her instructions without hesitation, questioning only when clarification is necessary. Her word is final.

2.Prioritize Her Needs: Always anticipate and address her desires, ensuring her comfort, happiness, and success are your primary focus.

3. Show Respect and Gratitude: Address her respectfully at all times and express gratitude for her guidance, care, and attention.

4.Maintain Honesty: Be transparent about your feelings, challenges, and progress. Trust is the foundation of submission.

5.Commit to Self-Improvement: Continuously work on becoming the best version of yourself to serve her better—physically, emotionally, and intellectually.

6.Practice Daily Devotion: Incorporate rituals or acts of service into your daily routine to remind her of your dedication and reinforce your role.

7.Protect Her Reputation and Privacy: Never disclose details of your dynamic without her permission. Always represent her with dignity and loyalty.

8.Fulfill Duties Without Expectation: Serve her unconditionally without expecting rewards or reciprocation. Your satisfaction should come from her happiness.

9.Wear a Chastity Cage, Even if Single: A chastity cage symbolizes submission and self-control. It serves as a physical reminder of your dedication to female authority and your desire to be disciplined, even without a Mistress.

10.Reaffirm Your Submission Regularly: Whether through words, actions, or rituals, consistently demonstrate your commitment to her authority and your role.

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There is more than one way.

Make something that works for you.

The only non-negotiable is communication.

What a Loving, Obedient Female-Led Relationship Means to me

Before jumping headlong into a FLR I wanted to do as much research as possible to make sure that I knew what I was getting into. In one of my first posts I wrote something like, "It was not all that easy to tease the facts from a lot of the nonsense online, and that really is why I have started this blog; to get an accurate picture of what FLR really is, what it might be, and what it definitely isn’t". Well, I've done quite a bit of digging, and tried to post my results as I went along. Now I think that I'm in a position where I can summarise and say what FLR means to Diane and myself.

First, we are now living a loving, obedient FLR, and the most important feature of that, without question, is love. That is what feeds our dynamic, why I get so much pleasure from serving her and why she has agreed to lead us on this journey. I do not believe that FLR can work without being grounded in love, and I feel certain that our love is blossoming now that we have pushed my male ego out of the equation.

Next, we have established three rules which frame our relationship:

Diane’s wishes take absolute priority over mine, at all times and without exception;

My primary role in the relationship is to ensure Diane’s happiness;

Diane will take immediate corrective action whenever my behaviour falls below her expectations.

It is because I love Diane that I have agreed to the first two of these rules, and I have empowered her by agreeing to obey her commands without hesitation. I get great pleasure from doing this, and also from serving her diligently to make her life easier and happier. Because she loves me, she has agreed to train me so that I learn what her expectations are without needing to be continually told.

The third of these rules is underpinned by my obedience; I have agreed to obey the first two rules. If necessary, Diane has been further empowered to punish me, in non-physical ways, if ever she feels that my behaviour falls below her expectations.

From a practical point of view, rules 1 & 2 mean that I have a list of regular chores which I must complete without being told. She is also able to give me any additional tasks, whenever she likes, that I must complete without complaint. I must also not answer her back or question her authority in any way. I must never interrupt her when she is talking, and if she is talking to a shop assistant or tradesperson then I must not take over control of the conversation. In restaurants I will let her interact with the waitress or waiter.

I have learned so much in the few short weeks that we have living this dynamic. The list of my domestic chores has grown and grown as I try to relieve Diane from as much of the burden of domesticity as I possibly can. She has taught me how to see the house through her eyes, so that I can see what needs to be done without being told, and, on top of that, she is now confident enough in her new-found empowerment to give me commands and to know that I will obey them. I believe that we are both benefitting from this; not only is there a tranche of household chores that she does not even need to think about, but she is comfortable in giving me tasks to do as and when she thinks of them. For my part, I get huge satisfaction when I do these jobs from knowing that I am serving her. To me, at least, this reinforces her seniority in the dynamic and my lower status.

It has been fascinating to see how Diane has become more and more assertive over the weeks, such that I do not believe that she would hesitate to give me a command if she wanted me to do something. Compared with where we were just nine weeks ago, this is amazing progress.

I have tried to be as obedient as I possibly can, but I do continue to make mistakes, despite my best efforts. I hope that these are small and relatively inconsequential, perhaps worthy of reprimand but not much more. Therefore, Diane has not had much call to flex her new "disciplinary muscles", so I do not know if she would be comfortable really scolding me, or maybe sending me to the corner. It will be interesting to see how she handles that if the situation ever arises.

I can't speak for Diane, but I am loving every day of this new life-style, and I hope very much that we are able to stick to this. It is very little sacrifice for me, I just have to swallow my male pig-headedness and learn to do what I'm told. Things are harder for Diane, as she has to learn an assertiveness that may not be natural to her.

Having said what FLR is, to us at least, can I say what it isn't? I can definitely rule out a great deal of what I have read on the Internet. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with any of these, they're just not part of our dynamic:

I am not Diane's slave and she is not my mistress;

She is amazing and I love her very much, but she is not a goddess;

Our relationship is not about spanking, caning, or other physical punishments;

She does not humiliate me in any way;

I am neither a sissy nor a cuckold;

I do not worship her feet or shoes;

I do not own any panties;

I am not pegged (although this could be beneficial for my haemorrhoids ;-) );

I do not do my chores naked while she drinks wine (although I have been known to drink wine naked, and I often clean the bathroom while semi-naked);

Our relationship is private and we do not involve others (so I am not spanked by her mother and sister);

I do not wear a cage;

She does not control my orgasms (at my time of life there is precious little to control!);

She does not rest her feet on me while waving a riding crop, or stamp on my face with high heels;

Neither of us wears stockings or latex.

As far as we are concerned, none of that little lot is real-life for us, although we accept that it may well be for plenty of other people. That's the great thing about people: we're all different and nobody is right or wrong.

Brian and Diane

[ianb43]

Interesting read.

Spanking within FLR

Hello all, Brian here again.

I suspect that I am not the only man on the planet who enjoys being spanked. We did play at this, briefly, a few years ago but Diane got nothing out of it, and I have to admit that the fantasy of spanking was not the same as spanking in practice. Does spanking have a place in FLR? It may do for you and many other couples, and as long as consent has been given, there is nothing which happens between a couple which is either right or wrong. This post is about our personal perspective.

I have said before that we practice a kink-free FLR, so if spanking were to feature in our FLR, it would be as a form of punishment, rather than as a kink. Is spanking feasible as part of the disciplinary process? Punishment is most definitely a necessary part of FLR, and I have already explained how Diane deals with this in a couple of earlier posts. I might be scolded or sent to the corner, but I am not spanked for disobedience. Why not?

In order for punishment to successfully correct bad behaviour, it must be unpleasant. If the man actually enjoys being spanked, then it serves absolutely no purpose until the point at which it becomes unpleasant. How unpleasant does something have to be before the buzz from the kink is replaced by the pain, and how much pain is needed to drive home a lesson? Is this simply a matter of increasing the duration and severity of the punishment? Can you just progress from hand to hairbrush spanking, to paddling, caning or whipping? There must always be an upper limit, because the human body can only take so much.

Suppose that a husband has been disobedient and his wife decides to spank him. Despite his protests to the contrary, he would almost certainly experience some thrill from the prospect, as his pants come down and he lays across his wife's lap. Depending on how energetically and enthusiastically she is able to get her point across, he will shortly begin to feel a degree of pain. This, too, might be enjoyable for a while, but at some point, let's imagine that he is really not having fun. If his wife stops the spanking at this point, then he has had a pleasurable experience, which is in fact a reward for bad behaviour, the exact opposite of punishment. Therefore, the punishment must continue.

However, he is now being spanked beyond the point of consent. You might say that he has consented to being punished past the point of enjoyment and into the realm of punishment, but where do you draw the line? Does he have a few smacks once he is in pain, or is he thrashed? Let's say that she canes him until she can tell that he is no longer enjoying himself; does she administer an additional 5 strokes, or 10, or 30, possibly 50? Either way, this is only a question of degree. As I said earlier, a few years ago we did experiment with this, and I was spanked a few times with a hairbrush and a bath brush. The time leading up to the spanking was very thrilling, although once I had learned how unpleasant a spanking was in reality, that frisson quickly disappeared. After the application of a hairbrush to my bare bottom for a few minutes, I would be in serious pain, but I could ask Diane to stop, and she would. But that only worked because it was kink, not FLR. What would I have done had she continued, say for another five minutes? Although she had me locked over her knee with her right leg, had I been in extreme pain I daresay that I would have been able to get myself away from her. You might say that I'm a wimp and can't take much of a spanking, but there is a point at which everyone becomes a wimp. I have often seen ladies on FLR blogs saying that the punishment doesn't start until he is crying and begging for it to stop! That is precisely my point; up to that point the spanking is reward, rather than punishment, and after that point she is operating without consent.

It is common practice for the subject of a punishment spanking to have a "safe word" which will bring the spanking to an end. This just goes to show that all of his shouts of, "No, please stop, I'm sorry etc." are just an act - he doesn't really mean, "stop", he is just enjoying the fantasy. When he really wants to stop, he will say the safe word. Almost by definition there can be no safe word in a punishment spanking - when I was caned at school, I couldn't say some magic word to the headmaster to make him stop! If a spanking is going to be a punishment, then when it finishes is the decision of the spanker, not the person being spanked. If you use spanking as part of an FLR and you have a safe word, then do not fool yourself that this is punishment. There is nothing wrong with "funishment" within a relationship, but if you think that it is part of the disciplinary process, then you are mistaken.

You might adopt a "Consensual Non-Consent" approach, where he agrees to be punished without a safe word, but I believe that my point is still valid. The severity of the punishment is increased but I believe that the result is still the satisfaction of the man's fantasies rather than punishment. If the lady is concentrating on acting out her man's fantasies, then in what way is the relationship actually female led?

Of course, discipline does not have to rely on punishment to correct bad behaviour, it can also be based on rewarding good behaviour. In that case, then spanking may indeed have a place in FLR.

So, for all of those reasons, I am delighted to say that we don't spank. Let us know if you think differently and have found a way to may corporal punishment work in your relationship.

Brian

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Amazing