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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

Note

Yoongi's letter about Kobe. I cried so much because of that letter. I finally felt like maybe my feelings were validated because someone else was feeling the exact same way. I still cry when I read it. But it pushes me to deal with my mental health and get the help I need when I get really bad.

THE TIME BTS CANCELLED A CONCERT BECAUSE:

First, I will begin by giving you the facts of what exactly happened at the BTS concert in Kobe…

In December of 2015, BTS were scheduled to perform their HYYH concert in Kobe, Japan. The first concert on the 26th went smoothly as any other concert. However, the next day, the concert was cancelled suddenly.

Fans had moved into the venue as normal. Most of them had bought merch and waited in line for hours to be the first ones in. However, a few noticed that the concert didn’t start on time. It was delayed by about 20 minutes. Only 5 of the members made their way on stage. There was no intro VCR, music, or great lights- only the members, excluding Taehyung and Yoongi. A japanese translator informed the ARMYs that the concert would be suspended. The lights dimmed and the remaining members began to perform Hold Me Tight- one of the only songs that V assisted in writing. The members barely moved on the stage. Both the audience and their performers were frozen.

After Hold Me Tight ended, Let Me Know began to play- one of Suga’s first produced songs. They performed the song just as solemnly as they had Hold Me Tight before Namjoon then addressed the ARMYs, telling them that V and Suga didn’t feel well during practice and were rushed to the hospital. In fancams of this moment, you can hear the audience crying out

Because they were two members short, BTS had decided to cancel the concert, as it wouldn’t be fair to ARMY to see a performance without all the members. He told them that they would perform only the last song and he hoped they would enjoy it for Taehyung and Yoongi.

Then the concert ended.

Staff informed the audience that they would be refunded for the ticket and many fans left crying.

youtube

Taehyung was indeed sick. He had pushed himself too hard and began feeling faint during the practice of the 151227 concert. BigHit always takes extreme precaution when it comes to the care of their boys and Tae was immediately rushed to the hospital for a check up. He wasn’t terribly sick, but he certainly was not fit enough to perform their track list for the concert.

Suga was also said to be feeling ill.

Though as time passed, Suga was feeling “much better” for performances way before Taehyung was fully recovered.

However, it seemed that there was something awry. While having a sick and missing member is quite sad, many ARMYs at the concert noticed an especially heavy aura of sadness from the five men that stood before them. Some ARMYs say that Jin and Jungkook actually cried on the stage while performing Hold Me Tight and Let Me Know and others say that J-Hope looked sadder than they had ever seen him before.

THE LETTER

Yoongi knew that he had let ARMYs down and he addressed his feelings through a series of statuses on Twitter only a few weeks after the concert…

“Hello, this is Suga. Many people were curious as to what I was doing on my break, and to simply put it, I walked a lot, slept a lot, and thought a lot. I wanted to go on a trip to organize my thoughts before working on my mixtape. I also had a place I must go to. And I wanted to do things I was able to do not as a 24 year old BTS’ Suga, but as a 24 year old Min Yoongi. It was a time where I looked back at myself. The things I will say now are things I wanted to share not as a Singer and Fan, or as Bangtan and ARMY, but to talk to you as human to human.

The most upsetting time for me when I face a large number of people, is when I face myself who isn’t able to be fair to everyone. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but there are times I couldn’t do that. I think I’m still a person that lacks in many things.

The second day of the concert in Kobe.. I don’t think I’ve ever slept deeply after that day. Could it be because of the fact that I gave a wound to many people? Whenever I fell asleep, I would wake up with cold sweat.

Because I already once have not been able to go on stage before and have hurt many people, I said that I’ll go up (to perform) no matter what situation arises. Everyone tried to stop me. I really cried a ton at the situation of not being able to go up on stage. And I know crying is losing.

It’s really easy for me to cope with my own sorrow, but witnessing those who love me in sadness is very hard. I made them sad, once again. If I could go back to that day, I would go on stage no matter what.

So there was just one place to go. I went to Kobe during my break. Many people tried to stop me from going, but I didn’t want to be ashamed of myself any longer. So I just went to Kobe.

It was my second time visiting the concert venue after a concert. The first was Ax Hall at late night after finishing the first Red Bullet concert. The second time was the Kobe World Memorial Hall, at where I failed to perform.

I hate becoming a numb person. I didn’t want to take the love and these glorious days for granted. I didn’t want to be a numb person. That’s why I visited the venues again on my own.

But after the second day of the Kobe concert when I was unable to stand on stage, I didn’t have the courage to confidently confront the large number of people. So that’s why I visited Kobe, the concert hall again. I kept wandering around the area by the concert hall from the time I arrived there until the time our performance was due to begin that day.

From the ticketing booth to the entrance and the concert hall - I wanted to feel the same emotions as you all from every nook and corner. I felt many emotions. Happiness, the excited nervousness felt while waiting for the performance, sadness, resentment, anger, regret, etc. , I wanted to understand you all, and I do understand. So I’m sorry and apologetic, for I am not a perfect human being.

I’m a person who is weak, but acts strong. Once again I realized that I was a person who’s lacking. Although I’m not religious, I prayed at that place. After all at the end, it was a fated day. Even if it’s ended, let’s not let this heart become numb.

To me, who wanted to spend every moment alone, you all were taking up quite a large part (of my mind). Age and gender, nationality and religion, what language you use - all of that isn’t important to me. The day that we unexpectedly caught a Music Bank broadcast and boarded a plane and returned a day before planned I returned after organizing my many thoughts.

Once again, while feeling that I’m a blessed person, I felt that I need to be a person who lives every moment feeling thankful.

Thank you for making me a blessed person, ARMY,

Although I’m never able to say this because I’m bad at expressing myself.

Here I am conveying my feelings and thoughts once more through a piece of less-than-satisfactory writing.

I will live while being thankful of every moment as I am such a lacking human being.

I love you, ARMYs”

YOU CAN FIND THE LETTER ON TUMBLR HERE

Cr x

#never forget

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

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Dude, Baby is so good!!!! 😍 how can one be so talented. Read the 7 chapters huhuhu needing more!!! Great work!!!!

Thank u ! I'm working hard on the next chapter any chance I get! I'm sorry for the wait!

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

Text

Fake Love - pt 6

"Here." He placed a coffee on the desk.

Drinks weren't allowed near the computers or equipment but he was breaking his own rules.

"It's a thank you for helping me the other night when I was dying." He said.

"Ahh, thanks. I needed this." You held the cup between your sweater paws and moved to the couch.

There was a clear awkwardness in the air, but it was minimal. Nowadays it didn't feel so weird being around him. He seemed to be opening up. He actually made small talk occasionally.

"You didn't sleep well?" He asked.

"There was a couple arguing all night....They were really loud."

"What were they arguing about?" He asked, seemingly amused.

You looked at him. Was he really curious about something like this?

He scratched the back of his head. "It was over something stupid right? People in relationships provide stupid entertainment sometimes."

"It was pointless." You agreed. "One suspected the other of cheating. Once it gets to that point, there's no need to keep each other tied up. The endless fighting...it's so annoying."

He nodded. "What are they holding on to?...It's like a seesaw game that never ends. Not until one of them finally gives up."

"That's a good metaphor."

"Maybe I'll turn it into a song..."

"Maybe you should."

_______

"Your girlfriend?" You were a bit surprised but not that alarmed. It was Jungkook after all.

"Don't you see how natural this is?" His fingers curled in between yours. "How natural this always was? How could you not fall in love with your best friend?"

You stared at your hands intertwined.

He was right.

You two were always near each other, as if it was somehow necessary.

It was just the way you two were.

Being around him always felt right. Weirdly enough, you sought each other out a lot but that's what best friends do right?

Everyone had a best friend growing up, perhaps more than one, but Jungkook felt like the best of them all.

At the same time, he was more than that. He was the only person to just get you. There was no awkward getting to know each other phase. He just understood everything about you so easily.

He was your best friend and soulmate by definition.

Realizing this was a huge however.

You wondered if this was the type of love that people said lasted forever. Was he, the one? Did you really fall in love with your best friend?

Is this what that kind of love was supposed to feel like? Not overwhelming but natural.

Was it supposed to feel simple and genuine, as if it was always present from the start?

Admittedly throughout your time with him, there had been a few instances in which you found him making your heart flutter. On the other hand, it wasn't something you thought about too deeply.

You figured it was a normal occurrence with someone you felt so close to. You felt close to all of them but Jungkook was just...different.

You didn't remember how your romantic relationship began but it started making sense.

Jungkook knew everything about you after all.

A lingering fear and hurt still resided in your heart from your previous relationship with ****. A relationship you preferred to forget, if at all possible, but Jungkook knew about it.

He was the only one that knew about it. You trusted him with your life. At this point there were no secrets between the two of you.

Hopefully he knew just how much you cared.

You didn't know for sure if Jungkook was the one, although, you couldn't help but come to terms with the fact that it was entirely possible.

Jungkook somehow got under your skin. Of all people, he made you fall in love....

It seemed like the strangest yet most sensible thing.

Jungkookie...

The guy who would tease and annoy you somtimes was just Jungkook now, the guy who was able to comfort you when you felt so small and dumb. The guy who made sure to check up on you every few hours. The guy who could make you laugh wholeheartedly but also someone you could have deep conversations with.

Now he was looking at you with those not so innocent eyes, telling you how normal this all is.

You hated romance in the cheesy sense, but if he made up some terrible pet name then you wouldn't mind hearing it come from him.

Why were you so blind to his feelings in the first place?

You felt like a bad friend for not seeing it sooner. For not understanding his feelings as they were manifesting themselves right in front of your eyes.

You smiled. "Well, people always say that if you end up with your best friend then you're one of the lucky ones...I'll admit, the idea of us being together crossed my mind occasionally...at random times but that's normal between best friends right? It wasn't something I thought about too often, but I never outright hated the idea either."

"That's exactly why we agreed to try it out...." His eyes lit up but then he became more serious. "...When you disappeared, I thought you left me and everything else behind. I blamed myself for doing too much, or for not doing enough. I thought things were going well." He stroked your cheek with his thumb. "I thought you were happy...You can't force emotions like that. I know you loved me."

He thought you were faking it, and left. How heartbroken he must have been. That why he hesitated when he walked in.

He didn't know what to do.

The way he was looking at you now, the way he was holding your face in his hand, it all felt new. It felt real.

You liked staring into his eyes, confirming all his sincerity.

"Why would you think I was capable of doing that to you? I don't remember us being together together, but I trust you more than anyone else. I care about you more than anyone else." You sat up and reached for his hand again.

"I've always felt the same way...but the night you went missing...I thought the worst of you." He said, feeling a bit ashamed. His eyes wandered away a bit. "I thought you left because of that other guy..."

He was biting his lips now and you knew he was still upset. Not at you anymore but at himself.

"Hey," You squeezed his hand. "He has nothing to do with us. If anything, as a friend, you've helped me move on. I'm sure that as more than a friend, you also helped me move on from him. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this but I'm more sorry that I don't remember us."

"We can start over. We can take things slow."

You smirked. "Look at us. We're sharing a bed and it's not the first time. I remember our late night gaming sessions."

"I haven't even touched our games since you left...but one of those nights, things changed. That was when we began an official relationship." He recalled.

"Really?" You listened attentively.

"We probably drank too much but I think the alcohol made us brave."

"How so?"

"We talked for a bit. It started getting chilly so I gave you my sweater."

You couldn't help but smirk. "A real gentleman."

"I was shivering but then you looked at me and said I was getting more handsome everyday."

You laughed. "No way."

"You did!" He pouted as he spoke. "After a while there was no space between us...just like now..............I leaned in.............like this." He said, reenacting that night. He was staring at your lips as he got closer.

"Jungkook..." You said anxiously and he smiled.

"Right, that's exactly what you said..so I stopped. Like I said, we can take it slow." He leaned back.

You couldn't help but ask. "Did we.....?....um..."

Suddenly he became smug. "Do the devil's tango together?"

You sighed, blushing bright red and he started cracking up.

"No, no. What do you take me for?"

"No, I'm just confused about...." You sighed. "I need to be completely honest with you first."

"Okay, tell me. What are you thinking?"

"I know I had a slight, tiny crush on Yoongi. One I never acted upon or even acknowledge most of the time...You know, maybe it was because I worked with him a lot, I probably just wanted to get closer to him............You know how he was before, he hated me. If I agreed to be your girlfriend then most likely I was over it, 100%, but it was something I remembered and thought you should know."

He nodded but he seemed disappointed. "I know. We talked about it...but there's something you need to know."

"What?" You asked worriedly.

He sighed. "You might be surprised but if you really think about it, you won't be surprised at all..."

Lost, you looked at him expectantly.

"Yoongi didn't renew his contract. The deadline was a few weeks ago and he didn't sign the new contract."

It took you a moment to process what he said.

Even then, you didn't believe it.

Yoongi wasn't into the whole fame and fortune thing but music was his life. He liked working on Bangtan's music.

All things aside, objectively watching him as a professional, it was clear how much he loved to work as a producer.

He never came off as the type to disregard the impact this would have on everyone; the guys, the fans.

"He didn't renew?...." You repeated, attempting to make sense of it but to no avail. "Why? How? How could he do that?"

"I don't know what's going to happen next but I think Bang PD will try to talk to him. He might try to persuade him to sign."

"I want to talk to him. Maybe I can persuade him to change his mind, I don't know, do something." You said.

"He doesn't want to deal with anyone right now. It was always obvious he never really had his heart in Bangtan."

"But anyone with a heart wouldn't turn their back on their fans. Making music, it's something that you can't just let go of either." You explained.

Sure, you didn't feel super close to Yoongi but you just knew how he felt about music.

Jungkook could only understand a parallel of how much music means to you, and to Yoongi.

Jungkook loved singing but he was still learning to create music from scratch. Yoongi had that undeniable passion for making music that you understood, because that feeling was the sole reason you became a producer in the first place.

"Well he did, and he's screwing all of us over at the same time."

This was the end, wasn't it?

"No. Sad as it is, your career is far from over. You would do great as a solo artist and Bang PD wouldn't let you go even if you wanted to." You answered.

He shook his head. "That's a conversation for another time. Let's not talk about this now. I don't want you to worry. Get some rest so you can recover quickly."

He laid back again.

"How can I not worry? How can I not be sad? I want things to be okay. You guys are my life now."

"They will be. If not, you still have me."

"What about everything and everyone else?"

"Don't cry..." He whispered. "Don't cry because of him. You're tired. Just listen to my voice. Even if this is the end, I will always keep singing just for you. I'll try my hardest to make you happy."

You were surprised by his words. Being consoled by him was a relatively new feeling.

You weren't embarrassed anymore...and actually liked this new side of him. You could almost believe him.

You hid your face in his side and quietly let the tears roll down your cheeks as he started humming. His hand rubbed your back and he began singing some of the covers he recorded before with your help.

After that moment you confirmed your feelings for him because you needed him more than ever, and he needed you.

The both of you were about to lose the thing you loved the most.

It was instant how desperate you became to keep him by your side.

He was trying to be strong about this and his first priority was you.

If he broke down then you would do anything to ease his pain, he knew that...or at least you wanted him to know.

Only for tonight you would be selfish and let him baby you.

Only for that night did you allow yourself to feel the pain of fear and uncertainty hanging above your head.

_____

You woke up before him.

The nurse came in quietly and checked your vitals. You just stared at Jungkook sleeping so soundly, it was hard too look away.

Angry tears rolled down your cheeks. A part of you felt bad for him, but you didn't understand why.

You went to the bathroom and washed up before breakfast came around. He would surely wake up if he smelled food with his sensitive sense of smell.

In the meantime you began to pack, absolutely sure that you would be discharged that day.

Thankfully Jungkook left his phone on the side table so you quickly reached for it. To be safe, you locked yourself in the bathroom.

Yoongi's number wasn't in his contacts anymore but you had memorized it a while ago.

"How much longer are you going to torture us? Let me see her. Let me see her you sick fu-" He answered but you interrupted him.

"Yoongi." You breathed, breaking down.

"Y/N?" He said, surprised to hear your voice. "Y/N, where are you exactly? I'm coming right now. Don't hang up."

You heard someone yell after him but his footsteps were already echoing loudly through the phone as he ran through the halls.

"On the sixth floor. Room 509. He's here with me. Yoongi please don't hurt him. I just want to go home."

"They're going to try to arrest me. Get out of the room. You can help me explain everything." He was breathing rapidly as he sprinted up the stairs.

You rushed out of the bathroom and grabbed your things.

Jungkook began stirring awake and with the commotion that began to build outside, you knew Yoongi was only a few seconds away.

You weren't scared. Jungkook wouldn't do anything if he caught you trying to leave. He would never make you fearful but despite his actions, he's only made you worry.

It always took him a while to come to his senses when he's waking up so you just remained calm and placed his phone back on the small table besides him.

Then you walked out of the room, colliding into Yoongi's arms.

"Thank God you remembered." He breathed, and you could feel his heart pounding. He held you so tightly it almost hurt but you didn't care.

That moment was so surreal and you felt how serious the situation was then. No longer did you sympathize with Jungkook who seemed like a lost kid, making dumb mistakes.

He became someone capable of hurting the ones he loved the most.

Seeing Yoongi in such a state was heartbreaking.

"I can't believe this happened." You whimpered. "I can't believe he went that far.

He held you closer than ever. "It's over. I'm here. You're okay now. I never thought I'd be able to say I love you again. I thought you forgot about us."

You sobbed into his arms, apologizing uselessly and the cops stopped in there tracks as soon as they saw you guys together.

"Miss, are you sure that this man is your boyfriend? Your guardian specifically stated he was not allowed near you for safety purposes." The officer said.

"My guardian is the one who shouldn't be near me. I can explain everything. Please let my friends come upstairs too."

The doctor finally showed up, short of breath from trying to catch up.

"Get us a room and keep him away from us." Yoongi said sternly.

"Sign here." The doctor looked at everyone with a shocked look on his face. He was definitely flustered. "It's a form that changes guardianship."

You quickly took it from his hands and just then Jungkook rushed out of the room.

"Y/N." He said, only looking at you, only focusing on you and nothing or no one else. "What are you doing?" He stepped forward.

You squeezed Yoongi's hand, warning him, pleading that he wouldn't do anything, that he wouldn't react. If at any time you wished for him to read your mind, it was then.

Somehow he stayed frozen in place. Somehow he got the message.

When Jungkook stepped closer, you fell to the floor, scared that he would even dare touch your hand.

That's all it took for the cops to confirm that Jungkook needed to be kept away from you.

Jungkook didn't look at Yoongi, at the doctor, or at the cops. His eyes held yours as you got up again, but his expression was that of pure agony.

"Y/N, don't leave me." He said. "No, you can't do this. Y/N, listen to me."

You couldn't look away from his teary eyes but you never squeezed someone's hand so tight. Yoongi squeezed back, placing his other hand on the small of your back reassuringly.

"Y/N he lied to you. He broke your heart. I saw it in your eyes. I swear on everything that I will never hurt you. Y/N, remember what you said about us. Y/N, PLEASE." He begged.

"Y/N." Yoongi spoke and you finally tore your gaze away from Jungkook who was now being escorted away.

Yoongi's strength was the only thing keeping you upright. He even covered your ears.

You couldn't find the words to say how heartbroken you were that this was all happening. That your best friend was the cause of this mess.

Everything you had just convinced yourself of being true was pure bullshit and he let you believe it.

You were too distraught to sign anything. Yoongi was trying to calm you down but it wasn't until the rest of the guys showed up that you felt surrounded by a shield of protection from hurt again. They were there for you at a moment when you needed them the most.

"Sign it. We can go home after the doctor confirms that you're okay." Yoongi assured you.

You nodded and signed the paper. It felt like you were signing away your friendship with Jungkook. It was the beginning of the end with him.

The guys stayed by your side as the doctor did his routine check up. After an hour or so, the rest of the paperwork was filled out, mostly by Yoongi.

There was silence as they walked you to the van. There was silence when you arrived home with Yoongi.

There was silence for a few days as you slipped into a depression that made you feel lifeless.

Yoongi understood that you needed time but he never left your side and you didn't want him to.

You remembered how it was before with him. Sometimes words weren't necessary. Just being by his side was more than any comfort in the world.

He cared for you in more ways than you were used to. He cooked and cleaned, and he even took extra time out of his schedule just to stay home a few more hours a day.

You would just lie in bed or on the couch, watching old movies that didn't have much substance to them.

It felt wrong that a few days ago you were in Jungkook's arms, admitting that you had feelings for him.

"....Where is Jungkook?...." You asked quietly one night at the dinner table.

Yoongi looked up from his plate, surprised to hear you speak about him for the first time since the hospital.

"Bang PD sent him home for a few months."

You didn't say anything else. Obviously the company made some excuse as to why the group was pushing back the comeback date.

Still....Yoongi didn't bring up the fact that he didn't renew the contract. Last thing you remembered was that you guys saw things differently on his decision not to renew.

"I don't know how to begin explaining what happened in that room." You felt your lips tremble.

"Then don't. What matters now is clearing things up. Ask me anything. Do you remember everything?"

"I remember everything." You assured him.

"So you remember how disappointed you were with me?" He avoided your gaze as he asked you that.

"I don't blame you for doing what you think is best. I feel like I wasn't supportive enough. Bangtan is over now. I have to get used to it."

"Do you still love me?" He watched your eyes carefully now.

"Of course I do....I just don't know what's wrong. He broke something in me."

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't apologise....and don't ask me if I still love you. You did nothing wrong."

"I just needed confirmation. You look at me differently."

"I know........He made me realize that there are still walls between us. There are things I haven't told you. Things I've always been too scared to talk about."

"That's a relief." He stated.

"A relief? What do you mean?"

"It means you still want to seem perfect to me. As long as you still love me, you'll keep feeling that way."

You thought about it and he was right. For the first time since leaving that hospital you felt something else besides shame.

"Is it the same for you?"

He nodded. "I try really hard to seem perfect but I failed many times already..."

You almost laughed. "No.....Think about it this way...in my eyes, I messed up more than you have. You're still pretty perfect."

"It's okay if you need time to tell me everything. I know this isn't a trust issue thing. I understand you. We're more alike that you think."

His words made you feel more comfortable again.

You guys cleaned up and got ready for bed. He was excited to show you a few things that you had missed in regards to the company, the general population and songs he's been working on.

He was still giving it his all these last few months and it was his way of thanking his fans.

"Was it hard? Waiting for me this whole time..." You asked, wondering how crazy it must have been for him.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever dealt with. I was losing my mind. No one knew where you were for weeks. The company found out that you were in the hospital only after Jungkook did. I rushed right over but he made sure no one was allowed to see you."

"I woke up that morning...and I remembered everything. To be honest it was overwhelming. It's like I fell in love with you and found out you quit all at once. Then I realized what he did to me and...." Stupid tears brimmed your eyes.

"The people closest to you can hurt you the most. Everyone knows that. He knew that, and he didn't care. He was never your friend in the first place. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you won't feel hurt anymore."

"It's hard to think about it that way. He was my friend before you were."

"I could say the same thing and look at how fast his loyalty disappeared."

"That's true." You felt a bit of your self-pity diminish.

"There's a lot I haven't told you. I don't want you to feel guilty for hiding stuff from me. It's normal. You don't have to tell me all your darkest secrets and thoughts right away. The only thing this should tell you is that you're still processing whatever happened."

"I guess I'm also embarrassed when it comes to explaining the stupid things that have happened to me. It's hard for us to have deep conversations in the first place. We don't like to show weakness."

"We're not perfect. We can only try to be vulnerable sometimes."

"Tell me something. Tell me something about you that you've been hiding. I'll do the same."

"You go first." He tried to switch it on you.

You contemplated telling him your whole reason for being there in the first place but it was too heavy of a topic to bring up now.

"Something embarrassing?" You asked.

"The most embarrassing." He smirked.

You inhaled and felt your eyebrows furrow in a worry.

"I'm being sarcastic." He pulled you onto his lap and you shook your head.

"No, I'm not going to chicken out. Let me think."

He seemed amused but you told him not to laugh no matter what.

"Let me think too." He said, getting ready to be just as vulnerable.

You took a deep breath and finally looked into his eyes.

"Min Yoongi...." You began.

He sat there attentively.

"When you go to sleep....."

His eyes began squinting with each word that came out of your mouth.

"I take a picture of you because I think you look really cute."

"That's it?" He asked with a chuckle. "...I guess you lost all those pictures then huh? I'll get you a new phone tomorrow."

"You don't think it's weird?"

He placed his hand on your cheek and shook his head. "I do the same."

"What?!" You exclaimed. "No way. Let me see your phone."

He laughed wholeheartedly and admitted that he was just kidding.

"I don't look pretty to you when I'm drooling or what?" You asked, feeling the embarrassment now.

"Of course you do. I live in front of the camera so using it just feels weird to me. I'd rather look at you with my own eyes. Do you want to hear my secret now?"

"Mhm." You forgot your own embarrassment and got excited to hear what he had to say. You had to remind yourself to take him seriously because that's what this was about. Being vulnerable and getting closer.

"Y/N......this is embarrassing only because I haven't really known how to initiate things between us."

"Initiate things?" You repeated.

"I think you're so pretty.... that sometimes I have to hide how excited you make me feel.....if you understand what I'm referring to."

"Even at work?" You asked, watching his cheeks get red.

"Yeah....." He admitted. "Even at work sometimes."

You giggled and hid your face in his neck, unable to make eye contact. There was a tiny silence as you thought of how to respond.

"Well.....it's not that hard to just initiate something....I mean we are together...and I'm not opposed to sex before marriage or anything like that....You know that I'm not a virgin, and I know that you aren't either.....we're both adults here...and I obviously see you in the same way..." You were rambling but it gave him time to think.

"I know it's dumb. I'm not the type to shy away from these sort of things."

You sat up again and met his eyes. "Then what makes you so hesitant with me?"

"You're so fucking beautiful Y/N." He said, almost as if he was complaining.

You felt your breath hitch and your heart race.

"I don't think I can handle rejection well from you." He chuckled.

"You have a lot of pride." You laughed as you straddled him.

"Be careful." He warned.

"I'm not doing anything." You stated. "Pride looks good on you...."

"Apparently it turns you on." He teased.

"I'm not turned on." You laughed. "I just think it's good that we talk about this."

"Alright......music or no music?" He asked.

"Doesn't matter to me. If there is music I like it really low." You replied.

"Same....What about dirty talk?"

"It makes me laugh if it's not at the right moment."

"Is that a bad thing though?" He joked.

"Laughing during sex? No." You giggled. "Mmm....what about whips and chains?"

"Are you into that?!" He seemed surprised.

"No." You laughed. "But I do like being submissive...make me feel small. Make me feel like you're the one in charge."

"That I can do." He assured. "I like talking to you like this. You scared me these past few days. I finally got you back but you were so quiet."

"I was scared but now I'm not....I hate crying in front of you. I hate when you see me as a weak person. That embarrasses me the most."

"I never think of you as a weak person. You're the opposite of that actually. It's why I started liking you in the first place. You're not afraid to speak your mind and defend your opinion."

"We're both stubborn like that." You shrugged.

He exhaled. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

___________

#bts fanfics #bts fanfictions #bts fics #yoonkook fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #bts fan fictions

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

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UPDATE

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't been as active as I promised I would be. I've been dealing with some health issues.

Nothing major but still significant enough to slow down my progress.

I appreciate your patience. It means the entire world to me that you are still reading my stories.

I've stated multiple times in the past that no matter what, I will always finish a storyline. I will not just abandon a fic before completing it.

However, I do apologise for the delay in the release of new chapters. I know Baby got a lot of love so I especially apologise for its delay.

I will continue to work on all my current stories as best as I can. Although there are no set release dates for the next chapters, I can assure you that my DMs are always open for one shot requests, scenarios, etc.

Since they take a shorter amount of time to complete than long chapters I can get them done sooner if inspiration strikes. I won't be able to do all but maybe your specific idea sparks a quick and easy to write piece, so don't be afraid to send me a message!

Once again I thank you for your the support!

#to whoever still reads my posts 😅

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

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Looking for...

If anyone is interested in being a beta for a writer please let @muraae know!

They are currently writing BTS fics and are in need of someone who can help:

- keep the plot on track

- provide suggestions and/or improvements

- monitor spelling/grammar

- provide overall feedback as a reader

Currently, they are working on a fic that is inspired by Hades and Persephone with elements of Beauty and the Beast, Labyrinth, and Korean mythology.

It’s also Namjoon centered so <333

Here’s a snippet of the fic to gauge your interest!!

What did you think was going to happen? Were you going to waltz up to the Dead King’s throne and claim victory for winning the trials?

Or were you going to sneak inside my room and wait till I was asleep to strike?

Once you had slain me would you have taken my mask back with you to your world in rejoice that the evil has been defeated? Or perhaps a kind and loving lord once the spell is broken?

The trials are me. The mask is me. The spell is me.

The Dead King is me.

I am who the world sees me to be. I am, and merely am, the monster of this tale.

As a beta, you’ll get first access to great chapters! Don’t hesitate to send a DM! As a writer, having a beta can be a HUGE help. I wish I had one to help me with my previous works. Getting a second opinion and putting your trust into someone else is a great way to make friends in the BTS fanfic community.

I or @muraae look forward to hearing from you!

#bts #btsfanfics #bts fics #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #bts fanfictions

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

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Is your fanfic ‘Baby’ still ongoing?

Yes, I'm currently working on the next chapter ^_^

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

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YOOO THAT ENDING BRUH U CANT JUST DO US LIKE THAT AHHH

What ending??? 😂

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

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Anyone know which date the first picture is from?

Vocês são tudo pra mim, obrigada por serem quem são, obrigada por existirem, obrigada por tudo que fizeram por mim mesmo estando bem longe… Nessas horas que vemos que a distância não significa nada, uma pessoa pode te fazer feliz, melhorar seu humor e te ajudar de diversas formas mesmo estando fisicamente longe de você.

Obrigado por não desistirem.

Vocês são nossa casa. 💜🌷

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ibangtanthings · 6 years ago

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Fake Love - pt 5

Forgetting Jungkook's existence became easier with time.

The guys were counting down towards comeback season so they were practicing more and more each week.

It would get more difficult to see Yoongi outside of work, but he would always come home and sleep by your side.

It was so surreal living together. On the outside looking in, it might have seemed like things were moving fast.

You judged those who took steps too hastily in a relationship but your circumstances were an exception.

Yoongi never bought the apartment with the intention of the two of you living together so soon, yet it felt strangely natural.

In the middle of the night or early hours of the morning, he would plop down onto the bed and pull you closer. You would sleep for only a few more hours while he got as much rest as he needed.

Waking him up was the highlight of your day. His hair would be all messy and his lips would be all pouty. His yawns were adorable but his movements made you laugh. They were slow and tired.

"Just watching you makes me want to go to sleep again." You sighed happily.

"So let's go back to bed." He yawned again.

"No. We can't. You have to dye your hair today!" You said excitedly.

"How is that fun to watch? Just admit you want to spend more time with me."

"I don't miss you. I see you everyday." You stated.

"Am I being too clingy?" He joked.

You laughed. "Yeah, in bed especially."

He blushed as he laughed. "Is it a crime?"

Something about going through the trauma with Jungkook made you guys closer. Yoongi initiated more PDA.

It wasn't anything extreme but he would hold your hand in front of the members. He told them not to make a big deal about it but they did for a week or so.

Despite the way things were going so well, there were tiny instances in which Jungkook still preoccupied your thoughts.

Seeing you and Yoongi together must have bothered him but he couldn't do much about it. Still his demeanor changed a lot. He wasn't the same cheerful, bratty, and easy going guy anymore. He wouldn't laugh at jokes, he wouldn't try to make everyone laugh.

He preferred to be alone now.

The rest of the members would invite him to places but even then he seemed distant or uninterested.

On your birthday the guys surprised you with a cake. They sang and gave you gifts. Yoongi kissed your cheek and they all had heart eyes suddenly.

Jungkook was putting on a good face in front of the other staff members but he did congratulate you as everyone was busy talking.

"I got you something....it would look weird if I didn't. Happy Birthday." He handed you a small bag.

You nodded. "Thanks. Don't feel like you have to from now on. A card is fine. I appreciate the effort though." You gave him a sad smile.

It did feel odd not celebrating with him the way you could have.

Namjoon came just in time to break the awkward moment. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." You answered gratefully. "Are you guys off the practice now?"

"Yeah." He exhaled. "We'll buy you a real birthday dinner soon though. I promise."

"I can't wait. I'll order the most expensive steak." You teased, following him back to the other side of the room where Yoongi finished distributing slices of cake to people.

"We're leaving now. I'll see you in the morning." He said, feeding you a bite of cake.

"Okay." You smiled. "Thanks for my surprise party."

"Go home afterwards. Don't work on your birthday."

You scoffed. He worked on his birthday.

He kissed your cheek again and everyone let out a collective "WAAAAOOOOW," complimenting him on his skills as a boyfriend.

You pushed him and he walked out of there smugly. The members were sure to tease him once you weren't in sight anymore. The staff made you flustered and embarrassed, but you appreciated their participation in your surprise.

Any worries you had of their judgement was stupid. That evening proved that you were a part of their huge family. Some expressed their hopes that you would stay for a long time and you hoped so too.

While the day had gone by quite well, your walk home alone made you feel a bit lonely. You missed Yoongi for real now.

He was busy so you couldn't do anything about it.

This feeling reminded you of what the explained about being in a hotel room after a concert. The excitement and momentary high would come crashing down once you were alone with your thoughts.

That feeling would go away after a relaxing bath so that's what you did.

As your dried your hair you spotted Jungkook's present on the table where you left it.

The bag was small and gold. If this present was expensive then it would feel weird accepting it. A part of you regretted not checking right there and then. On the other hand, you would only be able to return it to him in private.

Propping the bag open, you spotted an envelope and a small card.

A gift card which had no information on it other than the account number and security code.

You opened the envelope and read the letter.

Happy Birthday....

I didn't know what else to say other than I'm sorry things are different this time around. Still, it didn't feel right not getting you anything.

It's a gift card for anywhere. Use it anyway you want. There's no limit but it expires in a six months. Yoongi has a favorite restaurant by the Han River. You probably know the one. Maybe you should bring him there sometime.

You couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of Yoongi's face if you offered to cover a tab that was quite expensive.

The restaurant Yoongi liked would end in a night costing about a thousand dollars.

There's no way you could take him there and use Jungkook's money to cover it.

You put the card back in to the envelope and bag, then set it aside to give it back later.

When Yoongi asked about it the next morning, you said it was a gift card to a coffee shop. He scoffed and asked how much it was. You had to make up a sensible number so you said $100.

"You deserve at least an unlimited use card." He sighed. "Just toss it out. You don't need it anyways, just use my card."

"So you can take advantage of me owing you? No thanks."

"I would never." He said unconvincingly.

"It would be kind of hot if you did though." You admitted.

He shrugged. "Well..if you really want me to. We can make that happen."

You chuckled. "We?"

"I still haven't given you your present." He said shying away.

"I thought the party was my present. It was great. I wish you guys could have stayed."

"Me too. I couldn't just leave it at that though." He reached into his back pocket and took out two rectangular sheets of paper.

He held them up to your face and smiled. "Two tickets to New York City. How about you show me around the Chinatown you love so much?"

"What?!" You screeched and inspected the flight tickets. "When?"

"Before the tour starts. One good trip before the hard work begins."

"Just us two?"

"Mhm." He nodded.

You screamed and hugged him, thrilled like a child on their favorite birthday. "YES!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you so much. I promise you're going to have the best time."

"Don't worry about me. I figured you've probably gotten homesick one time or another so why not go just for a weekend? I want you to make the most of it."

"I love you so much." You hugged him back gratefully.

"You're just saying that because I'm spoiling you." He teased.

"No, I mean it. If I say it too regularly you'll get sick of me."

You were being serious but he laughed. "No. I love you. I would be dead without you."

"Then what were you before we got close? Before we met?"

"Don't bring that up. I was a jerk. I've changed. I'm more considerate now. Look at how well I spoil you." He pouted.

"You're right. You always give me more than I could ever give you." You sighed.

"I don't think so. Anyways, you shouldn't be worried about how much you give me or I give you. That's not the type of relationship we have. You said it already. You love me and that's enough for me. I love you, is that enough for you?"

"Yeah. No need for romance or anything like that, although you sound really romantic right now." You smiled.

"I'm trying." He admitted.

"That's enough." You acknowledged, kissing him again.

It felt good settling the issue of affection for each other. PDA, gifts, kinds words...they were nice but they weren't necessary all the time. Despite his worries, his love was enough for you. It always was.

Establishing that once more seemed silly. You loved him more and more each day and it was a strange feeling because you never loved someone like that before.

You wondered if it was the same for him.

____

Packing for the trip became a fun pastime. You visited store after store, exploring the markets and building up more excitement as the day grew closer.

Returning the gift to Jungkook flew out of your mind that week until you noticed the small, gold bag on your dresser one day after doing laundry.

Sighing, you grabbed the bag and headed on over to the building.

He wasn't hard to find. Jungkook was in the gym, but working out alone instead of during regular training hours with the group.

When he noticed you walk in, he was on the treadmill.

Before, he would just slow down and you guys would talk. Maybe you would exercise too.

Today he hopped off and grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off his face.

You took slow steps towards him and he saw the bag in your hand.

"Hey." He said, pretending like he didn't know why you were here.

"I can't accept this." You said apologetically.

"I know. I just needed an excuse to talk to you." He said.

"What?" You scoffed.

"He hasn't signed the contract Y/N."

You were going to go off on him for lying but his words were so serious.

Hurt registered on your face but you refused to believe him. Then again why would he lie at this point? It's been weeks.

"He hasn't signed the contract yet and I don't think he's going to."

"Yes he did. He promised he would."

"So he's been lying? To who?"

"I know what you're trying to do. I'm leaving." You dropped the bag then turned around but he grabbed your arm, and pulled you closer, making you face him again.

He was right against you now, face to face.

"I'm only looking out for you. He's lying right to your face. How could you be so blindingly in love? Haven't you noticed the members being different around him?"

They had been more distant but you assumed it was because the comeback date was near. Everyone was busy and tensions were running high. Yoongi just preferred extra time to relax.

"Let go of me." You replied sternly.

"I told you he didn't care, but you do. You wouldn't be so calm about this otherwise. That's when I knew he probably lied to you."

"Well you know how to fix this so just do it already." You retorted.

"I'm not sorry, I'm sorry for you. I won't apologize to him. Not when he's the one lying to you everyday."

"Let go of me Jungkook. You have no business treating me this way. We're strangers now. You shouldn't even be talking to me informally."

He looked at you angrily and let go. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He said sternly. "Just remember what I said; when he breaks your heart, don't come to me. I'm the one who won't accept your apology."

Without responding to his nonsense, you finally left. Your legs were practically running away.

Doubting Yoongi wasn't your first thought, it was finding him and telling him about the bullshit Jungkook just pulled.

He was just trying to make Yoongi the bad guy again.

If anything happened you promised to tell Yoongi and that's what you planned on doing.

"Where are you? I need to see you."

"Home. I just got here. Why? Did something happen?"

"I'm fine. It's better if I explain in person." You exhaled. "I'll be there soon."

"I'll pick you up."

"No." You replied quickly. "I want to be out of the building. Jungkook is here."

"Okay, I'll meet you halfway."

With that you headed off towards the subway. It was only a ten minute walk from the building but it was hot.

The convenience store had a good lemonade so you quickly purchased one and went towards the station.

On the way there you saw people going about their day, laughing and smiling but you couldn't do the same.

The more you thought about the guys demeanor around Yoongi the more Jungkook's story made sense.

Stop thinking about it. Yoongi's going to clear things up. There's no point in doubting him. He wouldn't lie about something like this.

"Did he do something again?"

"It's partly my fault. I was going to return the gift card. I thought it would prove to him that we really are done. It wasn't a gift card...I didn't want you to be offended...I wasn't so I lied..."

"What was it?"

"An actual card with no limit. He wanted me to use it within six months. He even suggested I take you out one day. Turns out it was all an excuse to get me to meet him. He knew I wouldn't accept it." You frowned.

"You should have told me you were going to return it. Anyways I'm not mad." He reached for your hand. "What happened when you returned it?"

"He said you didn't sign the contract. He said he wanted me to know the truth but it's a lie right? You signed it."

"I didn't." He admitted right away.

You pulled your hand away from his. "You didn't?"

"Y/N, I know I said I would but I was just waiting until the day before."

"For what? For you to change your mind?"

"I keep changing my mind. I don't know what else to say."

You looked down disappointed, "I get that seven years is a lot...but if I were in your position and I had millions of fans who are counting on me I would sign it without hesitation."

"You're not in my position. There's more to this than just fans."

"Is it not worth it? All the shitty things you have to do? Is it not worth it to know that you're helping someone out, somewhere?"

He chuckled. "Who's helping me huh?"

"I am. That's the whole reason why I came here in the first place. Bang PD was afraid this would happen, that's why he hired me. I'm supposed to make your life easier."

You realized then that you were actually doing a terrible job.

"We don't understand each other..that's fine, but I asked you before, is my love enough for you or is this going to be the reason we break up?"

He was turning this on you.

You felt like you were going in circles. Every other time you saw him you were either ecstatic or sobbing.

This wasn't the person you wanted to be.

He might have felt normal and at peace with you but your world was chaotic around him. It was becoming exhausting.

"No...because I can put up with a lot if I really love someone. That's how I show affection I guess." You said, realizing this for the first time.

It made sense now, all the trauma you went through with your ex. It was your biggest flaw. It was what made you so annoyingly weak.

That's not love. You imagined Jungkook saying....

"Be honest with yourself Y/N. Will you still love me if I don't sign that contract?"

"Be honest with yourself. Will you really not sign the contract?"

"I don't know." He said honestly. "It feels like we're talking in circles...I guess this is why they say never mix your personal life with business. It just gets messy."

"It's harder than I imagined...." You agreed.

"So what's your answer? Will you still love me?"

You took a deep breath. "It's not a switch Yoongi....of course I will."

He exhaled. "I was going crazy for a second. I thought you were done with me."

"I'm gonna go for a walk." You said.

"Wait. I wanted to take you out for lunch."

"I just want to be alone right now."

"Are you upset?"

"Yes. You lied to me. This whole time I thought you signed the contract already. There's a huge chance you won't sign it and that makes me question who you really are. We can agree to disagree but that doesn't me I'm not mad. I need time to get over it."

"Time? Away from me?"

"No, just time to think. I'll see you when I get home okay?"

"Y/N, I'm sorry for lying. Don't go. Let's have lunch."

"I'll meet you for dinner. I promise." You began walking away and he let you go.

He was giving you your space and you liked that, but Jungkook's words kept coming back.

Selfish. You were being selfish right? It was Yoongi's life after all........

How could you of all people judge him? You left the fame and fortune behind at record speed.

Yet, this bad feeling wouldn't leave your body. It was hard to believe that he was capable of doing such a thing to his fans this far into it. It had been years.

You didn't have many hardcore fans looking up to you. They were mostly ****'s fans, and only your fan by association. Producers didn't usually get much attention but your name was everywhere only because of him.

Yoongi was more than a producer. He was a star, an idol to many. They adored him because he made their day in the smallest of ways. A simple picture of him, a simple video. That's all it took to keep them going.

How could he just walk away from them?

And if he did, there was no doubt that you would still love him but what does that make you?

Someone blinded by love, like Jungkook said?

Someone refusing to see your partner's flaws? Or someone putting their own beliefs aside and trying to understand the other person?

You never met Yoongi for dinner that day. Instead you sent him a message telling him you'd be back in a week's time.

No one had seen or heard from you during that time period.

You needed space and Bang PD was fine with that. What he didn't expect was a whole three week absence. No one expected it and no one thought it was alright. They knew something was off, but it wasn't your fault.

The final day of your one week break was a really gloomy one. The hotel provided you with a voucher to a nearby noodle restaurant. It was the perfect comfort food during the cloudy weather.

The food was so good you returned for dinner in the evening. It was a late dinner, around 11 PM. By then the fog had settled, making visibility very difficult. You couldn't see past a few yards.

The owner was kind enough to give you an umbrella in case it rained on your walk back to your hotel.

Sleepy, you headed back through the thick foggy streets. No one was out anymore. Hardly any cars were on the road.

Everywhere you looked, an eery and haunting street looked back at you.

Refusing to let your fear get the best of you, with umbrella in hand doubling as a weapon, you trekked on.

Your imagination would keep you company as you made your way back. A part of you contemplated just going back home to Yoongi. You could always go back to the hotel in the morning to check out.

Longing tugged at your emotions as you read his text messages full of apologies and I miss you's.

Some of his messages clearly showed that he was upset.

Time, I'll give that to you. But a week? It's too much. Come back home. Do I have to beg? He would say.

Rereading his messages actually put a smile on your face. At least he was actively trying to get you back home. It was funny thinking about how he went about writing you all these texts, but it also made you feel a bit sadistic.

You found yourself walking and reading his texts again. A car's tired squealed, trying to come to a half but it was too late. The phone dropped from your hands as you were catapulted a couple of yards down the street.

No one knew what happened until Jungkook received a call from the hospital.

He was still your primary contact stored in your phone since it was programmed to highlight the number you've called the most.

The number of calls you had with Yoongi didn't surpass the ones you've had with Jungkook just yet.

You didn't get around to changing it manually, by the time the accident occurred.

Jungkook saw Yoongi head into Bang PD's office. He hurried and placed his ear by the door.

Bang PD didn't sound as cheerful as usual. He sounded angry.

"I don't know where she is." Yoongi said.

"This can turn into a missing persons case. I will file a report if I don't see her by the end of the day, so if you're hiding her, now is the time to stop. This isn't what I expected when I allowed her to come to this company under your training. You of all people, I assumed, was responsible enough to not date a staff member. I only allowed this because it was you. Now look at the situation."

"I don't know where she is." Yoongi raised his voice in a panic. "I don't know what else to do."

"Find her. Read through your messages maybe she left some evidence. Call her family. Ask the guys. Don't just hide out in your studio. Is this what love does to you? It pulls you away from your family? I heard there's issues with Jungkook."

"And you assume it's because of me? He's not the little golden maknae that can do no wrong."

Jungkook stepped away from the door and headed back to the practice room.

He even went through his own messages with you to see if maybe you had ever mentioned a place you wanted to go to. Someplace you could be at, hiding.....but from who?

Why would you want to hide from him? His actions weren't enough to warrant that kind of response.

The following day there was a photoshoot. The scene was similar to one of a long time ago. A house party.

Jungkook waited patiently to get Yoongi alone after it was over but he was no where to be seen back in the dressing rooms.The other members had left to eat at a nearby restaurant.

He was about to give up searching for him when he heard a loud crashing sound, and then another.

Yoongi was destroying the set, pushing bottles and cups and decorations off a table. He was yelling, seemingly having a mental breakdown.

"Hey." Jungkook placed a hand on his shoulder and Yoongi spun around, shoving the hand away.

"GO." Yoongi screamed.

"Calm down." Jungkook hugged him tightly, hoping to prevent him from hurting himself.

Yoongi smirked and shook his head. He couldn't believe the kid was trying to help him.

He shoved him into the wall. Jungkook's back hit the wall with a decent amount of force.

Yoongi stepped back and Jungkook just glared at him.

"Just tell us where she is you selfish bastard!" Jungkook stepped forwards and punched him in the face.

Yoongi fell back in a stumble, lip bleeding and eyes piercing right back at Jungkook. How could he even dare mention you?

Jungkook was pissed but he was worried. He grabbed Yoongi's shirt and pulled him upright. "Just tell me where she is."

Yoongi grabbed his collar, disgusted by Jungkook's concern. "This is your fault." He growled, pushing him into the nearby couch.

Jungkook's ribs hit the edge of the seat. He grimaced and watched as Yoongi picked up a chair. For a moment the thought Yoongi was crazy enough to hit him with it.

Instead he threw it at the mirror and it shattered into a million pieces.

The other staff members finally came running in, and they saw the mirror. Yoongi left but Jungkook stayed right there sitting in front of the couch, feeling only two things.

The first was how much he hated Yoongi. The second was how much he missed you.

When you woke up, the doctors explained what happened. A major concussion and from the looks of it, some memory loss. You couldn't believe that two weeks had passed since the accident. In fact, you couldn't even remember the accident or the day of. The last thing you remembered was prepping for a barbeque party. Everyone was supposed to come.

"The following days will give us some insight as to whether or not your memory will come back. It might come back slowly or it might not come back at all. Nonetheless you'll probably be home by the end of the week."

With that the doctor left you to the nurse who was more than kind.

"You're being moved to a larger suite. Don't worry about the bills or anything work related. Your guardian just found out today about your whereabouts. He's on the way now."

"Aren't visiting hours over? Will he be able to come in?" You asked, checking the time on the clock mounted on the wall.

You didn't have your phone. It was kept as evidence against the driver. He was actually speeding. A dumb move when the fog levels were so thick.

You didn't remember any of it however, it was just what the police had written in their report.

"He can only come after visiting hours, for privacy reasons." The nurse explained with a knowing smile.

"Ahh, right." You forgot that your friends were famous for a second.

You didn't know who was coming. Guardianship was still something new to you.

How crazy it must be if they called Bang PD.

Once you got settled in the new room, Jungkook burst through the door, breathless and just standing there staring.

"Jungkook." You smiled.

He gave you a confused look and took slow steps towards you. "Y/N." He said.

He seemed at a loss for words.

"Come sit." You moved over, patting the small space next to you.

He didn't sit. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"I'm fine. Did I scare you guys? They said you guys had no idea where I was until today."

"They called me. No one else knows right now besides Bang PD. We thought..."

"That I died?" You sighed.

He looked away, holding back tears.

"Come sit." You pleaded.

He shook his head. "I can't."

"Why?" You asked.

"Don't you remember?" He looked into your eyes.

"I can't remember anything. Last thing I do remember is shopping for a trip. Yoongi didn't tell you guys about it but I wanted you to come." You smiled.

He finally sat down and threw his arms around you, resting his head on your shoulder.

"I'm really sorry." He said, getting choked up.

"For what?" You asked, hugging him back despite your confusion. "Kookie, what's wrong?"

Did he feel guilty for something? He wasn't with you the time of the accident. Maybe he was supposed to pick you up...

"I'm fine now." You assured him. "This just happened. No one could've prevented it. Did we fight the day of or something? It doesn't matter now. You know I could never really hate you right?"

He pulled away and looked down. "You're memory is months behind."

"Months?" You exclaimed. "But the album..."

He laughed. "Your memory is months behind but you did work on it. You are credited. You just don't remember."

"Is this amusing to you?" You nudged him. "Do you know how worried I was? I can't imagine what was going through your head these past few weeks."

"No one knew what happened. A part of me thought you left. Not back to the States, but somewhere else. I knew you were capable of doing that. Do you remember what you told me? About why you came here..about him?"

"Mhm." You nodded. "If I really did that, I would at least leave you a note or something. I'm sorry I scared you."

A yawn escaped your lips and he got off the bed. "Are you sleepy? Get some rest."

"No, stay." You held his hand. "I'm just weak. I haven't eaten since I've regained consciousness but they said I could eat. Plus, you have to fill me in on everything that's happened."

"That's a lot to unpack in one night. How about we discuss that stuff tomorrow. I'll get you some food and I'll stay with you tonight. We can play video games if you still remember how to."

"This kid." You shook your head. "Obviously I do and I can still beat you."

"Wow, your memory is really messed up isn't it? You've never beaten me." He said smugly.

You laughed and it hurt the tiniest bit but it was tolerable.

"I'll be back soon okay? Don't forget." He let go of your hand and walked backwards towards the door.

"I won't, but hurry." You pleaded.

He stayed overnight. The nurse came in to check on you only once more. She asked if you guys needed another bed.

"No, it's fine." Jungkook replied quickly.

You nudged him. "You move a lot in the mornings."

"Aren't you cold?" He said and you resigned.

The nurse left.

After a few hours of gaming, you were yawning every minute.

"Are you ready to go to sleep?" Jungkook asked.

"Can you tell me about some of the things I don't remember?"

"Okay." He said lying down and giving you his arm as your headrest. "Like what?"

You hugged him and he fixed the lone blanket you had to share. "Did we go on the trip? All of us?"

"Yeah." He answered.

"What else happened that day? Anything funny?"

"Very funny."

"Tell me, why aren't you saying more."

"Because I don't know how you'll react."

"Just tell me, please. It doesn't feel good losing your memory."

"A really funny thing happened actually." He teased.

"Fine, don't tell me." You sighed. "Good night."

"You became my girlfriend." He stated.

_____

Part 6

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