ibyte13

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God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

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the archivists aren’t loving that I’ve been quietly ranking every piece of pottery on a scale of how satisfying I think it’d be to give it a good chuck

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one of my formative experiences with sex ed was having sexual desire explained to my class by a catholic nun who was very clearly working on a purely theoretical model. she explained with like increasing mania that women and men are very different because men are "like microwaves" and women "are like crock pots" and the more confused the class (age 13) became the more frantic sister patrick stephen became until she was accidentally making the point that men and women are too much like different appliances to have sex with each other at all. we all felt quite guilty as this was the year twilight came out so we'd all just gotten horny for the first time. so we felt bad for her if anything

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when she’s cumming so hard she’s grabbing at you for any sort of stability >>>>

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i dont WANT pride months to be over,

on the other hand...

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Not to reinvent the wheel over here but humanity is sooo right about tea. It really is the perfect finnicky little thing to do. You can use it as an excuse to get up and transition to the next thing for yourself or with others; you can use tea as the centerpiece for socializing; you can use it as a meditative device or a comfort ritual or as medicine or to soothe pain or to set intentions or go to bed or to wake up. And most tea is pretty inexpensive, healthy and sometimes you can just harvest the ingredients yourself. And there's a set amount of time it takes to heat up the water and prepare your cup and let it steep, which is all part of a ritual that makes it fast but not instantaneous which is. Good.

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“I’ll never talk” ok that’s cool. didn’t really expect you to. I’m not gonna torture you for information—I have an elaborate espionage network for that. everyone knows torture is an unreliable means of extracting information and anything obtained from it is not to be trusted. I’m not an idiot. I’ve read all the torture science. if there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s the foolish notion that torture serves a practical purpose. no, my torture dungeon exists for good, clean fun. it’s all about the love of the game. strap ’em to the rack, boys!

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Hooked up with a British guy once and he said "awh that's propah" while I ate his ass

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Embrace your divine feminine energy by taking part in traditional women's hobbies & interests like experimenting with radioactive materials, developing mathematics, programming computers, piloting aircraft and practicing marksmanship.

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Welp.

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Video games are great, they let you try your craziest fantasies. For example, on the sims, you can have a job and a house

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see this is what ai shouldve been doing from the start

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In The Lizard Whisperer, Jeremy is packing up his guitar to give lessons.

Let's zoom in on that guitar case.

I think I've seen that picture before...

... after Candace got trapped in Phineas and Ferb's invention in The Bully Code.

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these guys haven't seen goncharov

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i love things that come in glass jars because once its over the glass jar is mine