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Anyone else set a date as a goal for survival? Like, rn, mines April first cause majority of my peoples birthdays are in March, and I just wanna make it through that. Once I hit April first, I would reach that goal.

This could be for multiple of reason: possible nuclear war, su*cide, climate war as I like to call it, or health reason(all of them rn for me). I just make these dates in my head to force myself to move on day by day. It's not healthy by any means, but I feel much better when I make these dates. More secure in my standing. I've been doing this since 2020 unconsciously. It first started out like "if I wake up tomorrow I'm ok... " then it just got longer and longer. I've got bad anxiety, if you can't tell. Slowly I realized what I was doing.

I'll think about it every few days when dread fills me. It makes some of the dread go away. Helps me ground myself. Once I hit the end of the year I'm filled with immense dread and relief. Immense dread cause another year close to impending doom, immense relief cause it's another year of survival

Anyone else?