ideasatemynights - Tumblr blog

[ideasatemynights]

omg i told a million times just bc the amulet glows a bright pulsating red every time i'm about to commit acts of great evil doesn't mean the amulet is *driving* me to evil. it just gets excited is all

[ideasatemynights]

every time my bf says “for the time being” i respond with “for the time bean” and then we say “all hail the time bean” and carry on the conversation like nothing happened

[ideasatemynights]

There’s a serial killer in your town. Unfortunately for them you are a necromancer and you have fun driving that maniac insane.

[ideasatemynights]

Not to be a Boomer but your social media should be your own space, not something employers are allowed to look at to judge you beyond the qualifications stated in your resume and cover letter

[ideasatemynights]

Public speaking is actually really easy if you don't respect a single soul in that room. I've had an incredibly easy time delivering speeches when I hated everybody I saw and they all thought I did amazing because my disdain was read as confidence. I don't have any tips for you I'm just telling you a fact

[ideasatemynights]

[ideasatemynights]

[ideasatemynights]

[ideasatemynights]

More stories from hell (retail) today I was ringing up this lady and she goes oh I want to do part of this on a gift card and the rest on normal card and I go ok and then she hands me a folded piece of paper. I think oh OK it must be folded around the gift card, right? Wrong. It is a folded sheet of 8×11 printer paper with "$40" written on the inside in ballpoint pen. I go what is this. She says a gift card. I say this is not a gift card. She says yes it is. I say this is a piece of paper with "$40" written on it. She says "well it's a gift card." I say it absolutely is not. I am grinding my teeth. She says well I want to use it. I say you physically cannot do that bc it is a piece of paper. I cannot scan or swipe it. I apologize, as if this is my fault, and not because she is completely insane. I hate it here

[ideasatemynights]

this too shall pass

[ideasatemynights]

just got called out of work and I got so excited I put clothes on my dog

[ideasatemynights]

can you get that weird guy out of here please. I’m starting to feel a little bit flustered and i don’t want to confront & come to terms with that right now

[ideasatemynights]

maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock

[ideasatemynights]

the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

[ideasatemynights]

you have to stop biting the hand that feeds you. go for the neck

[ideasatemynights]

everyone always sayin to me "not to be weird" you have to be weird. you have to be weird for your health

[ideasatemynights]

With the hbomberguy plagiarism video on fire right now I want to share my favorite example of egregious plagiarism.

I’m a marine biologist. Currently getting my PhD. I’ve done a lot of scholarly writing. Many classes I took as an undergraduate had big writing components. I took limnology at one point as an elective. This course had one such big writing assignment.

The professor told us a story. He said he once got a student paper that absolutely blew him away. It was way beyond what he’d expected from the class. This was before we had online tools to check for plagiarism. The paper impressed him so much that he brought it home to show it to his wife. She began reading it and then set it down, looked at him, and said, “Dan, you wrote this.”

This student was dumb enough to not only copy a published paper verbatim, but to copy a paper published by the professor of the class.

AND HE NEARLY GOT AWAY WITH IT.