iextraterrestrialflower
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What is this I’m feeling? I think I love you in a romantic way and I’ve finally come to a realization that I’m with the wrong person. I know you see right through me, you know I look at you way more differently than I look at anybody else and that day that we went to the gym you noticed it. We were in the car you noticed it and I freaked out. I see the relationship I am in and every time I talk about what kind of person I want to be with I’m subtly talking about you. This is wrong though, I’m with someone and I’m thinking about being with you. Does that make me a bad person? I’m with a person that hurts me and does not make me happy when I have you right in front of me. You barely knew me when I cried my eyes out to you because I was cheated on and you told me what I deserved. You're such a great person and you've made me stronger whether you realize it or don't and I want you but I am so afraid to lose our friendship if we don't work out. Because I love you and I don't want to lose you. Period.
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I am falling for you. I have been, I don't remember the exact moment when I realized that the feelings I had for you were more than just friendly, but they were there. I loved you and I love you. I guess my I love you’s progressed. This is how it started:
1. I loved the way you were, even though you thought I didn't like you at first. You seemed funny, but also conflicted, and I wanted to know your conflict. You can say I was intrigued.
2. I loved the way you were easy going and liked to have fun and you didn't care to make a fool out of yourself.
3. I loved how you listened and only listened, but mostly how you made me feel heard. You wouldn't just nod to just nod, you'd actually listen to me.
4. I loved how to opened up to me about yourself. Your struggles and your funny stories as well. The good and the bad.
5. I loved the friendship we had, you became so important to me in a matter of seconds. I’d give anything for you, including my life.
6. I loved how I started falling for you.
7. I loved how you started falling for me.
8. I loved that I loved you.
9. Everything that I said I loved i still do and will continue to.
10. There's no other way of saying this, I love you. I am in love with you.
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Selfish feeling
Every time I think of you I think of how I gave you so much hope. False hope, I guess you can say. I know I told you exactly how I felt and I could never lie to you about my feelings towards you. I still feel that way. In all reality it’s selfish— the way I feel for you. The way you make me smile. The way you make me sad. The way you make me important in your life. The way you keep me safe. THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL. And I would say I love you, which I do, but I know you would take those words and run with them. I love you, but I’m not ready. Or I’m just afraid to hurt you. Because I will. I’d rather keep hurting myself with the guy that messed me up in the first place. Because I know what that’s like, how that feels, how to deal with it. And I with you I have no clue.
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I can't say I'm happy that this happened, because I’m not. Sure he was toxic, like one of those drugs that you know is bad for you but you keep taking because it makes you feel good once in a while, but he was also amazing. I knew he tried, and I loved when he did because it gave me the biggest smile that you couldn't even compare it to the smile ecstasy gives you. On the days he didn’t try or didn't want to talk to me he broke me even more than I already was because it was always my fault, or at least I thought it was because that is how it usually went down with me. I loved him and I knew I did, but then he left and treated me differently. Now I was just a good time. That’s when I realized I didn't love him anymore because it was so easy to cut the cord then and there. I was just so used to him being there, being around and letting him treat me the way he did. Now I have someone who makes me very happy and brings me smiles every time I see him or talk to him or think of him. He doesn't know this though, hopefully soon enough he will. He will know how truly happy he makes me. What I’m trying to say is the one I thought was my one isn't but maybe this one is and I’m going to try and find out. I deserve that. For this I am happy.
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I sometimes wonder if it was just all a dream because it was everything I wanted and then it goes all away. If it is a dream, I want to dream forever
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Produced by LEMAT WORKS
🌟Stars Gold1 / Blue1 / 2 / Purple / Red / Dot planet Blue / instagram 🌟
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I can’t focus on my reading.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to distract.”
No, it’s not you.. well partly, but the story I’m reading is a bit boring.
“Read me instead. Except I’m braille so you have to use your hands.”
Where do I start?
“That’s up to you.”
But wouldn't that change the story line? The ending might be different.
“Ending’s always the same. Ends up with you and me no matter what way you read it.”
Different story every time with the same ending it might be a book I fall in love with.
“It’s an underrated book. You’d think more people would fall in love with it, but it just needs the right person to read it.”
But those are the best ones. The ones that seem unimportant at a glance but become the world to you.
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waiting for June
An Electric Sky! 🎉 ✨ 🙌
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You touched my body, every inch of it. You loved it, even all the little imperfections. There was not a centimeter you did not adore. But that was it you loved it, you adore it, you cared for every inch of this body. You didn't adore, you didn't love, you didn't care for ME, but for MY body. And I realized too late that you weren't in love with my soul, but with my physical self.
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And I saw a car coming so I ran that red light. I was so sure I would get hit, but I didn't. The only thing it made me realize was that you made me unhappy and you were the one thing that made me want to run that red light and hopefully break completely. I blame you for breaking me too many times, to the point I can't be put back together. You were the one that made me this weak.
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