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imo pressuring your kids into excellence, especially in academia is just the stupidest parenting decision anyone can possibly make- like it basically means they'll associate that subject with negativity + pressure/being forced and they'll learn to hate it. like as much as i would like to see more ppl interested, let your kids choose their own path, because they will and you will be amazed what they can do.

honestly i just wish you could find more ppl that actually care about math especially- like a lot of ppl treat it like it's an obligation.

ok i'm about to go on a tangent

This is also why I dislike applied math. Actually, scratch that. I love applied math. I love doing it, I love the feeling of it coming together and describing the world. Pure math is my favorite, of course, so I enjoy it too, and in fact more than applied, usually (especially logic and number theory). But what I dislike is when people get the two mixed up.

Like, a lot of people think that logic is just CS and number theory is just cryptography. I haven't taken either so I might not know what I'm talking about, but I think I know enough to say this: No, those are their applications. Those are just ways of making them work for you. As cool as that is, I like the math for its own sake, and I don't like how people act like it has to have some justification for existing. There's something so dismissive about "yeah but what's it for?" it's beautiful on its own it doesn't need to have a reason

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The other day I just belted out in public Linkin Park's "The Emptiness Machine". I'm having secondhand embarrassment for my own past self. Look, it hits me, ok?

I listen to that song and then I can just go back to not having feelings again- that's all the emotion I need for the week~

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Update: I'm trying to people, but I still don't think I'm very good at it.

Like istg I'm out here treating friendships like international diplomacy one second, goofing off the next, and avoiding everyone the next. I can't decide how I want to interact with people. I mean, I want to interact with people, but to what extent? Am I allowed to be as erratic as I am in interaction? Some days I'm a social butterfly, but other days when people approach me, expecting me to be the same, I just tell then to go away. They assume I'm suffering or something's wrong, so they keep bothering me.

When will people realize that sometimes, the person who wants to be alone doesn't want to be alone because they're sad? Maybe they're having a great day in their own little world and don't want anything to do with you.

I may be kind of emo, but there's one thing I don't do, and that's hide how I feel. If I feel a certain way, I'll tell you upfront. I'm not going to be all "I'm fine" or "it's nothing". And if I do lie about my feelings, the only reason I'm doing it is because explaining would be a hassle.

Not everything has a deeper meaning.

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anything.

they told me to put anything.

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I don’t. I just barge in, or decide it doesn’t matter. This is why it’s best to be an a-hole and not care about people as much as possible.

Dormant conversations with friends scare me. A lot.

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Do you want to build a pentagonal dodecahedron?

It doesn’t have to be a pentagonal dodecahedron.

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it’s been years

I changed my username, my blog name, and all that but I can’t figure out how to edit my posts! Or delete them! I’m not in the Undertale fandom anymore, you’ll slowly find out what fandoms I’m in at the moment, I’m also kind of a math tryhard but I don’t have the executive function to get that far ahead no matter how much I want to PROOFS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL I CAN’T-

so I might post, but ignore my first two posts.

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Hello. This is a weird place where I never really post anything, I'm mostly just spectating. I occasionally ramble about Undertale or link to my YouTube channel. The video below has a part two which you'll find in my channel along with some old sheet posts. That's about it.