if-i-eated-soaps - Tumblr blog

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you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

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Also on topic of Consent: whenever somebody says "Kids should have bodily autonomy!" some guy always is like "You are too unrealistic. What will you do when a kid is seeing the doctor and doesn't want to get a shot? Would you just let them refuse the shot?"

Yeah I probably would. You're straight up asking the wrong person if you want the nice normal answer here. Doctors and nurses forcibly doing (relatively routine) things to my body against my protests when I was a small kid fucked me up so bad that as an adult anything medical related is a huge trigger for me, I've had persistent intrusive thoughts and recurring nightmares about medical procedures, and I can't have even the most basic tests and health checks done on top of it.

I hate talking about it because I can't get comfortable calling it "trauma" and I don't have any other words that are useful, but it's made my life so much harder and really scary since if I start having a weird symptom, there's nothing I can move myself to do about it.

I figured out a loophole where going to a pharmacy instead of a doctor's office for vaccines reduces some of the stress, but I was still in stress and misery for days before I went to get my tetanus shot. The repulsion is so intense it feels like I literally don't have control over myself, it feels like I can't make appointments or plans about such things out of my own free will, and so every year I have guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt about how I should get the flu shot, and it does nothing but ineffectually hurt me.

Vaccines save lives and all that, but when it comes right down to it, I don't think it's actually a net benefit to public health to give any percentage of kids lifelong psychological scars so deep and painful they're almost completely barred from accessing health care as adults.

I know I'm not the only one, far from it.

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Next up: the heron! Another from this series.

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i still haven’t recovered from the time in high school where i was casted as karen in spongebob the musical, and i convinced myself to be so enamored with the character of plankton to make sure me and my plankton’s chemistry was legit. like i watched so much spongebob for two months, and i guess it did work cause so many people thought we were dating in real life (which we eventually did) (for a hot second) (that’s another story), but the damage was apparently irreparable, because every time i see a clip of him, —or god forbid— hear one of those plankton AI covers, his voice legit does something very bad to me. this is so humiliating. i can’t even pinpoint what kind of attraction this is but i cannot escape it. i need to be fucking euthanized or something. christ.

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Day 27: Off-duty

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what the fuck is he even talking about

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dgs button designs,,,, will have these up Soon

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My friend just made me feel weird for asking so now i gotta know.

If you do have a favorite bird please please tell me in the tags, i want to see some Birds!!

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taylor swift is neither tortured nor is she any kind of poet lol

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I got a mental health wellness app and decided my first entry was going to be about a videogame I played that day

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Life in an Autism World

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I return from my long slumber with an offering of birds

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and now stuff from today. mostly ace attorney (theres one sam and max one but im postin separately). ignore my horrid notes i like writing down everything when playing detective games

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real thing in my closet i spent money on (my mom was pissed)