ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[bites the inside of her cheek, eyes narrowed slightly. She takes a quick intake of breath as if she was going to say something, but stops herself] Sooner, rather than later, sir. And it does not go unappreciated.

[She puts her tricorder back over her shoulder and adjusts her uniform] I suppose we should be heading back to the bridge now. Aren't you still on duty?

And anyone that dares attempt to poison me is asking for even greater trouble. I am doing them a service, really, by not reacting with the vengeance of which I have seen others do. You, surely, can relate to this.

[sighs and pours out drink] It is no matter. I’ll fix it later. Mister Chekov, have you for me a list of the recently locked target planets in our next system? I’ve yet to receive the information on my PADD, yet I requested you send it to me less than 2 hours ago.

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

And anyone that dares attempt to poison me is asking for even greater trouble. I am doing them a service, really, by not reacting with the vengeance of which I have seen others do. You, surely, can relate to this.

[sighs and pours out drink] It is no matter. I'll fix it later. Mister Chekov, have you for me a list of the recently locked target planets in our next system? I've yet to receive the information on my PADD, yet I requested you send it to me less than 2 hours ago.

Poison a Vulcan? Seems so futile a task, T’Androma.

Of course, having your own special replicator is just asking for trouble.

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

Vulnerable

Information is power. Why would I— I…? Oh… Excuse me.

(now who wants to volunteer for a potentially heartbreaking thread)

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

MirrorVerse M!A's

Remorse: My character is deeply indebted to a character they have wronged/hates/otherwise dislikes. The only way out of it is by doing a genuine good deed for them.

Sympathy: For at least two days, my character cannot refrain from showing their sincere feelings, whether that be good or bad.

Mercy: My character will be forced to forgive something your character has done to them. (If this is sent by anon, it's recipient's choice.)

Proximity: My character needs the companionship of those around them. For one day, they need to constantly be surrounded by someone.

Vulnerable: My character is forced to tell someone something that puts them at risk. (A secret, a desire, a conquest, etc.)

Emotional: My character is plunged into despair for one day. The only quick cure is a comforting other.

Grief: My character has (or believed to have) lost something that they hold dearest. They are unable to function normally until someone manages to convince them it isn't lost.

Sacrifice: My character believes the only way they can preserve whatever is most precious to them is by performing some self sacrificial act.

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[stifled, annoyed sigh]

Who put poison in the Vulcan tea replication again?

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

ooc: an explanation????

okay well school’s been really high intensity lately so i kinda left for a little bit and i was gonna come back last week but then i broke my wrist last monday so it’s been really hard to type because i was in this really obnoxiously inhibiting splint, but now i have the cast and it’s a little easier to type now.

anyway i don’t think i’m really coming off hiatus but i just thought i’d let you guys know c:

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

spiritualized - ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[The song finished, an old Terran song she had heard on the colony when she was younger, and had held onto in a desperate attempt to maintain that same innocent ignorance.

Timidly, tenderly, T'Androma placed a sweet kiss under his jaw and buried her smaller body into his, her hand once again taking fist fulls of his uniform to hold onto, as the other stroked patterns on his palm which she held between them.]

спать, моя любимая одна. Я буду здесь, когда вы просыпаетесь.

[Her eyes were not fully closed, but on their way, her breathing even and slow. T'Androma transferred calming thoughts of rest and comfort to him.]

They Made Me Feel; I'm Falling Down

[Pavel covered up his flinch by staring impassively at the door. Touch telepath. She was a touch telepath. And he touched her. His brow furrowed, missing the contact they had shared despite themselves. Despite their customs—her Vulcan nature, his Russian stoicism that crumbled so spectacularly under the weight of his fear and other unwanted emotions—they were kindred. Or as close to kindred as they could be under Empire servitude. Allies, they were allies.

He looked up at T’Androma, at the anguish distorting her normally placid face and hiding in the lines of her mouth, and a heavy dread sunk in his stomach. He did this. He inflicted her with his pain. For one so preoccupied with pain and pleasure, Pavel didn’t delight in it. Not now. Not with her. He wanted to reestablish contact but shied away. His emotions were too out of control, and he could not get them back into control no matter how much he tried.

Twice removed from his body and its reactions, Pavel struggled to comprehend.]

Pawn to…Pawn to…Pawn to… [He repeated until T’Androma placed her hands on his face, wide-set eyes earnest. He tried to shake her off—the last thing he wanted to do was infect her with more of his haphazard emotions—but he couldn’t control himself. She moved away, and in his weakness, a small noise left him, stuck in the back of his throat. She shushed him, wrapping her lithe body around his own, taking back his hands.

Gratefulness shot through Pavel, and he hoped T’Androma could feel that. Could feel what he could not say out loud. T’Androma began to sing, her small, hesitant voice washing over him. His eyes slid partway closed as he latched onto her hands like a lifeline.]

благодарю. Благодарю вас так много.

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[She felt it. All of it. Right down to the copper taste on her tongue, and it was so vivid and so frightening that T'Androma initially jerked her hand away from his face, curling her fingers into a fist so tight that her palms would've been cut open by her finger nails if she didn't keep them so short.

It wasn't right; feeling these things, these memories, these emotions that Pavel had locked away for a reason: so that no one would know. And now she wasn't just allowed a window to these thoughts, but a whole door, and was shoved through it, pulled in by an ugly, familiar feeling of guilt that flooded through her and left a dull pain radiating through her temples.

But T'Androma's eyes returned to his face, contorted with the anguish of guilt and loss, and she realized then that she could've leave him. Not now, not yet, not ever. So she stopped him before she could try to complete his sentence any more.]

Pash...Pavel, Shhh... [She placed both hands on either side of his face.] Don't... Don't think about chess right now. Don't think about... [No, she couldn't say that. Asking someone to forget about the death of a loved one was an exercise in futility.

There were no amount of words or gestures that could make Pavel feel any less hurt than he was, so T'Androma was at a loss for what to do. Which is why what she did next was hardly even considered.

She removed her legs from under his head and layed next to him, taking his hands and kissing his knuckles.] Let's just go to sleep, okay? [T'Androma stayed close to him, one arm hugged tight around his waist, her forehead just centimetres away from touching his own.

She was, by no means, a singer. Her voice was small and delicate and hardly worth listening to. But at the moment, T'Androma could think of nothing else to do.]

Moon river wider than a mile  I'm crossing you in style someday  You dream maker, you heartbreaker  Wherever you're going I'm going your way  Two drifters off to see the world  There's such a lot of world to see  We're after the same rainbow's end  Waiting 'round the bend  My huckleberry friend, moon river and me 

They Made Me Feel; I'm Falling Down

[He soaks up her touches, tired, penny-heavy eyes sliding closed for a second too long. He trusts her, however; in a way that he doesn’t trust most people. It’s a frightening, frustrating prospect. Pavel isn’t sure what to think. For as much as he could scheme and manipulate emotions, his mind is not equipped to handle the full brunt of his own emotions. His methods of repression and compartmentalization are not working for whatever reason, and it hurts more than he thought it would.

Blood.

On his hands. His face. In his hair. He can still feel the warmth splashed across his cheeks. Can still taste the copper invading his mouth. He swallows to control his gag reflex, mouth watering with the effort not to throw up.

Pavel shakes in memory, face pinched and eyes clenched shut.]

P-Pawn to…to…

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[She watched their hands with slightly dilated pupils. Normally, T'Androma cherished when he did this. Sometimes the moment was even right enough for her to convince herself for a split second that he was hers and she was his, and that Pavel knew what he was doing when he took her hand like that.

But not this time. Each brush of his fingers against hers did not provoke those same feelings of warmth and safety as they had earlier, before all this. Now they still left the lingering thoughts from just a few seconds ago, and it made her shiver.

But despite this, T'Androma kept their hands together as if is were a drug. Painful, and horrible for her, but it remained the only knowledge of comfort she had ever experienced. Her other hand dropped from her right temple and began tracing patterns on his torso, slowly stretching up and down his uniform, wandering up to the side of his face, brushing her thumb along his cheek bone, sweeping wisps of curls from his forehead.]

Knight to C5

They Made Me Feel; I'm Falling Down

I don’t deserve you.

I don’t.

[He begins, voice husky with clogged emotion. He doesn’t know how to stop it or stop anything. The helplessness is killing him. Will kill him, if he lets himself dwell and linger. He was already bleeding in a tankful of sharks from the aftereffects of Scotty’s attack and now this? He will be lucky to survive the week, especially with his knight gone.

Pavel gently removes her hands from his uniform, kisses her knuckles, and makes himself comfortable on her lap, still holding her hands. Still maintaining that contact. He knows it’s intimate, perhaps too intimate given their species’s differences and the emotional turmoil still roiling under the surface, but he is decidedly selfish.

His mind retreats into chess metaphors for both their sakes. He doesn’t want to burden T’Androma with more emotion than the both of them are used to. Shakily inhaling, it takes him while to remember their last game, still unfinished in the rec room.]

Rook to B6.

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

[ifonlytonight-wecouldsleep-blog]

ensignjailbait:   [Pavel closes his weary eyes, all these emotions dizzying and surging and battering against his well-placed defenses. No wonder he kept everything under lock and key if this was the result. He fears for T’Androma’s safety—surely, getting so close to him now could play havoc on a touch telepath. Instead of delighting in having the upper hand, his stomach twists, and he almost breaks out of her hold, skin crawling. He doesn’t know what to do. He curls his still-warm fingers into a loose fist, mute as she led them down a corridor. He stares ahead resolutely. He can already hear the whispers and rumors, and he’s so sick of it. So sick of trying to prove himself to the crew. His damn pride led him here; all for naught—it was all for naught. White noise buzzes in his skull as he was pushed, prodded, and pulled into place, and he takes a while to realize his surroundings. T’Androma’s room.] I…Tammy…I— [He throws his arms around her, squeezing and begging for reassurance, even though he knew he didn’t deserve it.] What have I done?  [She couldn’t stand it; such a strong, brave person crumbling in her arms, right before her eyes. Pavel, her best friend, the only thing she had faith in, the only person she trusted, her little slice of bitter comfort. Now all these unwanted emotions washed over her wherever their skin met, and she felt these flashes of self-loathing as vividly as he did. But despite how easy it would be to comfort him with false assurances that the love of his life was still alive, T’Andoma knew just as well as any human that empty promises did nothing but induce more pain. But what else could she do? Out of anyone, she was possibly the least capable of dealing with things like this. Her species had it’s own tactic: they eradicated emotions entirely.  Her arms remained tightly wrapped around his thin waist, her face buried in the hollow of his chest, and her shoulder muscles tensed almost uncomfortably in response to this recent onslaught of memories and visions she never wanted.] Stay here as long as you need, Pash. I’ll be here, okay? I’ll be here. [As if to accentuate her point, T’Androma took fistfuls of his uniform in her hand.]