igeekoutalot

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30 weeks 1 day

We have been in the hospital for a week now due to PPROM at 29 weeks. It was touch and go for a while but as long as we remain stable then we will be here for 4 more weeks where we will then deliver at 34 weeks. I have good days and bad days. I’ve mostly come to terms with everything for now but I know that when the time comes to deliver and our NICU journey begins I will have to go through all of the emotions again. Right now I feel guilty that she’ll be a premie and will have to spend time in NICU and I also feel guilty for Aubrey and Hazel because it is summer time and I’m stuck in the hospital and they miss and need me. I also feel sorry for Alex, this is his first baby and I am so sad for the moments that we will miss out on. One thing that I haven’t admitted out loud is how angry (jealous) of others around me who are carrying to full term, delivering their babies and getting to hold them, getting those sweet, quiet first few hours, getting to take them home with them and I won’t have any of that. It’s just hard right now but I am thankful for my support system and that this didn’t happen earlier

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13 weeks 4 days❤️

At around 6 and a half weeks one of my coworkers convinced me mid-shift to run to Walgreens and get a Sneak Peak test where we then preformed the blood test (and one of my patients walked out to the nurses station to find me in the middle of the blood draw) and we waited a week or so to find out the results said boy! We’ve been thinking this baby is a boy for at least 6 weeks. But the ultrasound today showed that all things are pointing to this baby being a girl. Due to the cord in the way and the baby not wanting to uncross its legs, we couldn’t get a good look, but honestly it’s really looking to be a girl. So, I guess we shall wait and see what the next ultrasound shows and definitively what the genetics labs reveal. We’re excited and happy either way to be adding this sweet little one into our lives

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A Life Update Dump:

I met the most wonderful man nearly three years ago and in April of this year we got married. He is the love of my life and I couldn’t be happier with him.

In May, I finally graduated nursing school and passed the NCLEX and then started working as a postpartum nurse in June. My job brings me so much fulfillment and purpose, every hardship I faced during nursing school was so worth it.

This morning after getting off work and in between getting the girls ready for school I found out that I am pregnant! Judging by my LMP I am 3w6d. My husband and I are so excited (although a little fear does hit me periodically as I feel like I’m completely starting over because the girls are now 10 and 7 years old.)

So much happiness, I sit back occasionally and can’t believe any of this is real

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Why would you do this to me😂

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I start my labor and delivery externship tomorrow and I literally feel like I’m in a dream. I can’t believe I’m doing it🥹

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The end of my first semester of nursing school is here! And the first thing I did after my final was get brunch-drunk with my friends and then went home and picked up my first physical book to read that does not involve medications or adult health since January. It’s a good day😌

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I think I need to be put on anxiety medication. I’ve tried ignoring it for years and just tough it out but going through nursing school with two kids is literally the hardest, most stressful and at times miserable thing that I have ever done. If I’m not stressing about assignments, clinical, lecture and labs, then I’m feeling the soul crushing guilt that I’m barely aware of what my children are doing even when they are right in front of me. I’m being torn far too thin and it is drastically effecting my mental health

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At this point I feel like I’m not productively studying if I’m not shoving cookies, brownies, etc. into my mouth. Why must sweets taste so much better when cramming for an exam??

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every time staff tries to make this website more hostile to posting the posts get better

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This year I splurged a little extra on myself and got a mini tree specifically for my Star Wars ornaments and I couldn’t be happier about it

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more parents need to understand that teaching children to ask why rules exist is positive and valuable. teaching kids about authority–and that authority is not always right, and when and how to question it–is a fundamental step to preparing them for adult life. 

do it right and you won’t get disobedient kids, you’ll get kids who think critically 

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Hazel’s monster people make my philosophy notes 1000x better

*disregard my childlike handwriting… it’s apparently never going to get better*

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My health anxiety is ✨flourishing✨ under these covid conditions... Mix in a little brain fog, body fatigue and slight chest pain and I’ve had to talk myself out of 2 panic attacks just today😞

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