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la valse de sydney [read it on the ao3] sydney adamu x carmen berzatto romance, character study, amélie homage "Best meal you ever had." "Yeah, it was-it was Carmy's." One person can change your life forever / Before you came into my life I missed you so bad

"Still at five-ten and fifteen seconds, the headlights of an Eighth Avenue-bound L train make their first appearance at the Myrtle-Wyckoff Avenue stop in Bushwick, Brooklyn. Sydney Adamu, twenty-one years old, currently a student in her final year at the Culinary Institute of America, watches as the train approaches, stands aside for the passengers getting off, then steps in and settles in a seat."

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A Burst of Light, Audre Lorde

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SHUNGA collection by Lucy Liu

Liu’s figurative paintings — inspired by shunga, Japanese erotic art popularized in the 17th century — are ruminations on her upbringing in a family where sex and nudity were taboo. When she first began to show these works, a dealer suggested she recut the canvases to eliminate the exaggerated genitals (the work in this article is a relatively tame example). “I can’t do that,” she said. “They were like, ‘Well, do you want to sell? Do you want to create this career?’ I found that so outrageous. [I was] being censored once again. As a child I was not allowed to ask questions but now I can’t even show …” she trails off. “I know it’s aggressive, maybe it’s not your taste, but that’s not the point of the piece.” 

“Hanging on the wall of Liu’s studio are three large paintings of nudes. In one, two females crouch head-to-head as if sharing a kiss — or a secret. Get close enough to the canvas and you can see a window ornamented with a flower box; you realize that there is another painting underneath: The original works are paintings of old family photographs.”

src: 1 / 2 / 3

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at least there are pansies and fairies and faggots and dykes and transsexuals on this earth. thank god.

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how very brave of me. to have a body

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020 - Sam Stoich

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MARIE MOREAU & JORDAN LI GEN V | S01E05, Welcome to the Monster Club

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at that stage where every other song could be for them /// song: my favorite faded fantasy - damien rice

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Relationships: Sydney Adamu/Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto Rating: General Audiences Additional Tags: Romance, Character Study, Pining Note: Canon-typical mentions and depictions of food and meat, grief, anxiety, verbal abuse, self harm, disordered eating, and depression; depiction of ableism with use of an ableist pejorative. Words: 5,906 Completed

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it still comes as a surprise that closeness cannot be achieved from a safe distance

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carmen suggesting the palate cleanse to sydney in the bear, s02e03 "sundae" for @yannaryartside ↪ "It's gonna take me about an hour to clean this up, and then I'll, uh, meet you at Kasama."

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I love the "came back wrong" trope but from the opposite side.

Imagine you are dead. And then you are RIPPED from the embrace of decay into the world of the living again. Your memories are hazy and you don't recognize any of these people, but they act like they're close to you? Like they love you? So you try to get your memories back, to act like you belong here, but everybody tries to forget you died. And you can't. It is omnipresent. And just trying to grapple with that fact pushes the people who "love" you away, and they're incapable of understanding, and they're so confused, what's wrong N̶̄̀O̶͛͗T̷̉́ ̷͋͝Y̴̎̌Ȍ̴̈U̸̓R NÄM̴̃͑E̵̾̇? And you just need them to understand, you aren't that person! You aren't! You don't know who that person is! You don't know why any of this is happening, but they're unwilling to bend, they keep insisting you are that person, your memories will come back, everything will be normal again, and you want to scream and cry and claw yourself open to show them you're different. Your existence as a being wholly separate from whoever you "used to be" is a sin unto itself. All you can do is scrabble for life and to them, you're killing whoever they loved to do it.

just. lots of fun in that concept, you know?

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What if you loved me so much it literally undoomed me haha jk unless

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BOTTOMS 2023, dir. Emma Seligman