igniida

[igniida]

Idia stares silently for a long minute before grabbing a marker from next to his desk and marking something off on the card.

"I don't know who you're trying to fool by saying you're not geeky. Have you seen yourself when you get invested in your fashion, potions and plants? Nerd. And not strong? You're one of the strongest people I know. You always have been, constantly moving forward with hope for the future despite what faces you. That's... That's really strong. Same with cool and knightly! Don't you remember when you broke into the cafeteria with that ring and you were dressed like a damn prince and I could have-" Aw now his face and hair are all pink. He tries to hide it by burying his face in his arms on the desk as he hands the bingo card back.

"I fixed a couple of things." He says voice muffled.

"... BUT WAIT, STARSHINE YOU JUDGE ME???" His head snaps up face and hair still bright pink.

[igniida]

I filled this out the other day for Idia and honestly I could go into a thesis paper length report about each of these for Idia. But for now I simply leave you with this.

[igniida]

Who's That Miku???

Ghost Type Miku

You got ghost Miku! You tend to keep to yourself and enjoy having time to read, catch up on shows, whatever it may be. You have a quiet demeanor, giving you a haunting sort of mystique. Once someone gets to know you, they discover that you're very(?) caring! You don't really like confrontation and you're also a little edgy but that's okay.

Tagged by: Stolen From: @utsubotm Tagging: I've been up over 24 hours now and don't feel like tagging people. Be gay do crimes.

[igniida]

@daisyscape / Titus reassured: “Don’t you see, it’s different with me?” Hadestown RP Starters // Accepting

Idia wants to believe that, perhaps a part of Idia even DOES believe that. Things feel different when Idia is with Titus. The world is less cold, less dark, less suffocating. Being with Titus always brings him back to the summers they spent as children together. Where rays of sunshine would keep them warm and light their way on their adventures. Idia hadn't felt like that in such a long time he could barely remembered what it felt like now. The only thing he had to compare it to now was Titus himself.

Perhaps that's why it frightened him so. Being reminded what life felt like beyond the cold and dreary was heartbreaking. It was as though life itself was telling him 'Look what you missed! Look at what can be taken from you again!' Life without sunshine meant no fear of losing that light when it came back. Yet to live with that joy only meant greater despair down the line.

Titus was different so incredibly different. But fate did not change. It was Idia's fate to live in solitude to go without peace so the rest of the world could go with. Titus was stronger the strongest person Idia had ever known. Yet Idia did not believe he was strong enough to defy fate. There was no power in this world strong enough to do so. Not will power, not hubris, not love.

Idia steps back from Titus' outstretched hand. Pulling his arms closer to himself and body further from his friend. "How can you be so sure? We already abandoned one another once before. It's just gonna happen again when school is over. Let's just go our separate ways already. Before someone gets hurt."

[igniida]

@igniida : "My sunflower. Being with you is just like pulling two SSR's in one day." Idia attempting to be romantic with Salem

“ ... ” At first it looks like the flirtation doesn't register with Salem, the redhead merely slow blinking in response. Despite being in proximity with Idia for so long, it can sometimes be difficult to remember what all his lingo means. In fact, in recent months they've started using a separate notebook full of definitions and descriptions of the things Idia says. Hopefully with that, they'll be able to keep up with him in due time.

Instead of saying anything in response, Salem wordlessly steps out of the room, briefly leaving Idia in perplexed panic. When they return, they have their Idia lexicon in hand. They open the page on gacha terms and skim the contents before promptly closing it again. When Salem's eyes meet Idia's again, their lips have curved upward in a minute smile. Without a word they lean forward to press a soft kiss to their boyfriend's flushed cheek, still smiling when they withdraw.

“ Thank you, Idia. You're my most prized UR card. ” They're not sure if that's the correct way to phrase it, but they hope Idia will still understand what they're trying to say.

[igniida]

IDC what "canon" says this emo wears makeup.

[igniida]

"I'll be soup?? What does that mean?? Will they beat me into a soupy substance or cook me in a soup or kill me and make ME a soup?? Annie, Annie, What the fuck??"

-- ' ' You're NOT allowed to treat people like that !-- you have to be kind , or you will be SOUP ! & I don't want you to be soup because you're funny . . . ' '

[igniida]

Hadestown Musical Rp Meme

“If you tell them no, your a heartless man.”

“It’s an old song. It’s an old tale from way back when.”

“ There was a railroad line on the road to hell.”

“It’s a sad song. It’s a sad tale, a tragedy.”

“To know how it ends and still be able to sing it again as if it might turn out this time. I learned that from a friend of mine.”

“He could make you see how the world could be inspite of how it is.”

“ Everybody looked and everybody saw that spring had come again.”

“A tale of a love that never died.”

“Heavy and hard is the heart of a king.”

“The heart of a man is a simple one. Small and soft. flesh and blood.”

“Even the hardest of hearts unhardened when he saw her there.”

“Suddenly, he was only a man with the taste of nectar upon his lips.”

“ What of the heart of that man now that he has everything?”

“the more he has or holds, the more the weight of the world is on his shoulders.”

“But what he doesn’t know is that what he’s worried of losing is already gone.”

“A girl’s got to fight for her rightful share.”

“Help yourself to hell with the rest.”

“she called your name before she went, but I guess you weren’t listening.”

“What if I said she’s down below?”

“Course, there is another way, but I ain’t supposed to say.”

“Huh- with all your heart- that’s a start.”

“You keep on walking and don’t look back to you get to the bottom land.”

“Don’t give your name. You have none.”

“If you got is your own two legs, you best be glad you got them.”

“Don’t ask where brother. Don’t ask when.”

“It was a world of gods and men.”

“Is it true what you said?”

“You’re gonna have a matyr on you hands.”

“Lover,while you sing your song, winter is coming on.”

“Brother, why do you care? You will find another muse somewhere.”

“I’ll tell you where the road lies. Between your ears, behind your eyes, that is the path to paradise and likewise to ruin.”

“Everybody knows the walls have ears.”

“You said you would stay with me whatever weather came our way.”

��We would walk side by side for any weather of our lives.”

“Can’t promise fair sky above, but I will walk with you my love any way the wind goes.”

“Don’t need a ring for my little finger, but a steady hand to hold.”

“All i’ve ever known is how to make it on my own.”

“I was alone so long that I didn’t even know that I was lonely.”

“Out in the cold so long that I didn’t realize I was freezing.”

“All I have ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too.”

“I could give you a little bit of what you crave. A little taste of the old days.”

“Like he said, I’m an outdoor girl.”

“When the sun is high, brother, so am i.”

“When my man comes around, I know that he will bring me down.”

“Why would he trade the sunshine up here for pennies and dimes?”

“What we have- We have to share.”

“That’s how I am living it. Living it up on top.”

“

“Dog that you really have to dread is the one inside your head.”

“How about you and I? Are we gonna try again?”

“Wait for me, I’m coming.”

“Go and get your suitcase packed. Guess it’s time to go.”

“Nobody knows where that old train goes, but those who go they don’t come back.”

“hear that high lonesome sound of my husband coming to take me home.”

‘She went behind those doors and signed her life away.”

“We build the wall to keep us free.”

“The wall keeps out the enemy. The enemy is poverty.”

“When I was a young man, son I held a woman too.”

“He’d said he’d shelter us. He said we’d built it up and the walls would set us.”

“Sister, it’s a bitter wine. Spit it out while you have time.”

“Love was when he came to me when he was on bending on one knee to have mercy in his soul and let him lay me in the dirt.”

“Young man, I was once a young man too. I sang the young man’s blues.”

“Promises you make to me.”

“You said the world was generous and wouldn’t turn it’s back to us.”

“I flew away from promises you made.”

“ You better forget about your wishing well.”

“Takes a lot of medicine to get through the winter time.”

“the wage is nothing and the work is hard.”

“All the pretty songs you sing ain’t gonna shelter us from the wind.”

“Lover you were gone so long. Lover, I was lonesome.”

“Men are fools. Men are frail. Give them a rope and they will hang themselves.”

“What you gonna do when the chips are down?”

“Hey, little songbird. Give me a song.”

“I got walls to build, and I got riots to quell.”

“Always a pity for one so pretty and young.”

“Nobody sings on empty.“

"strange is the call of this strange man.”

“I want a nice soft place to land.”

“You shine like a diamond down in the minds.”

“The choice is yours if you’re willing to choose.”

“We build the wall to keep us free.”

“Wouldn’t you have done the same in her shoes or her skin?”

“You can have your principles when your belly’s full.”

“It’s my gut that I can’t ignore.”

“Oh how my heart wishes to say, but my gut is groaning on.”

“Doubt comes in and chills the air.”

“It’s as though you aren’t there.”

“If you want to keep your head, you got to keep your head low.”

“It at right and it ain’t natural.”

“Lover when you feel that fire think of it as my desire for you.”

“I’ll sing a song of a love gone wrong.”

“Every year, they have this fight.”

“They call it freedom.”

“Couldn’t quite see their faces right, but you can hear him singing.”

“Free to spend enterinty in the factor or the warehouse.”

“I don’t understand. You said this was the promiseland.”

“There it ain’t no rest for your weary soul.”

“Don’t you see, it’s different with me?”

“DIfferent then who? They thought they were different too.”

“Oh, it was a mistake alright.”

“A lot can happen behind closed doors.”

[igniida]

"You're either the bravest soul I know or the most foolish one." Idia is almost envious of them. He would never admit it aloud but he was envious of anyone who could have hope in a world that detested such a thing so greatly. Salem was right, the world was cruel, it was hard to have hope. It took more courage then Idia had to have hope. Perhaps that was why Idia enjoyed Salem's company. They had the courage that he lacked.

Not only that but perhaps they were right too. Maybe good things did exist. Video games existed, cats existed, in a way Ortho still existed, Salem existed. There was good in the world at least a few seeds of it left.

But to acknowledge those scant good things would mean to risk having that hope taken from him. Which terrified him more then having no hope at all. It was easier to ignore the good, pretend hope did not exist and that only cruelty existed then risk having more taken from him.

"Just be sure to keep that hope in check. It'll hurt when it comes crashing down." He doesn't mean to be a pessimist. It's simply in his nature. He'd call himself a 'realist' as for him pessimism was reality. And this warning was his way of helping Salem.

He didn't care for many people in fact in a cruel way he found others suffering almost vindicating. As though it reminded him that he was not the only one cursed to live. A truth he was not entirely proud of. But Salem was one of the few he liked, one of the few he did not want to see cursed in the way that he had been.

It's a loaded question for anyone, let alone a creature like Salem who's incapable of love. It's not as simple as asking whether one believes in the existence of beings beyond their sight and comprehension. Love exists everywhere, it's an undeniable truth even if people like Idia want to invalidate its authenticity.

The real question Idia is asking is unspoken, and maybe he doesn't even realize that's what he's asking. Do you believe in love for you?

“  I want to.  ” The words are uttered like a confession, Salem revealing a desperate hope in themself that they haven't fully comprehended yet.

Love does not exist in the hollow vessel their soul has been bound too, only the remains. But maybe if things had been different, maybe if they had survived that night, love could have bloomed within both their aching hearts. Maybe if they could find a cure for their condition they would be able to love again.

In answering Idia's question, Salem has done something they've so earnestly tried to avoid. They've acknowledged the seed of hope that lives within them, foolishly planting it within the infertile soil of their heart. They've reached a point of no return, and now they are forced to inevitably watch that hope wither away before their eyes.

“  The world is so cruel. It's hard to have hope.  ” Salem's words are just as heavy as the question they're responding to. Yet their stoic and impassive demeanor does not change. They meet Idia's eyes with a steady gaze, looking almost resolute in their composure. “  But I want to hope. I want to believe that good things exist.  ”

[igniida]

Thinking about baby boi

[igniida]

Idia really verges on the border of controlling and not. Like I wouldn't describe him as controlling persay. But he's grown up in a very controlled environment one that he had a lot of control over even in regards to the people he dealt with. So when he feels he's lacking control it does make him incredibly anxious as he doesn't entirely know how to handle the situation. Usually he'll handle the situation by just detaching from it entirely, saying it has nothing to do with him and ollying on outta there. However when a situation that should be perfectly in his control yet there are factors in it which he cannot control, he gets alot more well anxious is the best word. Because he does not know how to deal with that kind of situation and it makes him nervous which makes him frustrated which causes him to lash out and/or spiral into fatalistic depression. So while he's not exactly "controlling" he does need a sense of control.

[igniida]

And there he goes again. Freezing everyone out before they even get the chance to get close. Maybe it was better that way. He wasn't someone to be loved. Everything he loved, everything that had loved him, had been torn from him by fate. His parents so adoring but too busy to ever see him, his brother taken from him before they even had a chance to grow together, his only friend here one day and gone the next. Fate had looked upon him and dictated 'There is no love for this creature'. And all he could do was accept that.

If he tried to hold onto something to love what would happen to them? How would fate deny him? What would fate do to them? Could he live with himself if he cursed another all for something as selfish as love?

It was better to be alone.

"Don't apologize." His voice is quieter now the chill still lingering in it yet not as harsh. A blizzard letting up but not exactly dying down. It hurts to shut them out. But it's so much safer, so much better to do so. This way no one gets hurt.

He's silent for a long time unsure what to say or do. The best option feels like he should request Salem to leave. But instead he finds himself asking "Do you believe in love?... Why?"

Ghosts do not live, not really. They only exist, dwell in liminal spaces and the memories of the living who knew them. Salem is no different. They only dwell in the places that others often overlook. They only exist in the memory of someone who wants nothing more than to forget them. 

Maybe Idia thinks that night does not linger like a ghost to haunt him. But what does that make Salem? They’re not a person anymore. They’re nothing more than the faint afterimage of the person who had once held Idia’s heart, a ghost that can only ache for what they used to be.

That ghost only aches in response to Idia’s bitterly cold words. 

“ I’m sorry. ” It's too late for Salem to apologize for everything they've done to hurt Idia. It's too late to fix what has been broken for years now. But at the very least they can make amends for hurting him now and assure they'll never get close enough to do it again. They owe him that much.

“ I shouldn't have said anything. ” Salem can't comment on their knowledge or lack thereof. That would only take them to the point of no return. They need to return back to the shadows. It's safer there, for both of them.

[igniida]

"Probably not." Leona had a very good point in that. If the others wanted to talk they would and no contracts or legal teams could stop them. A comforting and all together terrifying notion for Idia. It showed some level of trust, perhaps even compassion, from his fellow students. But it also meant a severe lack of control an all to familiar and horrifying experience for Idia.

It's Idia who breaks their gaze another unsurprising turn of events. His golden eyes locking to focus on something to the side of them rather then maintaining contact with Leona's intense eyes. Usually under such a stare Idia would have fled to the darkest corner possible. However with just the two of them and with the unfamiliar gentle mirth in Leona's grin, it almost felt safe. "I wish I could have your confidence. Ah... But thinking about the one time I did..." That dreaded Halloween, he couldn't even remember how he acted but from everyone's reaction he didn't need too. However now there's a hint of amusement in is own voice a grin bordering on sinister "Maybe it's better I let you have the cool guy role."

leona lets idia rattle off his dramatic monologue, full of what ifs and things that won't happen. a brow lifts faintly over his scarred eye, and his arms cross over his chest. “calm down, radish sprout. 'm not tellin' anyone about anything.” he pauses, but his vibrant eyes don't flick away from idia's.

“and no one else is, either. everyone on the outside'll know what they need to, n' nothing more.” the grin returns, but there's something more gently amused in it now. “besides, do y' really think a piece of paper would stop any of us from saying anything if we wanted to?”

[igniida]

(Spoilers for twst Book 7 part 3)

Idia and Ortho's parents....🥹💙

[igniida]

"Of course you didn't." Idia can't say he's surprised. He knew Leona would be one of the hardest to convince to sign anything in regards to what had happened at the labs. Not only did he have the background to know that you didn't sign anything without a legal team behind you, he also had to knowledge and stubbornness to question anything he was told asked to sign. Truly the kind of person STYX detested dealing with most. His faint smug grin only proved he knew what he'd been doing.

"Of course you were!!" None the less Idia falls for his 'innocent' act. "Do you know the ramifications for all of STYX, no the world, if what happened ever got out?? We'd have to move all our facilities, the entire Isle of Woe, there'd be mass panic, they'd be ripping our doors down demanding answers, lives could be at stake!" Now he was just being dramatic. "Do you think we hand those things out for fun??"

“i didn't sign anything.” and his expression says he either would have turned it to sand if they tried, or he did. that seriousness then breaks into a hint of a shit-eating grin. “was i supposed to?”

[igniida]

"... Did STYX's legal team ever find out if the others signed the NDA?"

[igniida]

It's true. Salem was completely right. Hearing it said aloud felt revealing as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest and laid bare for all the world to see. For even him to see. They were right but to say that aloud, to look at his exposed heart and admit to the wounds left on it. That would be a death sentence without the kindness of a killing blow.

"No. I simply learned." In a way he is denying that he was hurt without denying that it happened. No he was not hurt, yes someone did something to hurt him. But he is not hurt, it does not ache and live on like a ghost in his memories. It was a lesson. A harsh lesson of why you never trust your heart with another.

"Don't act like you know everything. You barely even know me." He hasn't spoken this coldly to them since they were first years. Why does it hurt more to do so now? "No one made me believe anything. I chose my own beliefs."

" Someone has hurt you. " Salem's habit of making definitive sounding statements makes it easy to conceal the knowledge they have. Theoretically it would be easy to guess this much on their own. All their research of humans has brought them to the conclusion that such deep-seated cynicism rarely exists without pain lying underneath.

Flowers cannot grow without a seed being planted. Even as a seasoned gardener, this seed is the only one Salem has ever regretted planting.

" Someone has made you believe that this is true. Is that right? "