ihatebingushaversack

[ihatebingushaversack]

no fuck bingus and thank god someone finally had the big ass to say it

my people cower in the shadows of anonymity. come into the light, little lamb. hate Bingus with pride and immutable determination in your eyes.

you will always have an ally in ihatebingushaversack

[ihatebingushaversack]

finally back. they’ve been keeping me under netflix’s locke and key (2020-2022) because i dared speak my mind on ihatebingushaversack tumblr dot com

i only escaped due to the decisive extralegal intervention of a certain friend of the blog. i won’t name names, but let’s just say, gorilla to you too, Jane Goodall

[ihatebingushaversack]

oh poor sweet misguided bisexualcraizin,

I Already Factored All Of That In.

Those Are The Results For Destroy Undead.

100 undead gorillas clear Bingus confirmed

100 gorillas vs 1 Bingus

[ihatebingushaversack]

To test your hypothesis, I treated all 100 gorillas as undead and gave Bingus the most favorable circumstances possible: she acts first in initiative and all 100 gorillas are not only within 30ft of her but are each completely silent and have clear sight lines to fulfill the conditions of Turn Undead. I had each of the 100 undead gorillas attempt the save against her spell save dc, and repeated this process five times to account for variance.

On average, 29 undead gorillas survive Turn Undead. When we apply the average gorilla damage from the last experiment, these surviving gorillas deal more than enough to kill Bingus in one round.

Even in the case where the fewest undead gorillas survive (Trial #4, 23 survivors), the aforementioned damage average per undead gorilla still overkills Bingus by about 25 damage.

Even if Bingus uses her bonus action after Turn Undead to upcast Spiritual Weapon at her highest possible level, crits, and deals max damage, she would only kill two additional undead gorillas, which is not enough to save herself even in the Trial #4 scenario.

In conclusion, Bingus cannot defeat 100 gorillas even if they are undead. Fuck you Bingus I hate you

100 gorillas vs 1 Bingus

[ihatebingushaversack]

I have simulated the 100 gorillas vs 1 Bingus fight and the gorillas kill Bingus five times over in one round. Find advanced statistics and fun facts below.

-Bingus dies after only 19 gorillas.

-Bingus dies no matter when she goes in the order. If she goes first and deals her highest damage possible, she only kills 4 gorillas (and this is bending the rules very generously in her favor). If she goes after the first 18 gorillas and somehow manages to heal back to full, she dies after the next 16 gorillas.

-If Bingus goes first and deals her highest damage possible and deals the damage specifically to kill the gorillas that would have dealt the most damage to her, the remaining gorillas would still do enough damage to kill her well over four times.

-The gorillas dealt 562 damage total and averaged 5.62 damage each.

-Gorilla #28 dealt the most damage, 23 points of bludgeoning damage on a multi attack double crit.

-The second highest damage goes to Gorilla #100, who brought us home with one final crit for 22 damage.

-35 gorillas miss completely, I can only assume because they did not wish to defile their gorgeous hands with Bingus putrescence.

Please message if you would like the data. Quality studies need to be replicable, and I welcome you all to try killing Bingus with 100 gorillas yourselves.

100 gorillas vs 1 Bingus

[ihatebingushaversack]

100 gorillas vs 1 Bingus

[ihatebingushaversack]

tw filth and villainy in the latest episode (bingus mentioned)

[ihatebingushaversack]

You wish bingus would kiss you so bad

if I had three genie wish they would be for the following and in this order:

1. Bird poop on Bingus head right after new haircut that she was feeling good about

2. Jane Goodall follows ihatebingushaversack tumblr dot com

3. Radicalized Jane Goodall has the power to explode fictional characters with her mind

[ihatebingushaversack]

I bet you’re secretly the number one bingus lover

if this was true my blog would be called numberonebinguslover or some such foolishness but it is not and if you look at the name of my blog it might give you a mystery mouseketool that will help you later

[ihatebingushaversack]

You’re so obviously in love with bingus it’s crazy

you seem confused, friend. you see, this blog is called ihatebingushaversack because I named it after I hate Bingus haversack

[ihatebingushaversack]

ihatebingushaversack tumblr dot com

[ihatebingushaversack]

the FBI kicked down my door because they are fans of Bingus Haversack. I knew I was in no danger because Bingus supporters are often weak of arm and spleen

[ihatebingushaversack]

Biggie haversack would crush you into the ground with her giant foot powers by her even more giant ass

Haversack couldn’t do that because she is a fictional character and I am not and so it’s No Biggie

[ihatebingushaversack]

I turned on push notifications for ihatebingushaversack so that every time I post I get Bingus hate beamed straight into my retinas

[ihatebingushaversack]

[ihatebingushaversack]

I hate this wave of bingus hate like ok loser i bet you didn't even listen to arc 1 and you only know bingus from this year's live show

im gonna arc 1 steel cannonball in the air directly onto bingus’ head so she shows no (a)live

[ihatebingushaversack]

bingus is literally a perfect bby angel and you have a heart that is full of hate and misery

feel like I’ve been very explicit about how full of hate my heart is, also why did you only leave one letter out of the word baby that’s something so dumb only Bingus would think of it