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I asked him if I could tell him my new name, but don't expect him to use it around others. He said yes, but he won't use it around others
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Realized I can only tell one family member that I'm transsexual so I did. And it went good

#im emotionally exhausted after these past couple of days#but music sounds so much richer now and the birds have never been more melodic
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Suicidal people need more from society than a link to a hotline.
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It feels like for the first time in three billion years I wasn't let down by a professional/institution for once.. he spent so much time digging up and finding this one place he heard could take me in for hrt. Then he spent another eternity finding the right diagnosis so insurance would cover speech therapy, making sure to word it in a way that doesn't out me to everyone who looks at the slip. he was so sweet. When he heard me talk about my wish to transition he scolded me to take it easy and to keep my anxiety and my tendency to put myself under pressure in mind, but emphasised that he supported me entirely. Doctors? Doing their work so well? In my vicinity?
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It went so well im. Close to sobbing. He thanked me for my trust and put so much effort into looking up places to refer me to
Hnggg tomorrow is the day.... I'm nervous...
#he did misgender his patients so i feel like he'll be misgendering for the future to come lol but hes got the spirit.#even brought up the nbs himself and was accepting when i made allusions to being one#so nice...
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they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives
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no fucking awoo. no awoo right now. its late. its not awoo time. its sleeping time. go the fuck to bed.
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Head went into dangerous territory last night but then I asked myself "what do I really want to do now? Right this second?" so I started playing katamari until sleep time

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i can't be the only one who's just straight-up ... bored with women hating themselves. my mom keeps lamenting to me how upset she is about her gray hair. my friend stares at her laugh lines every day in agony. my sister loses sleep over the horrible unbearable thought of looking fat. and every time these women i love open up to me, i can't help but think ... then stop staring at yourself? stop drowning yourself, narcissus, and just fucking live your life instead of sitting in front of a mirror obeying cosmetic corporations' lies. just stop it. this is getting ridiculous. you're too smart to be falling for this bullshit. "oh no but these men who hate women told me that if i'm ugly i'm worthless!" girl if you actually believe that then good luck. but i am getting worse at being supportive of people whose nonsense worldviews keep them trapped in pain. stop looking at yourself start fucking living i am pleading you deserve to be happy and it is stupid that you disagree
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OCs are so fun and I think its awesome that even people who don't plan to publish a story or draw that well will have them. Its just good for you to have toys in your brain to play with.
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did some math based on adventurer's bible stuff about average sizes of tallmen & half-foots & the canon heights of the characters and. chilchuck is the half-foot equivalent of 6'5
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