ikxsky-blog

[ikxsky-blog]

“it is, and if i work hard enough it’ll be worth it in the end, but it is very hard.” her eyes trailed over the greenery around them, watching as sunlight reflected off the leaves on the trees and bushes - she loved the summer, everything was so alive and warm and beautiful. “i love summer, it’s so great to get out into the fresh air and relax. i think it’s something a lot of us trainees appreciate; just being outside for once.” she laughed lightly, easily realxed in this situation. humming at the question she thought over recent happenings. “i phoned my parents the other day, it was nice getting to speak to them after so long and i feel a lot more confident after that. but other than that just trying to improve my singing as quickly as possible for this show. what about you?”

. the 1st

Ji nodded, listening to his friend.  “It looks fun.  I don’t know that I’d ever want to compete in something like that though.”  The competition was so intense, and the results so arbitrary–it was a little terrifying.  He smiled at the squeeze of her hand.  “Isn’t it?  I feel like I haven’t been outside in a while.  Not really, anyway.  Every time I get a free moment, I’m rehearsing or working on assignments for my English class.”  He pulled her to a free bench and sat.  “So, how are you?  Other than stressed from rehearsal.  Anything new going on?”

[ikxsky-blog]

if anything, sky wanted to debut with byeol - the girl was always kind, and seemed like the perfect person to be in a group with, and she was talented and pretty. she seemed to have it all down, a born idol. but then sky knew that was just what she could see on the surface, but even so, there was no denying byeol was a nice person, and nice people were easier to work with. sky knew in her head who she’d like to end up debuting with if she stayed in the top seven until the end, and she assumed the other girls did too - she often wondered if there was anyone who thought she herself might be nice to debut with. but sky knew she’d like to debut with byeol as she replied, her kindness making sky smile. “i guess you’re right, and thank you! it said in the last grading i needed to work on my projection and my attitude when dancing, and i’m already working on my projection, it’s just the attitude i don’t really… understand?”

- ʜᴇʟᴘɪɴɢ ʜᴀɴᴅ

[ikxsky-blog]

                                    ♡  SOLO ;; PHONE-CALL  ♡

fingers tightening around the edge of her blanket, sky gripped her phone in one hand, staring at the contact name for a while. the dorm was empty, everyone still practising, and although sky would usually be with them, working hard to improve what she knew she was lacking in, she’d decided to use this opportunity to phone her parents. the last time she’d spoken to them was before the show started, and she missed them more than she could express. her hands shook as she pressed the call button, lifting the mobile to her ear and gnawing on her bottom lip as she waited for them to pick up.

“hello? sky?” the hope and excitement in his mother’s voice was clear to sky immediately, and it drew her lips into a broad grin, warmth seeping through her body at the familiar voice.

“hi mummy.” she didn’t often call her mother ‘mummy’, but she felt a lot smaller than usual - the show was stressful, and left her feeling like a helpless child half the time.

“sweetie! how are you? hold on let me get your father!” there was a fumbling noise on the other end of the line, then the distant sound of her mother calling her father’s name, only widening sky’s smile. she missed them both so much sometimes she wanted to give up and just run back home where things had been so much easier.

but this was her dream, and she wanted it, so she was going to stick it out.

“hey honey we’re both here now. how’s the show going? we’ve been watching, and you’re doing so well, sweetheart.” a pressure began to build behind her eyes at the sound of her father’s voice, and she couldn’t help but imagine his strong arms around her - she missed her dad’s hugs.

“it’s fun, but difficult. i need to improve a lot… i miss you.” she wasn’t aware of the tears building in her eyes until she sniffed and blinked, a couple teardrops trailing down her cheeks, which she hurriedly brushed away.

“we believe in you, baby. you’re great, and we know you’ll work hard. we’re so proud of you.”

a choked sob passed her lips at the words she yearned to hear from her parents - that they were proud. she only ever wanted to make them proud. her hands shook as she brushed away the tears that seemed to flow like a river down her face, unstoppable.

“sweetie don’t cry, you’ll make us cry!” but she could hear the sad smile in her mother’s voice. it was hard for all of them, hard for sky being away from them, and hard for them letting their only daughter live so far away without them to look after her. right up until she’d become a trainee under diamond she’d constantly been with her parents, been looked after and guided, and now she had to guide herself, look after herself, and it was difficult.

“i’ll do my best to make you more proud.” sky spoke, her voice cracking and weak from the tears.

“we’re already proud, and we’ll be proud no matter what. just do your best, make yourself proud, follow your dream, okay, honey? as long as you’re happy.” sky hummed, unable to speak anymore as the tears fell and her throat closed up. there was a short moment of silence within which they just let themselves feel comfortable in the knowledge that they were there, they were listening, that even though they were so far from each other, they had this moment to feel closer.

“i should go back to practise now, i love you.” sky practically whispered in the phone, receiving what she knew was a watery smile from her mother, and a small smile more present in his eyes than lips from her father - she knew exactly what they’d look like in this moment, and it made her miss them so much more.

“okay xiao, we miss you, baby, and we’ll be watching and rooting for you. we love you too.”

“bye mum, dad.”

“bye bye sweetheart.”

and then they were gone, the line silent as sky slowly dropping the phone from her ear, ending the call and wiping at her cheeks with the sleeves of her yellow sweater. then with renewed strength she pushed herself off the bed and made her way back to the practise rooms, a smile on her lips - she’d do well, she knew she would.

[ikxsky-blog]

she knew byeol must be tired from practise and she felt a little bad bothering someone when she knew how much pressure was on all of their shoulders, putting all the time they had into practising, but she felt like the girl who was doing so well had to have at least some advice to hand to someone who seemed not to be doing as well as she hoped. she hoped for even just one piece of advice for her singing, or her dancing, or her expressions, or even how to practise better. anything would be of help to a girl who felt like the blue sweatshirt was weighing her down second by second. “can I ask for… advice? i know we’re kind of… rivals I guess even though I don’t think i’m much of a threat to someone as talented as you. but I just… you’re so good at it all, i wondered if you could maybe help me… just a little?”

- ʜᴇʟᴘɪɴɢ ʜᴀɴᴅ

[ikxsky-blog]

it was hard to ignore the girl proudly dressed in pink when sky felt as blue as her sweatshirt. she loved the dance for pick me, but maybe the song was a little repetitive. she knew a lot of the girls hated it already, but she found she wasn’t able to when it fit her skillset so well. after the first evaluation, the song that just didn’t seem to fit her, she was so pleased with the one that fit her like a glove. but even when she felt she was doing well - she wasn’t doing well enough when there were girls like jiyeon around.

if sky could pick, she’d want both of them to do well. she’d like to do well like jiyeon, because she didn’t think she could ever wish for someone to do badly just so she could seem to do better. she’d always aimed to please, to make others happy - she’d always wanted the people around her to be cheerful, but it felt like so many of the girls around her weren’t feeling that recently, and she couldn’t help because even if she’d not done as well as she hoped, she still did better than some others, and she never knew how to console someone when she was in a higher position.

that wasn’t the case with jiyeon though - jiyeon was doing well but sky knew it was probably just as nerve wracking as being a grade c. she wondered as well if jiyeon even thought of her as anything close to a threat... probably not. sky was nowhere near her level so she really had nothing to fear in sky. even so, as she prepared to start dancing she felt like it was almost a competition between them both - they’d see what the difference between a grade a and a grade c was. of course she was worried about how things would turn out, but she needed to practise, so there was nothing she could do.

.rival

[ikxsky-blog]

she gave a slow nod - she’d always thought practise was tiring, but it was nothing compared to that of a survival show. every moment was spent dancing, or singing, or simply worrying about the next task, the opinions of the viewers - everything. “so far it’s okay, not so great, but even though it’s insanely tiring it’s fun at the same time.” it was nice to get out though, not spend every second in the practise rooms or the dorms. as she felt his hand take hers, their fingers entwining she couldn’t help but smile and give his hand a slight squeeze. “it really is. it’s nice to be outside - some of those practise rooms don’t even have windows!”

. the 1st

“Not too bad.  Some stress over rehearsal but nothing like preparing for a survival show.”  Ji smiled over at his friend.  It was nice to see her, to be with someone as happy and easy as Xiaojian.  “How is the show going, by the way?  Rehearsals must be ridiculous.”  Part of him was glad he didn’t have to participate, the other part worried about his friends who were.  Survival shows weren’t necessarily fair, but the company seemed particularly fond of them.  Ji took Xiao’s hand, linking their fingers and swinging their hands back and forth between them.  “It’s beautiful out today.”

[ikxsky-blog]

she gave a slow nod - she’d always thought practise was tiring, but it was nothing compared to that of a survival show. every moment was spent dancing, or singing, or simply worrying about the next task, the opinions of the viewers - everything. “so far it’s okay, not so great, but even though it’s insanely tiring it’s fun at the same time.” it was nice to get out though, not spend every second in the practise rooms or the dorms. as she felt his hand take hers, their fingers entwining she couldn’t help but smile and give his hand a slight squeeze. “it really is. it’s nice to be outside - some of those practise rooms don’t even have windows!”

. the 1st

“Not too bad.  Some stress over rehearsal but nothing like preparing for a survival show.”  Ji smiled over at his friend.  It was nice to see her, to be with someone as happy and easy as Xiaojian.  “How is the show going, by the way?  Rehearsals must be ridiculous.”  Part of him was glad he didn’t have to participate, the other part worried about his friends who were.  Survival shows weren’t necessarily fair, but the company seemed particularly fond of them.  Ji took Xiao’s hand, linking their fingers and swinging their hands back and forth between them.  “It’s beautiful out today.”

[ikxsky-blog]

sky wasn’t surprised by the air that surrounded sora as she sat beside her - she felt bad because she really didn’t deserve the amount of votes she got. sora had done better in the evaluation and sky couldn’t fathom why she’d not gotten as many votes at sky herself. it made no sense and she felt incredibly guilty. “i don’t really know what to think, to be honest. the voting didn’t really line up with the grades, so i don’t have any idea how it’ll go. and...about that. i feel really bad about...well about the votes. you deserved to be higher up, you did really well… i just wish i could change it.” it was so unfair, and she hated unfairness.

.GOᑎᕮ ᗩᔕKᕮᗯ

Sora nodded in response when the other trainee asked for a break. She headed over to her water bottle and drained it. She listened to the younger trainee and bit her lip before responding. Truthfully, Sora was feeling a little cold towards Sky who had only gotten a C grade but still surpassed Sora by two ranks. The feeling of being out of the top seven wasn’t a pleasant one and she felt like most of the girls deserved it but Sky was not one of them in the first round. Still, they were friends, and Sora wasn’t about to be catty. “Um, okay. I’m excited still but it will be hard. More hard than I thought. Why? What do you think?”

[ikxsky-blog]

                              STAR |★|  Ep. 2 - Re-Evaulation                                                   ⋆  Pick Me  ⋆

                                                  ⋆ * ✧ ★ ✧ * ⋆

the smile hadn’t left her face since sky had heard the song and seen the dance - it fit her far better than bad girl, good girl had and she knew exactly why it had been picked for them. the song not only included vigorous dance moves, but required solid vocals as well, and though sky knew her voice wasn’t amazing yet, she was suddenly glad she’d taken the advice a sunbae had given her once; to practise singing while running to increase the strength and stability in her voice when dancing so she didn’t lose breath halfway through.

many of the other c grade girls spent the few days they had to practise before their re-evaluation worrying about getting the moves right and not running out of breath during the ‘pick me’ part of the song, but this song was exactly sky’s style - upbeat and cheerful and she was extremely glad there were no dramatic high notes in the song. it was altogether rather high, but so was sky’s voice. it felt like the song had been made for her, and after the horrible start she’d gotten off to with her c grade, and being voted so low (even though she didn’t deserve to be any higher with her disappointing grade), it felt like a blessing being given ‘pick me’.

learning the dance hadn’t taken long, the chorus was the same systematic routine, and the rest was pretty simple, easy dance moves she had no problem with. sure, listening to the song over and over and over for days got tiring, and it wasn’t something she’d usually listen to exactly, but it was definitely her style - she couldn’t help but smile brightly every time she practised the dance. while all the other girls worried about keeping their breath during the song, sky worried only a bit about the projection of her voice. it was the one thing she wanted to work more on. so once the dance was perfected, and she’d sung through it while dancing - finding the breathing challenging, but not something she wasn’t able to get with a few more practises, she spent the majority of her time practising her projection.

until the night before the re-evaluation day came around and sky focused her last few hours of practise on putting it all together. every move that was supposed to be sharp, came out quick and precise, her smile never leaving her face. the more delicate moves gave her that small moment to use her expressions more - she knew that the nervousness of her first performance had shown clear on her face, but this time she was confident in how much she’d done to practise, and how well the song suited her. she was able to get through the song without losing her breath, though she was definitely tired at the end of each run through, her voice wasn’t as projected as she wanted it to be, but it was an improvement from her first performance and she was glad the hard work had paid off.

as the girls sat waiting for their turn to perform the song alone in front of the camera sky went over the lyrics, the dance moves, the breathing, the projection in her head while focusing on relaxing herself. of course she was a little nervous - it’d be odd if she wasn’t, but she was infinitely more confident than she was at her first evaluation.

so when her name was called she took to her feet with a deep breath and a smile, stepping into the space before the camera and giving a smile before getting into place to start the song. the first moves were simple, before the singing started.

every bit went the way she wanted it to, and even on the multiple ‘pick me’s’ bit where many girls already had lost their breath she made sure her voice held steady with all the power she was able to put in it. she knew her voice wasn’t the best in the group of girls, but it wasn’t the worst, and she hoped that they’d see that though her projection still wasn’t the best out of all the girls in the entire show, she was improving steadily.

the song came to an end and she finished with her chest heaving but a bright, pleased smile on her lips, before giving a bow and returning to her spot on the floor with the other girls, breathing heavily, but overall pleased with how she’d done. she just hoped the judges with see how hard she’d worked over the three days they’d had to practise, and how much she wanted this and was prepared to work to improve.

[ikxsky-blog]

              ❀ ▬ MB #2 ▬ HERE COMES TROUBLE ▬ ❀

“ you and i are more than friends… we’re like a really small gang. “

[ikxsky-blog]

                                                                         ✿  SOLO ;; JOURNAL ✿

Sky was writing once again, a journal about her progress in the show. So far her page had a single line written on it, and she wasn’t sure how to get everything in her head down without it all falling out in a jumble of spilled ink. Curled up in her bed in the dorm, blanket pulled tight around her she chewed on the end of her pen as she thought. It wasn’t that there wasn’t enough to put down, it was that there was too much she wanted to write, but didn’t know how. Everything felt so jumbled, like things were constantly turning on their head around her; the rug tugged out from beneath her feet.

But soon enough the words began to flow, and she didn’t have an intention of stopping until it was all scribbled down.

She wrote about how frustrating it was, trying so hard but doing so badly, how she wasn’t used to failing - how she’d had everything practically handed to her throughout her life, and now the one thing she wanted the most was so difficult to obtain. With some thought it made sense - that her future would be so hard to obtain; her dream. It felt like everything rode on this, and she’d gotten off to such a disappointing start she wondered if she could even change the audience's minds about her abilities, if she could show she was worthy of that spot in the group.

Though her hand began to ache as she scribbled everything down she didn’t slow. The constant worries were giving her continuous headaches, and all she wanted was to curl up away from it all for a while. Just a day to spend with the only person who she could really let her thoughts out to, the only person she wanted to be around when she felt so helpless. With other girls she had to put on a mask, like she was strong, and could do anything she put her mind to, but with Jiao she felt she could simply let go of all that.

She didn’t have to pretend for her - Jiao was the only person she could really let everything out to and she was forever thankful for having her as a friend. But right now they also seemed to be put against each other, even though Sky would never think of it that way. Even if she didn’t make it she wanted Jiao to for the both of them. She’d always wanted to debut with her, but if it came to it she’d rather Jiao made it even if she had to wait for the next chance and watch her friend reach her dream first.

But she wasn’t going to go down without a fight - she’d get there. She was willing to work harder and practise through the night to get what she wanted. She knew she could do it; she’d make herself, her friends and her parents proud in this show, no matter what the end was, she would show she worked hard throughout.

[ikxsky-blog]

- ʜᴇʟᴘɪɴɢ ʜᴀɴᴅ

@ikbyeol

Sky had never been particularly filled with pride, but it did hurt a little to have to ask someone who should be her competition for help. She didn’t see Byeol as someone she had to dislike purely because she could grab a spot in the group she so desperately wanted to debut in, but there was always that worry in the back of her head that she’d feel bitter towards the girls who made it if she didn’t. But she did need help, and Byeol was doing so well, even though people were being mean about it, she didn’t believe any of the talk about rigging, or purely based off popularity - Byeol did well and she deserved the votes she got, so she decided to ask for her advice.

It didn’t take long to find her, and as she lowered herself to sit beside the girl on the practise room floor she crossed her legs and turned to Byeol with a small smile. “Could I ask you something?”

[ikxsky-blog]

.rival

@ikjiyeon

She was scared - she wanted to do so well, but so far everything wasn’t going to plan. She’d tried to hard for the first eval, and had received a C - a C! - Sky hated that. She’d been up night and day practising that dance, and had been so happy with how she’d figured out where she was disappointed with her dancing, she was so happy with how it turned out in the end that it was disheartening to see that other people didn’t see it that way.

But some of the girls in Star scared her - Jiyeon being one of them. Because she was doing so well, and she seemed so talented it made Sky wonder if she’d ever reach that level of skill - if she’d ever be enough to make it into the group that got to debut. It was all she wanted, and she knew she hadn’t been training in a company for as long as some of the other girls, but she’d been dancing for almost half her life and she knew she was good.

So as she turned on the song she was practising her dance for and looked at herself in the mirror she couldn’t help but see Jiyeon setting up on the other side - she already felt self-conscious, but she needed to practise, no matter who was around. So she began to stretch, trying to keep her eyes off the girl she couldn’t see as anything other than competition - her rival.

[ikxsky-blog]

. the 1st

@ikshinji

Sky didn’t have much time to spare recently with all the practises and recording of Star, but she’d managed to make time for Shinji, a friend she hadn’t spent enough time with recently. They’d found a little park not far from Prism company building where they’d met. Walking slowly around the little square of grass in the centre of the park surrounded by trees and flowers Sky let her eyes linger on Shinji, a soft smile stuck on her lips. “How’s things been for you recently then? Hopefully not as stressful as my life has been these past couple weeks.

[ikxsky-blog]

. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ

Her muscles ached, but the first episode of the show was over and she had a couple days free of the stress of performing to her highest standard constantly. The days practise had gone well, and the low grade she’d received only made her more determined to do well, along with the ranking in the voting she wasn’t yet happy with. But the evening was one she’d been looking forward to the entire day. It was difficult not practising with her best friend as she usually did, the support she usually had wasn’t there, and she had to adjust quickly. But Jiao had agreed to an evening out with Sky and she couldn’t be more happy.

She’d retrieved the younger girl from her dorm with a bright smile on her lips. Even going a day without being able to talk to Jiao felt like too long - she was her best friend and had been since the moment she set foot in Diamond Entertainment. She’d not known very much Korean at that point, but Jiao had been the first person she encountered who she was able to talk to easily, and not just because they spoke the same language. Ever since the day they met they’d been practically inseparable, so the evening out together was definitely something Sky had been happy to be able to have.

They took the bus to the closest street market where they could buy street food (which Sky had been craving), Sky clinging to Jiao’s hand and letting her eyes scour over the street before her, awash with colour, the stalls with their little lanterns lightening the little street. “I just love street markets.” Sky muttered as she tugged the younger along beside her, quickly finding them lost in the mingle of people wandering along, looking at the things being sold. After all that they’d gone through the past couple weeks Sky knew they both needed this - she knew Jiao better than anyone, maybe even better than herself.

[ikxsky-blog]

MOODBOARD: YI XIAOJIAN aka SKY

[ikxsky-blog]

.GOᑎᕮ ᗩᔕKᕮᗯ

@ikxsora

Sky could feel the beat of the music in her very bones by this point, but her bones felt like jelly. She’d been practising for hours already and she should be used to it but her morale was down and she felt so much more drained than usual. The results from the first episode, and the comments got to her so easily - she’d never really done badly at anything before, and the song was so easy she didn’t know what happened. She’d thought, at the end when she figured out what she was doing, that she’d give a better performance, but it looked like the judges, and the viewers, didn’t think so.

She’d been practising with Sora, which definitely helped her to not just give up - she felt like she’d failed. She’d practised all through the night, but still received a grade that made tears prick at the backs of her eyes. She didn’t want to disappoint, but she didn’t know how to do any better. With a heavy sigh she came to a halt in her movements. “Can we take a short break?” Her words came out breathless and heavy as she pushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. Grabbing the little remote to turn off the stereo she dropped herself onto her butt and slumped against the mirror.

“Hey, Sora..?” Her voice was soft, head tilting to look up at the other girl. “What...What do you think about the show so far?” She wanted to see if she was the only girl who felt like she was doing something wrong. Sure she’d received more votes than she thought she would, but she didn’t know how she’d managed it. Sora had deserved to be above her on the voting, but she wondered where things had gone askew.