illusionistoxymoron

[illusionistoxymoron]

Every little cousin is like this

[illusionistoxymoron]

Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮

[illusionistoxymoron]

[illusionistoxymoron]

Literally such a funny concept

[illusionistoxymoron]

bye to a real one… add your favourite smash mouth tweet

[illusionistoxymoron]

"Some cocks can't be un-sucked. But what if I told you..." [I place a large ancient book covered in runes on the desk between us] "...some could?"

[illusionistoxymoron]

do you guys ever think about dying? ✨

[illusionistoxymoron]

can i help you

[illusionistoxymoron]

It’s been seven months since we were in the same place

[illusionistoxymoron]

“this is the hill you want to die on?” oh no i just love arguing. i fully intend to leave this hill once it gets boring. sorry for the confusion!

[illusionistoxymoron]

Okay, okay, hear me out but this…

As them…

I mean it’s perfect, Luz even calls Amity her Sweet Potato

[illusionistoxymoron]

[illusionistoxymoron]

[illusionistoxymoron]

[illusionistoxymoron]

babies💞

[illusionistoxymoron]

Or water fountains, public washrooms, outdoors tables, etc, etc

[illusionistoxymoron]