ilovewashingmachines

[ilovewashingmachines]

[ilovewashingmachines]

i survived my suicide attempt… they said i shouldn’t have made it.. i’m so mad that i did make it, i wasn’t suppose to…

[ilovewashingmachines]

Please brain, just let me sleep...

[ilovewashingmachines]

And none of them happy...

[ilovewashingmachines]

Dear me,

You're nothing .

[ilovewashingmachines]

[ilovewashingmachines]

[ilovewashingmachines]

[ilovewashingmachines]

[ilovewashingmachines]

[ilovewashingmachines]

[ilovewashingmachines]

“I remember my first day without you… I’ve never been the same.”

— Jennifer Ross

[ilovewashingmachines]

I will never forget the moment your heart stopped and mine kept beating.

Angela Miller (via closetohonest)

[ilovewashingmachines]

Excuse me while I learn to breathe with all these broken parts in me.

Grief leaves scars (via littlewritingsforyou)

[ilovewashingmachines]

I didn't cry this year on this day. I'm not sure why.....maybe I'm just tired of hurting from all the pain I've endured. My heart aches when I see you, when I think of you, or when I hear your name. But I didn't cry this year. I wish I did. I wish I could have cried, yelled, and screamed at all my pain. Begging to the heavens to let me see you once. But I did, once, in a dream. It wasn't you, but it was, in my heart I knew. Thank you for visiting me, I needed that. I felt my heart rotting away. I miss you unbelievably much. So much I want to jump off a cliff. So much I want to slit my veins and just let darkness engulf me. I miss you maxy. Always and forever. 072611

[ilovewashingmachines]

<p>5 years • 5 years have gone by since I’ve last touched you, felt you, heard your last breath, and your last heart beat. I miss you everyday, and every day it gets worse. You’d think time heals but time just makes the memories more painful. I want to see you again, I search in dreams for you, but you never seem to appear anymore, and when you did I cried. Maxy ah, 我好想你喔. my world, my honeybunny, my ground, my air. Come back to me. </p>

[ilovewashingmachines]

Imagine.

I can still feel you touch. I can still imagine stroking you and feeling that course yet silky fur. I can still hear your breathing. I can still feel the weight of your paw on my hand. I can still smell you. I can still imagine you walking slowly to my door and knocking. I can still feel your warmth next to me. If I imagine. If I imagine, I can still feel. But when I don’t, all I feel is the cold. The empty space you use to be. My bed feels heavier and colder. My heart feels emptier and colder. I feel numb, but if imagine, I can feel you.