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The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

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you know a joke that never EVER gets old is when a character says smth like “I will NOT go to [place] and that is FINAL” and then it cuts to them in that place I eat that shit up every single time

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daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

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You've been the (un)willing host of a time-traveling knight who somehow ended up in your modern times. Since the fateful encounter he's become rather possessive of your company, yet today seems to be especially bad.

You eye the straw doll with increasing suspicion. As you make your way to the bedroom, you notice the discarded, crumpled scrolls littering the floor. You can't decipher the old writing.

"What's the meaning of this," you demand, stomping towards the massive, armored man.

"I have drafted a will," he confesses theatrically. "My time here is scarce."

"You don't even own anything here. Have you found a way to return?" your voice has a tint of hope to it; could it be that you'll soon have your peace back?

Oh, sweet, innocent (Y/N)! His door only leads to the cruel afterlife. He's been feverish all night, and his throat tightens with each whisper. He's all too familiar with the signs: a deadly disease. Worry not, he'll be departing with a clean conscience. He glances at the clumsily improvised doll - a curse he's learned from an old hag many years ago - and smiles faintly. No other man or woman will ever dare to yearn for you.

He jolts at the unexpected touch of your hand, resting against his hot forehead.

"Ah, you probably have a cold. I'll get you some decongestant from the pharmacy."

Huh?

"Wait, did you...did you think you're dying?"

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Caption From @ essenceofblackculture on instagram:

Kristi Williams

@kristi_williams_black_history, a Black woman whose aunt survived the Tulsa Massacre, saw Oklahoma trying to silence Black history-and answered with action. She started "Black History Saturdays," free community classes to teach what the schools won't.

Now the room is full, the lessons are real, and the legacy lives on. end caption

____________

This is a heroic feat that shouldn’t be needed. But because it is, a hero emerged.

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I've done Readers being transported in the past before, but what about the opposite scenario?

Some knight or swordsman who somehow ended up in modern times, and you were the (un)fortunate soul to find him wandering in utter confusion. Was there some Renaissance Fair in town? Did you live next to a medieval convention? After a short exchange you're convinced this man is indeed speaking the truth, and his large weapon isn't just a fancy fake he dangles around for show.

For everyone's safety, you offer your home until whatever time-space aberration brought him here might also take him back to his bloodied battlegrounds. He appreciates your support, perhaps a tad too much.

He follows you around like a lost dog. Becomes strangely possessive of your company, which - in any other circumstance - would count as a cute, jealous display. In this case, however, it involves a massive barbarian who deals with conflict by cracking skulls and swinging the blade.

You've had to stop him from beheading your friendly neighbor who happened to touch your shoulder one moment too long. You can't just kill people like that, you scolded fervently after the incident. Well, why did his hand linger, your time-travelling partner retorted with oratory passion, if he didn't intend to challenge me?

You're starting to believe the ferocious knight isn't as eager to go home as he originally claimed. Didn't he have a kingdom to protect? A war to win? Could be, yet now he's found a different master to serve. You.

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﹒♡ CURRENT BOYFRIEND CHALLENGE

ft. katsuki bakugo

“Hey, can I record something real quick?”

Bakugo’s sprawled on the couch, hair still damp from his shower, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, and a spoon halfway to his mouth. He eyes you suspiciously over his bowl of spicy noodles.

“Tch. The hell are you planning?”

“Nothing bad,” you say, sliding into the seat beside him with your phone already recording. “Just a little TikTok thing. You don’t have to do anything. Just… exist.”

He grunts. That’s as close to “fine” as you’ll get from him.

You point the camera at yourself, making sure he’s in frame behind you. “Okay,” you begin sweetly, “so I’m here with my current boyfriend…”

Bakugo pauses mid-bite.

His head slowly turns. “…Your what?”

You bite your lip, fighting a smile, still filming. “My current boyfriend.”

The look on his face and the meanest side eye says you have three seconds to explain before I level this apartment.

He sets the bowl down without breaking eye contact. “Current?”

“Mhm,” you say, leaning into the act. “You know, just until I find someone better.”

You don’t even get a full breath in before he’s on you — not aggressively, but fast, almost knocking the wind out of you. He grabs your phone and points the camera straight at himself.

“The fuck does that mean, current?” he growls, eyes sharp but his voice low. “There ain’t gonna be a next boyfriend. You think this is some temp job or somethin’? You think someone else can handle you like I can?”

You snort-laugh, but your face is heating up.

“Aww katsu’ You’re cute when you’re possessive.”

“I’m always possessive,” he snaps, tossing your phone gently onto the couch and crowding you until your back hits the cushions. “Say that ‘current’ shit again. Go on.”

You lift your chin, pretending to stay cocky. “My current boyfriend—”

He kisses you. Hard. One hand gripping your waist, the other braced by your head. When he pulls back, your brain is static and your lips are tingling.

“Say it again,” he says against your mouth, voice husky. “I dare you.”

You blink up at him, dazed. “I… might need to start calling you my forever boyfriend.”

A smug, dangerous smirk stretches across his face. “Damn right you do.”

He kisses you again, slower this time. Hungrier.

Somewhere, your phone keeps recording.

2025 © SAKURASZN !

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No children are allowed in the Library of Congress.

It's not that kind of library.

In other words...

You are being lied to

again

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the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

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me, the hugest sub bottom in the history of the world, looking at any image of a beautiful man: "i'm going to get him pregnant"

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there’s absolutely nothing better than reading a 100k word fanfic, that is until you remember you have a body that is starving, thirsty and incredibly sleep deprived and hasn’t used the bathroom since the sun set 8 hours ago

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If your fic is 1000 words long, you can’t tag it slow burn. It’s not slow burn. That is a matchstick. And this is my personal bias here but if those motherfuckers you’re writing experience significant forward momentum in their relationship in under 5k words, then that is just a regular old burn. Slow burn should be borderline intolerable and a mistake to start reading at 2 in the morning.

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thinking about izuku telling reader that he once slept with ochako a lot time ago and she's just like hahaha it's okay! I slept with shindo! and Monoma! and then shindo and monoma at the same time. they have the same birthday so it only made sense

and izuku is just like. what do. what do you mean it only made sense.

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slut readers top fucks are:

-monona and Shindo

-a teacher (after she graduated- she won't name who)

-the time Izuku called it making love and kissed her all night.

-izuku that one Halloween party

-Bakugo absolutely hammering her on Izuku's bee

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Idk, I just feel like riding Emmett in the backseat of his jeep while Dutch Melrose blasts over the aux would fix me🤷‍♀️

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Any idiot can like something thats good. It takes a real genius to like things that suck ass

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