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UK update 2025.06.19

UK went to the Stitch Caffe in Tokyo. He appreciated the experience and suggested that fans gave it a try during summer. There is one in Tokyo and one in Aichi. People need to make a reservation before hand.

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Based on my posts about wounds of the soul....

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Anxious / ambivalent attachment style

A child whose main caregiver tends to have a hot and cold attitude towards them, who is being inconsistant in the way they interact and respond to the child's needs is likely to develop this attachment style. Growing up, they build the inner belief that they cannot rely on that parent because of their unstability. Thus, they may tend to go to extreme lengths to ensure their needs are met. They are torn between their need for intimacy and their need for independance, just like the avoidant. But they end up being more on the codependant side.

Such people need constant validation and reassurance. They can come off as clingy or overwhelming. They fear being left out or abandoned. They have a hard time being away from the people they love. They can be quite possessive in their own way. They tend to overdo things for fear of not being enough, not being seen, not being heard nor loved. They tend to be emotionally unsable and quite sensitive, moody. They easily get triggered and take things personally. They tend to overshare and manifest a lot of anxiety. They have a hard time setting boundaries and understanding that of others. They may not understand their partner's need for space.

These are the type of people that prefer exclusive committed connections to casual and open ones. Intimacy and emotional closeness is really important to them. They need a lot of verbal communication as well as physical touch. They end up being as emotionally unstable as the parent that triggered the attachment style. If their needs are not met, they may be unfaithful. If they feel like their partner is being distant or unfaithful, they may go to extreme lengths to get them back, like enhancing their appearance, being overly present in the other's life, spying on them, being overly sensual and sexual to compensate for the other's disinterest, taking action against any potential "rival" and so on.

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Attachment styles and how hey affect our relationships : the avoidant

In this post, I will try to detail a bit further how the avoidant attachment style (AAS) manifests into a person's life and how it can affect them and the people around them.

First of all, it is important to remember that a child's and future adult's attachment style stems from their interactions with the person they identify as their main caregiver. In many cases, it is the mother. In the case of an AAS, the child's caregiver was emotionally unavailable. They did not answer appropriately or downright ignored the child's need for attention. Also, that parent tends to expect a lot from the child, especially a lot of maturity and the suppression of their emotions to the benefit of said parent.

Thus, the child integrates the following beliefs as core truths which will shape their behavior throughout their life in relationships :

"To expect attention from others means to end up being hurt, disappointed, rejected"

"Showing vulnerability and emotion isn't allowed"

"Sharing your load with others, asking for help is considered weakness"

"Others feelings and needs are more important than mine"

Feeling constantly rejected, that child develops a mask of indifference and apparent detachment when in reality they desperately crave contact. The child will try to repress emotions when triggered and pretend not to be affected. Overtime, these type of people become adults that prioritize their space and freedom over anything else. The second a sign of affection is being shown to them, their brain labels it as a potential threat and they immediately become distant, avoidant, indifferent, emotionally unavailable. In other words, they end up being like the parent that triggered that attachment style in the first place.

In relationships, the avoidant tends to be closed off and mysterious, doesn't share a lot about their inner world or how they're feeling. They prefer casual connections over intimate connections and open relationships rather than exclusive/committed ones. They focus solely on their own needs and goals, sometimes appearing as cold, egotistical. They can be harsh towards others when they feel like their space is being invaded or their freedom is being questioned. Any pronounced form of affection is seen as an intention from their partner to control, suffocate them. They may have a tendency to ghost others. They can also be pretty jealous, possessive because as much as they fear intimacy they also crave it. Thus, they tend to be very confusing and have that kind of hot and cold energy. You never really know what to expect with them.

This can be really difficult, both for them and their partner because on the one hand, they may feel like they'll never find a connection that matches their needs and expectations. Also they may suffer from seeing themselves hurting others when they don't want to. On the other hand, their partner may feel discouraged, confused, rejected and at a loss as to how to get them to understand they genuinely love them and mean no harm.

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#FreePaalestine - Personal readings for a great cause

Here are the rules :

- Donate any amount you feel comfortable donating to one of the following funds

- Send me through DM a screenshot as proof of your donation

- Send me through DM the email you wish your reading to be sent to. You can chose among the following options :

-> 3 cards general reading about the upcoming energies for you -> 3 cards spread for a yes or no question of your choice -> 3 cards spread to know what's coming for you in love

Please keep in mind that it may take quite some time for me to do the readings, especially if there are many requests. Thank you in advance for your participation.

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Help Us Reach Our Goal 💔

We’re a displaced Palestinian family from Gaza, trying to start over in Cairo.

So far, we’ve raised £254 out of our initial £500 goal — only £246 left to go 🙏

Every donation, even just £10, makes a huge difference!

This fundraiser is verified ✅

Please support us and share the link 💌

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Sharing with the hope that this helps

[im-not-a-ghost]

#FreePaalestine - Personal readings for a great cause

Here are the rules :

- Donate any amount you feel comfortable donating to one of the following funds

- Send me through DM a screenshot as proof of your donation

- Send me through DM the email you wish your reading to be sent to. You can chose among the following options :

-> 3 cards general reading about the upcoming energies for you -> 3 cards spread for a yes or no question of your choice -> 3 cards spread to know what's coming for you in love

Please keep in mind that it may take quite some time for me to do the readings, especially if there are many requests. Thank you in advance for your participation.

[im-not-a-ghost]

Littles questions out of curiosity

How does Kofi works exactly? Is it safe? Let’s say someone used it for paid readings, do you have to report what you earn out of it? Or is it based on donation so it’s okay if you don’t report it? Is it even legal? Lmao

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𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞'𝐬 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 + 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐭 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 (𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞: 𝐏𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬) Pt.3

This isn’t your average love reading. This is about the one, the soul who already exists in your energetic field, even if they haven’t stepped into your life yet.(Spoiler: yes, but not in the way you think).

🌸 before you dive into part 3... make sure you’ve read part 1 and part 2 so everything clicks perfectly and you don’t miss any of the details ✨

📎 read part 1 here: How Does Your Pile Contact Their Soulmate?

📎 read part 2 here: How is Your Soulmate Doing in the Physical World Right Now?

trust me, it sets the mood just right for what’s coming next 💌 pink skies, soft energy, and deeper truths ahead 💕

Close your eyes, take a deep breathe and pick your piles.

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 1

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 2

𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 3

🌟𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 1 :A girl with black footwear and red-pinkish tulips

Imagine a girl walks through a quiet, dew-kissed garden at dawn. She's wearing black footwear, the kind that make soft echoes on pavement, and in her hand,a trembling fist of red-pink tulips. They're not perfect. Some petals are curling at the edges, one has a bruise like a fingerprint. But they're hers, handpicked. She's walking somewhere important, and though she doesn’t fully understand why, she knows someone is waiting. This is your soul in this lifetime and the tulips? They’re the language of your love.

Part 3: Is it possible for Pile 1 to communicate with their soulmate right now ?

(Temperance, The Empress, King of Cups)

Temperance: The presence of temperance at the beginning of your spread is already a divine yes. This card isn’t just about balance or patience.it’s about energetic harmony, often between you and someone far away, on a different frequency, timeline, or even continent. Temperance is the angel who mixes fire and water, time and space. When this card appears in the context of soulmate communication, it means you can connect especially through subtle, spiritual means. You may be dreaming of your soulmate, thinking about them out of nowhere, or hearing songs that seem to speak directly to you. Their higher self may already be reaching for you. Temperance energy shows that you are becoming attuned to their frequency like this is listening from the universe. You might feel them most during quiet moments while brushing your teeth, sitting on a bus, or watching a bird flutter on a wire. These micro-moments of peace are the gateway to receiving their messages.

➤ Scenario Possibility: You’re sitting in your room, distracted, mind racing. Suddenly you feel a softness like someone placed a hand on your back without touching you. You pause, eyes closing. There’s a stillness. A memory of someone who’s never existed yet feels so familiar. A thought enters: “I miss you too.” That was them. That was real.

The Empress: She represents beauty, nurturing, divine femininity, and unconditional creation. Your soulmate communicates through love that is felt, not spoken and that’s how you’re both wired to connect right now through shared emotions, creative impulses, bodily sensations, and synchronicities. Your soulmate could be feeling your energy when they do things like standing in nature and suddenly feel overwhelmed with peace like smelling something sweet and familiar but unplaceable. The Empress says they are sensing you in colors, textures, and warmth. They may not know your name, but they know the frequency of your presence. You exist in their nervous system as a comfort they haven't explained. It might arrive in moments of self-soothing, or when they touch something soft a sweater, a scar, a memory.

➤ Scenario Possibility: Your soulmate is standing in front of a kitchen window, holding a mug. It’s early. They don’t know why, but the air feels dense almost like someone just whispered their name. Their chest tightens, then softens. They think of someone they don’t yet know. They wonder, Are you real? They go back to sipping their coffee, but the warmth doesn’t leave. That was you. That was communication.

King of Cups: This is the confirmation that your soulmate is ready like being emotionally mature, or becoming so. They may not have all the tools for 3D expression yet (like reaching out, writing a letter, calling), but they’re stable enough to receive you on the soul level. This card also suggests that your soulmate is grieving or processing something, but in a way that’s making space for you maybe they’ve recently ended a relationship, lost someone they loved, or simply gone through a long period of emotional drought. Now, they are becoming a safe place for themselves and for you. Their heart is slowly opening, like a fist unclenching in warm water. It’s possible they journal, make art, or stare at the moon longer than necessary. You’re already in those thoughts, those scribbles, those unfinished sentences.

“I’ve been walking toward you with all I have. These flowers are what’s left of my heart. They’re not perfect, but they’re honest. Will you take them?”

“I already have.”

🌟𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 2 :A girl wearing a pink frock, holds a bunch of tulips behind her back

The universe is already whispering "Yes". There’s something enchantingly tender and secretive about this pile. The girl in the pink frock with her tulips hidden behind her back isn’t waiting to receive love. She’s preparing to give it, but not in a loud, performative way like this is a soft offering......Vulnerable, hopeful and earnest like she’s imagining the smile on someone’s face before she even sees it.

This imagery already says a lot about you and your connection. You’re not waiting passively for love to arrive you’re already holding it in your hands, keeping it warm, trying to believe that you won’t be left hanging. You’re the kind of soul who gives first, loves silently, and hopes deeply. The question now is: Is your soulmate listening?

Part 3: Is it possible for Pile 2 to communicate with their soulmate right now ?

(Ten of Cups, Seven of Cups, The Star)

Ten of Cups: This card is the spiritual version of a shared dream. It represents not just love, but emotional fulfillment, safety, and happily ever afters. When it comes to soulmate communication, the ten of cups says you and your soulmate are dreaming of each other even if you're not fully aware. There may be mirroring happening like the way you both watch the rain fall and sigh the same sigh, or stare at the moon and imagine a soft voice saying, “I hope you’re okay.” You both long for the same emotional depth and on some quiet plane, your hearts are already in conversation.

➤ Scenario Possibility:You’re curled up under your blanket, exhausted from a long day, when you suddenly feel a bizarre warmth in your chest like someone is hugging you from the inside. You get a flash of something similar to kids laughing, a picnic, your face being held gently. It doesn't feel made up. It feels remembered. You whisper, “Who are you?” and your soul replies, “Home.”

Seven of Cups: This is the card of illusions, possibilities, and daydreams. It suggests that your soulmate may be trying to connect but their signal is fuzzy. There’s a lot of mental fog between you two, often because of doubt, fear, or even spiritual overwhelm.This card also speaks to your own confusion. You may be wondering Is this just fantasy? Am I making it up? But the message here is: even illusions have roots in truth. What you’re seeing or feeling might not be literal yet, but it is real on the energetic plane. Think of it as rehearsal....like spiritual muscle memory that’s getting you both ready.

➤ Scenario Possibility:Your soulmate sits on their bed late at night, looking through old journal pages.

The Star: This is the most powerful card in this spread. The Star is the card of divine timing, hope, soul level healing, and celestial communication. It confirms that you and your soulmate are absolutely aligned on a spiritual plane and that communication is not just possible, but blessed, but here's the thing about the Star like it's about long distance light. A star’s glow takes years to reach Earth just like soulmate communication can take time to materialize. You may feel connected, but not have tangible proof and that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. It means you're being asked to have faith in something bigger than the physical.

This card also points to energetic signs like angel numbers, song lyrics, shimmering coincidences, dreams that leave you in tears or joy. Your soulmate may send you feelings of comfort when you’re crying, or images in your mind that come out of nowhere. The Star reminds you: the bond is written in constellations and you only need to look up.

“peach-pink skies and someone’s laughter”

“You’re not alone.”

“I love you already.”

🌟𝓟𝓲𝓵𝓮 3: A girl holding a bunch of roses with a cat peeking at her

A girl stands at the edge, roses in her arms like a secret she can’t keep anymore. The petals are plush, full, flushed with emotion. They smell like longing. A small cat peeks out from behind her;cautious, curious, almost like it knows something she doesn’t. The cat watches the horizon and that's you right now.

Part 3: Is it possible for Pile 3 to communicate with their soulmate right now ?

(Two of Cups, King of Cups, Six of Swords)

Two of Cups: This card speaks of a mutual connection and in this case, that connection is already active, soul-to-soul. The Two of Cups isn’t just about romance like it’s about resonance. Like two hearts beating on different sides of the world, yet echoing the same rhythm. This means your soulmate is feeling you as you feel them.

You may hear their name randomly, see their birth month or zodiac sign (even if you don’t know them yet) and get sudden bursts of calm or butterflies without a clear reasonThe Two of Cups says the bond, it’s reciprocal. This is not one-sided yearning even if you feel alone in your experience, they’re also reaching for you, possibly in confusion or awe.

➤ Scenario Possibility:Your soulmate might be listening to music on a random Tuesday, and one lyric jumps out: “I found you in the quiet.” They pause.

King of Cups: This card confirms something deep: your soulmate isn’t emotionally blocked. In fact, they’re capable of deep, healing love and they’re already energetically open to receiving your essence. The King of Cups doesn’t rush love, but he does feel it profoundly. This person may be like dreaming of you, creating art that unconsciously and channels your presence, healing from past wounds in preparation for you. You might be surprised how emotionally sensitive they are, even if in daily life they appear reserved or composed.

➤ Scenario Possibility: A sentence spills out “I don’t know who you are, but I miss you.” He/she/they doesn’t edit it. Just stares. Feels the water rising behind his eyes. Somewhere, you feel a tug in your chest at the same time. Your cat leaps onto your lap, as if it felt it too.

Six of Swords: The six of swords is all about movement, transition, and healing through spiritual escort. It implies that while you and your soulmate may be separated physically or even emotionally confused there’s a quiet journey taking place beneath the surface.

You’re both being guided toward one another by unseen forces. Think ancestors, dreams, divine timing. The bond exists not just in emotion, but in divine orchestration. You may be seeing repeated signs (birds, boats, moon phases), dreaming of travel, water, or journeys and feeling unusually exhausted or energized without explanation

These are symptoms of energetic alignment and soul navigation. You may not be speaking in words,but your souls are sailing toward each other.

"I don’t know how to find you, but I feel like I already have. When the world grows quiet, I hear a song I’ve never heard before and I know it’s yours."

"I trust the tide. I believe in the ache. I’m not far now and when I see you, I’ll know that you were always the girl or boy with roses and I? I was always the one meant to take them.”

✦ do you want a personal reading like this?

🌸 I offer:

Celebrity Tarot Reads (K-Pop, BTS, Actors) SP Manifestation Guidance Future Love + Shadow Work Spreads Moon-Coded Letter from Your Twin Flame Channeled Audio Readings + PDF Summaries ✧ First reading? Ask for a free pull!

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📩 DMs Open: @xuexing-lumi Tumblr inbox

🖤 closing words from Lumi:

We ride or die, even through the mess. 💅 — Lumi, the Moon’s Bride 🌕💋

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(ignore):

#tarot#tarot cards#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#pick a deck#tarot pick a card#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a card#spiritual warfare#spiritual awakening#spiritual growth#spirituality#chanelling

[im-not-a-ghost]

Who Holds Your Invisible String? (PAID Tarot Reading) 3/5 are still available

Hello People !!!!

Have you ever felt that someone, somewhere, is connected to you — without words, without presence, just... a pull? This reading dives into the mystical world of soul ties, destiny, and the person whose energy silently tugs at your heart. Whether you've met them in this life or not, they hold a string that leads back to you.

✨ This reading will include the follwing questions: $35.55

❤️Who this person is energetically (traits, past-life link, their role in your journey)

💫 How they’re emotionally connected to you right now

💫 Why the two of you are tied by this invisible string

💫 What your soul is meant to learn through this connection

💫 A glimpse into whether this connection will manifest or stay spiritual for now

If you want you can add this bonus question too~~~Bonus Oracle Guidance: Messages from their higher self or the Universe ($3)

If you are interested, you can DM me.

Masterlist -Paid Readings-Paid Readings Reviews-PAC Readings

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Hey there ! Thanks for tagging me 💋 Here I go !

Favorite color: there are just so many but lately I have an obsession with lavender

Listening: UK - Made Up Your Mind & 君と僕のシーズン

Reading: Paulo Coelho ‘s Valkyries

Craving: I’m craving sushi and ice cream 🍦

Coffee or Tea: Coffee forever ☕️

Sleeping: My sleeping habits have gotten better so I’m really happy, I’ve been sleeping well lately

Place to visit: I’d like to go to Japan and also South Korea, especially to Jeju Island. I would really love to go to Greece and Egypt someday as well. Because I’m a history nerd and have a passion for mythology in general so I want to visit any place where there may be traces of past civilisations and possible myths.

I’m gonna try to tag people that haven’t been tagged already. @alaezasmystery235 @soaringwide @kiddotarot @n

Here and Now Questions

tagged by @the-funtime-autocrat

Favorite Color: pink 🌸🩷🌸 💓🌺💖🌷🪷💮

Listening: Zeki Müren- Sana Muhtacım (I can't stop listening I've been singing this all day)

Reading: A Turkish crime novel called "Beyoğlunun En Güzel Abisi"

Craving: Pizza

Coffee or Tea: Coffee ☕☕☕

Sleeping: 6-7 hours if I'm lucky, I have trouble sleeping these days.

Place to Visit: probably my aunts house which it is in another city. But I really would like to visit Kazakhstan, I have this friend there I want to see.

tagging: @iliyarambles @not-easily-conquered @straynoahide @jester-to-the-king @sayonaramisa

[im-not-a-ghost]

Little poll to decide the next PAC to be posted

[im-not-a-ghost]

what's something you should consider embracing? (pick-a-card reading)

paid services 18+ paid services tarot community ko-fi

(how to pick a card? observe the given options and choose the one which you feel the most drawn to. scroll down to read your message!! remember, this is a general reading, so take what resonates! (ps.- if you feel drawn to more than one card/image/pile, feel free to read the others too!! if the chosen pile doesn't relate to you, feel free to choose another. the choice is yours<3)

⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ pile I ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧

ᝰ.ᐟ my love, i’m seeing here that you are afraid of opening up and letting people see you. you have a hard time trusting others and this has been affecting your relationships (platonic as well as romantic). you should consider embracing your lover girl/boy side and be unapologetically you!! don’t hesitate to connect with other people and build intimate relationships with them - “intimate” here means deep emotional connections. create strong bonds, as they will provide you with security and fulfilment.

ᝰ.ᐟ you should embrace your belief in oneself and you should embrace your instinct’s. trust yourself and know that the power is in your hands. make wise decisions and do not doubt your capabilities. your decisions will lead to long-term success and it will be your strength.

ᝰ.ᐟ you need to embrace reality and accept things for the way it is. once you’ve realised that some things can’t change and once you are real with yourself, go towards what feels right and do what satisfies your soul - instead of holding onto things that cannot change.

ᝰ.ᐟ babe, you need to let go of things that no longer serve you right and release yourself from this torment. embrace the balance of life, but that will only happen if you let go of your blocks. the past is in the past.

ᝰ.ᐟ embrace transformation and change. this will help you adapt more and will give you a sense of “renewal” - where you can start over and learn from your mistakes. sometimes we need to learn things the hard way in order to accept new blessings.

ᝰ.ᐟ embrace the challenges of life as it will help you build your tolerance and through these challenges, you will learn a lot. you will gain tranquility and peace - within yourself as well as towards others.

⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ pile II ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧

ᝰ.ᐟ you should embrace your success and your talents, love. i have a feeling you’re afraid of being seen as someone who is “self-centered”, but you truly are gifted. you’re a natural hard-worker and success seems to flow to you with ease, so why push it away? the more you resent, the more it’ll be difficult for this energy to flow towards you in the future - so it’s better to embrace it now. your creativity is flourishing, so allow yourself to embrace the new ideas and the perspectives.

ᝰ.ᐟ i’m seeing here that there is going to be major changes in your life - let it be in your work, relationships or your personal development. embrace this new direction and go with the flow.

ᝰ.ᐟ you’ve been so hard on yourself love, and i need you to take a break. make time for self-love and just breathe. it’s fine to embrace the love you deserve, there’s nothing wrong in it. once you’re easy on yourself, positive things will naturally flow to you. but do not run away when the good energy knocks at your door because you are deserving of it and you should embrace it - instead of feeling like you are not worthy of it. you are, in fact, worthy of all the positive blessings that are coming your way. so don’t be so harsh on yourself, love.

ᝰ.ᐟ see the bigger picture and embrace your blessings. you will shine and do not doubt yourself. you are your biggest supporter, so be there for yourself.

ᝰ.ᐟ embrace discipline in your life and you will soon notice the positive results. people will notice your daring and graceful ways, and they will look up at you as an inspiration. i’m seeing here that you will be a “guru” to many, and they will trust your intuition and will look at you as their leader.

ᝰ.ᐟ it’s okay to be kind and generous towards yourself. it doesn’t make you selfish, it doesn’t make you prideful. the day you change your perception towards oneself, you’ll learn to embrace yourself for the way you are.

⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ pile III ⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧

ᝰ.ᐟ you need to embrace communication, love. i’m seeing here that you tend to close off your feelings and your emotions because you’re scared of getting in conflict with others and sometimes you might even become very defensive - but all this can be avoided if you’re honest and open about how you feel. there’s nothing wrong with expressing your emotions, but do it the right way. conflict is inevitable babe, but through honest communication, you can find a way to resolve issues and strengthen your relationship - with yourself as well as with others.

ᝰ.ᐟ you need to embrace self-love and healing. forgive yourself for your past mistakes and rediscover yourself. you need to stop comparing yourself with others and embrace your true self, love. you’re unique and beautiful in your own way, and that is what makes you stand out. i’m seeing here that you have still not healed from your past emotional wounds and this could be because people have always treated you badly and you had a hard time fitting in - but that’s what makes you different babe. you don’t need to fit in, because you’re born to stand out. embrace that bad bi*ch energy of yours and thrive!!! i’m so rooting for you<3

ᝰ.ᐟ you need to relax a bit and trust the universe. embrace the blessings of the universe, babe. the progress might feel slow, but the blessings are sure!!

ᝰ.ᐟ i’m seeing here that there is a lot of tension and stress in your life right now, and i want you to breathe through this hard time love. talk less and feel more - do not drain your energy. some things/people are energy suckers and they don’t want to see you flourish. you know your worth and i want you to stick to it. embrace the positive energy and block out all the negative energy, babe.

ᝰ.ᐟ embrace the sweetness of life and discover your true self. be cheerful and know that all your manifestations are coming true. do not tell people about your goals/plans, as they will try to steal your spotlight and steal your manifestations so that they can be you.

ᝰ.ᐟ change the perception you have towards oneself and know that you are courageous and strong. embrace your willpower and know that you have the passion and strength to overcome anything. you have the courage to face the darkness within you.

hiii loves, i hope this reading finds you in good health, and i hope you are doing well. i’ve been so burnt out recently and it’s been hard for me - but i’m trying to stay motivated. this reading is shorter compared to my other readings, but hopefully my next reading will be more in-depth. since my energy is a little low, i’ve used my oracle cards for this pac & heavily relied on my intuition, which is so new to me because i always use oracle and tarot together - but i guess i’m just trying something new😅. i would be so glad if you could like my post and re-blog it, and please let me know which pile you picked - i would love to hear your thoughts and know if this reading resonated with you!! take care of yourself, and i will see you in my next reading. thank you for being here<3

ps - thank you so much to the lovely person who gave me the idea of doing this reading!! i truly appreciate you taking the time out of your day and letting me know which reading you preferred🥰❤️

(note - tarot & oracle cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, feelings and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!)

જ⁀➴ all credit for the pictures/dividers goes to their rightful owners and creators

[im-not-a-ghost]

Chronicles of a reader - Getting (self) diagnosed

I started working on my mental health with a psychologist since September 2024 if I remember correctly. At the time, I was working as a primary school teacher. I already had done a year in this position, which went horribly and really affected my health. So because of that and other reasons, I finally had the courage to ask for help.

Among the various things we talked about, I shared with her my musings about me potentially struggling with Autism Spectrum Disorders and/or Attention Defficit Disorder (with or without Hyperactivity). The main reason why I was wondering whether I was concerned by those disorders was because working with young children who were officially diagnosed, I had the impression of seeing a clone of myself as a child. And some behaviors were still up to date at the time.

If you may or may not know, both of these disorders have common symptoms and it is sometimes difficult to assess which of the two is at play. The other thing is, in many cases, both disorders can be diagnosed for the same individual. Another important thing is that many people who were born and identify themselves as women tend to get diagnosed very late in their life because A) they are not taken seriously (as for many other subjects unfortunately) B) many studies and tests do not take them into account C) many tend to mask their symptoms a lot and are not even aware of it, so it can be very tricky to diagnose them D) certain symptoms are only specific to them and may be minimised or considered as "typical" behavior (example : drastic mood swings being considered as being hysteric or just acting childish or being due to hormones ...)

In my case, I always struggled a lot with making friends and entertaining connections with people. I was very mature very quickly and could speak very well. But I was very "clumsy", I had no sense of orientation what so ever (and still don't have), had a hard time making visual representations of things, had a hard time keeping my balance or analyzing distances so I would always bump into things or fall. Which lead to my teacher believing my parents were abusing me physically, which never happened. I struggled with understanding or guessing people's intentions towards me, especially romantically wise. I could have someone in my surroundings that was interested in me but think they were not only to realize too late that they in fact were. But I could also somehow be convinced that a person did like me when in fact they were just being friendly or downright manipulated me.

My notions of limits were blurry. I was always very blunt and often times told that I was cold, ruthless or mean, when I didn't think I was and knew deep down in my heart I wasn't. I ended up believing that I was scary and I would never be loved because of that. Which created a vicious cycle of me being defensive in the presence of people, which gave them the impression I was unfriendly and triggered them. So the were being unfriendly towards me in return and so on. I also had a hard time with jokes and was often told I had a bad sense of humour. And every time I made jokes I was told my humour was weird. I had a hard time figuring out the so called social cues, like knowing when it is my turn to speak.

Because of that, I struggled most of my life emotionally and ended up trying to be someone that I wasn't most of my life to try to fit in, without really succeeding. I felt very bad about myself, I was constantly exhausted and on high alert. I was constantly overthinking and struggling with depression, without being able to tell anyone or ask for help because I was too afraid to do so. I was convinced people wouldn't believe me. And also because a part of me believed I didn't deserve to be helped.

With time, as I learned more about such disorders (since I was hired as a teacher I had no choice but to make research if I wanted to do my job properly), I kinda self diagnosed myself. But a self diagnosis isn't always reliable, so I figured I had to get a professional opinion on the matter. After several discussions, my psychologist made me take two assessments. One of 50 questions and another of 80 (which can be found on the Internet and I had already taken online), to assess whether it would be useful to go through an ASD diagnosis with a psychiatrist.

Without any surprise, I scored way higher than the average for both tests. And thus got into contact by May 2025 with a psychiatrist. You get it, it took 9 months for me to be able to get into contact with an actual qualified professional. Meeting the psychiatrist for the first time, I was told at the end of our discussion that getting an ASD assessment didn't seem to be the priority. In the meantime, my psychologist transfered all her observations and notes to my psychiatrist. And at our next meeting (beginning of June), she told me she would make me go through other tests and asked which ones I had already done. To this day, I am still not officially diagnosed. The "least" of the things I was diagnosed with was generalized anxiety disorder. And I have been taking a treatment for that since February 2025. At our next meeting, we're supposed to go through the first of probably many supplementary tests, that probably all have the same kind of tasteless robotically phrased affirmations that have no freaking meaning whatsoever because they are so freaking ellusive and too weirdly phrased for my messed up brain cells. Tests which will probably take me another couple of months each to go through because of course each meeting only lasts about half an hour. Which I pay for 87 euros, each time.

Luckily for me, I live in a country with a strong health care system that allows me to cover those expenses. Imagine another woman, in another country going through the same struggles. That woman may have a hell of a time finding a professional because they probably aren't many where she lives. May also have a hard time paying for the sessions because she can't afford it. Probably to be told that she is imagining things or that she's faking it, when she knows damn well that she isn't.

And that fucking pisses me off.

[im-not-a-ghost]

UK live extract 2025.06.09

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[im-not-a-ghost]

UK insta live extract 2025.06.09

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Extract of last Monday's live. My appologies for any translation mistakes in the subtitles.

[im-not-a-ghost]

UK insta live extract 2025.06.09

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My appologies for any translation mistake.