im-permanently-damaged - Tumblr blog

[im-permanently-damaged]

they should invent a way that makes suicide fucking easy

[im-permanently-damaged]

I just wanna stop. Stop living. Stop breathing. And pls Stop thinking. I just need everything to stop.

[im-permanently-damaged]

3.1.24

Birthdays.

A day that should be spent full of joy, surrounded by friends and family.

I spend it alone.

Forgotten.

I wish I was just a distant memory. I wish I was dead. No more birthdays. No more anything. Maybe peace. Maybe punishment. Do I even care anymore?

I don’t want to be alone. Why is it so hard to reach out? Why do i feel a tightness in my chest whenever I think about telling her about how much I hate myself? Why do I hesitate?

You know why. 

You’ll be a burden. More of a burden than you already are. You’ll ruin her day. You’ll make her hate you. Don’t annoy her. Don’t annoy anyone. 

It’s your birthday. Who the fuck cares. You’re nothing. You deserve nothing. Be grateful she at least sent you a fucking birthday text. It’s more than you deserve.

It’s your party, cry if you want to. Cry, while no one is around. 

Got it all out of your system? Doesn’t matter. Put the mask back on. Don’t let anyone see your pathetic display.

Happy Birthday.

I hope its your last.

[im-permanently-damaged]

[im-permanently-damaged]

don’t ask me if I’m okay.

don’t ask me what’s wrong.

I already told you. over and over.

Don’t make me be vunreable in front of you and then let me drown in the darkness alone again.

[im-permanently-damaged]

No, you don't understand how it feels to wish for death while blowing out the candles on your birthday cake

[im-permanently-damaged]

[im-permanently-damaged]

Susan Abulhawa, from Against the Loveless World: A Novel

[Text ID: “I wanted to be chosen, maybe loved. I wanted out of my life, out of my skin,”]

[im-permanently-damaged]

I swear I'm so tired. Deep down I just wanna sit and watch me fade away

[im-permanently-damaged]

[im-permanently-damaged]

I wish I could sleep through my whole life and never wake up.

[im-permanently-damaged]

[im-permanently-damaged]

If one day I didn't wake up? If one day I didn't answer back, would someone even miss me?

[im-permanently-damaged]

just because i smiled doesn’t mean i got better

[im-permanently-damaged]

i just want it all to end man

[im-permanently-damaged]

If the rest of my life is like this I’m gonna be honest… I will definitely be killing myself at some point

[im-permanently-damaged]

i can't get over the fact that i feel like everyone hates me