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Hi everyone...any ideas you want me to turn into a story? Any requests?
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Oh god...Is there anyone still here? Does anybody still read this blog?
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I'll be there
Anon asked: Hi! If it's not too much trouble, could you do an imagine of how you think Tom would react if he found out his loved one had a chronic illness?
~Omg this took me like half a year or even more to publish but here it is, finally. I'm so sooo sorry it took me this long. I sincerely hope you'll enjoy it tho. And sorry again!~
Having control over something is having power. When I play my guitar on stage and I'm able to hit all the right notes, that's power. When I lift my arms in the air and all the fans scream at the beat of my music, that's power. I've always felt "powerful" in some way, at work, with girls, even with Bill. But when I opened that envelop and read what was inside it, that was the first time I've ever felt powerless. That was the final answer to our long hopeful search and it was all I had feared and there was nothing I could do about it. I didn't have control over it, I was absolutely powerless.
You came back home, as usual, at 6pm. You placed your keys on the small table beside the door and immediately saw Tom's stuff laying on the floor. "That's odd" he never left his things scattered across the entrance hall.
You picked them up and called for him, the house was all silence.
"Tom?...I'm home" nothing "Tom?"
You looked for him in the leaving room, his studio, the kitchen, bathroom but you couldn't find him. You went upstairs but when you were about to open the master bedroom door you heard his voice. Something was not right.
"Ask him, please. Ask him again, I need to be sure!" He was definitely talking over the phone with someone and was also definitely pissed about something.
"I'll wait, yes." ....a long silence passed. You dared not move or make your presence known to him. You heard him walk through the room with an impatient pase. You saw his shadow coming and going. By the way he walked you already knew something was wrong. His behavior suddenly made you feel unease and eventually, as nervous as he was. And then finally his voice broke the silence.
"Yes, I'm still here. They'll me, what did the doctor said." That was the moment when your heart sank. It sank to the profundities of your guts. You felt the tips of your finger getting cold, your chest hurt. You knew what all this was about. Your exams.
"No....it can't be....there, there must be a mistake." You heard Tom's body heavily landing in the bed, defeated. "We had so much hope. The doctor said it was very rare at her age. I...I told her everything would be alright..." his voice had suddenly changed. I was not filled with desperation but it was rather empty. All the hope that had filled his words till now had felt him and an audible sadness was evident in his weak voice. He started saying small words, small sentences as if in confession.
You didn't need know anything else now, neither to read the results that were most likely written in the cold white paper Tom was squeezing in this hands. You knew. The exams had turned positive and your life was turned upside down, everything was now transformed.
This sudden realization froze you right at the spot. You limbs stoped moving, you could not feel them. Your hand bag suddenly fell on the floor and with it all the dreams you had for your future. Everything had changed in a few insignificant seconds.
I was still on the phone when I heard a noise outside the bedroom door, it was her. I immediately hang up and almost ran to the door. There she was. By the empty look on her face I knew she had listen to everything. I immediately tried to build up a courage I did not have in me at the moment. I could not look weak before her. I had to be her fixed point, I had to give her the support she needed, the strength inside this storm that was falling upon us. I had to.
"Tom..." she whispered with a small voice, she was broken, I could see it.
I grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a smile, how else could I confort her? "Shh...come here." I walked with her in my arms to the bed were she sat in silence. She seemed lost and I had to get her out of that place she was falling in to.
Something warm wrapped your dead fingers. And that warmth brought you back to life, it filled your then cooled body. That beautiful warmth were Tom's hands.
He kneeled in front of you and gently caressed your cheek, locked your hair behind your ear and said beautiful comforting words.
"We'll be ok" his eyes never left yours. "You'll see, everything will be ok"
"How do you know?" You didn't want to show too much weakness in front of him but you were broken inside. And through the recently opens cracks it started to pour quiet and bitter tears. "You don't know that Tom."
He stayed silent, kneeling in front of you. As you talked, you felt his grip tightening around your hands.
"How can you say everything will be ok when we don't even know how bad this chronic illness is?" Your eyes became red, red with fear, anger, denial. "I...I'm so scared Tom...so scared"
A smile had formed on Tom's lips. It was a weak smile, his eyes were full of tears too and the most tender look was illuminating his face.
"I'm scared too you know." He said, you were surprised to hear his voice had turned weak and shaky "I'm terrified but I can't yield to that feeling. I know we will be ok, you will be ok because you will be with me."
Your heart stoped. Your tears stoped flowing through your pale face. What did he mean by that?
"I know that if we are together we will overcome this. If you're with me, I will take care of you and I will do my best to support you through this. You will not walk alone, I'll be there." Tom reached to your cheek and dried your tears with his gentle long fingers. "So that's how I know you'll be ok my love, I'll be here."
At last, what had seemed like a hopeless lonely and hard test, one you would have to bear by yourself, transformed into something else. Your pain was his too, your fear he understood it, and the light at the end of this difficult path before you came from him and him only.
Tom hugged you and by wrapping you in his protective arms he gave you back the strength you were minutes ago so ready to let slip away through your trembling fingers. Now you understood that with him by your side there was nothing you could not do.
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Hi! If it's not too much trouble, could you do an imagine of how you think Tom would react if he found out his loved one had a chronic illness?
Sure, let me think what I can come up with ^^
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Imagine:
He had been missing for so long you were beginning to think you had forgotten how he looked. But now that Tom was finally standing in front of you, you realized you hadn't forgotten. You could remember everything yet, he looked so different. Nothing was the same in him. His eyes, nose, lips, hands, chest, legs, they were the same and yet he was someone else completely.
You reached your hand to his cheek and it was cold. Your heart froze immediately as he gave a step towards you and smiled. He was not the same Tom you had know, and you knew that because on his back, on his shoulder blades, two immense and immaculate white wings had grown.
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Imagine:
Slowly waking up to a faint rain falling outside your window. Wrapped in the white sheets is Tom, deeply sleep still. You turn your head and stare at him for a few long minutes. His hair is all messed up and his cheeks are a light pink color.
"Stop it" he suddenly says, starteling you. "Stop staring Y/N". A gentle smile crosses his lips as you playfully lean forward to kiss them.
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The Shore
The sea, the closest thing we have to the infinite. Its sound, its smell, its always-changing texture and shape, it all allures us to dive in to it and be carried away, never to get back to shore.
You awoke to the sound of the soft waves caressing the sand. They died at your feet, always to be replaced by others, sparkling and gentle. A bloody orange horizon stretched at the end of the sea. The shore, a never before seen shore where the day was dying. For some reason you got the feeling that the sun had been setting for a very long time there.
You slowly sat and your hands sank in the wet sand. You felt your fingers cold even though the spring breeze was warm. You felt terribly light and, suddenly, alone. The silent shore stretched forever to the left and to the right, but not too far from were you seemed to have been placed, a dark figure stood looking into the sea.
You got up realizing the feeling of loneliness had not disappeared even after noticing him. You were the only ones on that shore but each of you seamed to have your own purpose there.
You hesitated for a moment, should you walk over to him? Should you talk to him? Who was he? Why were you there and why was he there with you? Nothing made sense as you started to think about your current situation. But the silence was so, the peace was so overwhelming that you understood, somehow, that nothing needed to make sense in that place, on that perfect shore. His eyes lost in the horizon, his motionless body now made sense, nothing needed to be done, to be thought in that place. The clear water covered his feet and the waves seamed to lovingly embrace his ankles every time they came rushing toward the golden sand. The water gently pulled back trying to take him with it, to its depth, pulling him to take him beyond the cloudy red horizon. But he didn’t move. As you approached him you noticed a peaceful look in his eyes and maybe a hidden smile in the corner of his mouth. His breathing was almost imperceptible, so slow that you had the impression he was beginning to fade with the warm light of the sunset. A stronger breeze would have taken him away with it, in small pieces to be scattered on the surface of the blue sea.
You were a few meters away from him when you placed your hand on your chest, you could not feel your heartbeat. That smile, the one that had been hidden in his mouth finally appeared.
– I know, I can’t feel mine either. – His voice was as otherworldly as his presence. It too was take along with the wind.
A tear ran down your pale face. It didn’t feel warm to the touch. You were crying but you were not sad. The truth about this place had hit you suddenly but it didn’t mad you sad, not scared, it simply was what it was.
– Who are you? – You dared not approached him now.
– I don’t know – he said almost in a whisper. His eyes were still on the horizon.
– What do you mean you don’t know? – How could he not know that?
– I mean I don’t remember. – He finally looked at you, half of his face light by the red sun, the other already submerged in the upcoming darkness of the night. – Do you remember who you are?
His words were clear and loud this time, this one time. The sound of the sea stopped reaching your ears for a short moment as you realized you could not remember who you were.
– I…I can’t… – You were short of breath and looked for an answer in his gentle eyes.
– Don’t worry. – He answered smiling – We don’t need to know that anymore.
The clear sky had now turned to a darker shad of red and on one side it was beginning to turn blueish, tainting the red and combining both in a sad distant purple.
– But I know I’ve been waiting for you. – His words startled you once more
– Me? Do we…
– No, we don’t know each other. We never did in fact.
– How do you know you’ve been waiting for me then?
– Because when I found you on the shore the sea calmed down and it became this peaceful mirror you see now. Before finding you, a storm was about to break, or at least that was my impression.
He finally moved and gave a step towards you, grabbing your hand in his. A sweetness you hadn’t felt before flowed from his cold hand to yours.
– I think we were supposed to meet here, don’t you think? At the end of all things.
– I…I don’t know, I don’t understand what is happening. – An overwhelming feeling of incertitude came over you like a sudden cold current among warm water.
– Of course you understand. You know what I’m talking about.
You pulled back and left his loving hand empty, the sand under your feet felt like quicksand for a horrible moment. You denied his words with a shake of your head to which he responded with a light smile. He turned his brown eyes to the horizon one more time.
– When the sun sets all this will be finished. You and I will be free.
– Stop it, please! – The incertitude you had felt before started to transform into fear, actual fear. The wet sand that had felt so smooth under your feet was now swallowing you, threatening to drag you to an underworld you knew it was impossible to get out. Your hands started to sweat and your throat to close.
– Take it! – He said extending his arm towards you. You desperately reached to it and you felt him pulling you out of that momentary despair.
You collapsed on the sand and the sea breeze helped you calm down. You closed your eyes and felt him kneeling beside you. Then, a strange sensation made you open your eyes. He was caressing your cheek and for the first time since you woke on that shore, you were able to feel warmth. Instinctively you grabbed his hand and pressed it more against your face.
– Don’t try to deny it, it’s pointless. – His voice, it sounded and felt so familiar. Yet, even if you didn’t remember who you were, you were absolutely sure you had never met him before.
– Why? Why do you feel so familiar to me? – He tilted his head lightly to the left, his fingers moved under your own, still pressing his hand against your cheek.
Calmly, he got up as he held you in his arms. You then realized there were only a few minutes left of the sunset.
– I think we will meet on the other side of the horizon. – He finally let go of you and stepped into the sea. The waves were gentle as ever, almost quiet, almost gone. – I’ll lead the way, ok?
He gave you a smile and turned around. The last rays of sun lined the silhouette of his back as the lower part of his body slowly disappeared in the now dark waters.
You though he was about to plunge into the sea but he stopped and half turned, his eyes were not looking directly at you but you knew he could see you. His profile against the dim light on the sky look as if starting to become part of another dimension, another time.
– Will you promise me something, before we disappear?
– Yes
– Would you please find me in this other life?
His eyes found you at last, shaking everything left inside you. What you had been denying before became clear and you finally accepted it. All he had said, you had known all along.
– I will. – You answered with a strange pain in your chest and a few tears blurring your sight. – And you, will you look for me too?
His last smile engraved itself in your memory. And it stayed there as the first experience of the new being you were begging to acquire with the death of this beautiful sunset.
– I’ll do nothing else. – A few locks of his long brown hair came undone form his bun and the sea started to claim him. – I’ll find you, I promise.
A strong wave came rushing towards you both and knock you down. You swam back to the surface only to find yourself alone on that now dark shore. The sun had already disappeared under the sea and a gentle current of air behind your back told you it was now your turn. The waves wrapped around your ankles, your legs, your waist, your back, your head. Everything became dark, quiet, still. You felt yourself sinking as if under your feet it would soon open up a new shore with a new dawn filled with the promise he had made you with his last words.
I will find you.
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Hello everyone
I hope you are doing fine. I haven’t posted anything because i had no story that inspired me enough but I finally found it and I will publish it in a few hours. I hope you’ll enjoy it and find it interesting.
(The story is obviously with Tom, even if I don’t mention his name. You’ll see)
Kiss Kiss
B-
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Hey guys ^~^ did you like "Stay with me"? Let me know your thoughts.
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Stay with me (part 3, final)
Bill: Tom, I’m not an expert on this topic.
Bill: I’ve never experienced THAT kind of love
Bill: But I remember the way she used to talk about you…
Bill: And I remember thinking how lucky you are to have someone talk about you like that
Georg: Like she was happy?
Bill: Yes, exactly Georg!
Bill: I don’t know how to describe it
Georg: Her face used to light up, and she’d be smiling and her cheeks would be a little pink
Bill: I think
Bill: Tom, I think she loves you
Georg: Yeah…she kept looking for you on her wedding day…
Georg: And even before, I saw her crying a bit… ;;;;
Tom: …?
Tom: she is married, it doesn’t matter now
Georg: it still matters Tom
Bill: Remember when we went to her birthday party?
Bill: The way Tom looked at her…
Georg: Is exactly how she looks at him.
Bill: …
Bill: she never looks at her husband that way.
Tom: …
Tom: I don’t know…
TOM IS OFF LINE
Meanwhile you can’t stop remembering his face on your wedding day
That dance…
His goodbye
Bill assures you that he’s okay, but he refuses to give away his location
“Give him time, give him space”
But you’re starting to give up
Maybe this is for the best
As for Tom, Bill was right
“I have things to figure out before I see her again”
He needed to make everything right,
So that when he sees you…
…he can tell you how much you mattered to him.
Weeks roll by,
A month.
Finally, it was time for Gustav’s birthday
He decided to send Bill and Georg to Tom’s house.
He had been avoiding everyone since your wedding day.
He had gone to practice and dealt with his job like a robot,
Home - work, work – home
That was all.
When his friends arrive and insist on taking him to the party, Tom can’t help but feel a pang of regret and a tiny surge of hope,
Will you be there...?
He could no longer ignore his friends so he indulges them.
He shakes his head as they drive to the party.
Tom gets out and grabs his gift for Gustav, entering the apartment building.
As he enters the apartment everyone is happy to finally see him.
But all he can do is look around in search for you.
He feels defeated, the glimmer of hope vanishing,
You’re not there.
Of course, Tom puts on a smile and joins the group, greeting Gustav, catching up with him and fooling around with Georg.
Everyone is having fun as Tom and Gustav talk calmly,
And of course you come up in the conversation.
As if out of instinct, Tom asks Gustav if he had heard anything from you,
He knew you and him got along very well.
His heart stops when Gustav’s smile fades and he looks to the floor.
Thinking something had happened to you, Tom asks again, eagerly.
Gustav had no option but to tell him
Now he has to tell him against your wishes
You and your husband had gotten a divorce
“Apparently the relationship was a failure since the start but she didn’t give me much details”
A failure?
Could that mean…? Was this the opportunity Tom had been waiting for so long?
And then Bill lets out a loud cry:
“Ladies and gentlemen! It’s almost time! Time to grant wishes!!!”
“Don’t you mean open gifts, Bill?” says Gustav with a big smile.
Bill laughs, “Today, birthday boy, its your turn to get your wishes granted~!”
As harsh as it sounded, Gustav’s words had filled Tom’s heart with hope.
Ignoring everyone around him, Tom gets up and storms out of the living room, the apartment.
He grabs Bill’s keys and drives off as everyone else scream at him
“Tom?! Tom come back!”
“Where the hell are you going?!”
“What is he doing?”
Tom parks near your place and runes to your door.
He runs as fast as he can, feeling as though he’s flying
There’s a smile on his face, and it’s really ironic, considering the events of the last half hour.
But he feels as though a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders
He reaches the door to your apartment and he slams his fist against the door, the emotions inside him all tangled together, and he isn’t sure what to do with so much energy
You’re startled, of course.
Who would be banging on your door this late?
You leave the wine cup on the table and look at the time on your phone
11:43 pm, 5 missed calls from him…Tom.
You’re suddenly cold and nervous
The knocks on your door keep getting more insistent and loud
Despite your heart sinking in fear, you rise unsteadily to your feet
You weren’t ready to face the truth
That he had probably moved on
That he had found out about your divorce and wanted to be a good friend to you
But you didn’t need him…at least not as a friend…
What is he doing here, after disappearing for almost two months?
Why now?
You reach the door and take a deep breath.
You hesitantly open it, making sure to keep the chain lock in place
What you see makes your eyes widen
Tom has his hands on his knees, panting heavily
Like he ran to your apartment
“Tom?”
He raises his big round eyes to meet your concerned gaze and a smile breaks across his face
“I’ve been trying to reach you,” he says, walking towards the door
“Can I come in?”
No
I let you into my life, into my heart
And I’ve never felt this much pain
I love you, Tom
But…if I let you in again…I’m scared I’ll drown…
And you won’t be there to save me
You shake your head
“Go home, Tom.”
“No, please—”
“Tom…we can’t keep doing this to each other.”
His heart is gripped in fear
Is…is it too late? Is he too late?
“You have your own future ahead of you,” you tell him, tears pooling in your eyes
“I’m fine, really. So don’t worry and go. We…we need to be honest, Tom,” you whisper, looking away from him
You can’t stand looking at his face right now
Maybe you’re tired of the lies, the subtle actions, the hidden meanings behind his words,
Tired of him never taking that step forward to you
But you understand him
If he didn’t loved you, you could never make him love you
And you were done hoping
At least that was what you were trying to do.
But suddenly and against your will, the words start spilling from your lips
Maybe it’s the wine
“I…I can’t keep denying this…this unspoken feeling.”
“I think I’m going insane.”
“Because the way you look at me…makes me think you care.”
“But never more than just as a friend.”
“And that’s not fair, because I really really like you, Tom. As more than a friend.”
You choke on a sob and don’t even realize you’re crying
“And I want you to be happy! The happiest man in the world! Because you deserve it. You deserve it, Tomi.”
“Even if it’s not with me. I want you to be really happy.”
“But I can’t stay beside you and be happy for you like this. It…it really sucks.”
You reach up to wipe the tears from your face but you feel warm fingers on your cheeks and you gasp
You look up and see Tom, half of his arm poking through the small gap between your door and the doorframe.
He gently wipes away your tears
A sad smile on his face
“I love you.”
You must have stopped breathing then. His deep voice resonates inside you
“I’ve loved you for a while now.”
“…I would have, tried to move on after your wedding but...”
“But I didn’t. I don’t.”
“Because I’m in love with you.”
“I’m in-love with you”
You bring your hand over his and stroke it gently
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry it took me this long to run to your side.”
He chuckles
I’d rather say this in front of you though. Will you…will you still let me in?”
You bite your lip
You’re scared
You’re hurt
…but your fingers reach for the lock
Tom gives your a brief smile before he pulls back his arm and steps back as you close the door and slide the lock away.
The door opens immediately, he pulls you into his arms and he crushes his lips against yours
His kiss is urgent
Passionate
As though he’s trying to make up for months of not being able to kiss you
Pulling away and leaning his forehead against yours, he says your name in a deep voice
“I love you,” he whispers, planting a kiss on the corner of your lips
“I love you.”
A kiss on your cheek
“I love you.”
A kiss on your cheekbone
“I love you so much.”
A kiss on your nose
“Tom,” you breathe
“I’ve been holding back for so long. I’ve been wanting to tell you about my feelings…and now I can. I…want to love you.” His whisper feels harm on your skin
“And I want to be loved by you too.”
“I’ve been imprisoning my despair and loneliness for so long”
“I’ve always been alone”
“People merely see my fame…They never looked past that”
“I thought I could live without emotions, I thought my success would be enough to fill the aching void inside me…”
“But you’ve changed me”
“You loved me —not ‘Tokio Hotel Tom’. You loved the man underneath the makeup and the concerts”
“I was such a fool for letting you go…I’ve wasted so much time, my love…”
“But I’m here now”
A painful fire in your chest starts to burn you inside
You’re barely holding the tears flooding your eyes
“Forgive me for being late…but I’m here now”
“Please, give me a chance to prove my love to you”
“I must admit, I will make mistakes…I am still learning about love…Yet right now, I am as vulnerable as I can be…”
“I want you to know I love you…”
“What is the point of working hard when I cannot have you standing beside me?”
“Yes, it will be a difficult road ahead…for us both. I’m sorry for causing such pain and hardships upon you…”
“But I do not wish to please anybody else anymore”
“Because this heart” he says placing your hand on his chest, his own hand wrapping yours
“Belongs to the only woman whom I’ve loved unconditionally”
“I wish to dedicate the rest of my life to you”
You manage to pull out a smile and stroke his cheek
Yours are already tainted with tears but you haven’t noticed, you can only see him
You see the sincerity burning behind his direct gaze, and you know
This is Tom Kaulitz—your Tom Kaulitz.
The man you have loved since the beginning,
The man you loved despite all heartache,
The man you could not stop thinking about all those weeks,
The man who captivated you,
The man you cherish.
He is your knight
And finally, you’re here,
In his arms
Where you belong
“I love you, Tom. I always have,” you whisper
“I made a mistake by trying to walk away from you but I’m finally here with you and I’m yours”
It was always yours
A wide grin graces his features, the first smile he has crack since your dance at your wedding
“It was always you. Always. I love you.” He says with a gentle smile on his small lips.
And absolutely sure of himself, of his feelings and future, he pulls you close and meets your lips
The silence of your apartment is the only witness to that kiss
“This isn’t a dream, right?” you ask softly laughing
He laughs with you
“Meine liebe…this isn’t a dream.”
He presses you against his chest and gives you a smirk. Oh he is so happy and proud of finally having you
Finally
Everything is right
“It was always you”
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Enjoying "Stay with me"? Part 3 coming up today ^^
(Thanks for reading it you guys!)
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Stay with me (part 2)
(your pov)
“No, I want you to keep looking.”
“I don’t care if you’ve looked there. Look again.”
You sigh and place your phone on the table, hiding your face in your hands.
Where are you Tom?
You could feel your emotions threatening to overwhelm you.
You tried looking for him after your wedding,
Tried calling him the moment you got into the car that would take you and your husband to the airport.
You couldn’t stay still in the airplane and you would have cancelled the honeymoon but your husband started to complain:
“Tom again? Don’t you think you’re overreacting? He may have gone home with the other guys! He might be doing God knows what with some girl he met at the reception!”
“Stop focusing on him and focus on us now!”
“How can you be talking of another man, specially him, when I am right in front of you?!”
Your husband had never been violent but the day you married him, everything changed,
He changed.
He grabbed you by the arm and dragged you to your hotel room.
For the first time ever you were scared and angry with him.
He was not the guy you thought he was.
Never in all your life had you wanted to yell at a person as much as you did that moment.
But you held your tongue,
Because he was right.
You chose to marry him.
Your husband was you’re long time friend and you understood each other just fine.
You never loved him or felt anything particularly special for him.
So when he proposed you thought it wouldn’t be too bad to spend your life with a friend.
How mistaken you were.
You never told anyone because you didn’t want them to worry.
And you never told Tom either because you knew he would protest.
He would want you to marry for love,
But he didn’t love you and that was the thing.
When you told Tom you were engaged, he simply hugged you and congratulated you.
He was always like that, happy for you but never anything more than that.
You were expecting for him to say something, to take that first step,
But deep down in your heart you knew Tom never loved you,
Not like you loved him.
He never said anything to you and that broke your heart.
So you chose to move on because you knew he could never love you the way you love him.
Tom could never love you, period.
He only saw you as a friend,
And you were fine with that,
Really, you were.
Who the hell were you kidding?
You still loved him,
You will always love him.
But where are you, Tom?
Where did you go?
Please, don’t leave me
Come back…
You grip your hair in you hands as you recalled that dance at your wedding.
It was the happiest you’ve ever been in you’re entire life,
And the saddest,
Because you got to hold him and be held in his arms.
But you also knew it would be the last time you would be able to hold him like that.
And when you saw the way he looked at you,
The way he kissed your cheek,
His sad smile…
You couldn’t explain the dread that settled in your stomach.
He didn’t want to let you go,
And neither did you.
You tried reaching for him
But when you looked back, he was gone.
Now it’s been a week since you last saw him.
You actually cut your honeymoon short when Gustav told you they hadn't heard from him since the wedding.
You didn’t care that your husband suspected Tom was the reason.
You were actually relieved (and your husband too) to come home sooner
Because you hadn't stopped fighting since the honeymoon started.
So you both came back from Hawaii and started your everyday routines as soon as possible.
You wanted to be with each other the least amount of time during the day.
But it’s been 4 days since you came back and still no word from Tom
Even Bill was avoiding you,
And you knew he knows Tom’s location
Where are you Tom?
Please, come back
I was a fool to think I could ever live without you by my side
I, singlehanded ruined my life
I was a fool for not haveing fought for us
I could have made you happy
I could have been happy
I just want you back
I need you
Please…
Please
Come home, Tom...please
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Part 2?
Part 2? Should I post it today? How do you like the story? I know it's a different method but I hope it's still enjoyable^^
B-
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Stay with me (part 1)
(his pov)
Aside from Gustav, you trusted him the most
You always asked for his thoughts, his opinions
His ideas mattered to you and it made him feel special
Like he mattered to you
And to be honest, the way you look at him sometimes made him feel…
Like you care for him
Like you love him
But those are foolish notions
…Because you, the woman who captivated him, who stole his heart…
You are standing at the altar with the man of your dreams by your side, and that man is not him
But now he has to put a smile on his face
For you.
Because, why wouldn’t he be happy for you?
You have found love
He sees you smiling at your now husband, giving him one of your genuine smiles,
Your hand is squeezing his,
And as you’re saying your vows to him, Tom feel a tear slipping down his cheek.
He quickly wipes it off with the back of his hand.
He can’t do this.
How can he sit still and watch the love of his life profess her love to another man?
Georg sniffs beside him and Tom simply turn away from him, covering his mouth to suppress his pain.
“It’s so beautiful, isn’t it, Tom?” Georg says.
Tom can only nod as he takes a shuddering breath, forcing himself to shut down,
To block the pain,
To drown out his broken heart.
He manages to stand and clap as the new husband and wife are announced,
He manages to smile for the photos,
He manages to stay calm,
Composed,
Dead.
He plays the part of your best friend perfectly,
Telling people how happy he is for you.
“They’re perfect together.”
“I wouldn’t want anybody else for her.”
Tom is sitting alone at the reception, staring at everybody dancing around the happy couple,
Celebrating your love and new life.
But he wasn’t in the mood.
All he wanted to do was to storm out of that place and be alone.
He wanted to scream his lounges out and curse.
He wanted to disappear from this world and forget.
As he is taking a sip of his whisky, a shadow looms over him and he looks up.
His breath catches,
Because there you are,
Standing in front of him.
His perfect girl.
“Enjoying the party Tom?”
He manages to fake a smile as you sit down beside him and start talking.
This is the first time he has hated being your friend.
He hates it with all his heart and soul.
Just a friend, I’m just a friend to her.
“May I have this dance?” he asks after a short silence, smiling at you.
This might be my last moment with her.
“I mean, if your husband doesn’t mind…”
“Ah, I will have a lifetime to dance with him. Plus I’d love to have at least one dance with another important man in my life.”
He swallows his tears and forces out a smile.
You take his hand and he leads you to the dance floor, placing a hand on your waist and a week smile on his lips.
He sweeps you across the dance floor as the orchestra plays a soft song:
“Despite my despair the dawn wakes me up without a single care”
As the music plays, as he holds you close to him, he stars thinking about all he would like to tell you.
All those words he should have said before.
Tonight, I’m baring my soul for you
“Can’t bear the sorrow in me”
There are so many things I want to tell you!
“Enduring the night unable to fall asleep”
No, you don’t know! I couldn’t even tell you how I feel…
“It hurts more than I expected”
I’ve been pretending for so long
“It’s creeping deeper than I thought”
I am terrified
“All the nights I spent resenting you”
I am afraid of the anger and sadness building up inside me. Because the truth is I’m afraid of a future without you by my side
“For me they just feel like hell”
I know my place though
“Stay beside me, stay with me”
I know you will never love me
“Don’t let go of me and my hand”
Please, just for tonight…
“If you take one step away from me,”
Let me pretend
“All I need to do is take one towards you.”
Let me engrave this in my memory and pretend I can take that step towards you
“All the smiles are now lost somewhere”
He suddenly laughs as he twirls you around and resumes dancing with you.
The last words of the song announce the end of your dance together.
“You were so beautiful”
No, don’t let this end, please
“Please don’t do this to me”
He releases you when the song ends, the last words fading into silence along with his smile.
I’m no longer myself, I can’t do it
Tom takes a step back —from you, from the sound of his own heart breaking into a million pieces.
This is me without you
You grin and he smiles back, committing the smile that captured his heart to his memory.
Can’t you see I’m still waiting for you?
But I can’t let you choose…I can’t do this to you
I love you too much
So I hope…
I hope you let me go
I wish I could break this long and painful silence with my foolish love for you but it’s too late now
I’m sorry I never told you
I’m sorry for what I’m about to do
But don’t feel bad
Don’t apologize
In fact…
Don’t ever forgive me
All I ask is, if this is my last night with you
Gathering courage, he reaches out and strokes your cheek.
Hold me like I’m more than just a friend
Tom suddenly leans forward to you and brushes his lips lightly across your cheek, whispering:
“Give me a memory I can use.”
You stand confused and watch the painful expression on his handsome face.
His eyes are asking for something you can not decipher.
Silence…
I’ll remember you a thousands times over the days, every day
He pulls back his hand that was on your cheek.
It doesn’t matters how this ends for me
And he lets you go.
“Tom…?”
He shakes his head and backs away.
“I wish you all the happiness in the world, beautiful.”
You reach out for him but your husband hugs you tight from behind and you look away, distracted.
Tom turns back and takes a last look at you,
I hope you’ll be happy.
You try looking for him before taking the last pictures with all your guests but no one knows were he is.
He is nowhere to be found.
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