imgoingtogomissingsoon - Tumblr blog

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"jesse pinkman would love mcr" "jesse would listen to lemon demon"

yall are insane. jesse would listen to pretty fly for a white guy and have no idea it's supposed to be ironic

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If Walter White has the death note does Jessie survive breaking bad? Does anyone?!

...

No.

Let's break this down though.

Let's say Walter White gets the notebook at the beginning of the series before he's fully embraced the dark side. He has a bizarre introduction to Ryuk, wonders if the cancer has already spread to his brain, and chooses to actively ignore it.

Then Crazy Eight happens.

That notebook starts to look very tempting. If Walter lets Crazy Eight live, then he'll murder him and his family. Walter knows this, but he also really really really doesn't want to kill a man. Even if, with this notebook, if it actually works, then Walter can engineer his death in such a way that it will be painless and won't trace back to Walter.

I imagine he doesn't do it then, has to kill Crazy Eight by hand as in canon, and bitterly regrets not using it as he a) had to murder a man by hand anyway b) the body cleanup is a cluster fuck.

(Ryuk also mercilessly points this out to Walter, though he's loving the fucking meth lab thing Walter has going on, "You could make this a TV show")

Then comes Tuco.

This time, Walter gives it a try.

Tuco is filled with the sudden need to snort a lot of meth, a lot, a lot more than usual, and Hector watches helpless as Tuco dies of a drug overdose. (Oh, don't worry, he still hates Walter White and thinks he's a rat, but it's not the shootout and attempted poisoning we got in canon and it's clearly Tuco having fallen prey to his addiction and something that was, perhaps, a long time coming.)

Jesse likely calls 911 in order to get the cops out to this location to find Hector and the body but the pair vamoose, with Hector unwilling to talk to the police about the odd kidnapping.

(Hank, as a result, is not promoted as he doesn't gun down Tuco. He doesn't have his brief foray into El Paso and is not quite as obsessive over Heisenberg in the initial aftermath/confrontation.

He also, later, will not be attacked by the cousins and paralyzed.

Hank doesn't realize he's literally dodged bullets.)

Walter at first wonders, again, if the cancer has gone to his brain but he's not losing time, his moods are (relatively) stable, and there's no inconsistencies. The death god, grim reaper, whatever the fuck it is is real, and Walter has a weapon he can use to murder if he has a name and a face.

Walter makes a point of breaking into Hank's office under false pretexts and memorizing the names and faces of everyone in the drug business who Walter may cross paths with next.

When Badger is arrested, he hangs himself in prison. Jesse is appalled and horrified, grieving, and unable to understand why someone as cheerful as Badger would do this.

"Ah, well, prison is rough," Walter consoles him.

However, what Walter doesn't realize is that this prevents him from getting into business with Saul, who had the means to get him connected with Gus.

He and Jesse are small fries again trying to sell their own shit with no middle management.

Walter tries to get Jessie's friends involved as he did in canon. Jesse once again notes this is an awful idea and that they are not the kind of people who can do this kind of operation. More, the people who normally do this sort of thing are fucking dead as Walter killed Crazy Eight and Tuco snorted himself to death.

Not to mention, of course, that it's not their territory and if they try they will all be murdered.

As usual, Walter doesn't care. They're still in shock over Badger, grieving over it, but are interested in both the money and the meth.

As before, this goes bad, and we'll say Combo gets killed again. Poor, poor, Combo.

Well, Walt can't stand for this and neither can Jessie. Walt asks if Jessie can find out who it was, does he have photos? Walter needs names and faces here.

Jessie figures Walter's going to try to get Hank to bust them and tries to talk him out of it: you can't do that Walter, otherwise everyone will kill you.

Eventually, as usual, Walter's able to get the names through Jessie who does some snooping. It's highly likely that there's some record (as these were low level under Gus) and Walter's seen them through Hank's files.

Well, they're about to have a very bad day.

Walter flagrantly kills them in such a way to make it look like deliberate murder/revenge. He wants their people to know that Heisenberg is responsible and that he follows up on threats. ("I am the danger" - Walter White)

Unfortunately, this probably goes awry, as Walter hasn't been spending his time learning the million rules that come with the Death Note. I can see Walter trying to get the pair to make their own ricin, ingest it, then spraypainting "Heisenberg" on a wall or something. However, the Death Note can't impart knowledge that the victim doesn't already have: they can't make ricin if they don't know how.

They die of heart attacks.

Walter throws a bitch fit of bitch fits as now his cool murder is ruined and everyone just thinks they had fucking heart conditions.

I imagine Walter, upon figuring out which cartel they belong to, tries again with other cartel members, now knowing the rules a little better to send the message.

Mike and Gus are now very aware that someone's whacking off their guys and the Salamancas.

Hank, who initially thought this was great and threw a party in the office at all the dead cartel members, is starting to get a little weirded out.

First, Crazy Eight disappears. Then Tuco dies of a drug overdose. Then all these street thugs just die one after the other in murders with no forensic evidence.

This, combined with the blue meth, that's still on the streets despite all the deaths: there's a new king pin and it's looking like, somehow, he's murdering off all competition.

This leaves Hank about where he was in canon: he really really really wants to catch this fucker Heisenberg (while Walter is smugly gloating thinking how cool he is and wanting to expand further).

Gus, meanwhile, is getting serious in a way that he didn't have to in canon: they have to find out who this Heisenberg is. Walter left enough clues that someone like Gus, who is a master of looking not like a kingpin, will be easily able to find him especially through Mike who is hired to look into exactly this sort of thing.

I imagine they wait and watch for a long time, as Walter's operation is, frankly, pathetic. He only has a few young men under his thumb, two of them have died already, his partner is a drug addict, and he appears to have no muscle. How could this man kill anyone? While it would be safer to get rid of him entirely, learning how he's doing it is of vital importance.

Mike gets to break into the house and finds (along with cash hidden in the walls) a strange black notebook, filled with the names of all their people along with Tuco, and a death clown who's just fucking loving this.

Mike has a really strange day but decides that he's taking the hallucination notebook into the lab.

And Walter, of course, gets to freak out that his murder weapon was stolen from under his nose and gets told by Ryuk that, unless he gets it back soon, he's going to lose ownership of it and lose all his memories of it.

Walter, in his panic, probably does something exceedingly violent and stupid and likely dies because of it as he has no idea who took it.

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Carlos funèralo here to officially read out the will for our dearly departed friend, ms skyler white. The will reads as follows.

To Walter 'Flynn' Jr, she has left her car wash business, as well as most of her house. The one part of the house not going to Flynn is the kitchen, which has been left to Jesse Pinkman.

To her ex husband Walter White, she has given him exactly $2 billion in medical debt.

To her trusted friend and lawyer Saul Goodman, she leaves all of her outfits, including her valued wedding dress.

Her live grenade was entrusted to a Lalo Salamanca, however we are aware this grenade has since been detonated. We do have a zip-seal sandwich bag filled with grenade shrapnel instead.

To Tuco Salamanca, she leaves exactly 300 pounds of 98% purity crystal methamphetamine.

Her car has been left to her daughter, Holly White.

Her extensive collection of souvenir spoons has been left to her sister, Marie Schrader.

To her brother-in-law Hank Schrader, she has left twenty-two dead kern river rainbow trout. We request that these are picked up ASAP as they smell fucking awful jesus christ

To Lydia Rodarte-Quayle, she has left her old diamond engagement ring, as well as 12 million in Stevia company shares.

And finally, last but not least, she has requested that all the spare batteries out of the kitchen drawer (all 265 of them) are left to Charles Mcgill.

Thank you all for being here today.

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nacho would be so mean to jesse. like he would flat out be like. jesse. i’m only gonna say this once. we aren’t friends. we aren’t even associates. i don’t like you. we are just coworkers. okay? and then later in another season jesse would save his life or something and nacho would ask why and jesse would shrug and be like. don’t you have a dad who would miss you? anyways can u tell i am normal abt them.

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SOMEONE reported my gritty BrBa post and got me shadow banned

and i think it’s funny that they labeled it as sexually explicit.

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there’s literally a part in breaking bad where jesse says “mr white do you want to race go-karts with me” & of course walter turns him down but thats real. it really happens.

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walt wouldn’t say unalive, and jesse wouldn’t either, but u know who absolutely would? saul goodman

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mean girls !!! but theyre not girls and they make meth !!!!

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I think of this video every time I say I love bobo

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“if you have time to lean you have time to clean” ohhh fuckin if i have time to work i have time to jerk. bitch

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Where's my money... bitch? WHERE'S my money, where's my... Where's MY money, bitch, huh, bitch? Where's my MONEY, bitch? Oh, that's good... Where's my money? Where's my money, bitch bitch where's my money?

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wtf he’s literally eating a taco (no he isn’t he’s acting like a whore)

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Rating BrBa Characters On How They Hit The Gritty

Walter White

2/10 Absolutely disrespectful.

Jesse Pinkman

8/10 He’s popping his pussy hitting the gritty.

Skylar White

3/10 She’s hip with it but only slightly better than Walt.

Hank Schrader

6.5/10 It’s kinda foul but pity points because he got shot.

Marie Schrader

3/10 She think she hip with it but it just ain’t it.

Flynn White

5/10 He put his heart into it and that’s all that matters.

Holly White

0/10 Disrespectful and utterly foul.

Gustavo Fring

6/10 He did it for charity.

Mike Erhmantraut

5/10 He’d only do it for Kaylee but he’s as sturdy as an old man can get with it.

Saul Goodman

7/10 Sturdy with it. His wife cut it out of the commercial though. :(

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle

1/10 She gets one point more than Holly for mobility but it’s just as disrespectful.

Todd Alquist

6/10 Did it on ——’s grave for the giggle.

Skinny Pete

7/10 Taught Jesse everything he knows.

Badger

9/10 Sturdy and Jesse’s mad jealous.

Combo

8/10 He hopped on the bandwagon and near demolished it if it weren’t for Badger.

Tuco Salamanca

6/10 Don’t tell him I said that though.

Hector Salamanca

2/10 For a paraplegic he’s still somehow better than Lydia and Holly combined.

Steve Gomez

6/10 Only did it because Hank called him a pussy.

Gretchen Schwartz

4/10 No one is actually sure what they saw.

Elliot Schwartz

4/10 Painstakingly average.

Ted Beneke

5/10 Sturdy but average before his rug tried to take him offline.

Jane Margolis

10/10 She’s perfect.

Victor

7/10 Did it when Tyrus wasn’t looking.

Tyrus

7/10 Was looking when Victor did it and hit it looking him dead in the eye.

Gale Boetticher

4/10 Something about the way he hits it is just average despite his extensive research.

Marco Salamanca

6/10 Pretty sturdy but just ok.

Leonel Salamanca

3/10 On account of no legs. :(

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lalo, arriving at el michoacano beaten to a pulp: haha well you should see the other guy

nacho, walking in behind him covered in kiss marks:

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