immoralis

[immoralis]

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@fujubun • @faaola • @everheir • @immoralis • @shibutoi ** Fujubun is the primary blog, the rest are secondary !

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Albedo | Ray • Trans Male • He | It | They • 27 • Local Entity Freelance Artist • Casual Content Creator • Slime E-Dad Energetic • Talkative • Chaotic • Disabled • Dyslexic • Suspected AUDHD 20+ years of writing experience • 10+ years of tumblr roleplay experience more information can be found here ** Discord is available for ooc communication only ( typically ) ! Its cometstatic !

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[immoralis]

" My my, full of questions are we ? " Ardyn asked in response, tone clearly amused and his lips quirking up into a smile, " Though I fear you'll be rather bored of my response to all of them. I unfortunately wasn't invited to go camping with them. "

He shifts, twirling his wrist and looking off into the distance for a moment in thought, " I don't think your father or his companions would consider me a best friend, we weren't always on good terms you know. " and as he speaks, he finally looks back at Novus, taking a seat next to the young boy. He leaned in closer, just a bit, now whispering a bit more playfully, " In fact, your father and I used to be rather quite the set of enemies. Tell me, have you learned about Niflheim yet in your studies ? "

Watch him. Really? His nanny usually did that whenever needed, but perhaps she'd taken the day off without his notice. "An old friend?" he repeated, raising a brow skeptically while slinging his backpack off his shoulder. He'd just gotten home from school and some strange guy had to watch him? Weird. But he supposed that things had to be busy given life in the citadel. "Ok...Nice to meet you. I'm Novus." he answered with a slight smile. "I'm not scared either." he added. Truly, the only thing that was a bit scary was his attire but then again he'd been taught that some were lower class within Insomnia so perhaps Ardyn was one of them. Possibly his wardrobe simply couldn't be helped.

Something else caught his attention though. The fact that Ardyn knew his father. "You know my Dad?" he asked heading over to a chair and offering Ardyn a seat since it's what he'd seen people do numerous times while others were waiting for his parents. Slumping a bit against the chair to relax, the Prince began asking questions to pass the time. "How'd you guys meet? Are you guys best friends too? Did you get to go on the camping trip with Uncle Gladio, Uncle Ignis, and Uncle Prompto? Cause I didn't see you in any of the pictures."

@immoralis

[immoralis]

"Who are you and how come you're following me?"

" Oh ! My my, what have we here ? " Ardyn questioned, eyes narrowing as a small, slight smirk quirked the edges of his mouth, " A sneaky one, are we ? "

Truthfully, he wasn't surprised he had been caught but there was no harm in playing along, " I'm nobody of importance, truly ! Though if you must, my name is Ardyn. I am... as we'll say, an old friend of the family. " he paused a moment, flourishing his hand in the air, his words playful and light.

" Forgive me if I've frightened you lad, I was tasked by your father with watching you for the time being. Many many important meetings to get through, I'm sure you understand. "

[immoralis]

(Glauca) "Maiming is what I prefer. Psychologically."

(=｀ω´=)

“I can’t really say I’m surprised.” Ardyn hummed, a slight quirk of his lips etching at the edges, “It would be too easy and quite honestly expected of you had you said physically.”

He looked up at Glauca with a well hidden curious glance before he turned away once more, “So then, what, may I ask, has prompted you to state this? Plans this evening, I presume? And without me, no less...”

[immoralis]

✰  —  —  *  MORE POPULAR TEXT POST STARTERS

‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  420 stands for “4got 2 0pologize”  ’ ‘  all millennials do is commit minor felonies and be gay  ’ ‘  hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!  ’ ‘  i thought christmas was like… next friday or something its in like 3 days fuck  ’ ‘  if you’re not in love with me by 00:00:00 jan 1 then just block me. i don’t need that kind of energy following me into the new year  ’ ‘  who needs ghosts? haunt your own house. wander around your own living room wailing and crying  ’ ‘  my kink is not opening messages and pretending theyre not there  ’ ‘  u know when ur growing out of phases and mindsets but u haven’t found where exactly ur shift in identity is going yet? that’s tonight’s mood  ’ ‘  me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare  ’ ‘  there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you  ’ ‘  god knew what she was doing when she made bruno mars short if he had been tall he would be too powerful  ’ ‘  motivation? haven’t heard of her in years how she doin  ’ ‘  Do you think people with LED headlights know that everyone hates them? Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know?  ’ ‘  and the final mood for 2017 is: you know those days where you’re like, this might as well happen?  ’ ‘  putting more importance into self care, spirituality, love and peace of mind. start with stretching and deep breathing.  ’ ‘  dont forget to tell someone you love that you love them, thank people who deserve to be thanked, be more patient on people having a hard time, be more considerate, understanding, and be kinder, always.  ’ ‘  do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic  ’ ‘  2032 is gonna be my year just u wait  ’ ‘  I want a “I made a playlist for you” typa love  ’ ‘  @ 2018 the bar is literally so low  ’ ‘  Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. 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What the fuck??”  ’ ‘  my hands? ready to be held  ’ ‘  Catch These Hands! with your hands. we’re holding hands now. this is nice  ’ ‘  kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea  ’ ‘  physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll  ’ ‘  I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand  ’ ‘  my childhood, or, as i like to call it, the general abyss with one or two memories attached to it   ’ ‘  i know ‘gay’ isn’t an emotion but let’s be real,,,,,,,,,it kind of is and i feel it 24/7  ’ ‘  babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it  ’ ‘  just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined  ’ ‘  i’m the person who’s 100% down for spontaneous adventures but also 100% down to lay in bed all day. i’m on both ends of the spectrum  ’ ‘  this year has changed me more than I ever thought it would.   ’ ‘  it’s ok to disappear for a lil while and get your shit together.  ’ ‘  if you wanna love me hmu  ’ ‘  calling me baby makes me so freakin weak  ’ ‘  i’m that one guy on spongebob always screaming about his leg  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  i just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time.  ’ ‘  never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if i get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how i go.  ’ ‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45  ’ ‘  my blood is glow stick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move.  ’ ‘  are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for  ’ ‘  honestly, my goal in life is just to be a very warm person. i want to be as loving and as kind as i can be.  ’ ‘  just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch  ’ ‘  you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well  ’ ‘  when y'all fake conversations in your heads do you sometimes say random sentences out loud too? i was just tying my shoes and said very sternly and loudly “i DO know how ants work, fucker”  ’ ‘  true space facts: if u look up there it is  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  how am i sensitive and a bitch at the same time  ’

[immoralis]

IN THE LOOP (2009) PT. 2/? All quotes are taken directly from the film, change pronouns as you like. Heavy swearing and NSFW.

 Are you fucking me about?

I’ve just come from a briefing with a nine year old child.

I’ve got bigger fish to fry, believe me.

What is this? Surround bollocking?

Hey, with all due respect I wasn’t finished.

Right, that’s enough all the fucking Oxbridge pleasantries!

Right, I’m off to deal with the fate of the planet.

I know you can’t fire a gun, but can you use a fax?

I’m doing my own dirty work. I’m doing my job.

Why don’t you put your feet up on the pouffe and go back to sleep, why don’t you?

You know what you look like? A squeezed dick.

Have you ever actually killed anybody, I mean really?

Maiming is what I prefer. Psychologically.

Oi, horse of the year, was it you?

I know the leak came from in here. From this fucking fax machine right here.

Do you see how angry I am with the piece of office equipment that leaked this document?! Huh?!

The only reason you listen to this shit is because it’s bad form to actually wear a hat that says “I went to private school!“ 

You’re too old to go back to being a gentleman’s fluffer, aren’t you?!

If you think I’m going quietly, you’ve made a mistake.

I went see There Will Be Blood, and there wasn’t any fucking blood!

I am gonna tear this place apart! You wouldn’t believe an inanimate room can scream, but it will! There will be plaster!

I’m … Neutral Club. First rule of Neutral Club: let’s hear what the other rules are, then we’ll take an overview.

NO, YOU RELAX!

You’ll be fucking burnt to death but you’ll smell of fucking sandalwood!

D'you know, I’m quite… aroused… by the idea of giving you a long… hard… disciplinary hearing.

What, is this a fucking speed date?

[immoralis]

IN THE LOOP (2009) PT. 1/? All quotes are taken directly from the film, change pronouns as you like. Heavy swearing and NSFW.

Fuckity-bye!

I’m gonna come over there, I’m gonna lock you in a fucking flotation tank and pump it full of sewage until you fucking drown!

Yeah, diarrhea of a nobody, yeah, I like that.

You sounded like a fucking Nazi Julie Andrews!

Christ on a bendy-bus, don’t be such a fucking faff-arse.

You know, if I could, I’d fucking punch you into paralysis!

I really hope there isn’t a war. It’s gonna be a nightmare; it’s bad enough dealing with the fucking Olympics.

Good luck at the Foreign Office, try not to annoy Russia.

This is the problem with civilians wanting to go to war. Once you’ve been there, once you’ve seen it, you never want to go again unless you absolutely fucking have to. It’s like France.

Oh shit, he’s still alive.

If I tell you to fuck off, what do you do?

Where do you think you are, in some fucking regency costume drama?!

I did try to warn you.

I’m here, I’m there, I’m fucking everywhere. I’m the egg man.

Have you come to insult me in a different timezone?

You stay detached, otherwise that’s what I’ll do to your retinas.

No offense, son, but you look like you should still be at school with your head down a fucking toilet.

Don’t get sarcastic with me.

You get sarcastic with me again, and I will stuff so much cotton wool down your fucking throat it’ll come out your arse like the wee tail on a Playboy Bunny!

Do you like how I’m telling you what’s going on where you are?

I’ve got this covered.

Go on, it’ll be easy-peasy-lemon-squeazy.

It’ll be difficult-difficult-lemon-difficult, that’s what it’ll be.

Have a lovely afternoon. Stop a war for me.

[immoralis]

shitpostgenerator sentence starters

❝  please don’t feel the buttplug.  ❞

❝  why are you screaming at pasta?  ❞

❝  you can’t trust angry taxes.  ❞

❝  where are the friends?  ❞

❝  avoid father.  ❞

❝  i fucked capitalism.  ❞

❝  *punches your cops while i save me from kinkshaming evil cash*  ❞

❝  buddy i aam afraid.  ❞

❝  fucked up.  ❞

❝  but can your wicked sick republican mail your friends my communist gender?  ❞

❝  i can’t believe a sjw fucked the moon  ❞

❝  judge the nut.  ❞

❝  warning: controversial horses.  ❞

❝  what is the ass man?  ❞

❝  i need to know if i can suck your mozzarella stick.  ❞

❝  destroy the moon.  ❞

❝  you are rude and libertarian and can’t have your drugs dissapointed.  ❞

❝  here we kinkshame worthless dead kinkshaming.  ❞

❝  i will not suck a certain snowman.  ❞

❝  i have become a fool.  ❞

❝  my moms.  ❞

❝  fuck you, tiffany.  ❞

❝  do aliens eat ass?  ❞

❝  i am the first werewolf to feel regrets.  ❞

❝  can communists find me?  ❞

❝  who put a fish on my kinky train?  ❞

❝  who put shitty pizza on my miserable corpse?  ❞

❝  why are tragedies so heterosexual?  ❞

❝  can raccoons feel me?  ❞

❝  bros.  ❞

❝  here we bully the capitalist government.  ❞

❝  i don’t want to suffer anymore.  ❞

❝  suddenly children.  ❞

❝  go on a date with bees.  ❞

❝  half disappointment, half snowman.  ❞

❝  how to prevent a husband.  ❞

❝  please stop disappointing bees.  ❞

❝  large dick ruined by blender.  ❞

❝  fuck dudes who lie about bread.  ❞

❝  i was aroused by my hat.  ❞

❝  this fruit wants to be known as ‘the lord of weed’.  ❞

❝  location: forest.  ❞

❝  can i doxx a bear?  ❞

❝  it’s okay to confess your feelings for garbage.  ❞

❝  block jesus.  ❞

❝  way too many spiders.  ❞

❝  look at this incredibly naked man.  ❞

❝  are we all a titty?  ❞

❝  i will vore my way out of hell to fuck up the sentient god of cops.  ❞

❝  burn in hell.  ❞

❝  you need to not date trash.  ❞

❝  my goal is to straight up suffer.  ❞

❝  cock space. ❞